NJ123 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 If a man isn't picky he'll be able to get a gf quite easily. BUT men are very picky too Perhaps, but OLD is much easier for women. The average woman on there probably gets 75-100 messages a week on average. The average guy would be lucky to get 2 or 3 a week if that. Women just have to sit back & let the guys message them & then go through them & see if any of them interest them. At least 5-10% of them should be decent. A guy who messages a woman on there has competition from literally dozens of other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DukeNukem47 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 So, what separates you is attractiveness, a quality unique to each of us and gender independent. What's interesting is that, in the realm of attractiveness, little, in general, seems to have changed over time regarding what the genders find attractive about each other. The social milieu may have evolved and socio-economics may be more equal these days, but attraction dynamics have remained remarkably static. Because, if they do, that's how they feel, and that pretty much says it all. Just for the sake of argument, this particular woman WAS attracted to me (I've actually heard that the reason she didn't date was because she wanted me to make a move on her), but I wasn't interested in her due to aspects of her personality that I didn't like. In any event, the whole situation made me think about how privileged women are and many don't realize it. Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 These types of responses are really amusing to me. The bottom line is this: the average man have to put FAR more time and effort (whether you consider it work or not) into dating than the average woman. Men have to actually put work into creating social circles (women don't, they're usually provided on the basis that they are a woman). Most men will not be successful online (and if they are, they still need to send out messages, keep the girl interested, etc). Men need to make the approaches in bars/clubs. Men need to plan and pay for the dates. Women just sit there and wait for things to come to them. Sure, you have all of this "But I could get RAPED!" talk. Seriously? That's not something that happens often and won't happen as long as the woman doesn't put herself in an obviously bad situation. You sir need to educate yourself and stop contributing the problem. 1 in five women have been raped in their life. That's not very many. Rape is a real and very present threat. Your last paragraph is victim blaming. Rapists don't wear a sign. Nor do they always look or act the part. It is a sad truth to this world. And it is why less women sign up to dating sites. That is a big factor in the male female ratio. But go on being a bitter person with a tendency to mysoginists views. That attitude will protect women from ending up with you. At least the good ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DukeNukem47 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Perhaps, but OLD is much easier for women. The average woman on there probably gets 75-100 messages a week on average. The average guy would be lucky to get 2 or 3 a week if that. Women just have to sit back & let the guys message them & then go through them & see if any of them interest them. At least 5-10% of them should be decent. A guy who messages a woman on there has competition from literally dozens of other guys. This is my point exactly. ANY woman could just jump on OLD and basically have her selection of willing, successful, good-looking men. So if she is having difficulty IRL, all she needs to do is jump online, receive a million messages and choose one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Just for the sake of argument, this particular woman WAS attracted to me (I've actually heard that the reason she didn't date was because she wanted me to make a move on her), but I wasn't interested in her due to aspects of her personality that I didn't like. In any event, the whole situation made me think about how privileged women are and many don't realize it. the only thing women have different than guys is the pile of crap and good stuff is bigger to sort through. You call that easier. Most people who are objective and not so whiney just see it as different. Have you ever thought about maybe working on yourself and NOT doing the online dating thing? Like moving somewhere new? Joining a hobby that actually has a female population in it but you find interesting? Forming friendships with the opposite sex? Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 My GF grouted the bathroom today. And a fine job too. Thank god for equality. Got a few doors that need rehanging as well. But seriously, maybe this is connected mostly to online dating? Which i`ve never done. (so i can`t have much of an opinion) A good social situation in a pub, being half cut may be better? Works for me. (Usually) I wish it were that easy buddy! I'm 46 almost so much as I love gigs etc I also am a 'lady' because I don't want to be that woman who is middle aged and in the pub all the time. That's is tacky at my age and I would be lame and unable to drink enough to keep going! Ha! Plus, there are no men of my age in those pubs. They stay in, online. The younger guys go out, the older ones do too. They stand in huddles with their pints like meerkats. Haydn..I know you have seen this..!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 This is my point exactly. ANY woman could just jump on OLD and basically have her selection of willing, successful, good-looking men. So if she is having difficulty IRL, all she needs to do is jump online, receive a million messages and choose one of them. lol @ the bolded. Now that's funny. You need to wake up to the real world. If I were to gauge the average OLD crowd by what I see in person, I am in the top 10% of males at the worse and I got some belly fat on me that I am trying to lose I don't blame women that has some value not to have some standards and avoid that OLD cesspool. The number of males I have seen that is fat enough to literally be called a land whale is disturbing, to say the least. No wonder the motor carts at Walmart is barely functioning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 This is my point exactly. ANY woman could just jump on OLD and basically have her selection of willing, successful, good-looking men. So if she is having difficulty IRL, all she needs to do is jump online, receive a million messages and choose one of them. My experience was vastly different. Not too many succesful guys were on there. Mostly just jerks, social akward people, fabricators, mysoginists, and whiners. The few that weren't that way did not find me hot enough. Which was there freedom of choice. Just like it was mine not to date guys who sent me gross unsolicited photos. But you really like being right. And don't want to see where there are decprepencies to your POV. Attitude IS everything. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I read through the bolded a few times. My reading comprehension is generally good but I can't understand how women are at an advantage in this case. Simple... They are at an advantage because they dont have to settle for some out of shape, broke, whining shlub....They have options the others dont have,,, TFY ' Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 You sir need to educate yourself and stop contributing the problem. 1 in five women have been raped in their life. That's not very many. Rape is a real and very present threat. Your last paragraph is victim blaming. Rapists don't wear a sign. Nor do they always look or act the part. It is a sad truth to this world. And it is why less women sign up to dating sites. That is a big factor in the male female ratio. But go on being a bitter person with a tendency to mysoginists views. That attitude will protect women from ending up with you. At least the good ones. Takes deep breath. One time only post. I was raped as a virgin by my work colleague's bf on the way home from seeing a comedy show. She was poorly so he dropped her off first. I was 18. My mum passed away just 3 months before this happened when I was 17. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DukeNukem47 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Here's another good example: There's a relatively new woman at my job who works in a different department. I asked her out to lunch during the day. She accepted and we had an okay time. Then I asked her out to a formal dinner. She declined saying that she would be out of town (sounded like BS) and that she would prefer to hang out in a group setting (obvious rejection). Another friend in the office invited me to a bonfire. Lo-and-behold, she was there AND she was staring at me constantly and flirty with me. The nerve! There were also a TON of men there with very few females. It's clear that this woman rejected me to do a ton of options. After that, I lost interest, but have been coming by her office and flirting with her (on my daily rounds of throughout my office, where I catch up with male employees and flirt with the attractive female employees). She seems to be developing interest in me as I show her more attention, but it's purely academic for me at this point (I'm not interested anymore). But you see? She rejected me initially due to her many options, but is likely coming around now because her primary option(s) likely didn't work out. And you also see how much effort this is on my part just for the opportunity to take her out on a date one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 (edited) I am sorry. And I noticed my post said that is not very many. It meant to say that is not very few in light to the OPs dismissal of the very real threat of rape. Edited March 1, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed quoted text 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hey! Yep, you are in trouble. Won't necessarily kill you but, maybe I can arrange the NJ chapter of the club to stop on over for a chat! --From Ohio, with an attractive Ohio Woman,and damned proud of it! (Yawn...) So maybe you wound up with one of the seven attractive women there...Good for you, man... But really Attractiveness varies by locale...Go to NYC and tell me there are just as many good looking women strolling around Columbus..No way..Not even close..The women around here are very conscious about how they look ....more so than in many other areas. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Here's another good example: There's a relatively new woman at my job who works in a different department. I asked her out to lunch during the day. She accepted and we had an okay time. Then I asked her out to a formal dinner. She declined saying that she would be out of town (sounded like BS) and that she would prefer to hang out in a group setting (obvious rejection). Another friend in the office invited me to a bonfire. Lo-and-behold, she was there AND she was staring at me constantly and flirty with me. The nerve! There were also a TON of men there with very few females. It's clear that this woman rejected me to do a ton of options. After that, I lost interest, but have been coming by her office and flirting with her (on my daily rounds of throughout my office, where I catch up with male employees and flirt with the attractive female employees). She seems to be developing interest in me as I show her more attention, but it's purely academic for me at this point (I'm not interested anymore). But you see? She rejected me initially due to her many options, but is likely coming around now because her primary option(s) likely didn't work out. And you also see how much effort this is on my part just for the opportunity to take her out on a date one day. Maybe she wanted to see you from a real perspective before dating. I know I didn't go out with my now husband the first dozen times he asked. It wasn't to play hard or play games of anytype. But because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be dating at that time. And I had no other options... Now you have nothing to rant and complain about. The only person who is making dating harder for you, is yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I wish it were that easy buddy! I'm 46 almost so much as I love gigs etc I also am a 'lady' because I don't want to be that woman who is middle aged and in the pub all the time. That's is tacky at my age and I would be lame and unable to drink enough to keep going! Ha! Plus, there are no men of my age in those pubs. They stay in, online. The younger guys go out, the older ones do too. They stand in huddles with their pints like meerkats. Haydn..I know you have seen this..!! A friend dragged me to the pub yesterday afternoon to watch the rugby. "There'll be lots of men" she said. No there weren't. There were lots of groups of women wearing rugby shirts sitting at the front hooting and clapping at the game, while the men hid away in the shadows at the back of the pub. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Women just sit there and wait for things to come to them. You know what happens when I wait for things to come to me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing happens. I have to put in effort to make things happen. I approach. I send messages on OLD. I go through the rejections. Absolutely nothing gets handed to me. I work for things. And even then, when I work, I often don't get any results. That's life! I don't necessarily like it, but I just keep on going. I 100% acknowledge the in the majority of cases men have a harder time finding options. That doesn't mean it will always be that way for every person, and it would be nice if you were able to acknowledge that some women don't get things handed to them, that some women have to put in just as much time and effort as men do. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Maybe she wanted to see you from a real perspective before dating. I know I didn't go out with my now husband the first dozen times he asked. It wasn't to play hard or play games of anytype. But because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be dating at that time. And I had no other options... Now you have nothing to rant and complain about. The only person who is making dating harder for you, is yourself. Did he legitimately ask you out a dozen times? That's astounding! I'm amazed that a man would take rejection that many times and still keep trying. It boggles my mind! Link to post Share on other sites
NGC1300 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I would say women's biggest advantage is they don't have the same pressure to Have great social skills, be outgoing, and interesting/funny like males do. Being boring or socially awkward buries you as a young man Exactly. A socially awkward woman is "cute". A socially awkward male is ridiculed and viewed with disdain. F this world. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Women don't understand the sting of rejection. Yeah, plenty of us really do. I've lost count of how many times I've been rejected. Gotta just regroup and move past that sting. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Simple... They are at an advantage because they dont have to settle for some out of shape, broke, whining shlub....They have options the others dont have,,, TFY ' If the desirable men don't exist (or at least not in the same number as desirable women), then those options are only hypothetical. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I wish it were that easy buddy! I'm 46 almost so much as I love gigs etc I also am a 'lady' because I don't want to be that woman who is middle aged and in the pub all the time. That's is tacky at my age and I would be lame and unable to drink enough to keep going! Ha! Plus, there are no men of my age in those pubs. They stay in, online. The younger guys go out, the older ones do too. They stand in huddles with their pints like meerkats. Haydn..I know you have seen this..!! Well it depends on the pub. Ladbroke Grove can be slightly different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 ANY woman could just jump on OLD and basically have her selection of willing, successful, good-looking men. So if she is having difficulty IRL, all she needs to do is jump online, receive a million messages and choose one of them. From this thread, it sounds like you would like to be a woman, and you envy what you perceive women having, including a run at all these "willing, successful, good-looking men." You seem to think that there are very few good women, but an unending number of attractive men. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is possible to make this dream of dating men come true, in one of two ways. Staying as you are and choosing to have relationships with men, or choosing to change yourself into a woman and dating men in that way where you can really embrace what you see as the "female role." I'm very serious about this. A number of guys here do not seem to like women at all, and seem to really be into men. Well, why fight it? Choose men! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Did he legitimately ask you out a dozen times? That's astounding! I'm amazed that a man would take rejection that many times and still keep trying. It boggles my mind! Well, i wasn't rude. I'd have to count the actual times. I'll get back to you on that. But he asked me out three times the first day we met. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Well, i wasn't rude. I'd have to count the actual times. I'll get back to you on that. But he asked me out three times the first day we met. Wow! That's intense! Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 That's why I created this thread: to facilitate discussion. No you created it because you blame women for the problems that actually originate in your mirror. It is the same reason every thread of this type is created. Poor me...women owe me a date and their panties. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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