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I was the other woman, but I'm not anymore


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I so agree with all the other posters here. An expensive porcelain doll for a small child while the teenage mom is struggling to just to get by? There is something so odd about that. It's almost insulting that you would buy such an item for a poor family. If you wanted to spend that much money why not buy stuff for the child that she needed but mom couldn't afford or at least buy her some cheaper toys that she could at least play with. Giving a gift like that to a poor family comes off as somewhat arrogant and haughty. Normally I would give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that while your gift giving is somewhat misguided your heart is in the right place, but given how vengeful you are over the selling of the dumb doll I don't think your heart was ever in the right place at all. I think you are controlling and that you consider yourself better than others and lord help those who don't bow down to your superiority because you will go after them like a rabid dog.

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Jeezus....overreaction much? For Christs sake it was a doll... She was a teenage mother probably struggling. Its just a doll, get over it already...

 

 

And for that you sleep with her boyfriend? Really? Slightly disproportionate reaction, don't you think?

 

 

Rationalise it all you like - its just nasty. That's a really awful horrible thing to do to another human being - friend or not.

 

 

You don't have the moral high ground over this... at all. Get counselling to try and understand why you are such a vindictive person.

I only listed one of the gifts. The doll is just one of them. As I've stated, I was very highly moral and nice and sweet until I was hurt. Then, I hurt back

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Your reaction, or rather your overreaction was absurd and disturbing. You engaged in an affair with another woman's boyfriend because she sold a doll and a few other piddling gifts you bought her. Gifts! Do you have any idea how completely irrational you sound?

 

Not just for the affair but for the gifts to begin with. You bought a child - who, by your own admission, had 'nothing else to play with' - an extremely fragile and expensive toy. Why? That's like giving a homeless man satin bedsheets. Impractical and frankly, mildly offensive and very out of touch. It's like you have no concept of poverty or practicality. Children have no concept of monetary value and a poor child certainly couldn't really grasp that concept so this feels a lot more like you throwing your comparative wealth in their faces rather than some charitable act.

 

If she needed staples like bread and milk, what on earth were she and her child supposed to do with an expensive "toy" - one toy which in fact, is hardly considered an actual item for playtime and serves more as decoration or a collectors item.

 

I have to ask, mentally...have you ever been diagnosed with anything? A personality disorder perhaps? I mean I'm trying to figure out the root of your warped thinking. Is she prettier than you?

I also loaned her money and purchased that powder milk. Is she prettier than me? It depends on who you ask. I think we're both nice looking.

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Is that supposed to make it any better? Somebody told you something about your friend and you just believed it? Without giving her the benefit of the doubt or even talking to her about it? You were not a good friend to her at all, so I'm not sure why you're still in her life at this point.

they knew a lot of details

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No child, with "no toys" doesn't need a "top of the line porceline doll" to play with -- you can't PLAY with one of those - it will get broken and I can only imagine your ire if the child broke it and you would have blamed her mom for not supervising her properly. It is evident you don't have kids.

 

 

 

Of course she couldn't trust you --- you proved that easily when you chose to have sex with her boyfriend! She knew you weren't trustworthy. You probably had the same 'superior air' around her that you have here discussing what SHE CHOSE to do with the gift(s) you got her kids. Again, have you ever been so poor that you can't FEED YOUR KIDS? No, I guarantee you haven't and I hope you never do. Kids don't NEED expensive gifts - most are thrilled with dollar store items. I don't understand how you can't see that what she did was FOR her family - not something against you.

 

You say you are with someone new - yet you picked up the phone and called the former lover because the former friend wants the truth out of you.

 

Please - take time to go volunteer at a shelter -- I think the experience will greatly open your eyes to how your behavior and actions are completely wrong. Maybe one day you will look back on this situation and realize how little compassion you have for others and you regret your behavior.

She wronged me.

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I so agree with all the other posters here. An expensive porcelain doll for a small child while the teenage mom is struggling to just to get by? There is something so odd about that. It's almost insulting that you would buy such an item for a poor family. If you wanted to spend that much money why not buy stuff for the child that she needed but mom couldn't afford or at least buy her some cheaper toys that she could at least play with. Giving a gift like that to a poor family comes off as somewhat arrogant and haughty. Normally I would give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that while your gift giving is somewhat misguided your heart is in the right place, but given how vengeful you are over the selling of the dumb doll I don't think your heart was ever in the right place at all. I think you are controlling and that you consider yourself better than others and lord help those who don't bow down to your superiority because you will go after them like a rabid dog.

Please, I gave her milk, cloths, money etc. I mentioned the doll because it was more on the expensive end. I didn't have to help her. She took advantage of my good heart and paid for it.

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Please, I gave her milk, cloths, money etc. I mentioned the doll because it was more on the expensive end. I didn't have to help her. She took advantage of my good heart and paid for it.

 

No, you don't have a good heart and you never did. You did things with an ulterior motive and as a way to exert control over someone else's life. You sound a bit...not quite all there.

 

Also, she didn't really "pay for" anything. Your revenge plot, while elaborate and certainly time consuming, didn't really do much in the way of vengeance and accomplished very little. You didn't sleep with him, her family is still relatively intact and people are spreading rumors and gossiping about you. It just kind of makes you look a bit trashy and actually makes people more sympathetic towards her.

 

The point of revenge is not to make yourself look bad :confused:.

Edited by Lernaean_Hydra
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No, you don't have a good heart and you never did. You did things with an ulterior motive and as a way to exert control over someone else's life. You sound a bit...not quite all there.

 

Also, she didn't really "pay for" anything. Your revenge plot, while elaborate and certainly time consuming, didn't really do much in the way of vengeance and accomplished very little. You didn't sleep with him, her family is still relatively intact and people are spreading rumors and gossiping about you. It just kind of makes you look a bit trashy and actually makes people more sympathetic towards her.

 

The point of revenge is not to make yourself look bad :confused:.

 

My plan or goal was to make her boyfriend love me and to have her hurt from it. It wasn't to sleep with him, it wasn't to have him leave her and the family or to have people somehow bad mouthing her. The day came where she became aware of his feelings, even if they weren't "love", it was enough to have her saddened and bothered by it for years to come. I don't see how what I set out to do didn't work.

 

As far as me looking bad, a few years ago she actually baited me by saying to wait until our friends and associates found out about what I did. I told her that I didn't care what people said or thought about me. :shrugs:

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My plan or goal was to make her boyfriend love me and to have her hurt from it. It wasn't to sleep with him, it wasn't to have him leave her and the family or to have people somehow bad mouthing her. The day came where she became aware of his feelings, even if they weren't "love", it was enough to have her saddened and bothered by it for years to come. I don't see how what I set out to do didn't work.

 

As far as me looking bad, a few years ago she actually baited me by saying to wait until our friends and associates found out about what I did. I told her that I didn't care what people said or thought about me. :shrugs:

 

You don't seem to be hearing what we're all saying: you look REALLY BAD because of what you did to this woman, your "friend", based on nothing more than hearsay. Good, kind-hearted people don't:

 

a.)attach conditions to their gift-giving. You don't HAVE to give gifts to anyone, and if you do it with expectations, they aren't gifts.

 

b.) automatically believe gossip they heard about a friend, no matter how many details are given.

 

c.) let a hurtful action ruin a friendship without at least trying to talk to them about it, before you write them off.

 

d.) deliberately ruin their friend's relationship for ANY reason, and then,

 

e.) continue to lie and gaslight and collude with her "boyfriend" even years later

 

Really, what is it you want to hear? Could you please address these points?

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My plan or goal was to make her boyfriend love me and to have her hurt from it. It wasn't to sleep with him, it wasn't to have him leave her and the family or to have people somehow bad mouthing her. The day came where she became aware of his feelings, even if they weren't "love", it was enough to have her saddened and bothered by it for years to come. I don't see how what I set out to do didn't work.

 

As far as me looking bad, a few years ago she actually baited me by saying to wait until our friends and associates found out about what I did. I told her that I didn't care what people said or thought about me. :shrugs:

 

You really are pretty wicked aren't you. Whatever her bf felt for you he is still with her. I'm sure he was turned on and told you he loved you to try to get you in bed. You know to get some strange on the side, but probably after that he would have dropped you like a hot plate, after the sex and after he hurt his girl. Good for you you didn't let it happen.

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