I'm not your friend

[CoolKids]

No reason to lie, we are all friends here My using that line is not because I like that song...wink wink

 

For the record, Jessie J is fine. Legs for days.

[CoolKids]

Very true as well. Relationships are risks. You could spend 10 years with someone, only to find out they been cheating on you since the beginning. That's 10 years of your life wasted spending it with a piece of **** of a person.

 

Try 20 years. I know a couple that happened to. Poor dude was horrified at what he found out.

 

These days it's easier to cheat and sadly, easier to get away with. Loyalty is now a rare gem since cheating doesn't seem all that punishable these days.

[Diezel]

Guys always see the friendship thing as a negative. The truth is, it gives you a perfect opportunity for her to change her mind about you. But men always take it as an insult and assume it's all over with. What guys don't know is that women are often impressed with the ones who are persistent even in the face of the friendship thing or other obstacles.

 

I just LOL'ed so hard.

 

Yes, guys, stay in the friendzone for weeks or even MONTHS... you'll truly impress someone alright.

 

There's a reason why guys think of it as an "insult" most of the time. Think about it.

[Divasu]

Very true as well. Relationships are risks. You could spend 10 years with someone, only to find out they been cheating on you since the beginning. That's 10 years of your life wasted spending it with a piece of **** of a person.

 

That was my mistake too. 1 year into the relationship, we broke up, got back together. Few months later I discovered he was still seeing a woman who apparently he met while we were broken up. He ended things with her.

 

Few years later he proposed. Shortly after we became engaged, I find he had befriended a woman at a bar and told her he was "single", they kissed or whichever, she called his house (while I was there) and that's how I find out.

 

Six years, wasted. Should have never gone back the 2nd time. This man still reaches out to me this day, mean while he is married with kids. Good god.

 

(put me in the thread jack camp:bunny:)

[NJ123]

That was my mistake too. 1 year into the relationship, we broke up, got back together. Few months later I discovered he was still seeing a woman who apparently he met while we were broken up. He ended things with her.

 

Few years later he proposed. Shortly after we became engaged, I find he had befriended a woman at a bar and told her he was "single", they kissed or whichever, she called his house (while I was there) and that's how I find out.

 

Six years, wasted. Should have never gone back the 2nd time. This man still reaches out to me this day, mean while he is married with kids. Good god.

 

(put me in the thread jack camp:bunny:)

 

It seems if it don't work out the first time with someone than it'll never ever work out. I don't get why so many go back to their exes. Seems it's always "I still have feelings for my ex" or "I found out he/she went back with her ex". It's just like what the ****? Just seems it's doomed from the start.

[CoolKids]

It seems if it don't work out the first time with someone than it'll never ever work out. I don't get why so many go back to their exes. Seems it's always "I still have feelings for my ex" or "I found out he/she went back with her ex". It's just like what the ****? Just seems it's doomed from the start.

 

"People fear the unknown, so they suffer that which is familiar." Vietnamese proverb.

[Tayken]

For the record, Jessie J is fine. Legs for days.

 

 

Tis OK, if you like girls like that. Am more into women, real women. Just for the record

 

Six years, wasted.

 

Wow....Was it that much of a looker and great in bed? I mean what is it that makes someone waste 6yrs with someone who has blatantly displayed their dishonesty?

[Divasu]

It seems if it don't work out the first time with someone than it'll never ever work out. I don't get why so many go back to their exes. Seems it's always "I still have feelings for my ex" or "I found out he/she went back with her ex". It's just like what the ****? Just seems it's doomed from the start.

 

I know.

 

I've done it twice (2 different men).

 

First time, it was after a few years and we inadvertently ran into one another and things just kind of happened. I'm glad we ran into each other in that case, because it was a good relationship, no cheating, he was at the time my best friend and he thought the same towards me. This was in my early twenties and we eventually grew apart.

 

The man I was engaged to, I went after him after we broke up a year into it when I should have never looked back.

[NJ123]

I know.

 

I've done it twice (2 different men).

 

First time, it was after a few years and we inadvertently ran into one another and things just kind of happened. I'm glad we ran into each other in that case, because it was a good relationship, no cheating, he was at the time my best friend and he thought the same towards me. This was in my early twenties and we eventually grew apart.

 

The man I was engaged to, I went after him after we broke up a year into it when I should have never looked back.

 

Well you got 2 strikes. You still haven't struck out yet. Maybe you'll have some balls & foul balls, but you can still aim for the home run.

 

I know that sounded corny as all ****, but I came up with it at random lol.

[Divasu]

TWow....Was it that much of a looker and great in bed? I mean what is it that makes someone waste 6yrs with someone who has blatantly displayed their dishonesty?

 

He was handsome, yes, but not in the best of shape physically just pretty average. I think it was more of an emotional pull that brought me back...

 

I will give you an example that destroyed me on the inside, at the time:

 

He took me out to a lovely dinner to celebrate our 6 month anniversary. We were having a wonderful time. As we're having dinner, I don't recall how the conversation came up, but he referred to me as a "slut" (for lack of a better word) and tears instantly flooded down my face. I ran out of the restaurant because I was just, stunned. He came after me, and apologized profusely telling me how "beautiful" I am and begged for my forgiveness.

 

The above example is just one, of many. That should shed some light on the emotional state I was in, at the time.

[NJ123]

He was handsome, yes, but not in the best of shape physically just pretty average. I think it was more of an emotional pull that brought me back...

 

I will give you an example that destroyed me on the inside, at the time:

 

He took me out to a lovely dinner to celebrate our 6 month anniversary. We were having a wonderful time. As we're having dinner, I don't recall how the conversation came up, but he referred to me as a "slut" (for lack of a better word) and tears instantly flooded down my face. I ran out of the restaurant because I was just, stunned. He came after me, and apologized profusely telling me how "beautiful" I am and begged for my forgiveness.

 

The above example is just one, of many. That should shed some light on the emotional state I was in, at the time.

 

You should have dumped him right than & there. After 6 months, he was already abusing you like that. I wish you would have seen that as a huge red flag & dumped him right there & never looked back.

[Tayken]

You should have dumped him right than & there. After 6 months, he was already abusing you like that. I wish you would have seen that as a huge red flag & dumped him right there & never looked back.

 

 

I concur, and hope this poster uses this as a lessons learned moving forward. The moment you meet a guy, and he starts to belittle you, your flags should be going up instantly. He can run after you all he wants, and say whatever to try and make up for what just happened. Same applies to men too with women that act as such, dump them instantly.

 

Stories like this just goes to show that some people are suckers for pain, and think they can't do better.

[Divasu]

You should have dumped him right than & there. After 6 months, he was already abusing you like that. I wish you would have seen that as a huge red flag & dumped him right there & never looked back.

 

You're 100% right.

 

It was easier to suffer in silence. And, it took me a long time to acknowledge how weak and stripped down I was. So, I consider that call from the woman while we were engaged, a blessing in disguise.

[Tayken]

You're 100% right.

 

It was easier to suffer in silence. And, it took me a long time to acknowledge how weak and stripped down I was. So, I consider that call from the woman while we were engaged, a blessing in disguise.

 

Good for you....hope that was the wake up call that you needed, and that situation will guide you moving forward. You sound young with your life ahead of you, and trust me when I say men will come and go.

[Taramere]

I kept pursuing her for months even though she told me more than once that she just wanted to be friends. I know, bad bad move. Eventually I gave up and stopped contacting her. Two months after I went silent she sent me an email claiming that she wanted to be on good terms and that I should shoot her a text when I was in town. This message didn't sit well with me and I straight up told her that I wasn't interested in a friendship and wanted to date her. She deleted me from Facebook and I haven't heard from her since....

 

Girls; How would you take it if a guy did this to you? Would you have more respect for him? less respect? hurt? not care?

 

I would understand his feelings about not wanting to be friend-zoned, but I would be somewhat offended too. She rejected you romantically but said she wanted to be friends - and appeared to mean it. Then you rejected her friendship. I would delete you from Facebook too.

 

I know a lot of people say it's childish to delete people from Facebook, but I don't think it is at all. If somebody is making it clear that they don't want a friendship with you, why maintain them on your social network? I'd feel uncomfortable about somebody who had let me know they felt that way seeing any personal stuff I put in status updates etc, and deleting them is less hassle than it is to block your updates from them.

 

Were you expecting to hear from her after you told her you didn't want to be friends with her?

Edited November 2, 2014 by Taramere

[Jame22]

Were you expecting to hear from her after you told her you didn't want to be friends with her?

 

When she dumped me she told me that I "acted like I wasn't interested." I took that as try harder. When I continued to pursue and she didn't reciprocate I started to get pissed. Almost felt a little played. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt me but she did. I wouldn't of continued to chase if she hadn't told me that.

 

at the time I just wanted her gone..i wanted it to be over with and I guess I still do. I don't necessarily regret what I said because I meant it but looking back I would of just not responded to the email. There's just a part of me that wonders how bad I messed up.

Edited November 2, 2014 by Jame22

[Taramere]

When she dumped me she told me that I "acted like I wasn't interested." I took that as try harder. When I continued to pursue and she didn't reciprocate I started to get pissed. Almost felt a little played. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt me but she did. I wouldn't of continued to chase if she hadn't told me that.

 

Yes, that's a strange situation. Very confusing. It sounds as though she was trying to avoid owning her decision to end the relationship.

 

at the time I just wanted her gone..i wanted it to be over with and I guess I still do. I don't necessarily regret what I said because I meant it but looking back I would of just not responded to the email. There's just a part of me that wonders how bad I messed up.

 

I think that so long as overall you prefer not to see her again (albeit there may understandably be some sad feelings caught up with that preference) then you haven't messed up.