Fiance left gave back ring

[mtnbiker3000]

This just so reminds me of the same cycle I went through. I was also engaged. And broken up with. And back together. And broken up with. Huge swings of ups and downs. Us working out and us not working out. Good days/weeks and bad days/weeks. A real roller coaster.

 

But in the end, obviously it didn't work and I wish I had just stopped at the first signs of failure. It's so much worse the longer you keep it going.

 

I TRULY HOPE this works out as you intend, but it seems very familiar to me and it ended up hurting. Bad!!

[you must let it go]

This just so reminds me of the same cycle I went through. I was also engaged. And broken up with. And back together. And broken up with. Huge swings of ups and downs. Us working out and us not working out. Good days/weeks and bad days/weeks. A real roller coaster.

 

But in the end, obviously it didn't work and I wish I had just stopped at the first signs of failure. It's so much worse the longer you keep it going.

 

I TRULY HOPE this works out as you intend, but it seems very familiar to me and it ended up hurting. Bad!!

same here mate my 1st love was with her 5 years broke up for 3 months got back together lasted 9 months was never the same somethings are best left alone the 2nd time almost killed me worse than the 1stt time.

 

Iv been following this thread from the start very similar to my own Iv been with this woman 16 years 2 kids her ex is sniffing round seen her phone searched the number bang his name came up in an ebay add selling a car she gave it all we are just friends BS even had him aroud our house to meet him

 

I know shes with him now although I have no proff but my gut instincts tell me I seen a valentines tedy bear in her bedroom last time i was up seening my kids I know they used to like giving bears to each other she did me once.

 

The worst thing is after 16 years together 2 kids I was a rebound even to this day I remember having silent phone calls she was carrying my son at the time it was her ex tring to get her back I just knew it.

 

Im texting someone now who i was with before i met her over 16 years ago been text boming each other all day exes find theyer way back some how uless you beat them cheated ect.. facebook!

Edited April 16, 2015 by you must let it go

[Toodaloo]

All I can say is that I am really crossing fingers.

 

Its great that the communication is so much better between you both. That needs to keep up and at this point, as others have said, its got to be slow and steady or you risk all that work you have put it. Its also a really good sign that she is leaving stuff around. I don't think you need to look as she isn't hiding it.

 

I think its a really good thing that you are keeping up your boundaries and are maintaining some distance. I know its difficult because things are finally going well but this is the point where a sudden change and final break up could happen. Keep your guard up and a bit of space. Take it easy. Use those months that are left on your lease.

 

I do have fingers crossed for you though. I am hoping that this works out and I am really pleased that you are finally getting some happiness and some signs of your white picket fence dream. Of course your daughter is happier! Her Mum and Dad are happier again! I also like the idea of you taking her to the tattoo parlor if that is what she wants.

 

Good luck. I know we are all being pessimistic but we have your best interests at heart and we are all hoping that you are going to be the exception to the rule. Keep us up to date. We are not going to judge just offer advice based on our experiences... Keep going.

[Flabreakup]

Those exes are pesky aren't they. Strangely enough I never really bothered with any of mine again on any other basis but friends and barely that. I guess different people do different things.

 

Still going great though. I really think she is giving it a real go based off of what I hear from her and her friends and family. They all say she's been super happy these last three weeks. I'm not trying to get too high but just be a good person and let the real me come out as she has been. Her whole demeanor has been very different in a good way and it shows.

 

Still sober. Less than two weeks and it will be three months. Doesn't even cross my mind. Since I've been on a health kick Ivedrank only water most of the time so instead of alcohol I treat myself to a soda or sugary drink every now and then. I've also become addicted to a daily donut. I know very counter to healthy but there so good. Oh well, I was never planning on being Mr universe or anything so might as well be happy. Even thinking about getting rid of the cigarettes. Kind of stupid to run for half an hour at the gym then leave and spark up before I get out of the parking lot. But I do every time.

 

So I did get her a new tattoo yesterday. Before we went she was looking around for something to get and asked me if I'd ever get a couples tattoo. I thought she was kidding but she saved some pics to her phone. She asked me a while ago and I said I dont think so and I'm not that crazy. Told her the day I get married is the day I'd do that. She had several other ideas and that was just a side thing. Ended up getting something on her ankle with our daughters initials. Very nice really. Those things are addictive and I want a bunch more but I'm going to wait awhile. I'm up to two and that's enough for me for now.

 

Picked up some stuff to make breakfast with. I don't really cook very well so we'll see how that turns out. Today is her birthday so busy day I'm sure. Got her a card the tattoo and an alarm clock so didn't go nuts with it.

 

Yesterday she also gave me a key to her place. Kind of a big step to me. I'm not moving in or anything but nice to know she is thinking about the future again. I know I know baby steps so I'm trying to keep it as slow as I can but still just let things flow. I really can't explain the joy I have everyday all day now though. Trying to not let it go to my head but why not enjoy being happy instead of worrying it might this or might that. My business is doing great and I'm looking around for a shop now. Very exciting stuff. I'm not going to jump into something that's not perfect so no rush. But too many times people talk about doing things and never actually do them. She's always had my back with starting my own thing and is by far my biggest cheerleader. Now that I'm not hung over everyday I have ambition to go along with my ideas. she is also loving her new career and I really like the time it gives me with our daughter while she's doing her twelve hour shifts. Everyone tells me the time goes by so fast and I've already wasted a few years in the bottle with her so trying to spend as much as I can now.

 

I still can't say for sure what way things will go but thank you for keeping those fingers crossed. I tell myself if she didnt leave I would still be a drunken ******* and not giving my daughter or work my all so regardless of what happens the positives are here to stay.

 

Well I'm off to get some shut eye so I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

[Toodaloo]

I am pleased that its still going well.

 

Keep us up to date and remember we are here.

 

Fingers still crossed.

 

But hey 3 months sober! You are the man! Well done!!!

[you must let it go]

Glad for you mate! what ever you do stay off the beer I F^& up my second chance up by hitting the bottle again. I was so happy to get back with her old habits die hard.

[Flabreakup]

Howdy

Just a quick update, still going really well. No issues or arguments so far. Still have differences of opinion but these don't turn into anything more than an eventual compromise. That would have never happened before. Everyday gets better than the last. Well, hope everyone is having a good weekend.

[mtnbiker3000]

Congrats. Hope it continues to go well

 

However, I encourage you to regularly look at it from her perspective rather than yours. You can't see through your haze of happiness right now. A pile of doody on the ground will look great to you because you've got her back in your life. Just be cautions and see things for what they are, not what you think they are...

[Toodaloo]

Still checking in on you Brian but I am glad all is going well.

 

Don't let yourself slide back into old habits and remember that its got to be a 2 way thing. Keep those boundaries and keep looking after yourself!

[Flabreakup]

Hi there

Just stopping by for another quick update. Everyone was so helpful in the beginning and it bugs me when people get the answers they wanted from a forum and never come back. So, everything is really good on my end. Got that new truck on Saturday. First brand new vehicle ever for me so super excited. It's almost too nice to use for work but that's what I got it for.

Anyway, relationship is going terrific still. Been about a month or so now so it's almost feeling normal again. Still we are pretty different than before in good ways I think. I'm much more helpful and of course never hungover or starting stupid arguments over nothing. While she is more open and communicative in her own opinions and thoughts. its very refreshing discussing our days and current events. I will admit I've been staying at her house more and more often. Of course my daughter is there also so I enjoy it. But we sit down at the table and talk while we eat dinner or breakfast. In the past we would sit on the couch watching tv while eating barely saying a word to each other. I can't say how much having a normal sit down dinner and just talking keeps things fresh.

 

Well, it's 9am lady and baby are still sleeping. I'm a little slow work wise at the moment so I'm heading to the gym. Get to drive the new wheels too.

 

I really can't believe the full circle things have come since February 2nd. For anyone out there thinking it's over and hopeless particularly when you have a child involved I say keep trying to better yourself and positive things will happen.

 

Toodaloo I hope spring is bringing positive things and good weather over there to you.

[Toodaloo]

Hi Brian

 

I have been searching all over to try and find your thread again to check in on you!!!

 

I am really pleased that all is going so well! That is fantastic news!!!

 

It Britain... Its always raining and if it isn't its about to!!!

 

Here we are in May and its grim down South as well as up North!!! (We have a saying over here that "its grim up North")...

 

All ticking along with me as it does. Nothing very spectacular to report or tell you about. The blossom on the trees is slowly being blown off by the wind and the grass is growing so summer must be on its way!

 

I think I have just brought the weirdest ever birthday present. I have got my mother a session with my chiropractor! Sad thing is I know she will love it!!!

 

Don't be a stranger. I still have fingers and toes crossed for you.

[Flabreakup]

That doesn't sound too strange of a gift. I have a friend who goes once or twice a month and loves it. They can really help some people.

I kind of miss the nice cool weather of spring and fall or even the cold winter. Here there is just really hot and a little less hot in winter. There's a reason they call it the sunshine state.

Things with me and the little lady are still going terrific. The baby is doing good. We are working on potty training. She is having no part of it but we have to keep trying.

Well, I'm off to make breakfast. Hope you enjoy your week.

[Toodaloo]

Just so you enjoy your sunshine... Its raining... again... here!

 

All is well I am glad things are still looking good for you both.

 

Any news on that motorbike yet???

[Flabreakup]

Unfortunately no bike for a little while. Just got the new truck so would like to get that paid down a little first. But I sure won't forget and gives me something to look forward to maybe later this year.

 

Things are going well still. Took the baby up to the hospital to have lunch with the lady on her break. Now waiting for my brothers plain to come in at home. He is moving down but has his own place set up. He's 30 and coming with only his suitcase and a dream to make things better for himself. Mel and him really got along great so that's a plus.

 

I hope the weather starts to get nice up there for you.

[Toodaloo]

Really good news. All round! With your brother there it will be great for you not to feel so alone any more.

 

Really pleased its going so well. Fingers shall remain crossed and I will keep checking in.

 

Just remember that now it is so good you mustn't slip back into your old ways... either of you! Remember it takes 2 to tango and keep with it.

 

As for the weather... this is the UK! If its not raining (which it is!) then its going to soon!!! We are used to it!

[Flabreakup]

Well things are still going terrific for the most part. Hope all is good with you as well.

Only problem that keeps coming up really is with me in my own head. Every once in a while something comes up or is said that reminds me of her talking to the exes and I try not to say anything but the whole mood changes between us for a little while. Not her fault or mine it just sits in the back of my head and comes out every so often.

But things really are going great except for these few little moments. I was a bad partner for a long time and she is overcoming that so I should be able to over come this too I would think. I'll keep working on it and let time do its job though. I hope.

So what's new with you lately?

[Toodaloo]

Hi Brian

 

Perhaps it would be worth asking her to go to couples counselling again. Just so you can both figure out ways to get over the problems you had before and leave them behind you both? they may be able to come up with some coping mechanisms for you both that would help you both heal from the past so you can keep looking forward.

 

Time will help. It will give you both perspective and you will get there. You both seem to be putting the effort in now which is great.

 

Life here ticks on. I had a really wonderful date yesterday but sadly I don't think he is all that into me so I doubt its going anywhere. Shame but it is as it is. So I am currently licking my wounds and going to spend a couple of days doing things to cheer myself up. It was weird as I have had so many dating disasters that now I meet someone I really like and it all goes a bit skewiffy that its worse than meeting yet another freak... It would have been easier to deal with having to punch someone on the nose and run! We shall see. I think I am one of those people that grows on you rather than an instant like so I may try and see if I can get him out again in a few weeks. I don't know yet. I may just leave it and be done with it.

 

How is your brother getting on?

[BC1980]

All couples have problems. You just have to deal with them head on. I think there is hurt on both sides, but it can be worked through. Especially since you have a child, I think it's important to try. I would talk to her about how you feel, just be open and honest. Give her the opportunity to do the same, and acknowledge that you can't just put a bandaid on stuff and keep going. If she is really serious about it and loves you, she will be willing to talk.