SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Why do I feel so terrible then? I honestly feel like I've just been used or something. I feel really ****. Now what I need is for someone to tell me how much better off I am without him, and that I'll meet someone else in due time. I speculate... that because you got a first/early sense for what it feels like when the human image on which you(r 'heart') is focused, is right there in your real world... and because it triggered in you the very normal reflex that is to want to keep investing and focusing your feelings in one direction (which IS (despite the cluelessness ongoing in some of this thread) very normal {for a teenage girl, or anybody}...) and now you would very much like to feel those feelings, and that inspiration from within to envision (your heart being satisfied/content/focused by/on one person again) Now it is entirely true that if fate would produce for you a random, great guy from your school, who was as into you as you want to be into someone right now... then the part about the 35yo guy would drift to the far back of your mind, and then disappear altogether. Unfortunately, some/most people have to wait an almost-intolerable period of time before that happens in life... and it is so difficult to keep believing that it is going to happen to/for you within a time period which you can (stand). It would be so grand (and easy to SAY) if you could focus on doing well in school, and on not restricting the upside potential for the great guy who will come along in due time, through the use of drugs, or as the result of (other) poor choices that young people so easily make in this challenging society (then you'd be doing your very best in the present for the future joys you'll gain from a then-partner). Consider, also, that those ancient couples you see and read about, who have been together forever... they're not attracted to one another because THEY have hotter bodies in the present than do the people in various fashion magazines... they're not attracted to one another because, at age 72, they have managed to retain their 20yo faces... those ancient couples remain attracted to one another because of the complete satisfaction they've known as the result of beginning their emotional **investments** in one another SO long ago, and then building ON those investments over years and years shared together!!! Put differently, it's a lot like contemplating the present-day value of a sum of money from long ago. Using an inflation calculator, I just looked up the present-day value of $2000 in the year 1960. strawberries, your best relationship(s) will be a lot like this: the value of $2000 in 1960 is equal to $15,859 in today's dollars, and just consider how that would feeeeeeeeeeeel if those were emotional dollars. If your own inner psyche is ideal (no easy task in this day and age, but there's hope...) then it probably matters much less just who the one random partner is, next year, or next month, if that partner arrives with the bonus of a similar capability of being with you for the long haul. Who took the garbage out last week, or who won't seem to take the garbage out today isn't that important IF you're with someone who is capable, as you are, of resolving those little issues in the present, while continuing to thrive on investing everything in one another for the future. So somewhere in there, is a connection to what might feel so "terrible" right now, when you just want to kinda follow your impulse to start investing yourself emotionally... (which IS "normal" - for the good people, anyway) ... but suddenly the investment now seems as if it has reverted back to 'zero'. SO yeah, as you already alluded to, time is going to be the answer to that... so just focus on school, and on getting involved with the world around you (I.E. "meeting lots of people") and that will in due time bring just the kinds of potential partners you'll want. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 What doesn't sit well, exactly? Surely you guys don't think I'm lying or something? Please specify what it is that seems fishy.. Why do I feel so terrible then? I honestly feel like I've just been used or something. I feel really ****. Now what I need is for someone to tell me how much better off I am without him, and that I'll meet someone else in due time. No comma is necessary if there is an and. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strawberries Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 No comma is necessary if there is an and. Woah, thank you for that mind-blowing piece of information. God knows how we'd cope without you around. Link to post Share on other sites
Kbomb Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Dont do it. It wont work!!!! The age gap is just too big! He looks young now at 34, but in 15 years you wont be attracted to him anymore. Been there, done that! You are so young, dont waste time on him. It wont work. In the end you will lose. Link to post Share on other sites
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