hopefullove Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I don't care about OLD. Personally, my personality is charming and I have a great laugh. None of which work well on OLD. I was commenting on a site that has a vote of physical qualities to be a member of- And that is what I find shallow, not OLD like OKC. Congrats on your ego stroke of making it to the hot member club on OKC. I bet you have a better chance of finding your match, right? Jesus. I think OLD is a waste of everyone's goddamned time. Trying to force something that should be natural. Too busy multidating and running here to meet this good looking chap and there to meet that chap.. Rather than spending time focusing on yourself, doing things for you, and letting the chance and magic happen of meeting someone truly charming because that is the guy/girl you will notice during this time. Stop preoccupying yourself with trying to not feel lonely and wasting time with people you just feel meh about because it was convenient to set up a date with them. Old fashion dating is hard to exist in today's current society because we are not the same culture and society of the past, it's just the reality. Like most of my friends, I don't know where most of your friends are from, but I've made them by being around them. Through school, or work, or gym, or some sort of activity I do often, where we can form a gradual relationship. However, I've also made online friends, some that I meet for dinner when I am in town, or just keep in touch with. There really is no rule on how you can form a relationship. So that's why I feel your personal view on forming online relationships are rudimentary and general to only bad experiences. Anyway I have an amazing, considerate, beautiful boyfriend, so I'm done with OLD. And I totally agree that it's become a culture of "next". As a culture, we are riddled with options and instant gratification. OLD is just a sample of people who are actively seeking, sure there are people who use the system to date around, and there are rude people, and very indecent people, and I've met them, but there's just the same amount in real life. Perhaps, the concentration is more, because there's nothing connecting you to a random person you meet online. However, you're basically ruling out the fact that many people who are genuinely interested in forming a loving relationship use it too. And I've known a lot of people who have found an amazing relationship online. Or, have dated and had relationships that have not lasted based on incompatibles, but it is what it is. Oh, my personality is way more charming than my looks. And yeah, it was totally an ego boost. I suppose I am pretty attractive now, but I've also had really gross periods in life, and I still was able to attract whomever I've wanted. Actually, my entire life I've been able to attract whatever guy I've had my eye on, then 2 years ago, I dated the hell out of OLD and it was the most traumatic experience of my life. Like I've never in my life experienced such vile men, behaviour you would never tolerate from someone you knew or met in real life, rude men, players, emotionally unstable, oh there's a lot of that because a lot of them are usually recently single, however as a student of sociology, I've always been fascinated with human nature so I really just saw it as a social experiment. At the end of it, I've seen some of the rude men I've met, form really loving relationships. I mean, people, most people, do want love, when they are ready for it, with the person they are compatible with, with the right timing. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hey folks, it looks like our hydra got quite a foothold in this thread so I had to delete 20-some postings in total when banning them. As a reminder, no matter the thread topic, all members shall be treated with the utmost respect. If that standard is too lofty, there are other web sites and other threads perhaps more appropriate. Thanks! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hopefullove Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 And not only shallow women join. I am not shallow - I go for average guys within my league, and who I find cute and feel hot for. Most women on the site could very well be shallow - the women who are really attractive probably only date the hottest men - so it is fair enough that they want an online dating site that caters to their needs. I don't see what is wrong with that. I didn't join for the reasons those women joined - I don't have the hot guys all flock to me and ask to date me. I am not in THOSE women's leagues look wise. However, why are those types of women on the site shallow for thinking " well, I only ever date hot guys, so it is a good idea to go on a website where the types of guys I date go?" I just don't see what is so shallow about those good looking women KNOWING they are hot, and wanting to seek out guys in their league? I am well aware most of the men on the website are above my league look wise but I tried to get in for the sake of it. What is so wrong with the truly beautiful people on that site who simply want to date within their league? There's nothing wrong with wanting to date attractive people. I'm like female Leonardo Dicaprio, all my boyfriends are models, ahhaha. But it's not the best thing about them, it's just a bonus..... my current love, he's so amazing, and the respects me, is sharp witted, he is smart and has his masters, he is handy, is hard working and ambitious, he is loving and thoughtful, caring and he cooks for me! He listens to my feelings, I can go on about how well he treats me as a person. The fact that he's a good looking man, that's a bonus. I don't think you need to apologize to anyone for wanting what you want. Physical attractiveness is one thing, it gets you in the door, if you're going to date someone just because they're good looking and they have nothing else going for them, or they're a complete jack ass, then, okay, that's a pretty shallow, but if you're only looking for a good time, then whatever, have your fun. However, if you want someone who you are attracted to, and they also happen to be an amazing person, then that's GREAT! Just because someone is good looking, doesn't mean they can't also be an amazing person. And just because you would like, and the thing is, it's not saying you're only going to date super hot people, if you meet someone and fall in love, who knows who that's going to be, but it's just saying, you'd like someone conventionally attractive to start off the process with. So what. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Whatever happened to dating someone, getting to know them after a couple months and then realizing you have absolutely zero physical attraction to them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shinyprettything Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Am I the only one that finds this extremely funny and ironic that this conversation has been turned into any sort of "debate"? When it is distinctly obvious that purpose of OP's post was anything but. hmmmm, i guess if one joins a dating site of any sort, um, expect, dating? *SMH Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Well I don't know to expect dating simply because it is a dating site. A lot of sites are laden with men who just want sex:sick: And then there are a few serious men but they seem to not be very attractive or have something off about them - hence why they have to go online. So... men who are after sex OR the men I am just not attracted to and find it hard to get dates in real life, are the main types of men I have seen online... Yes there are normal people like me who can get dates in real life and just use online as an easy way to get dates and get to explore more men than I otherwise would do in my every day life. I just found a lot of people online to be not very desirable hence why they are on there - aside from the few normal people who yeah, are desirable enough to get real life dates SANS online. I was hoping beautiful people would have more confident men who can get dates in real life, and are online because they genuinely want a relationship? And less men who cannot find a woman and have to resort to online because they cannot find it in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 And then there are a few serious men but they seem to not be very attractive or have something off about them - hence why they have to go online. So... men who are after sex OR the men I am just not attracted to and find it hard to get dates in real life, are the main types of men I have seen online... I was hoping beautiful people would have more confident men who can get dates in real life, and are online because they genuinely want a relationship? And less men who cannot find a woman and have to resort to online because they cannot find it in real life. A dating site is a dating site. Beautiful people is still going offer you men who HAVE to go online, hence falling into the category in your first paragraph. One huge contradictory there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 A dating site is a dating site. Beautiful people is still going offer you men who HAVE to go online, hence falling into the category in your first paragraph. One huge contradictory there. They will either be really, really shy, creepy or have something off about them.. IF they are beautiful and still cannot get a date in real life! Or be looking for casual fun. That is something that is rampant on any dating site - whether it is > or < on beautiful people is not something I think I want to explore. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Old fashion dating is hard to exist in today's current society because we are not the same culture and society of the past, it's just the reality. Like most of my friends, I don't know where most of your friends are from, but I've made them by being around them. Through school, or work, or gym, or some sort of activity I do often, where we can form a gradual relationship. However, I've also made online friends, some that I meet for dinner when I am in town, or just keep in touch with. There really is no rule on how you can form a relationship. So that's why I feel your personal view on forming online relationships are rudimentary and general to only bad experiences. Anyway I have an amazing, considerate, beautiful boyfriend, so I'm done with OLD. And I totally agree that it's become a culture of "next". As a culture, we are riddled with options and instant gratification. OLD is just a sample of people who are actively seeking, sure there are people who use the system to date around, and there are rude people, and very indecent people, and I've met them, but there's just the same amount in real life. Perhaps, the concentration is more, because there's nothing connecting you to a random person you meet online. However, you're basically ruling out the fact that many people who are genuinely interested in forming a loving relationship use it too. And I've known a lot of people who have found an amazing relationship online. Or, have dated and had relationships that have not lasted based on incompatibles, but it is what it is. Oh, my personality is way more charming than my looks. And yeah, it was totally an ego boost. I suppose I am pretty attractive now, but I've also had really gross periods in life, and I still was able to attract whomever I've wanted. Actually, my entire life I've been able to attract whatever guy I've had my eye on, then 2 years ago, I dated the hell out of OLD and it was the most traumatic experience of my life. Like I've never in my life experienced such vile men, behaviour you would never tolerate from someone you knew or met in real life, rude men, players, emotionally unstable, oh there's a lot of that because a lot of them are usually recently single, however as a student of sociology, I've always been fascinated with human nature so I really just saw it as a social experiment. At the end of it, I've seen some of the rude men I've met, form really loving relationships. I mean, people, most people, do want love, when they are ready for it, with the person they are compatible with, with the right timing. Maybe I am just bitter from not being conventionally attractive. I just know the quality of women I pull from OLD (yes, I have tried it) and in real life were completely different. On OLD, also, I met some really effed up women that I wouldn't have wasted a date on. While I was never considered an option to most women because the whole idea of using nothing but a picture to base your attraction on someone is ridiculously shallow. When in reality, most of these women wouldn't have had a chance with me, not because of their looks, but because they are shallow, or boring, or not intellectually stimulating. I am not saying that everyone on OLD has an awful personality. Really, it was just a comment towards this beautiful peeps one. Seems a bit ridiculous for me. Also, maybe I am a thrill junky and love going up to a girl and asking her for a date face to face. It can be a rush. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I was hoping beautiful people would have more confident men who can get dates in real life, and are online because they genuinely want a relationship? And less men who cannot find a woman and have to resort to online because they cannot find it in real life. It's highly probably that those men who can get dates in real life, are probably not online. Also... just because it's some sort of group where you get voted in, it doesn't mean that there will be less of the "other kind" of people that aren't going to take it seriously. I don't get how you equate exterior looks with seriousness of dating within the online realm. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I have also met only 2 types of men online (regardless of a dating site): men after casual sex or men where there is something seriously off about them. I don't feel it contradicts the fact that I do online dating. Men are programmed to prefer casual sex while most women prefer a relationship. Therefore a man that goes online to seek a relationship is a the same level of desperation as a woman that has to go online just to get casual sex. How women do you know that can't get casual sex in real life? Exactly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 This attitude that some have that if a man is on line dating there must be something wrong with him while women can on line date all we like and be perfectly normal is kinda one sided BS..there are all kinds of people doing on line dating now a days women are no more perfect or "normal" then men on line.. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I have also met only 2 types of men online (regardless of a dating site): men after casual sex or men where there is something seriously off about them. I don't feel it contradicts the fact that I do online dating. Men are programmed to prefer casual sex while most women prefer a relationship. Therefore a man that goes online to seek a relationship is a the same level of desperation as a woman that has to go online just to get casual sex. How women do you know that can't get casual sex in real life? Exactly. Yet you still do online dating? Okaaaaaaay...... Link to post Share on other sites
Erised Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 How positively absurd! Men are online dating seeking relationships for the same reason women are; they haven't in their social circle met a person who meets the requirements they wish, or they don't want to confuse things in their social circle with unnecessary involvements that might not work out. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. I know lots of guys who do online dating. Guys I know in person, I've learned they also do online dating. It's not two distinct sets. Online dating is convenient and allows you to get to know a person for better reasons than just appearance. I wouldn't trust anyone on a "beautiful people" site though- because, who cares? It seems so shallow just to get in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 I have also met only 2 types of men online (regardless of a dating site): men after casual sex or men where there is something seriously off about them. I don't feel it contradicts the fact that I do online dating. Men are programmed to prefer casual sex while most women prefer a relationship. Therefore a man that goes online to seek a relationship is a the same level of desperation as a woman that has to go online just to get casual sex. How women do you know that can't get casual sex in real life? Exactly. Wow I have met some genuinely decent men from online. Not desperate at all. Just not all that many lol. But definitely, SOME men were decent quality and they didn't have issues getting dates in real life. Nor were they after casual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Leigh 87 I would like to know your true feelings. You have so many posts and threads but newbie me does not see the real you. There is something underneath the "chemistry, sparks and attraction." that you are preoccupied with. I don't know if today is the day or this thread is the place. I have a strong feeling (I know) that these things you throw out are smoke and mirrors. I would be interested to know the real Leigh. The person. I really would. Link to post Share on other sites
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