What is chemistry, and how does a guy inspire it?

[Flawlless]

I would LOVE for you to give us an example of a typical conversation that you might have with someone you meet and are interested in.....

 

Not just the " Hi , my name is blah blah blah " stuff .

 

How the conversation goes past that point .

 

So let's say we get past the introductions and you are sitting with said girl for lets say , 15 minutes chatting ....

 

Give us a play by play example of how it plays out if you don't mind ?!

[clia]

No, I don't know her type.

 

But I'm saying I don't think they are all that different from me for them to be her type and I'm not.

 

All I can guess is that I'm doing something wrong.

 

I really can't see how their life plans matter all that much or mine.

 

Do you know anything about these guys other than what they look like? Have you had a conversation with them? Part of the problem is that you are trying to make something black and white that simply isn't.

[Imajerk17]

The two guys don't seem to be all that similar, and one actually gives me gay vibes, though he may not be. They are both a little taller than me, and none of them are white. Honestly I think I'm better looking than they are.

 

That's why I'm not understanding why she isn't reacting to me the way she does with them.

 

I also don't think that they have significantly more interesting lives than I do. All that matters is how they make her feel when interacting with her.

 

That's the chemistry I'm not figuring out.

 

Well, RE your chemistry problem, I made this observation earlier: You are too safe when you need to be bold, and you are too pushy when you need to be more laid-back.

 

You need to call Lunch Girl TONIGHT but you were instead going to wait until you see her at the dance on Friday and then see if she wants to get something to eat after. You're acting like a friend already. I am warning you now somedude81, if you don't call tonight, don't be surprised if Lunch Girl meets another guy at the dance who isn't as "cautious" as you are, and walks off with him.

 

And yet you are planning on asking out Busy Girl again when she made it perfectly clear she only sees you as a friend. (You are also shooting yourself in the foot because if you play your cards right, Busy Girl might have friends to introduce to you.)

 

I have another observation though. I don't know much about how your interactions with Busy Girl went, BUT you did say how you were joking with her about how "she might be able to squeeze your into her schedule", and I remember cringing reading that. So I am thinking that your humor/bantering with Busy Girl was too goofy/low-status. Maybe the guy who got with Busy Girl joked with her, but I am damn sure he didn't joke about whether "she could fit him in her schedule before December" as you did. He probably joked with her as xxoo suggested to you in one of your previous threads.

 

Meanwhile how do you know those other guys don't have more interesting lives than you do? It definitely would help to have funny/interesting/cool stories from your experiences and you have stuff going in your life that you are passionate about. Both to get her on the first date AND to get her interested past the first date. It's really too bad that you keep dismissing our advice on the "rest of your life" stuff as being "off-topic".

Edited November 12, 2014 by Imajerk17

[OwMyEyeball]

Thing with chemistry is that some people spend far too much time in the library (their intellect / linear thought / stuck inside their own head) that they begin to forget about the lab (their emotions / experiential wisdom / living outside of themselves). What could take years of theory to explore and understand can be understood in a second by spending some time mixing things up.

 

Sad thing here is the only way to reach you is through the library whereas the best thing for you to get any traction is for a chemist to grab you by the collar and throw you into the lab.

 

You're not going to find the answer you seek on here, SD. You're just not.

 

It's like explaining colours to someone who refuses to open their eyes.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Know interesting people? Lol so women would turn down a guy who didn't have high status/ interesting friends?

 

How dumb

 

Um … no. Most people like other people who are INTERESTING, who have stuff to talk about, have experiences every day to talk and laugh about, stuff they love or subjects that get them all fired up like maybe music or politics, and of course who bring new and interesting people into your life. What is wrong with that? "High status" no. Interesting, yea!

 

Just because a guy is not abusive or fat or ugly does not make him an attractive character! All that and all he wants to do is have sex! NOOOO! Somebody please explain to me what the draw would be to get involved?

 

Make something of yourself if you want to attract other people Doesn't everybody know this especially older ones?

[somedude81]

Thing with chemistry is that some people spend far too much time in the library (their intellect / linear thought / stuck inside their own head) that they begin to forget about the lab (their emotions / experiential wisdom / living outside of themselves). What could take years of theory to explore and understand can be understood in a second by spending some time mixing things up.

 

Sad thing here is the only way to reach you is through the library whereas the best thing for you to get any traction is for a chemist to grab you by the collar and throw you into the lab.

 

You're not going to find the answer you seek on here, SD. You're just not.

 

It's like explaining colours to someone who refuses to open their eyes.

 

How else am I supposed to learn chemistry?

 

Right now I'm trying to practice on girls I know IRL, but it's just trial and error and I have no idea what I'm doing. As anybody whose done any level of chemistry should know, it's simply dangerous to mix random chemicals together and hope for the best. That's exactly what I feel like I'm doing.

[xxoo]

How else am I supposed to learn chemistry?

 

Observation is how most people learn, in addition to trial and error.

 

Again, that would fall within the scope of a proper social circle, where people are experiencing various normal stages of dating and relationships. You wouldn't have to guess to much if you simply could ask a woman you know well, "What do you see in that guy?" (good naturedly, not critically)

 

I think you know I've got a teenager. I see this happening in that peer group. They observe and model after flirting behaviors they see on tv, on IG, twitter, in videos, in school among peers, etc. Everybody's suddenly "thirsty" and "feeling some type of way" and whatever the latest thing is that I haven't caught onto yet.

 

Do you watch tv and movies? Do you observe the patterns of flirting that you see? What couples appeal to you?

[somedude81]

Mate, if you were here, I'd give you a pat on the back and tell you to stop. Stop analyzing why she doesn't like you and what you "did wrong".

 

I know. But I just don't want to give up. Yes I know that I'm only hurting myself. When it comes to girls I like I'm extremely stubborn. I'll keep trying with a girl tell she tells me to leave her alone, or she ignores me.

 

The possibility exists that no matter what you did, she probably wouldn't have been interested in you - hell, she communicated that pretty early.

 

All I know is that she's not interested in me now. There is a small chance I can change that. But that most likely requires the use of knowledge I currently don't have.

 

You gotta take it on the chin. I've asked myself all the same questions "What was I doing that was wrong? Why doesn't she like me like those other guys?". Truth is, it doesn't really matter focusing on the details. Yeah we could always communicate a little better, have a more varied life, be fitter - but even that won't guarantee the girl. If she doesn't have that visceral gut attraction to you (either in a short space of time or after a while), then no matter how brilliant you are, she won't be into you. That's life man.

 

At least I feel better that you understand me.

 

It's just so frustrating about this girl. She's the first girl since my ex dumped me that I've really liked. She's the only girl I liked in a year, and I really want her to be the one to replace my ex. The fact that she's single makes me feel that she's supposed to be it. I know I must sound crazy.

 

I understand that feeling though, that "all of them are rejecting me". Again, you need more volume, a wider radar of women. You can only really do that by actually trying to build a more expansive life, but that's up to you at the end of the day. You don't seem all that interested in doing so. But I can tell you, you at least improve your odds of finding someone.

 

Yeah I know about the numbers game. But I take rejection too personally. Getting rejected by a lot of girls that I'm interested in would crush me. What I need more than everything in the world is a confidence boost. Not getting knocked down.

 

 

Fair enough, but again - there's a choice to be made here. Do you want to keep shunning platonic friendships with girls because you can't control your need to be with them? Or do you actually want to confront that lack of emotional boundaries so that you can actually enjoy a friendship for what it is and end up meeting more women?

[MidwestUSA]

 

It's just so frustrating about this girl. She's the first girl since my ex dumped me that I've really liked. She's the only girl I liked in a year, and I really want her to be the one to replace my ex. The fact that she's single makes me feel that she's supposed to be it. I know I must sound crazy.

 

 

 

 

 

It not only sounds crazy, but it reiterates the fact that you look at women as acquisitions. That because YOU want HER, she should want you.

It doesn't work that way.

 

 

Observe the guys around her. Drop your 'I think I'm better looking' attitude, and simply watch.

 

 

That you're obsessing over these two guys you know nothing about is disturbing. Have you tried getting to know them?

[somedude81]

Observation is how most people learn, in addition to trial and error.

 

Again, that would fall within the scope of a proper social circle, where people are experiencing various normal stages of dating and relationships. You wouldn't have to guess to much if you simply could ask a woman you know well, "What do you see in that guy?" (good naturedly, not critically)

 

Ah that's an idea. I never had a conversation like that with my female friends. Heh, I actually had a conversation with a girl about a guys she doesn't like and all the things he's doing wrong. But never about a guy she likes.

 

Honestly most of the time I like my female friends and don't want to know about guys they like. I'm actually not interested in my current friend, but I don't know if there is anybody she likes. Could I ask her, and how to start the conversation?

 

I think you know I've got a teenager. I see this happening in that peer group. They observe and model after flirting behaviors they see on tv, on IG, twitter, in videos, in school among peers, etc. Everybody's suddenly "thirsty" and "feeling some type of way" and whatever the latest thing is that I haven't caught onto yet.

 

Do you watch tv and movies? Do you observe the patterns of flirting that you see? What couples appeal to you?

 

Eh, the flirting on TV and movies is too fake for me. Nothing is ever awkward and everybody has a quick funny comeback to everything. It's not real.

[somedude81]

It not only sounds crazy, but it reiterates the fact that you look at women as acquisitions. That because YOU want HER, she should want you.

It doesn't work that way.

 

I know it doesn't. That's just how I feel. Yes I want her.

 

Observe the guys around her. Drop your 'I think I'm better looking' attitude, and simply watch.

 

 

That you're obsessing over these two guys you know nothing about is disturbing. Have you tried getting to know them?

 

I've briefly spoken to one of them since he was also there when we went dancing. It was that dude, busy girl, one girl from the class and her roommate. I talked to that guy a little bit and was just being friendly.

 

Right now I see these guys as direct competition and because of that I don't like them. I'm sure they're decent guys, but I have no diesire to interact with them.

 

Nothing they seem to be doing with her is out of the ordinary, so I have no idea why she prefers them over me.

[Imajerk17]

Stop. Stop now.

 

somedude81, I can feel your intensity and desperation through the computer screen and it is actually creepy. I wonder how it comes across in real life, no matter how you keep insisting that it isn't detectable.

 

As far as her relationship with those guys, what those guys probably DO have over you is that they don't have this single-minded intensity to win her over, despite not really knowing her, as you seem to (desperation). They are easy-going and fun while you are coming across as Guy To Keep My Distance From.

[xxoo]

Ah that's an idea. I never had a conversation like that with my female friends. Heh, I actually had a conversation with a girl about a guys she doesn't like and all the things he's doing wrong. But never about a guy she likes.

 

Honestly most of the time I like my female friends and don't want to know about guys they like. I'm actually not interested in my current friend, but I don't know if there is anybody she likes. Could I ask her, and how to start the conversation?

 

If you are friends, she should sometimes make a comment about a guy. Capitalize on the moment and ask, "what do you see in that guy?" If you say this VERY lightly, with a lighthearted expression, she may tell you.

 

If you want to know what a girl like Busy Girl sees in these two guys (who could just be friends who are genuinely ok with being friends), be less jealous and more friendly and you might actually get pulled into the group. Then you'd REALLY learn a lot.

 

 

 

Eh, the flirting on TV and movies is too fake for me. Nothing is ever awkward and everybody has a quick funny comeback to everything. It's not real.

 

Not true. There's a range. Ross and Rachel (Friends), Jim and Pam (The office), Oliver and Felicity (Arrow), are a few with a lot of awkwardness but lots of flirting and chemistry. In those types of series, the writers drag it out over seasons, so it's a lot of tension.

[ThaWholigan]

I know. But I just don't want to give up. Yes I know that I'm only hurting myself. When it comes to girls I like I'm extremely stubborn. I'll keep trying with a girl tell she tells me to leave her alone, or she ignores me.

 

That not only makes you stubborn, but (and I'm sorry to say) it also makes you willfully ignorant and incredibly stupid because you know better. A poor analogy, but you have to pick your battles. You've avoided all the battles you need to fight and gone straight to boss battles without a shield, sword or any moves.

 

One difference between me and you is that when I make a move, I'm extremely direct. I don't really like to beat around the bush TOO much. Once I've made the move, I go all in. It doesn't work out most of the time for me either, but it gives me time to get over. I waited years to tell my biggest crush I liked her. It started from an innocuous convo, but soon as I got a green light, I was all in! Sure, it fizzled out before anything ever got going, but it wasn't meant to be with her. It did hurt, but I had to accept it and also to get used to the fact that I put myself in that position by building it up for so long from afar.

 

All I know is that she's not interested in me now. There is a small chance I can change that. But that most likely requires the use of knowledge I currently don't have.

 

There is no chance, with or without knowledge. Trust me, I've been exactly where you are. Sh*t, my old crush was a "busy girl" too. When I got laid and finally got dating experience under my belt, I'd seen her a few times afterwards, even this year. Has anything changed? Nope. Same as it ever was.

 

At least I feel better that you understand me.

 

It's just so frustrating about this girl. She's the first girl since my ex dumped me that I've really liked. She's the only girl I liked in a year, and I really want her to be the one to replace my ex. The fact that she's single makes me feel that she's supposed to be it. I know I must sound crazy.

 

Of course I understand you - I've been exactly where you are and experienced similar feelings. My guess is you lack emotional boundaries aswell. I am an extremely emotionally sensitive person and it is only through facing my emotions head on that I have been able to be as balanced as I am now. I have built my boundaries and been able to manage my emotions as effectively as possible.

 

You will have to find ways to do this - I think your life kinda hinges on being able to do this.

 

Yeah I know about the numbers game. But I take rejection too personally. Getting rejected by a lot of girls that I'm interested in would crush me. What I need more than everything in the world is a confidence boost. Not getting knocked down.

 

I didn't mean a numbers game, I meant widening your pool. That means more numbers, but I don't mean go crazy and ask every girl out. Having a more expansive life, particularly socially, can lead to social opportunities such as meeting women (and even other men) in various different environments and not just college girls. It's incredibly helpful and I've met girls I could potentially be interested in just from doing this. Remember, I'm not exactly the most socially adept person in the world, but I've been learning on the job too, so that I am competent at it.

 

Once you do it, I guarantee you'll see the value in it. At least from a mundane "I want a GF" point of view anyway!

[Teknoe]

I made this observation earlier: You are too safe when you need to be bold, and you are too pushy when you need to be more laid-back.

 

+100!

 

Excellent observation Imajerk. Now that you bring it up, it does sum up SD to a tee. I wonder... if it's some deeply embedded/rooted issue where he is subconsciously sabotaging himself.

 

He seems hell bent barging into losing propositions, while avoiding scenarios where victory is actually... possible.

 

I know this may not make sense but it goes back to my theory that he doesn't know how to be emotionally vulnerable. He may even be scared of it, as evident by his having no friends and keeping pretty much to himself.

 

I believe he wants a fantasy girlfriend. 20-24, big boobs, willing to give him "the sex."

 

I don't believe he wants a real girlfriend, someone on his level, someone close to his age... because that's much more likely to happen.

 

The 20-24 year old fantasy is not gonna happen. It happened once, and that was lightning. Odds are it won't happen again. So by pursuing these fantasies, it fuels his delusional illusion he's built up that he wants to have a girlfriend when really, he doesn't want to improve in any way and just hopes for a magical GF to fall out of the sky.

 

After six years of keeping the same SD threads over and over, I'm starting to believe my theory is more accurate than not.

 

Because if he really was serious about finding a GF, why isn't he pursuing meet up single groups, or better yet, SPEED DATING?

 

Good theory though, Imajerk. I think you hit the nail on the head. The better his chance for success (i.e. speed dating, making friends, etc.) the farther he runs away from it. It's like he's afraid to change because that will force him to step outside his comfort zone.

 

And the better his chance for failure (i.e. pursuing young college girls who clearly are not into him), the more he runs TOWARDS that. Then when he fails, he chalks it up to women or his not being able to flirt, be tall enough, etc.

 

There's a deep psychological underlying issue here.

[thefooloftheyear]

I know it doesn't. That's just how I feel. Yes I want her.

 

 

 

I've briefly spoken to one of them since he was also there when we went dancing. It was that dude, busy girl, one girl from the class and her roommate. I talked to that guy a little bit and was just being friendly.

 

Right now I see these guys as direct competition and because of that I don't like them. I'm sure they're decent guys, but I have no diesire to interact with them.

 

Nothing they seem to be doing with her is out of the ordinary, so I have no idea why she prefers them over me.

 

Look....

 

If you line up 10 women that are in succesful LTR's and put pictures of all of their exes and what they do on a piece of paper, its probably no better than a 50 % chance they are with what you, I, Midwest, xxoo, or Mr Magoo thinks is "ideal"...Same for guys..heck, ive tossed back absolute knockouts...because they had issues that I couldnt deal with...I dont care how good they look or what they are capable of in the bedroom..

 

The point is you dont know anything about why they are with those people...And actual attraction makes little "sense", in the grand scheme...

 

About all you can do is be the best man you can be...And thats all anyone is saying here..You need to refocus your goals away from this and direct it toward other things....Things that actually far more important at this time....Unlike the 22 year old guys that are more the speed of these chicks, your time window is closing fast on having a life....You are going to blink your eyes and you will be 40....If you think its hard getting laid now, how well do you think you are going to do when you are a chubby, balding 40 year old thats working the counter at Radio Shack for 9 bucks an hour..??

 

 

The way you objectify women in your postings has to be seething from your pores in real life...That will be an instant turn off...to any women of any age...You talk about replacing your ex with someone else...Thats a bizarre statement...And if you dont know why, then you are really in trouble here....

 

get it together....ditch this shyt and take control..as a man would...

 

TFY

Edited November 13, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[Teknoe]

Look....

 

If you line up 10 women that are in succesful LTR's and put pictures of all of their exes and what they do on a piece of paper, its probably no better than a 50 % chance they are with what you, I, Midwest, xxoo, or Mr Magoo thinks is "ideal"...Same for guys..heck, ive tossed back absolute knockouts...because they had issues that I couldnt deal with...I dont care how good they look or what they are capable of in the bedroom..

 

The point is you dont know anything about why they are with those people...And actual attraction makes little "sense", in the grand scheme...

 

About all you can do is be the best man you can be...And thats all anyone is saying here..You need to refocus your goals away from this and direct it toward other things....Things that actually far more important at this time....Unlike the 22 year old guys that are more the speed of these chicks, your time window is closing fast on having a life....You are going to blink your eyes and you will be 40....If you think its hard getting laid now, how well do you think you are going to do when you are a chubby, balding 40 year old thats working the counter at Radio Shack for 9 bucks an hour..??

 

 

The way you objectify women in your postings has to be seething from your pores in real life...That will be an instant turn off...to any women of any age...You talk about replacing your ex with someone else...Thats a bizarre statement...And if you dont know why, then you are really in trouble here....

 

get it together....ditch this shyt and take control..as a man would...

 

TFY

 

How many of these "man up" posts have WE (as in LoveShack as a whole) have made to SD in the past 4 years? When he came in 2008 people were like oh he has some issues like the rest of us. It's all good.

 

It wasn't long (around 2011) that people started noticing a disturbing pattern with SD. He posts the same thread after thread, wrapped in a slightly different pair of pants, and the same 12 to 15 posters return with the same type of advice phrased in slightly different ways. Each of us trying to find a magical way to word the things we've been preaching to him for years in which he would be able to finally process and "get."

 

But isn't it clear that at some point, it becomes clear when someone doesn't want to make the changes in order to change?

 

Then, we become enablers. I think he gets his rocks off on the fact that his threads blow up here. It's a substitute for real life friends and interaction. SD always creates such a desire within us to post in his threads... and this has been going on now for at least 4 years strong.

 

Who will see the light first... him, or us?

[rester]

Right now I see these guys as direct competition and because of that I don't like them. I'm sure they're decent guys, but I have no diesire to interact with them.

 

That is going to be clearly obvious to all of them, including busy girl. Knowing your emotional state around her, I would be friendly to her but don't interact with her unless you have to.

 

 

Yeah I know about the numbers game. But I take rejection too personally. Getting rejected by a lot of girls that I'm interested in would crush me. What I need more than everything in the world is a confidence boost. Not getting knocked down.

 

 

 

You're trapped in an endless circle. You lack confidence because you aren't getting the approval you want from these girls, but because you lack the confidence you have a hard time with girls and seemingly people in general.

 

You can't base all of your self worth on whether or not some young girl with big boobs and a great personality wants to be your girlfriend or not. You're giving a girl that you've only known for a couple months all the power to the confidence you have in yourself. Don't let anyone have that power over you. Create your own self worth through the choices YOU make, not the choices someone that doesn't like you makes.

[Tik]

By pushing people's buttons. Learn to push the boundaries of interaction. That's why a girl loses interest in a guy because he does not make it obvious that he likes a girl during the early stages of meeting a female. Now had he made his intentions clear from the start, things may have been different or at least the girl will always see him as a guy interested and not simply a friend. Don't settle for a simple conversation; tease them, pick on them, hug them, playfully kiss the girl on the cheek. Things that seem risky in a friendship is what helps to elevate it to something more.

 

Talking with friends, don't be afraid to disagree. Don't be afraid to say what you believe. Don't be afraid to argue. Chemistry is inspiring emotion. Learn how to inspire emotion and it's a little step to inspiring it with woman.

[yajiuma]

If I remember correctly you are not enrolled in the dance class but show up ostensibly to practice but with the real purpose being to meet girls.

 

At this late stage (you have 4 weeks left?) I would not go to Busy Girl's particular class anymore. I feel from the state of your posts regarding her and quite frankly your emotionally immature response to the whole situation, that the remaining few lessons will just serve to make you feel more jealous, bitter and inadequate.

 

I don't think you have mentioned being interested in other girls in that particular class, so I assume your entire focus is just on her every time; how she interacts with other guys, how much/little attention she pays you etc. ,even though she has made it quite clear she wants no more than friendship. This class has evolved to an emotionally draining event instead of the invigorating/positive time you envisaged you would be having .

 

I would really like to see you finish strong and confident about your coming future after college regardless of your "dating status". Don't get bogged down in petty stuff now you're in reach of graduating.

[somedude81]

You're trapped in an endless circle. You lack confidence because you aren't getting the approval you want from these girls, but because you lack the confidence you have a hard time with girls and seemingly people in general.

 

Exactly.

 

I'm stuck in a loop.

 

I have been for a long time. Though last year I wasn't in the loop because I got lucky and a girl fell for me and we dated for six months. Unfortunately I really thought that relationship was going to work out instead of doing the smart thing and trying to pursue other girls at the same time. When I was with her my confidence was at it's highest and I should have been looking for a back up girl(s)

 

 

You can't base all of your self worth on whether or not some young girl with big boobs and a great personality wants to be your girlfriend or not. You're giving a girl that you've only known for a couple months all the power to the confidence you have in yourself. Don't let anyone have that power over you. Create your own self worth through the choices YOU make, not the choices someone that doesn't like you makes.

 

I know that I shouldn't be doing it.

 

The problem is that there is nothing in my life that I can base my self worth on. I'm struggling with women, I'm struggling in school. Nothing is going the way I want it to. So I pretty much always have no confidence.

 

I need something good to happen to give me a jump start, but nothing does no matter how much I try.

[organizedchaos]

Exactly.

 

I'm stuck in a loop.

 

I have been for a long time. Though last year I wasn't in the loop because I got lucky and a girl fell for me and we dated for six months. Unfortunately I really thought that relationship was going to work out instead of doing the smart thing and trying to pursue other girls at the same time. When I was with her my confidence was at it's highest and I should have been looking for a back up girl(s)

 

WTF? why would you be looking for a backup while having a girlfriend??

 

You really have some messed up logic,

 

 

 

I know that I shouldn't be doing it.

 

The problem is that there is nothing in my life that I can base my self worth on. I'm struggling with women, I'm struggling in school. Nothing is going the way I want it to. So I pretty much always have no confidence.

 

I need something good to happen to give me a jump start, but nothing does no matter how much I try.

 

And yet somehow, you think some 20 year old is going to find you irresistible in this state of mind with all this going for you? SMH.

 

YOURE STRUGGLING IN SCHOOL AND YET ALL YOU CAN FOCUS ON IS GETTING A GF?

 

Why the hell aren't you 1000% focused on finishing school and getting a job? Are you that stubborn not to see how that in itself will build your confidence?

 

Jesus H Christ

[somedude81]

WTF? why would you be looking for a backup while having a girlfriend??

 

You really have some messed up logic,

 

To avoid the situation I'm in now.

 

If I had a back up girl, I would have been fine when my ex dumped me. Or I wouldn't have appeared so needy or whatever to my ex because I had another girl on the side, and she wouldn't have dumped me at all.

 

Nobody is going to argue with me that the best time to try and meet women is when I'm feeling my best and have high confidence. The worst time to meet women is when I'm feeling crappy and have low confidence.

 

YOURE STRUGGLING IN SCHOOL AND YET ALL YOU CAN FOCUS ON IS GETTING A GF?

 

Why the hell aren't you 1000% focused on finishing school and getting a job? Are you that stubborn not to see how that in itself will build your confidence?

 

I am extremely focused in school and I'm putting in tons of effort. So much that it's burning me out. At least four hours of math 5 days a week. And then I still do poorly on the tests. That fu*king sucks knowing that I'm working so hard and not getting the results I need. This stupid class is making me feel like an idiot and it's really bringing me down.

[organizedchaos]

To avoid the situation I'm in now.

 

If I had a back up girl, I would have been fine when my ex dumped me. Or I wouldn't have appeared so needy or whatever to my ex because I had another girl on the side, and she wouldn't have dumped me at all.

 

Nobody is going to argue with me that the best time to try and meet women is when I'm feeling my best and have high confidence. The worst time to meet women is when I'm feeling crappy and have low confidence.

 

Completely messed up SD. You do not look for a backup girl when you are in a relationship!!!

 

Ugh, I can't even go any further with your twisted logic and outlook on relationships.

[somedude81]

Completely messed up SD. You do not look for a backup girl when you are in a relationship!!!

 

Ugh, I can't even go any further with your twisted logic and outlook on relationships.

 

If that's the case then you have no reason to post in threads I make.