Depth of Deception, Is There Any Line To Great For A Wayward To Cross?

[atreides]

I loved that child, my first son or so I thought. I named him after the man I respected most in my life, my father who had passed away 3 years earlier. I would often lay him in my bed, just the two of us while his mother was out with her friends. I put up with this because she had just given me a son and I knew the pregnancy was hard on her, she deserved some freedom and I completely trusted her. What a fool I was. I think I cried more for his loss then loosing her. I lost a lot when I finally learned the truth. He is completely innocent but I had to let him go because I couldn't have her and other man in my life anymore. Other man had more rights to him than I did.

 

((aliveagain)) wish i could have a drink with you. I am sorry.

[No Limit]

I wonder how she's going to answer when he asks where his name comes from. Some people should really just be sterilized. Or have the decency to change the name, as harsh as that may sound.

[TrustedthenBusted]

I haven't read all the repsonses yet, but my $.02 is that no... there is no line they will not cross. My wife went out of her way to introduce me to both OMs. One, in my house, pretending to be the IT guy from the office there to fix her computer ( she was home with a broken leg at the time.)

 

The other was at the company Xmas party. Shook his hand, made some idle chit chat, and moved on, because he was kind of a weird little dork and I wasn't really interested in him. THought it was weird she would even introduce me to someone like that. Shows what I know.

 

I've heard stories much worse, yours included, so I belive, again...No. there is no line they won't cross.

 

I don't understand WHY so many waywards go out of their way to intruduce the OM to the spouse, but of a lot of them seem to do this.

 

I asked my wife, and she said she wanted them to meet me so because in some weird way she wanted them to be jealous, or at least understand that she was married to a real man's man or whatever. Both were very afraid after meeting me. The first one ended it rigtht after that. Smart guy. The second one wasn't so smart, and ended up getting his noggin bounced off the sidewalk.

[Noirek]

I haven't read all the repsonses yet, but my $.02 is that no... there is no line they will not cross. My wife went out of her way to introduce me to both OMs. One, in my house, pretending to be the IT guy from the office there to fix her computer ( she was home with a broken leg at the time.)

 

The other was at the company Xmas party. Shook his hand, made some idle chit chat, and moved on, because he was kind of a weird little dork and I wasn't really interested in him. THought it was weird she would even introduce me to someone like that. Shows what I know.

 

I've heard stories much worse, yours included, so I belive, again...No. there is no line they won't cross.

 

I don't understand WHY so many waywards go out of their way to intruduce the OM to the spouse, but of a lot of them seem to do this.

 

I asked my wife, and she said she wanted them to meet me so because in some weird way she wanted them to be jealous, or at least understand that she was married to a real man's man or whatever. Both were very afraid after meeting me. The first one ended it rigtht after that. Smart guy. The second one wasn't so smart, and ended up getting his noggin bounced off the sidewalk.

 

Even some of us cheaters have lines we won't cross. Not all but just like your other refuse of society such as theives and murderers and others not all waywards are the same. I used to be on a site dedicated to us and it was often talked about. The saying isn't there is no honor among theives it is their is honor among theives. I don't think it really matters though except it can make the cleanup worse the more lines that are crossed. Think about theives. Some will only steal from box stores and some will only steal from strangers while others will steal no matter the oppurtunity.

[merrmeade]

Even some of us cheaters have lines we won't cross. Not all but just like your other refuse of society such as theives and murderers and others not all waywards are the same. I used to be on a site dedicated to us and it was often talked about. The saying isn't there is no honor among theives it is their is honor among theives. I don't think it really matters though except it can make the cleanup worse the more lines that are crossed. Think about theives. Some will only steal from box stores and some will only steal from strangers while others will steal no matter the oppurtunity.

Chilling. And the chutzpah to post such an explanation on this forum.

[Noirek]

Chilling. And the chutzpah to post such an explanation on this forum.

 

How so? I was merely pointing out that like any morally wrong behaviour umbrella there are levels of depraivity. I really don't see how my opinion was "the chuptzpah" or "chilling". I said it was wrong but just because one person cheats doesn't mean they don't have lines. Some will never talk ill of their spouse, some will never bring the AP around, some won't even communicate unless they are away from their spouse. Other people who cheat will do what alive's wife did and worse. There are people who would never have an affair with an in law or friend but instead seek their APs through craigslist or dating sites. I don't think it makes the cheating any better. But you can always make things worse.

 

My reply was in answer to the OPs title. I know you don't like agree with that. But when someone else agreed that there are no lines waywards won't cross I felt i could share that for some waywards there are indeed lines. Just not the one that really matters. For this wayward woman there were no lines apparently. And I feel so very sad for him. I think it was terrible that this friend so selfishly decided to unburden her guilt and reopen a wound. Nothing was to be gained by this knowledge as they were long separated.

 

Being a terrible person can be hard on a soul. I imagine the ex's trying to reconnect is because she lost a good and decent man and misses that stability in her life. Unfortunatly she will probably never change. Fortunatly, alive has a new life.

 

Aliveagain, I apologize if my posting has offended you as I did not intend it that way. Do you have any children now?

[atreides]

How so? I was merely pointing out that like any morally wrong behaviour umbrella there are levels of depraivity. I really don't see how my opinion was "the chuptzpah" or "chilling". I said it was wrong but just because one person cheats doesn't mean they don't have lines. Some will never talk ill of their spouse, some will never bring the AP around, some won't even communicate unless they are away from their spouse. Other people who cheat will do what alive's wife did and worse. There are people who would never have an affair with an in law or friend but instead seek their APs through craigslist or dating sites. I don't think it makes the cheating any better. But you can always make things worse.

 

My reply was in answer to the OPs title. I know you don't like agree with that. But when someone else agreed that there are no lines waywards won't cross I felt i could share that for some waywards there are indeed lines. Just not the one that really matters. For this wayward woman there were no lines apparently. And I feel so very sad for him. I think it was terrible that this friend so selfishly decided to unburden her guilt and reopen a wound. Nothing was to be gained by this knowledge as they were long separated.

 

Being a terrible person can be hard on a soul. I imagine the ex's trying to reconnect is because she lost a good and decent man and misses that stability in her life. Unfortunatly she will probably never change. Fortunatly, alive has a new life.

 

Aliveagain, I apologize if my posting has offended you as I did not intend it that way. Do you have any children now?

 

I agree, there are levels of disrespect, per aliveagain, i don't think your post is offensive. I gave some examples that i think are deplorable on a previous page for this thread. I also gave an example of a female who said her cheating was more respectful than others. It can be swallowed as such BUT only after one can get over the cheat first.

 

What aliveagain said about his thought to be son though was absolutely crushing. I had to pause after reading that.

[aliveagain]

How so? I was merely pointing out that like any morally wrong behaviour umbrella there are levels of depraivity. I really don't see how my opinion was "the chuptzpah" or "chilling". I said it was wrong but just because one person cheats doesn't mean they don't have lines. Some will never talk ill of their spouse, some will never bring the AP around, some won't even communicate unless they are away from their spouse. Other people who cheat will do what alive's wife did and worse. There are people who would never have an affair with an in law or friend but instead seek their APs through craigslist or dating sites. I don't think it makes the cheating any better. But you can always make things worse.

 

My reply was in answer to the OPs title. I know you don't like agree with that. But when someone else agreed that there are no lines waywards won't cross I felt i could share that for some waywards there are indeed lines. Just not the one that really matters. For this wayward woman there were no lines apparently. And I feel so very sad for him. I think it was terrible that this friend so selfishly decided to unburden her guilt and reopen a wound. Nothing was to be gained by this knowledge as they were long separated.

 

Being a terrible person can be hard on a soul. I imagine the ex's trying to reconnect is because she lost a good and decent man and misses that stability in her life. Unfortunatly she will probably never change. Fortunatly, alive has a new life.

 

Aliveagain, I apologize if my posting has offended you as I did not intend it that way. Do you have any children now?

 

Your post has not offended me and I appreciate your response. I have two amazing daughters. Guilt was a big factor in her decision to tell me about pretending to be O/M's date. I would have preferred that she had never approached me because her friendship isn't something that I will rekindle. That information was of no help to me, all it did was cause me further hurt. All kinds of thoughts have been swirling around in my head about that very difficult time in my life.

 

My main thought today was "how was someone I loved and respected that much able to do what she did to me?" How did it get to that point, we were the couple everyone wanted to hang out with, there were always people at our house. Other thoughts included my feeling of guilt over the gifts we received from a baby shower the people in my company threw for us, was I supposed to give them back their money because he wasn't mine? Stupid, I know. The last thought just now was about having to tell my mother that he wasn't mine while she was in the hospital going through tests just a week before she passed. These are all thoughts that I hadn't had to deal with for a very long time.

[SawtoothMars]

My main thought today was "how was someone I loved and respected that much able to do what she did to me?" How did it get to that point, we were the couple everyone wanted to hang out with, there were always people at our house. Other thoughts included my feeling of guilt over the gifts we received from a baby shower the people in my company threw for us, was I supposed to give them back their money because he wasn't mine? Stupid, I know. The last thought just now was about having to tell my mother that he wasn't mine while she was in the hospital going through tests just a week before she passed. These are all thoughts that I hadn't had to deal with for a very long time.

 

That story I shared is probably one of my life's deepest embarrassments. It does hurt a little bit to dig around in that wound...

 

As a young kid I never understood why Dante made the lowest level of hell for treachery. Now that I am an adult... I understand that those who are most evil in this world are the betrayers of trust. Those people who seek to use your kindness and love to hurt you.

[Arieswoman]

aliveagain,

 

My main thought today was "how was someone I loved and respected that much able to do what she did to me?" How did it get to that point, we were the couple everyone wanted to hang out with, there were always people at our house. Other thoughts included my feeling of guilt over the gifts we received from a baby shower the people in my company threw for us, was I supposed to give them back their money because he wasn't mine? Stupid, I know. The last thought just now was about having to tell my mother that he wasn't mine while she was in the hospital going through tests just a week before she passed. These are all thoughts that I hadn't had to deal with for a very long time.

 

I am sorry for your pain x.

[merrmeade]

Even some of us cheaters have lines we won't cross. Not all but just like your other refuse of society such as theives and murderers and others not all waywards are the same. I used to be on a site dedicated to us and it was often talked about. The saying isn't there is no honor among theives it is their is honor among theives. I don't think it really matters though except it can make the cleanup worse the more lines that are crossed. Think about theives. Some will only steal from box stores and some will only steal from strangers while others will steal no matter the oppurtunity.

Chilling. And the chutzpah to post such an explanation on this forum.

How so? I was merely pointing out that like any morally wrong behaviour umbrella there are levels of depraivity. I really don't see how my opinion was "the chuptzpah" or "chilling". I said it was wrong but just because one person cheats doesn't mean they don't have lines. Some will never talk ill of their spouse, some will never bring the AP around, some won't even communicate unless they are away from their spouse. Other people who cheat will do what alive's wife did and worse. There are people who would never have an affair with an in law or friend but instead seek their APs through craigslist or dating sites. I don't think it makes the cheating any better. But you can always make things worse.

 

My reply was in answer to the OPs title. I know you don't like agree with that. But when someone else agreed that there are no lines waywards won't cross I felt i could share that for some waywards there are indeed lines. Just not the one that really matters. For this wayward woman there were no lines apparently. And I feel so very sad for him. I think it was terrible that this friend so selfishly decided to unburden her guilt and reopen a wound. Nothing was to be gained by this knowledge as they were long separated.

 

Being a terrible person can be hard on a soul. I imagine the ex's trying to reconnect is because she lost a good and decent man and misses that stability in her life. Unfortunatly she will probably never change. Fortunatly, alive has a new life.

No, no, Noirek, it's just that I couldn't get any further than the examples which compare waywards, yourself included, to thieves and murderers, the most vilified segment of society. It seemed ballsy, as in gutsy, to me and, yes, chilling, but not in an offensive way. Anyway, I was tired and thought "had the chutzpah" sounded better than "had the balls" (but maybe not since I never use either one). Also said "forum" when I meant to say "thread."

 

I'd also never read any posts by you and so, when the first post referred in six lines out of seven, to waywards as thieves, murderers and "other refuse of society," I was shocked, but hardly offended. I mean, I got that you were stepping up to the plate, but the outright candor of the low-life comparison juxtaposed next to the rather cold analysis of other ways they were alike, well, I couldn't really focus on the argument.

 

In fact, I wondered if you were being intentionally macabre (and maybe you were). The main thing was how you just exhausted that simile, unpacking every comparison possible.

 

So maybe this would have been better:

Chilling, but effective, comparison of waywards to thieves and murderer. Pretty bold move to reinforce the assertion in the title and identify yourself with it as well. Wow.

 

It was a powerful statement. Sorry for the miscommunication.

[Noirek]

No, no, Noirek, it's just that I couldn't get any further than the examples which compare waywards, yourself included, to thieves and murderers, the most vilified segment of society. It seemed ballsy, as in gutsy, to me and, yes, chilling, but not in an offensive way. Anyway, I was tired and thought "had the chutzpah" sounded better than "had the balls" (but maybe not since I never use either one). Also said "forum" when I meant to say "thread."

 

I'd also never read any posts by you and so, when the first post referred in six lines out of seven, to waywards as thieves, murderers and "other refuse of society," I was shocked, but hardly offended. I mean, I got that you were stepping up to the plate, but the outright candor of the low-life comparison juxtaposed next to the rather cold analysis of other ways they were alike, well, I couldn't really focus on the argument.

 

In fact, I wondered if you were being intentionally macabre (and maybe you were). The main thing was how you just exhausted that simile, unpacking every comparison possible.

 

So maybe this would have been better:

Chilling, but effective, comparison of waywards to thieves and murderer. Pretty bold move to reinforce the assertion in the title and identify yourself with it as well. Wow.

 

It was a powerful statement. Sorry for the miscommunication.

 

Okay, thank you. I did misunderstand and that is probably because I can be sensitive. Your explanation was appreciated.

[aliveagain]

That story I shared is probably one of my life's deepest embarrassments. It does hurt a little bit to dig around in that wound...

 

As a young kid I never understood why Dante made the lowest level of hell for treachery. Now that I am an adult... I understand that those who are most evil in this world are the betrayers of trust. Those people who seek to use your kindness and love to hurt you.

 

Betraying trust will get you some of the biggest penalties/prison time available in the business world, ask any broker that has beached the trust of a shareholder or a realtor that has breached the trust of a purchaser. Try breaching the trust of a bank and see how they react, the fraud people will be all over you in a micro second. Things can be replaced, but when your partner in life chooses to change their alliance and is the one pushing the knife in your back it's undefendable. Your first reacting is disbelief your second reaction is what do you try and save first and all these decisions are being made while your in a state of shock. They on the other hand have had days, weeks, months, years to think about what to say if caught and may even have worked out a matching strategy with their affair partner, two against one.

 

The personal pain inflicted by infidelity/breaching of trust by a loved one is one of the worst pains for anyone to overcome and it takes the longest to heal from.

Edited March 13, 2015 by aliveagain

[beatcuff]

MJA, no she was telling me the truth. She has nothing to gain by lying to me. She has become very successful in the world of promoting and has no reason to lie to me. I believe what she told me is the truth and telling me has something to do with who she is now.

 

OP, i read the thread, then the first couple again. While she may be telling the truth, the setting is odd to "come clean". and you are assuming this was 'sudden guilt'.

 

why is this not an attempt to mess with your head: "you were so stupid, she was messing around feet away". a/k/a i hated you from day 1 and still do.

[SawtoothMars]

Betraying trust will get you some of the biggest penalties/prison time available in the business world, ask any broker that has beached the trust of a shareholder or a realtor that has breached the trust of a purchaser. Try breaching the trust of a bank and see how they react, the fraud people will be all over you in a micro second. Things can be replaced, but when your partner in life chooses to change their alliance and is the one pushing the knife in your back it's undefendable. Your first reacting is disbelief your second reaction is what do you try and save first and all these decisions are being made while your in a state of shock. They on the other hand have had days, weeks, months, years to think about what to say if caught and may even have worked out a matching strategy with their affair partner, two against one.

The personal pain inflicted by infidelity/breaching of trust by a loved one is one of the worst pains for anyone to overcome and it takes the longest to heal from.

 

I really don't know what to say. My feelings on this are just all over the board. I really thought she was a better person than that. We had good times, we supported each other during some hard moments, and she is a large part of the reason I have become such a successful man. Had we met at 30 and not 18 things would have been very different... but then I would be different too.

 

I'm past the stage of being angry or bitter. She was my best friend in the world.... and she cut my heart out for an aged playboy. I don't know why, but the only feeling left towards this is sadness.