Mi7522 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Good thoughts. Thanks. I know I've done my part. As someone else said. I've made my statement already. Just was a temptation. Like an itch or like reaching for that smoke. We've all been there... Most of us. Like a lot of people on here say, it is an addiction and I still have temptations to contact my ex even after 4 months of NC, but I have also realized that contactng her would only set me back and I do wonder to myself do I really care what she is doing? Truthfully when I take a step back, no I don't, I am most likely wanting to contact her in order to relieve that itch. So I remind myself that and push forward. You will too and if she does reach out then like I said deal with it then but you've done all you can do for now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pixel_Hugs Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Like a lot of people on here say, it is an addiction and I still have temptations to contact my ex even after 4 months of NC, but I have also realized that contactng her would only set me back and I do wonder to myself do I really care what she is doing? Truthfully when I take a step back, no I don't, I am most likely wanting to contact her in order to relieve that itch. So I remind myself that and push forward. You will too and if she does reach out then like I said deal with it then but you've done all you can do for now. Thanks man. I respect these types of responses and appreciate them. I want most of all for myself to learn from my recent mistakes. I've screwed things up with the last two girls I've met because I've gotten a bit anxious. I'm trying to analyze it figure out how to be more chill. I used to be so reserved. I've changed the last few years. I really don't know what's going on. I think with this girl it was a combination of her and me. I am a little to blame. Part of me thinks she liked me but was looking for an out for some reason and found one. Anyway, ya I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 (edited) Thanks man. I respect these types of responses and appreciate them. I want most of all for myself to learn from my recent mistakes. I've screwed things up with the last two girls I've met because I've gotten a bit anxious. I'm trying to analyze it figure out how to be more chill. I used to be so reserved. I've changed the last few years. I really don't know what's going on. I think with this girl it was a combination of her and me. I am a little to blame. Part of me thinks she liked me but was looking for an out for some reason and found one. Anyway, ya I appreciate it. A girl who really likes you will look past your anxieties and flaws, I think your learning lesson here was to just not go too overboard. I doubt the video pushed her away. I don't think it was a good idea but it's highly likely it didn't make that much of a difference. People put too much stock in how they act after a relationship. They think every action or non-action will create attraction or distance when most of the time I doubt these things are make or break. Dumpees make mistakes after a break up, they are vulnerable, frantic, and hurt. I think most of the time whether you go NC immediately or make an ass out of yourself a couple times it doesn't effect things THAT much. If feelings are there they will be there regardless. If someone feels over you at that point, not much will change that. I guess the exceptions would be if you become a crazy stalker with grand gestures/flowers/letters all the time…that will for sure spook them lol Edited March 1, 2015 by Cedar27 Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Thanks man. I respect these types of responses and appreciate them. I want most of all for myself to learn from my recent mistakes. I've screwed things up with the last two girls I've met because I've gotten a bit anxious. I'm trying to analyze it figure out how to be more chill. I used to be so reserved. I've changed the last few years. I really don't know what's going on. I think with this girl it was a combination of her and me. I am a little to blame. Part of me thinks she liked me but was looking for an out for some reason and found one. Anyway, ya I appreciate it. I wondered for a bit what I did wrong but truthfully, if you were a good guy ie. no cheating or abuse, then there wasn't anything I could have done more to let her know I was all in. She had a different mindset of what she was looking for and unfortunately for me, I wasn't what she wanted. C'est la vie. But when I look back on it, even though in the scheme of things it's not a long time, I can leave with my dignity in tact because the worse thing she can say about me is that I treated her and her kids well. I think you've done the same, now it's time to worry about you and things will fall in place Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pixel_Hugs Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Ive been in communication with this girl best friend a lot because of some business. I am working with her son on a project as a favor. I have felt a little weird about the communication. Most of all i don't think im comfortable with any of this communication is spoken about between the two girls. Id rather her not know what im doing. I Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Ive been in communication with this girl best friend a lot because of some business. I am working with her son on a project as a favor. I have felt a little weird about the communication. Most of all i don't think im comfortable with any of this communication is spoken about between the two girls. Id rather her not know what im doing. As long as you are only taking to the friend about the project you are working on with the son, until you have hard evidence to the contrary assume that the friend is also exercising discretion. While she may have mentioned that you are working on the project, it's unlikely that she's reporting every detail back to the woman you broke off with. Not everybody is a gossip. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pixel_Hugs Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 (edited) As long as you are only taking to the friend about the project you are working on with the son, until you have hard evidence to the contrary assume that the friend is also exercising discretion. While she may have mentioned that you are working on the project, it's unlikely that she's reporting every detail back to the woman you broke off with. Not everybody is a gossip. I just think girls talk and I just would like to keep this girl out of the loop with my relationship with her friend even if it is work. I'd prefer her not to be in the know. They are close AND the kicker is that I dated this girl about 12 yrs ago before they knew each other. I think that it's is one reason this whole thing went sour. Deep down I don't think it sat well with her. She knew and I didn't tell her. I was just waiting for the right time but figured she was told and knew already. It bit me in the ass when I told her we shouldn't see each other anymore. It came out... My past is my past and I just thought it really isn't any of her business since they didn't know each other at the time. I would wait until the right time to tell her. It really wasn't on my mind at all. I think this girl and I both freaked out a little....sucks. Edited March 2, 2015 by Pixel_Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I just think girls talk and I just would like to keep this girl out of the loop with my relationship with her friend even if it is work. I'd prefer her not to be in the know. They are close AND the kicker is that I dated this girl about 12 yrs ago before they knew each other. I think that it's is one reason this whole thing went sour. Deep down I don't think it sat well with her. She knew and I didn't tell her. I was just waiting for the right time but figured she was told and knew already. It bit me in the ass when I told her we shouldn't see each other anymore. It came out... My past is my past and I just thought it really isn't any of her business since they didn't know each other at the time. I would wait until the right time to tell her. It really wasn't on my mind at all. I think this girl and I both freaked out a little....sucks. Well, don't let this affect your work. If you have to talk to this friend for work than do it -- just keep it about work. You can't control anything else, so try your best not to worry about it. Stay professional and polite and just slug through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Double post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pixel_Hugs Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Double post. I don't know what this means? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I don't know what this means? It means I accidentally posted the same thing twice, therefore instead of repeating myself I put "double post". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pixel_Hugs Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 It means I accidentally posted the same thing twice, therefore instead of repeating myself I put "double post". Ahh. Ok. Cool. Link to post Share on other sites
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