Jump to content

What is chemistry, and how does a guy inspire it?


Recommended Posts

Right.

So, have you decided to take her somewhere other than a restaurant with placemats one colors in?

 

What else is up in the air, SD?

Did you get the chemistry answer?

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
All I'm saying is that if this girls having a great time with SD, she not gonna give a rats ass whether she's at Denny's or sizzlerrs or a hot dog stand. None of it will be relevant.

 

Exactly.

 

I'm sure Lani who suggested this idea of taking her out for a bite to eat wasn't thinking about taking this girl to a fancy dinner. The whole point was to extend the evening and keep the fun going.

 

There's a pub pretty close to campus. It's probably not as nice or clean as Denny's but it could be fun.

 

BTW, since it would be my idea I would pay for her.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a pub pretty close to campus. It's probably not as nice or clean as Denny's but it could be fun.

 

What's the atmosphere like in this pub?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Exactly.

 

I'm sure Lani who suggested this idea of taking her out for a bite to eat wasn't thinking about taking this girl to a fancy dinner. The whole point was to extend the evening and keep the fun going.

 

 

No, but she did point out that going to Denny's wouldn't get you the result that you're looking for.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Is a place like that even open late at night? If it's past 9 around here, Denny's and Jack in the Box are the ONLY things even open.

 

I've cut down on everything else, just so that people on phones don't have to scroll through it again. I'm not trying to pile up on you, but Lunch Girl is 26, so she might have been to nicer places - and SD did mention that he wants to spend time alone with her, not with friends, and he is aiming to date her, so he really should get it over with and just ask her out.

 

Somebody here suggested that he ask her out to eat before dancing. I think that sounds like a good idea.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
What's the atmosphere like in this pub?

 

I've never been there. Though I'm expecting it to be a basic bar with pool tables etc.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Somebody here suggested that he ask her out to eat before dancing. I think that sounds like a good idea.

 

If he wants to take her somewhere nice, this might be better. People are TIRED and sweaty after a late night of dancing. Being sweaty and exhausted in a fancy restaurant doesn't sound pleasant to me. At all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Oy. Denny's. Le Petite Bisto. Whatever. This is the least of his problems.

 

Baby steps. I know it's the least of his problems, but it's one that he's willing to focus on.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Baby steps. I know it's the least of his problems, but it's one that he's willing to focus on.

 

Plus, it gets him---sorry, YOU to break a pattern of lazy thinking, SD, wherein you often choose the easiest solution.

 

Helps growth a little to come up with something a bit more creative.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
I've never been there. Though I'm expecting it to be a basic bar with pool tables etc.

 

You've studied there for a decade and you haven't checked out the local pub? :eek:

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Hey! Thinking of taking her to Denny's for some food after dancing was me being creative.

 

My first thought was Tabo Bell :o

 

Neither of these is the least bit creative. They reflect that no thought was put into it at all.

 

Without collecting ideas here, try to come up with something that would be interesting. A place that this woman might actually enjoy going to, and maybe have a new experience. Fancy is NOT necessary. But creativity and thought count.

 

I'm sure most guys (the guys you think of as competition) have lots of favorite places to take a date.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Exactly.

 

I'm sure Lani who suggested this idea of taking her out for a bite to eat wasn't thinking about taking this girl to a fancy dinner. The whole point was to extend the evening and keep the fun going.

 

There's a pub pretty close to campus. It's probably not as nice or clean as Denny's but it could be fun.

 

BTW, since it would be my idea I would pay for her.

 

SD yes- you are right. I didn't mean a fancy dinner, that does seem a little overkill to me.

But I also certainly didn't mean somewhere like Denny's.

Somewhere in the middle of those two, perhaps? I have no idea what happens in your city, but where I'm from we have a bunch of late night bars that serve food and have a pretty relaxed vibe- one is a dumpling bar, another is just spanish tapas, another is cured meats and pickles.. There's a huge assortment of them and they're just nice and casual, yet still a bit nicer than a diner with hideous fluorescent lighting.

BUT! If this isn't something you'd be open to doing again in the future, then please don't bother. But a big part of me thinks that if you tried it you might actually enjoy it. And take a panadol with you in case you get a headache.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear

I think some of you are making too much of a deal about the Denny's....Not saying its not a nice thought, but at that age, I took them wherever I could and had no problems..What the hell does a kid at that age know, anyway..??Heck, some places I recall would have made Denny's look like Morton's Steak House...:laugh:

 

If they have any interest at all, they wont judge....

 

TFY

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I think some of you are making too much of a deal about the Denny's....Not saying its not a nice thought, but at that age, I took them wherever I could and had no problems..What the hell does a kid at that age know, anyway..??Heck, some places I recall would have made Denny's look like Morton's Steak House...:laugh:

 

If they have any interest at all, they wont judge....

 

TFY

 

Which age? SD's, or his college girls'?

 

It's not about judgement TFY, it's about knowing someone made an effort to take you somewhere they'd put thought into. Not just some diner that's on every second street corner, serving the same food ten year olds eat for free on family night.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
What the hell does a kid at that age know, anyway..??

 

This girl's 26, not a kid.

 

And even then, at 19-20, I certainly knew better than Denny's, and so did my classmates. Even local diners and bar cheeseburgers would be preferable. Picking a chain like that even for a casual bite to eat when there are other options just screams lazy and unoriginal.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Oy. Denny's. Le Petite Bisto. Whatever. This is the least of his problems.

 

 

Right. But he doesn't want to talk about his other problems.

 

So people are trying to help with the only problem he wants to talk about. :)

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

SD, the pub sounds like a good idea, except for the fact that you don't know anything about it. IMO you should try a place first before taking a date there. Usually this is not a problem for people because if they've been in the area for some time, they already would have tried some places and have a few favourites. But in your case you should probably make a conscious effort to go and look for them if you want to date.

 

I think some of you are making too much of a deal about the Denny's....Not saying its not a nice thought, but at that age, I took them wherever I could and had no problems..What the hell does a kid at that age know, anyway..??Heck, some places I recall would have made Denny's look like Morton's Steak House...:laugh:

 

If they have any interest at all, they wont judge....

 

TFY

 

Eating out and going out in general might have changed a lot over the decades, I think. It's not uncommon for a 26-yo nowadays to not feel particularly romantic splitting the bill at a fast food chain.

 

I agree that Denny's really isn't SD's biggest problem, but it's the only one he seems open to talking about, so hey, we help where we can... :o

 

Whatever the heck you mentioned earlier with waiters speaking Italian and unintelligible menu items that many college girls will never have heard of, is WAY TOO MUCH for grabbing food after dancing.

 

He mentioned a place where mains were $10 each. How is that in any way a fancy restaurant? She might not necessarily know what some of the menu items are, but that could be half the fun if she's adventurous, and certainly a memorable experience.

 

I think there is some disconnect here between posters on what construes a 'fancy restaurant'. Are you and SD considering anything that isn't a fast food or diner chain and isn't takeaway as a "fancy restaurant"?

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
At least I'm not taking her to Taboo Bell. Imagine the scandal that would cause!

 

 

 

I will see how tomorrow goes. The one thing I learned about life is to never get my hopes up. That way I won't be disappointed when things don't go right.

 

I will consider the advice if she does become Dinner girl :)

 

White Castle anyone? :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear
This girl's 26, not a kid.

 

And even then, at 19-20, I certainly knew better than Denny's, and so did my classmates. Even local diners and bar cheeseburgers would be preferable. Picking a chain like that even for a casual bite to eat when there are other options just screams lazy and unoriginal.

 

Fair enough..I thought she was another tweener...I dont keep track here anymore...And maybe you didnt, but most of the 19-22's nowadays are just barely making the transition from Chuck-E Cheese...:laugh:

 

But you all are missing my point, I think....

 

I am all about taking someone you care about to a nice place...Its great...And I wouldnt dare make her pay....Done it too many times to count..

 

But here is a guy, sorry to say, that doesn't have any sophistication, social status, etiquette or anything that might be beyond a Denny's..So, why bother trying to be someone that you aren't, especially with someone that, from what I am seeing, isnt getting hot and bothered by the attention she is getting from him??...Doesnt seem to make much sense..

 

Do you guys really believe that taking this girl to a higher quality restaurant is going to turn the corner for him? Personally, I dont think so, but if I am wrong here, Ill gladly eat my words...Its the internet, We can only glean what we can glean...Once the check is paid, then what ??

 

I guess my point is that when they are truly into you, there really isnt as much thought and introspection as some of you are making it out to be...

 

As always...Your mileage may vary...

 

TFY

Edited by thefooloftheyear
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Fair enough..I thought she was another tweener...I dont keep track here anymore...And maybe you didnt, but most of the 19-22's nowadays are just barely making the transition from Chuck-E Cheese...:laugh:

 

But you all are missing my point, I think....

 

I am all about taking someone you care about to a nice place...Its great...And I wouldnt dare make her pay....Done it too many times to count..

 

But here is a guy, sorry to say, that doesn't have any sophistication, social status, etiquette or anything that might be beyond a Denny's..So, why bother trying to be someone that you aren't, especially with someone that, from what I am seeing, isnt getting hot and bothered by the attention she is getting from him??...Doesnt seem to make much sense..

 

Do you guys really believe that taking this girl to a higher quality restaurant is going to turn the corner for him? Personally, I dont think so, but if I am wrong here, Ill gladly eat my words...Its the internet, We can only glean what we can glean...Once the check is paid, then what ??

 

I guess my point is that when they are truly into you, there really isnt as much thought and introspection as some of you are making it out to be...

 

As always...Your mileage may vary...

 

TFY

 

It's pretty blatantly obvious that SD needs to get out of his comfort zone and try new things. He shouldn't start things he doesn't intend on continuing, but would it really hurt him to try something different just this once? He may, I dunno, enjoy himself?

 

I never think people should be any less than who they are when they date. From my end this was more about improving SD rather than getting him a date.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear
It's pretty blatantly obvious that SD needs to get out of his comfort zone and try new things. He shouldn't start things he doesn't intend on continuing, but would it really hurt him to try something different just this once? He may, I dunno, enjoy himself?

 

I never think people should be any less than who they are when they date. From my end this was more about improving SD rather than getting him a date.

 

I see your point, and you have been very kind and supportive, but IMO, he'd be better served going out to a few casual joints and having a few laughs, sharing a a few pizzas and a pitcher of beer with his male friends and getting the "hang of it" in that way...

 

Oh, I forgot...No male friends..:(.Oh well....I guess you are right then...

 

But seriously, I dont see where he gets anything by getting a pat on the head from a girl that isnt interested...Its kinda humiliating...Nice gesture notwithstanding...

 

Like stated before...If you all are right here, then Ill eat my words....But Im just not reading it that way...

 

TFY

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that the OP needs to branch out and develop some new interests in order to generate attraction in women. It's one thing to say that if the attraction is there, it's there. But if it's NOT there, then you have some work to do. Leaving the house and learning about restaurants in your town (and other cool stuff that can ignite verve for life) is pretty basic.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

He mentioned a place where mains were $10 each. How is that in any way a fancy restaurant? She might not necessarily know what some of the menu items are, but that could be half the fun if she's adventurous, and certainly a memorable experience.

 

I think there is some disconnect here between posters on what construes a 'fancy restaurant'. Are you and SD considering anything that isn't a fast food or diner chain and isn't takeaway as a "fancy restaurant"?

 

Price doesn't equal fancy. There are **** places that are way overpriced, and some nice places that are cheap.

 

Fancy, to me, is the atmosphere.

 

The insistence on the necessity of "lighting" and linen napkins and wine glasses and waiters speaking italian is just so overboard.

 

Sure, it's adventurous to eat things you haven't heard of, and I personally will eat anything. It's just that the whole setup feels so contrived.

 

I'm sure living in a rural town where people live on dirt roads and ride a horse to the market, has something to do with it. A restaurant like that just would not exist here. Doesn't suit the demographic. Most people just cook at home.

Link to post
Share on other sites
CrystalCastles
Whatever the heck you mentioned earlier with waiters speaking Italian and unintelligible menu items that many college girls will never have heard of, is WAY TOO MUCH for grabbing food after dancing.

 

No, its not. There's a Greek/Italian restaurant close to my house. Main courses are generally 10 - 15$ each, the lighting and interior decoration is lovely, service is nice and they have a wine menu. It gives the feel of a fancy place without a person having to shell out big bucks to pay for the food.

 

The point is, if SD wants to woo a girl, he needs to put in a little effort. Dennys is ZERO effort. I'm 22, and my boyfriend has never taken me out to a fast food place. Even when we wanted a quick lunch somewhere close to his house, he'd take me to a nice place with a bar and good dinner menu that was ~10 - 12$ per plate and tasty. To me, that is him putting in the effort. It is thoughtful and also very sexy when a man thinks about the little details.

 

Its important for SD to give off a good impression of himself. Since he hasn't had the chance for the girl to fall madly for him yet, he needs to try a few things, like a thoughtful dinner location. Nobody here is talking about fancy, but you can bring a woman to a place with a fancy feel, still pay a reasonable price for the food and give off the impression that you are a considerate gentleman. IMO men like that are hawt. :love::love:

 

SD, you seem to cycle between extremes- either you come on too fast or you are too afraid to ask her out. I understand where you're coming from, but please really consider what people have written in this thread. I read (not all, but most) of the posts on here, and the advice is very reasonable and on par. I can see why you hesitate to ask her out before the dance, but I strongly suggest that if you feel like she's sending you positive signals, do invite her somewhere afterwards. Dinner is great, but even drinks at a nice place would be good (at least that's what I think). I think its a good idea to give yourself a chance to get to know her better in a one-on-one setting.

 

I'm really hoping things work out well, I'm hoping for a positive update! :)

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...