LookAtThisPOst Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 That guy was a moron though. How can anyone receive a job offer 1 year BEFORE graduating? Did you even interview? Most jobs that require degree expect you to have one PRIOR to the interview. I had an interviewer look at me strange when I say, "I graduate in 2 months" when he knew the job required a degree...and I technically didn't have one at that very moment. I guess he thought it to be equivalent to "checks in the mail!" lol
lino Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Welcome to everyday life for a man When guys with 'not good enough jobs (read: high enough status/paying ones)' come on here saying women reject them because they aren't earning enough money or aren't high status enough, they get told to go/go back to university, so I guess the same applies here.
lino Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 By the way, the above post isn't how I think at all. I'd happily date someone in your position. For me a person is not defined by their job. However I feel I do need to point out the highly hypocritical advice often spat out on here to struggling guys. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 However I feel I do need to point out the highly hypocritical advice often spat out on here to struggling guys. Amen to that, the OP sounds rather intelliegent and open minded enough for me to even date. She's DONE the corporate thing...to me, the past says something about her. That she was, past tense, able to do well in such a great job. She should be reverred. In fact, I HAVE seen dating profiles of women VOLUNTARILY quitting their career-focused job to something much more simpler in order to have time to date and settle down. Usually, they would say, "I've done the corporate thing, and now I'm done with it" and this is usually by their late 30's or early 40s. TO me, it's like a bucket list checked off. Not something you should spend a life time doing. 1
Macattack Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Oh yeah I've been there. I dated someone who thought I wasn't good enough because I was going back to grad school instead of entering the corporate world. Secretly I knew he was comparing me to his ex who was a young successful professional at a multinational company. To him, I was just some fresh face college grad who didn't know what to do with her life. Little did he know, I am now about to be done with grad school and received a job offer 1 year before I graduated at a prestigious firm, living in a big city, and will be making much more than him. Haaa I sure showed him and you will show these guys that rejected you as well. Use it as motivation to kick ass at life!! Women do the same crap, nothing new.
Macattack Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 lol well that depends on a lot of things. You just have to be 110% sure that the woman you're with is the right person to marry. There is no much thing as 100% in relationships.
elaine567 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 I never encounter this problem. I am a podiatry student full time at college. I work in a podiatry style shoe store part time. I date professional and accomplished men. I also date blue collar men. I don't put a limit as to who I do or do not date solely based on their professional back ground; no man has flinched at the fact I'm " only " a 28 year old podiatry student who works in a specially shoe store part time. They all know I'll be on a decent income in three years and that I've chosen a career that pays well and has ample progression AND also gets new grads jobs very easily. No man seems to think " oh dear, Leigh 87 no longer has a full time job, she is surely going to be some sort of money draining hazard that should best be avoided " I have no idea where the OP is meeting these men. I have seriously never had a guy dump me or lose interest in me based on the fact I'm a mere student who only opts to work part time in a related field to my degree. Yes but you at the moment are someone who is viewed as having "potential". If you had graduated and you couldn't find a job in podiatry and were working in menial jobs for the past 7 years, then where is the "potential"? That is what the OP is facing, not her income per se nor the fact she is working 4 part time jobs. She could be scraping a living/barely existing, in her own business or going to law school or working for a charity, and that would probably be viewed better, than living adequately or well from a series of dead end jobs. The implication is dead end job=dead end person, and that is the attitude that those men are voicing, and there's the rub because the OP does not come across like that at all. 4
Moy Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Wow, more fool me for thinking at as long as somebody earned enough to keep the wolves from the door, then that was ok! Doesn't anybody pay any attention to the economic situation that we all face since the crash of 2008? Money talks and BS walks! We're all making ends meet in one way or another. After reading through this thread, taking somebody out isn't enough now? The money to pay for that romantic meal has to be earned 'prestigiously?' "I'm very sorry, sir. The establishment does not accept blue collar card transactions." Get outta here with that BS! *shakes head and leaves thread* 2
clevelander321 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 At the end of the day, I think some people misplace blame for lack of dating success. If a woman is unsuccessful in dating but has a high paying career, she attributes it to men not being able to handle her, and men are too weak to be around a powerful woman. Often times she is just not nice. If a woman is unsuccessful at dating with no career she claims men want a woman who pays half, so men are shallow. often times she is just not nice or completely lacks confidence. Some women blame demographics, and claim there are too many single women where they live. There are lots of possible excuses. As others have stated, men are not very picky when it comes to a woman's career. Having said that, still having one job would be nice, or maybe 2. If you have 4 it seems to be a bit complicated/scattered/disorganized. Especially if 2 weekends out of the month are consumed and you are not making much to show for it. It's always much easier to blame others and external factors for lack of success in work/dating/love/career, etc.
Macattack Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Wow, more fool me for thinking at as long as somebody earned enough to keep the wolves from the door, then that was ok! Doesn't anybody pay any attention to the economic situation that we all face since the crash of 2008? Money talks and BS walks! We're all making ends meet in one way or another. After reading through this thread, taking somebody out isn't enough now? The money to pay for that romantic meal has to be earned 'prestigiously?' "I'm very sorry, sir. The establishment does not accept blue collar card transactions." Get outta here with that BS! *shakes head and leaves thread* Why should men when many women won't date down?
Moy Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Why should men when many women won't date down? That's their fault.
Sarabi Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 If you had graduated and you couldn't find a job in podiatry and were working in menial jobs for the past 7 years, then where is the "potential"? The implication is dead end job=dead end person, and that is the attitude that those men are voicing, and there's the rub because the OP does not come across like that at all. Hmmmm...the bolded is currently me to a T. Except the podiatry thing. I did go back and study more...all to no avail. It has been two years since that graduation... I feel sad for the OP she reminds me of a lady I work with who was a manager at some other IT company and got made redundant. She takes all the overtime she can bear to because she had a mortgage to pay. Its not always our fault that we apply and can't get out of our dead-end jobs I don't understand the world. Where I work(which is a seriously low end, soul destroying area as well as a low end job), there are men marrying and/or copulating and populating with girls who have no ambition other than to claim benefits and either never work or constantly call in sick to work. Anyway. Like all graduates who cannot find work, I think I will go into some type of teaching (not secondary though, ugh, ghastly, disrespectful kids)...I took a TEFL course...so hope to travel and teach maybe sometime later on in the year. 1
Sarabi Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Why should men when many women won't date down? This might sound silly but I thought this was essentially the natural order of the world? I thought men can't marry a woman who has "more" than them(money, intelligence etc.). Or have a successful relationship at least, the woman either has to be equal or slightly less than. I thought it was all to do with emasculation...a guy at work said he wouldn't want to date a particular colleague because she has a masters but he only has a bachelors and I think he would feel inadequate compared to her... but am not sure...
Macattack Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 This might sound silly but I thought this was essentially the natural order of the world? I thought men can't marry a woman who has "more" than them(money, intelligence etc.). Or have a successful relationship at least, the woman either has to be equal or slightly less than. I thought it was all to do with emasculation...a guy at work said he wouldn't want to date a particular colleague because she has a masters but he only has a bachelors and I think he would feel inadequate compared to her... but am not sure... Sorry but that's a weak excuse. My cousin made more money than her hubby did.
Macattack Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 That's their fault. What? I really don't have a clue what you mean mr white knight.
Sarabi Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Sorry but that's a weak excuse. My cousin made more money than her hubby did. Only repeating what people have told me about supposedly successful relationships. I have never been in the situation myself... I know there are women out there who are breadwinners in their families
elaine567 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I don't understand the world. Where I work(which is a seriously low end, soul destroying area as well as a low end job), there are men marrying and/or copulating and populating with girls who have no ambition other than to claim benefits and either never work or constantly call in sick to work. Yes, but they do not have the advantage of a degree, so if you didn't have a degree then do you work at the low end, soul destroying job for ever or do you opt out have kids and stay on benefits? Many do not have the intelligence or the education or the money to get themselves out of that hole and once in it, there are few ways of getting out. It is easy for any person to criticise when they have options, try removing those options and then where does it take them? 1
Macattack Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Only repeating what people have told me about supposedly successful relationships. I have never been in the situation myself... I know there are women out there who are breadwinners in their families Successful for who? The woman I guess? LOL
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Yes, but they do not have the advantage of a degree, so if you didn't have a degree then do you work at the low end, soul destroying job for ever or do you opt out have kids and stay on benefits? Many do not have the intelligence or the education or the money to get themselves out of that hole and once in it, there are few ways of getting out. It is easy for any person to criticise when they have options, try removing those options and then where does it take them? Yep...where I work, the IT guy is in that very situation. He used to work in some high paying jobs, though they were only contract work where he made big money. Then that ended, he wound up as a self-employed computer repair guy...eventually, business got slow...and now he is still an IT guy, but doesn't get paid much. Has a young daughter he has to take care of and in his early 40s and taking care of a sick parent. It just keeps piling on for him...but he is an amazing talent when it comes to work, but doesn't have the ability to spread his wings now. 1
Moy Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 What? I really don't have a clue what you mean mr white knight. What I mean is, don't lower yourself to their level. If they're shallow.....just walk away and leave them to some other sucker. And I'm far from a white knight, I watch luimarco on the daileee! Red pill rage, my friend. Once it has settled your eyes will be open.
Macattack Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 (edited) What I mean is, don't lower yourself to their level. If they're shallow.....just walk away and leave them to some other sucker. And I'm far from a white knight, I watch luimarco on the daileee! Red pill rage, my friend. Once it has settled your eyes will be open. You might be a purple pill not even close to a red pill. You realize there's hypergamy. Maybe these men don't want any part of it. She can pay her own bills but can she afford to get on vacations, restaurants, and other things that require plenty of money. Nobody should be required to provide for anyone considering women wanted equality. Plenty of women out there will only date men in certain professions it's no different. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii85hTSYHBU Edited February 28, 2015 by Macattack
Author Auspecial Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 ... $$$ as you well know can change unexpectedly, and I need to know that my relationships are based on more than superficial qualities such as income. In the interest of space, I didn't quote the whole thing, but very much appreciate your well-written and helpful post, the bulk of which can be seen on page 9. Re: the part I did quote. This is one of the key things that I think is overlooked when people set out searching for very specific professional,educational, or other types of labels, not being aware that things such as career, financial situations, health etc. can change on a dime. All that fluff can abruptly mean absolutely nothing. It is not always the most "secure" position to seek out what is superficial, as a label of some sort, rather than the living, breathing human being who exists under the tip of the iceberg. Two cases in point - and this is not calling out any specific gender nor profession, just two experiences that immediately came to mind while I was thinking about all of this. These were both years ago, not recent at all. While having a fabulous relationship with a man with a doctorate, he decided he preferred a woman who also has a doctorate, as he put it, "studies have shown that people with similar education levels are more compatible." I was hurt and deflated my hope in our seemingly mutually fabulous relationship, but I let it go. He kind of quickly (6 months later) married a speech pathologist with a doctorate. She ended up somehow scheming a big con to get a big chunk of his money and worse, taking their young child out of the country. A surgeon I am friends with, dated a woman who later became a registered nurse. They dated for 5-6 years and were known to be a tight couple. They suddenly split and the reason my friend gave me is "I am a doctor, and I can't date a nurse. Its just not what doctors do." (?!? lol - what was he doing all those years?) He later married a dermatologist, who gave him three daughters. His brilliant "catch" later committed suicide, leaving three young girls motherless. Reason: she could not cope with their financial losses after a crisis. Of course, these are just two examples, and there are also many examples where people of exact education level and/or exact income or professional level do work out very nicely. However, my point here is that labels are not the end-all to life and happy relationships. My point with this comment is, when the rubber hits the road, are you secure with this living, breathing human being that is with you?
Author Auspecial Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 Yes but you at the moment are someone who is viewed as having "potential". If you had graduated and you couldn't find a job in podiatry and were working in menial jobs for the past 7 years, then where is the "potential"? That is what the OP is facing, not her income per se nor the fact she is working 4 part time jobs. She could be scraping a living/barely existing, in her own business or going to law school or working for a charity, and that would probably be viewed better, than living adequately or well from a series of dead end jobs. The implication is dead end job=dead end person, and that is the attitude that those men are voicing, and there's the rub because the OP does not come across like that at all. Thats true, and the other pat of the rub is that first guy I mentioned in OP was married over 25 years to woman who never, ever worked. She never paid a single bill, and now complains that "she" was unfulfilled because she didn't "get" to work - even though he says she doesn't appear to be looking for work at all. Now, I can understand if he is burnt out on that type of thing (feeling used, perhaps?) But that's not who I am. Ex: I paid every penny of my college myself, because I worked and paid my bills. I did have a college loan, but paid it off quickly after graduating. I am working now. I have always worked. lol I like to work. The rub is, what I do isn't prestigious enough. It would be better to him if I didn't work at all or was a SAHM or a kept-ex-wife.
Moy Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Nobody should be required to provide for anyone considering women wanted equality. Exactly. Nobody needs 'rescuing' in this day and age - and if you do, then you're not dating material. People should be able to stand on their own feet before they consider treading on anybody else's toes. Once I discovered the term 'hypergamy' it was then that it all fell into place and I realised that as an average guy with an average income I'd never be good enough for the demands of most women these days. Hell, I've got a 6-pack in my 40s and I even have obese people openly rejecting me for my physical appearance on dating sites.nNot that I have anything against people's weight, but it's a hell of a double standard! Now I just do my own thing, get in shape, see friends, play my guitars, go to gigs etc. If women want to look down their nose at me for not having a 'prestigious' job, then it's 'see ya, wouldn't want to be ya.' Get onto Sandman's videos as well, he has new material all the time.
elaine567 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Thats true, and the other pat of the rub is that first guy I mentioned in OP was married over 25 years to woman who never, ever worked. She never paid a single bill, and now complains that "she" was unfulfilled because she didn't "get" to work - even though he says she doesn't appear to be looking for work at all. Now, I can understand if he is burnt out on that type of thing (feeling used, perhaps?) But that's not who I am. Ex: I paid every penny of my college myself, because I worked and paid my bills. I did have a college loan, but paid it off quickly after graduating. I am working now. I have always worked. lol I like to work. The rub is, what I do isn't prestigious enough. It would be better to him if I didn't work at all or was a SAHM or a kept-ex-wife. Yes, because he can then say "My wife is a very clever woman, but she gave it all up to be an SAHM/kept woman, she could have been a rocket scientist..." Whereas there is no prestige or perceived potential associated with the job(s) you do and so they are what they are, and although you did have a professional job the fact you no longer do, is also I guess a big point against you in his eyes. Too many questions can be asked and assumptions made around that fact also. BUT thankfully not everyone thinks in that way. 1
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