Depth of Deception, Is There Any Line To Great For A Wayward To Cross?

[BetrayedH]

Time for a DNA test.

 

To what end?

 

Please reply in the other thread I started so as not to hijack this one.

[aliveagain]

Man that's messed up. But **** your wife and her friend too. You don't have daughters with the cheating ex do you???

 

No and I thank God for that. I thought the affair child was mine but the DNA test took all doubt away. The test was professionally performed by the experts at the Children's Hospital, absolutely no chance of error.

[aliveagain]

aliveagain,

So sorry this has happened.

I occasionally have people want to "share" information on my ex years later. Some stories die hard. And it certainly doesn't make the hurt any less.

Hang in there!!!

This woman probably wanted to clear her conscience delayed though it be. Even considering she may stupidly have enabled, at least her morality is in the right direction. Like you said, she's made her way in life. Nothing to gain now.

Sometimes we just have to say "F**K IT" and go forward......

 

Sometime I'll share an ex story. Often so bizarre we hardly believe this $Hit from an otherwise intelligent woman.

 

As surreal and unbelievable as some of the posts on here are they do happen because here I am, you can't make this sh*t up. I hope when you are ready you are able to get your story out because it really does help just writing about it.

[aliveagain]

Was the purpose to hate your ex even more than you do? Because since you've split up and gone your separate ways, why else would she do it? Revenge?

 

I'd be so ashamed I ever participated in such deception, I would take that to my grave. She's just as bad, if not worse than your wife. Pure and utter wickedness on her part.

 

The three of them (your ex, OM and the friend ) are the lowest of the low.

 

Please don't judge all women as having morals in the gutter like your ex. That is absolutely not the case.

 

I have known where a man brought someone into the marital home to help look after their child and with housekeeping. Claimed it was a cousin of his, who needed the money and a place to stay. It would take the burden of his wife and reduce her stress.

 

Turns out she was no relative and he was sleeping with her all the time. Until one of the kids told mommy, xx was 'playing' with daddy on her bed.

 

Wife went into spy mode and caught them red handed when they thought she was as work.

 

That is just plain nasty, nothing surprises me anymore. Good people can't defend themselves when they love and trust the one betraying them, you just don't plan for that in your life.

[aliveagain]

Sorry to hear it, aliveagain.

 

It's funny, I've really felt recently that I've been letting go. I used to read and comment on every thread. Lately I find I'm just not interested. My posting is diminishing due to lack of interest. And I've considered it a darn good thing. My ex and I have been communicating just fine, the kids are good, life with my GF is good and life is on track.

 

But a few months back, I noticed a Facebook post where an old mutual friend was out with my exwife and a guy that my exwife had been friends with since HS. (My ex is blocked on FB but our mutual friend's photo still popped up on my feed). My exwife's family was tight with his family and we'd all even taken some vacations together. I always felt like he was a bit creepy - always single and had sporadic contact with my wife. I'd asked her if they'd ever been an item and she denied ever sleeping with the guy. I was a bit suspicious but never had any evidence of anything. He and I ended up being decent acquaintances.

 

So, I figured she has been quietly dating him. That seemed confirmed as the kids mentioned his presence more frequently. I was glad that I really didn't care. He can have her; good luck with that. Looking in hindsight, I can't help but wonder if he was a FWB for my wife throughout our marriage.

 

A couple weeks back, I arrived at exwife's house with the kids a few minutes early in the morning and they are standing next to his truck in her driveway. Of course, he made a quick exit without a word. It was 830am. At the time, it just kinda gave me a chuckle. He's probably expecting a right cross but at this point, I don't really care who she is sleeping with.

 

But then when I was dropping the kids off this week, the truck was in the driveway again. And she didn't immediately answer the door. My son finally used his code to open the garage but found the inside door locked. Finally, she came out, looking disheveled and claiming that we were early. As it turns out, she'd just forgotten the time change. She later sent a text apologizing (that she'd overslept).

 

Again, I really couldn't care who she dates. I've been dating for years now. And I've even briefly talked with the kids about him and we all just guessed that he's her boyfriend. I think they'll be fine (to the extent that's possible with this kind of business). But here's the kicker: it takes me all the way back to the first months after Dday when I wondered about the paternity of my kids. At the time, I tended to believe that the affair I discovered was probably her first and only. And as far as I was concerned, I was their Dad and didn't care to know otherwise; I'd never let them lose the only father they'd ever known. Now I do wonder if they might be this guy's children. There are some resemblances. The thought makes me want to vomit.

 

Four years from Dday and I thought I was good. So much for being over it. I'm kind of at a loss about it at this point. I don't obsess about it but I wonder if I should test their paternity. If he's actually the father and stays in their lives like this, it seems inevitable that it would eventually be disclosed. A part of me thinks that I should know that information in advance. But the thought of testing them makes me sick. My world revolves around my kids. I assume I could just get a strand of hair or something but jesus, what a step backwards. Ah, infidelity - the gift that keeps giving.

 

BH, no one wins in infidelity everyone gets hurt. My guess is your ex hates the idea that you have moved on, you have a woman who cares about you that you don't have to hide. She on the other hand is still sneaking creepy guys out of her house before you and the kids show up. I think she will always have a creepy guy sneaking out of her house. BH, you are way ahead of where you were, your ex is the biggest loser in all of this but it still hurts because you can never know what it could have been? Your children are so much better off with you in their life.

[SawtoothMars]

Ouch, how much do you want to bet the coworker was in on it?

 

They planned it together from the start. I'm sure she wanted to see how this guy would get on with her family. The blackout drinking was all my fault.

[aliveagain]

It amazes me the depth that some will go to carry off their lies. Things that took place during her affair that have come back to me as I respond to posts on this thread still amaze me.

 

There were many nights that I would be home with her two sons and the baby(who I thought was mine at that point) and she would be out until 4 am in the morning with her girlfriends. She would tell me that they stopped at a all night pizza restaurant to eat before coming home. Later I learned that she was with her O/M and to make her story believable she would stop at the all night pizza place, buy a pizza, throw most of it away and save 2 pieces to bring home for me. Now I think why didn't I look at the bill, I would have seen the time of purchase and it wouldn't have matched her story.

 

We all want to believe even when the doubts begin to creep in.

[merrmeade]

I will give you examples from my friends and extended family:

 

In a closet 3 feet away from his wife.

Upstairs with SIL while wife was downstairs

On couch while H is passed out on same couch.

In bathroom at party the couple hosted, husband 6ft away. (there were enablers)

In car in the garage at a hosted party, husband outside on porch. (there were enablers)

 

Worst yet, kids left with strangers or alone to be with OM, happened with 2 sets of couples.

 

Story here on LS that i can't get out of my head:

3-some a few feet away while husband is passed out on couch.

 

I could give more, infidelity and i know it is my mantra is "an addiction" some addicts chase the rush harder than others and some just flat out do anything for more. Your wife got a super rush from it and frankly so did the friend. I don't buy the guilt story. She told you out of spite with your ex as a result from the falling out.

 

Funny, i had a friend where she said that her cheating was "respectful" lmao!

Her claim is that because she never slept in the house or took time away from the husband and just work during her lunch break and the OM paid for everything and that she was always there when her H needed her, that somehow in a twisted world it was "more respectful" vs others.

 

I can tell you this, form my own story that that to put to you a question of degree in of what you could have forgiven. Had their never been a child, had the affair been a month and she ended it having never been in your home and then confessed, what would your reaction have been?

 

I know for me, all of the examples above equate to immediate divorce, no questions asked, "dropped kicked the hell out of my life" kind of response. I do think there is a degree to how far you can go to forgive as to reconcile as there is a limit to how far a wayward chases their addiction.

 

For those that enable, F them too, i don't know what is worse, the Wayward or those that get a rush in some twisted alternate voyeuristic sh*t from helping those cheat.

I absolutely LOVE this post from atreides. Love. It's vitriolic, judgmental, and almost out of control with outrage on OP's behalf. The actual content in the advice and reactions just so doesn't matter. The importance is enveloping aliveagain with acknowledgement and affirmation of his worth. He NEVER deserved this treatment or destiny, and being crazy angry with whoever has hurt him in these ways might give some degree of comfort.

 

Wording in titles of threads can say something more or different from an OP's initial post. And this one it seems to me is screaming OUTRAGE! Sometimes I think that's all we need at certain points — for someone to show crazy indignation on behalf of the BS. I remember too well the few times I got it how it helped me let go and grieve.

 

On the subject of whether the bf sounds believable, you can tally my vote for credible; HOWEVER, it's pretty meaningless what I or anyone else thinks. We weren't there and it's not the topic anyway. I think a case could be made for her need to be accountable, since she was asking for forgiveness, after all. But she may not have the capacity to anticipate what the information might have done to OP, so - though we'd like to - she can't be condemned for that. What good does it do to vilify her? It's just a detour.

 

Regardless of her motives, the result is an enormous trigger for OP which just plain sucks. Each new trickle of the truth is like stepping on a mine field that you knew might be there but are never ready for. Makes me so sad for all of us, but the way you're dealing with it is inspiring, aa. I like your assertion that writing helps; that's good, hopeful — definitely better than stasis in bed which was always my response to TT.

 

I hope you're getting what you need to put this behind you.

Godspeed on your journey to find new happiness.

You deserve it.

[ladydesigner]

I'm sorry you were triggered by this. Although it does not surprise me. My WH's AP was his co-worker so there were many times I had contact with her and my kids without knowing about the A. Everyone in my WH's business knew but me.

 

I think if there is a line to cross they'll cross it. Not all WS's but I would say most. I believe the WS's that cross the line the way yours did have extreme personality disorders.

[SycamoreCircle]

It amazes me the depth that some will go to carry off their lies. Things that took place during her affair that have come back to me as I respond to posts on this thread still amaze me.

 

There were many nights that I would be home with her two sons and the baby(who I thought was mine at that point) and she would be out until 4 am in the morning with her girlfriends. She would tell me that they stopped at a all night pizza restaurant to eat before coming home. Later I learned that she was with her O/M and to make her story believable she would stop at the all night pizza place, buy a pizza, throw most of it away and save 2 pieces to bring home for me. Now I think why didn't I look at the bill, I would have seen the time of purchase and it wouldn't have matched her story.

 

We all want to believe even when the doubts begin to creep in.

I feel like Hollywood has really skimped us on films about affairs. Nothing in the movies compares to some of the stuff I read on LoveShack. Maybe they're worried that the genre would cross over into Sci-fi. The only one that comes to mind that seems as disturbing and stranger-than-fiction is that old Louis Malle film with Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche, Damage.

[aliveagain]

I absolutely LOVE this post from atreides. Love. It's vitriolic, judgmental, and almost out of control with outrage on OP's behalf. The actual content in the advice and reactions just so doesn't matter. The importance is enveloping aliveagain with acknowledgement and affirmation of his worth. He NEVER deserved this treatment or destiny, and being crazy angry with whoever has hurt him in these ways might give some degree of comfort.

 

Wording in titles of threads can say something more or different from an OP's initial post. And this one it seems to me is screaming OUTRAGE! Sometimes I think that's all we need at certain points — for someone to show crazy indignation on behalf of the BS. I remember too well the few times I got it how it helped me let go and grieve.

 

On the subject of whether the bf sounds believable, you can tally my vote for credible; HOWEVER, it's pretty meaningless what I or anyone else thinks. We weren't there and it's not the topic anyway. I think a case could be made for her need to be accountable, since she was asking for forgiveness, after all. But she may not have the capacity to anticipate what the information might have done to OP, so - though we'd like to - she can't be condemned for that. What good does it do to vilify her? It's just a detour.

 

Regardless of her motives, the result is an enormous trigger for OP which just plain sucks. Each new trickle of the truth is like stepping on a mine field that you knew might be there but are never ready for. Makes me so sad for all of us, but the way you're dealing with it is inspiring, aa. I like your assertion that writing helps; that's good, hopeful — definitely better than stasis in bed which was always my response to TT.

 

I hope you're getting what you need to put this behind you.

Godspeed on your journey to find new happiness.

You deserve it.

 

You absolutely nailed it, no matter how much time has passed and no matter how much you think you have distanced yourself from infidelity it can nail you square in the face when you least expect it. There is no way to prepare yourself for it because your hardly believing that your feeling whole again, it took years to get to this place. So how does a ghost just step back into the forefront so easily? It just doesn't seem fair that the same hurt can come back because of new information.

[merrmeade]

I feel like Hollywood has really skimped us on films about affairs. Nothing in the movies compares to some of the stuff I read on LoveShack. Maybe they're worried that the genre would cross over into Sci-fi. The only one that comes to mind that seems as disturbing and stranger-than-fiction is that old Louis Malle film with Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche, Damage.

I think about that movie all the time. Just about the most disturbing movie I've ever seen. And that was before I'd experienced my own 'damage' and subsequently learned so much about the subject.

[Lion Heart]

Recently I ran into someone at a business function that was a friend of both myself and my ex. I have not spoken to her in almost 6 years as she was more a friend of my ex than myself. It appears that my ex betrayed her in some fashion and they had a falling out. I have never posted my story but the Readers Digest version is we were together just over 4 years, almost five, the last year she left for 6 months after discovery so I can't really call it being together. She cheated for two of those years and an affair child was born in year 4. A friend of hers ratted her out to me and a DNA test proved without a shadow of a doubt that my son who I had named after my deceased father and raised for the first year of his life was not mine. Did the lawyer thing, removed her from my life, complete 180, to this day I remain unlisted/published so she can never find me again(believe me she continues to try).

 

Fast forward to my business function that took place in the last 10 days. This former friend decides to come clean with information that absolutely floored me, information she knew but never told me because of her friendship with my ex. She started off by telling me how sorry she was for withholding information from me, she has felt guilty for years and always intended on telling me at some point because I was such an amazing guy and didn't deserve what my ex did to me. I did my best to tell her it took a lot of time but I eventually moved on and could care less about anything my ex is up to now. She than goes on to tell me that the few times she came to my home with this one boyfriend(3 times I can remember) for dinner that he was not her boyfriend but he was actually other man pretending to be her date. She said that while I was preparing the meal my ex and other man were fooling around in our house while she covered for them(pretending to be playing pool).

 

I actually fed and wined the piece of sh*t 3 times in my home thinking he was with her. I told her that I hope she can forgive herself for her participation and that the whole experience taught me so much about trust and people. I told her that and my ex is out of my life permanently and thanked her for finally being honest. Fu*k her. Even though that nasty bit*h is out of my life sh*t like this still hurts because others knew about it. I think of the laughs they must of had pulling that over on me, fwak. How can some people live with themselves?

 

I apologize to the waywards I may have been a little hard on this site but it was because of sh*t like this that gets me personally involved when reading other posts even when I try to be neutral and objective. Really, how do you cheat on someone you love? How do you do something like this to another human being? How can you justify being that person?

 

I have been struggling with this news for the last week and a half and it's like it just happened all over again even though I have dealt with her and she is out of my life forever. You can never be friends again and that is a fact and waywards that still believe that are smoking something special.

 

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How deceptive was your ex or soon to be ex?

 

Aliveagain, what a horrible story. What your ex did is one of those that takes the cake - making you believe you were the father of OM child. I am very sorry this happened. That ex is one he** of a crazy b. Tormenting, ridiculing, cruel.

 

IN YOUR PAST THANK EVERYTHING!

 

My father always called me an optomist. I prefer to call myself a pessimistic optomist! You can practice this. KNOW this bad person came into your life and f***ed you around FOR A WHILE.

5y. Let's hope that's 5% of your life.

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT side of it - SHE'S OUT OF IT.

 

This person who came to confession on you. Did just that. Made herself feel better by offloading. Even now, had NO REGARD AT ALL to how it would make you trigger.

 

That's what's happened. You've triggered. Are there techniques you have used in your past to deal with triggers?

 

My triggers disappeared after I left previous WSs.

 

I'd get in to see a VERY GOOD IC. I know it's ok to feel hurt over crap but I can see your frustration now over something WAY back in your past. That's ok too if it's ok with YOU.

 

YOU can find anyway you can to deal. You absolutely must. It's imperative for you to heal from SOME ONE ELSES FOOLISH AND CRUEL CHOICES. They were not your choices! Why still own any part of it?

 

My wise cousin once said to me "why let anyone else live in your head..... RENT FREE!" Your head is a precious place.

Guard your thought processes about this. Is it cognitive behavior therapy that does this? Not sure. Whatever it is - GO GET IT AND BE DONE!!!

 

 

A number of things came to mind when you asked if this type of thing happened to others

My most recent D Day was 12w 3d ago. A neighbour did some things that were unbelievable on that day. Absolutely unbelievable. Won't go in to detail. BUT 8w later while I was in a shopping centre miles away, i was sitting quietly and purposely putting a bubble of peace all around me and my sleeping baby grandson (I'd not been able to put him to sleep for all that time - he sensed my disturbance). This neihhbours W came up and invaded my personal space and went head long into telling me off! Wtf???? I said and repeated, "you are disturbing my peace". "Can you see my sleeping grandson? You are etc". 3 times while she spoke over me. I held up my hand and said "GO AWAY" 3x too. Boy did I trigger after that. Shaking and knees trembling.

 

IS NOWHERE SAFE?

 

Mentally I shield the world at this time. While I'm feeling vulnerable. My respectful friends are in my inner circle. My children. That's it. Not everyone's my enemy but there are far more narcissists than just the cheaters in this world. My neighbour's wife for example. That cruel woman who ranted bs to you. We need to put people like that behind a 3ft thick concrete wall in our minds & if they pop thru the cracks from time to time, throw them back over the wall.

 

They are just not worth taking up 1 cell of our precious brain matter.

 

You will get there. It's gonna take more hard work & a deliberate, concerted effort.

 

Lion Heart.

[sinatraverdi]

aliveagain:

 

based on what you said, the entire old crowd you used to hang out with sounds disreputable. Your ex and all those "friends." You sound like a smart guy. Surely you had clues as.to the character of them and your ex even if you didnt know about the cheating itself.

[Lion Heart]

She tries after 6 years? She must be really desperate.

 

Some people only know a "good thing" after they lost it. Then ventured the world, thought you were a "great thing" they lost then venture the world some more and realise you were the BEST thing they ever had. Mix this with the Narcissist they are to think YOU MISS THEM and yeah, they try again.. and again...

It's cray cray!

 

20y later my first H was still contacting me. Many changes of address and numbers, he still found ways. In the end (I hope, though he's asked to come to my Year's school reunion this year - not his) I just said "The ONLY reason I can think you're contacting me is that you're into pyramid selling". Hopefully that's done it - probably not.

 

A LTR involving his infidelity found me 10y after the break up. Massive detective work on his behalf, flew interstate to surprise me with flowers at my work and take me out for a romantic lunch. He told me he was married and his W had just had their 2nd baby. Woah. I asked for his phone numbers at work and home (14h away). He got excited. I ended the lunch and said "The very NEXT TIME you contact me in ANY WAY whatsoever, I will phone your wife and tell her everything". Look at the hand.

That poor BW. The things he said about her. Still unsure if I did the right thing by NOT telling her.

 

Anyhow they do. They hold on and no matter what, they're still crazy.

 

Be glad they're gone.

 

Lion Heart.

[AlwaysGrowing]

I think if you were to tap into your feelings about this new information, it would be more disgust than anger.

 

I think you will find that you will process this much more quickly than you think.

[SycamoreCircle]

Alive, how do you interpret the behavior of your ex back when the two of you were together and there was no infidelity? Do you feel sometimes that that was a period in her life where she was trying on adulthood? Do you feel she found her way into something she just was not emotionally suited for? How do you understand that segment of time?

 

Do you think she will ever be something other than the sneaking, conniving person you describe? If you had to predict what will become of her, what do you foresee?

[aliveagain]

I think if you were to tap into your feelings about this new information, it would be more disgust than anger.

 

I think you will find that you will process this much more quickly than you think.

 

AlwaysGrowing I guess it could of been way worse, I could of still been with her when I was told. I wonder how many others have had someone as deceitful in their life.

 

sinatraverdi, ya, there were red flags. All her friends came as part of the package and they all covered for each other. They all went as part of the package too, not one of them is a friend now and I don't hang out in the same circles.

[HurtOfGlass]

It's funny that you said that, HurtOfGlass. You should look at the mirror first because you aren't even married yet and you are already a cockold.

 

Yes, on strict meaning from dictionary I WAS a cuckold. I won't deny that.

 

But it one thing to be blindsided but another thing to beg and plead even when the truth is on your face. And I was a million mile away from being such a man.

 

Even now I have not committed anything to my EX. And I will not till I feel that the situation has become viable for a resumption of the relationship.

[aliveagain]

Alive, how do you interpret the behavior of your ex back when the two of you were together and there was no infidelity? Do you feel sometimes that that was a period in her life where she was trying on adulthood? Do you feel she found her way into something she just was not emotionally suited for? How do you understand that segment of time?

 

Do you think she will ever be something other than the sneaking, conniving person you describe? If you had to predict what will become of her, what do you foresee?

 

Other than doing what she needed to get her son back I don't think much has changed for her. She attempted to get our old nanny to friend me on facebook, I refused her and blocked her but gave her an email she could write me and I would explain why. She did email and told me everything that has happened, they live about 1500 miles apart now but stay in touch. The ex has burned through one relationship after another, all have failed. Apparently the guy she and affair child now lives with owns a bunch of food and concession stands that travel all over the States and Canada with a huge travelling not a circus but more of a carnival with rides, gaming and food places. I think you call it a midway. Kind of blew my mind because this girl is all about shopping, best restaurants, clubs, hot cars and big houses.

 

About two months after I refused a friend request from the nanny the ex sends her own friend request which I did not respond to and immediately blocked. That was just over a year ago. I will never let her in my life again, this is why I remain unlisted and live in the country outside a major city.

[Be_Strong]

Sorry for thread jack but I think you are one of most weak willed people. You took your wife back even after this? And after the fact that she was crying for her ex-AP and it was you who consoled her?

 

Damn me, if I ever become such a husband! I wouldn't even cry injustice because it was me that brought this HUMILIATION upon myself.

Let's face it. Simple cheating all on its own is a horrible and humiliating betrayal. I would never criticize a person for immediately ending a relationship upon learning of the cheating and not giving the WS a second chance. In fact, after everything I've been through I'm sure I would encourage most people to cut and run after a Dday.

 

I don't really understand the people who say "I could reconcile if my spouse did X but never Y." Trust me, if you can get past the cheating, you can get past anything else. It's all equally horrible. In a later post in this thread you infer that I had begged and pleaded for my wife. That never happened. But I will say that any person who wants to make a go at reconciliation has to be willing to take a huge dose of humiliation. It just runs with the territory.

 

I've never told my full story here, but maybe I should soon.

[Noirek]

Let's face it. Simple cheating all on its own is a horrible and humiliating betrayal. I would never criticize a person for immediately ending a relationship upon learning of the cheating and not giving the WS a second chance. In fact, after everything I've been through I'm sure I would encourage most people to cut and run after a Dday.

 

I don't really understand the people who say "I could reconcile if my spouse did X but never Y." Trust me, if you can get past the cheating, you can get past anything else. It's all equally horrible. In a later post in this thread you infer that I had begged and pleaded for my wife. That never happened. But I will say that any person who wants to make a go at reconciliation has to be willing to take a huge dose of humiliation. It just runs with the territory.

 

I've never told my full story here, but maybe I should soon.

 

I think it is very easy to understand the straw that broke the camel's back. For some people cheating hurts but looks like it can be overcome. But if they find out the affair went on for as long as the marriage or that the child was passed off as theirs when it was not. Maybe they find out the AP met and hung out with the children or was their brother. Pain may be pain but it is very easy to understand why the bottom cheating could be forgiven by someone but the devil was in the details. For some cheating may be too much but for someone else the marriage bed being violated may be too much. Can you see that?

[Noirek]

I feel sorry for the child. He will have a lot of adversaries to face should he turn out to be a decent person. I'm sorry OP you learned this but I do think the child deception was worse. This probably just is that thing where you wonder how you could have trusted her. But this is all on her.

[aliveagain]

I feel sorry for the child. He will have a lot of adversaries to face should he turn out to be a decent person. I'm sorry OP you learned this but I do think the child deception was worse. This probably just is that thing where you wonder how you could have trusted her. But this is all on her.

 

I loved that child, my first son or so I thought. I named him after the man I respected most in my life, my father who had passed away 3 years earlier. I would often lay him in my bed, just the two of us while his mother was out with her friends. I put up with this because she had just given me a son and I knew the pregnancy was hard on her, she deserved some freedom and I completely trusted her. What a fool I was. I think I cried more for his loss then loosing her. I lost a lot when I finally learned the truth. He is completely innocent but I had to let him go because I couldn't have her and other man in my life anymore. Other man had more rights to him than I did.

[Lion Heart]

I loved that child, my first son or so I thought. I named him after the man I respected most in my life, my father who had passed away 3 years earlier. I would often lay him in my bed, just the two of us while his mother was out with her friends. I put up with this because she had just given me a son and I knew the pregnancy was hard on her, she deserved some freedom and I completely trusted her. What a fool I was. I think I cried more for his loss then loosing her. I lost a lot when I finally learned the truth. He is completely innocent but I had to let him go because I couldn't have her and other man in my life anymore. Other man had more rights to him than I did.

 

Aliveagain,

 

That is just the saddest thing I've read on ls. I cannot even imagine the feeling of deeper betrayal than I have felt and yours IS SO MUCH deeper. I am certain many others have felt deeper betrayal. I can only empathise with betrayal NOT THIS DEPTH.

 

This must be the reason why it's so hard for you to overcome.

But it's YOUR life. YOU need your life back!

 

You were a victim - past tense. Finding a way out of these feelings then safe guarding yourself against re-triggering is paramount to your recovery right now.

 

It doesn't matter how long ago an event occurred in a person's life, getting help to heal is exactly what you're doing here. This new event brought it all back up.

 

It was a random event in some cases but another event may trigger you later. It's safe guarding yourself for any future events that is important for your life NOW.

 

We only have today. This moment. I hope you can put the bubble of peace around you then make it SO STRONG that nothing from that era can penetrate it ever again.

 

Yes it's all betrayal and deceit but because yours is so much more shocking and deep, I'm not sure how you'd do it without expert help.

 

Best wishes

 

Lion Heart.