Can anyone decipher this Tumblr post from my ex?

[SoThatHappened]

Alright, we finally got some truth to this whole thing. You were taking her for granted. Now I see why she was so hurt and afraid to get hurt more.

 

I commend you for taking part of the blame. It's not easy to do.

 

This sounds like it's been a very unhealthy relationship, and I highly recommend you work on the flaws that come up with you in relationships. Not saying it was all your fault, but the way that tumblr post came across sounded like a woman who had been hurt, and multiple times.

 

This forum can be so one-sided to the poster sometimes, without looking at things from both ends. That's why I got put off by all of the "Go NC, screw her, she's sending breadcrumbs..." posts. It's a little ignorant.

 

People see other posters giving this advice to someone who was truly dumped/heartbroken and they just vomit the same phrases out for every situation. It gets old.

 

You hurt her. She hurt you. She probably doesn't know about "breadcrumbs." She probably is truly hurt and reaching out.

 

I suggest you work on you. If you want her back, you need to fix yourself. I'm sure she has things she also needs to work on.

 

Only YOU know the way your relationship works with her. It sounds like you both have true feelings for each other. Maybe you need to work on yourselves together, but you definitely have to work on yourselves separately as well.

[tikay00]

Maybe you need to work on yourselves together, but you definitely have to work on yourselves separately as well.

 

It's too hard to work on the relationship together, because I don't want to be strung along in the friend zone department, and every single time I'm in contact with her, it's too obsessive, and too much thinking, and hoping on my end. It's just not healthy for me. As the dumpee I naturally want an instant relationship, and obviously she's not cool with that yet (possibly ever), so why put us both in that predicament, and make it hard for the both of us?

 

Working on ourselves separately is the best course of action, and if she comes back, then she comes back, if not, then she doesn't. I have to focus on myself, and stop thinking about her. Besides, this is a weird situation for me, and I get too clingy in this position, because I just can't help it now. I don't want that, and I'm just gonna go NC.

 

And I completely get where you're coming from. But trust me. She might not know that she's leaving me bread crumbs, but I think we both know where her heart lies now, and possibly forever. Love isn't about having me be her lap dog, and prove my trust to her. Why would I want that anyways? She dumped me. I have a gut feeling that she's trying to keep me in the friend zone, and in the back burner zone. Like they say, always trust your gut in a relationship.

Edited October 15, 2014 by tikay00

[tikay00]

Update: Another post on Tumblr.

 

"(My name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

[NoLeafClover]

Update: Another post on Tumblr.

 

"(My name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

Wow...B.B.C

[tikay00]

Wow...B.B.C

 

 

 

What is b.b.c.? Haha, i think i know what that is. What shoild I do?

Edited October 19, 2014 by tikay00

[BC1980]

Update: Another post on Tumblr.

 

"(My name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

 

Here's a fact about social media and texting. It's easier to say things in a text or on social media because you are more removed from a person than face to face. People get away with saying all kinds of stuff because it's hypothetical. They don't feel any need to back it up. My ex used to text me a lot of sentimental shiz, but he would never back it up with any actions to reconcile. Texting and social media are ways to keep you in their life but at a distance.

 

Think of it this way. If I hated a co-worker, it would be easier to text them "eff you" than to say it to their face at work and make a commitment to be an ahole to them while at work.

[tikay00]

Here's a fact about social media and texting. It's easier to say things in a text or on social media because you are more removed from a person than face to face. People get away with saying all kinds of stuff because it's hypothetical. They don't feel any need to back it up. My ex used to text me a lot of sentimental shiz, but he would never back it up with any actions to reconcile. Texting and social media are ways to keep you in their life but at a distance.

 

Think of it this way. If I hated a co-worker, it would be easier to text them "eff you" than to say it to their face at work and make a commitment to be an ahole to them while at work.

 

Its a long distance relationship.

[lauri]

Update: Another post on Tumblr.

 

"(My name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

 

She's fishing for you to respond dude. I would hold out from doing anything..I understand you want to be with her but she broke up with you. She will eventually crack and contact you.

 

I'd stop looking at her posts. My ex still has feelings for me but that doesn't mean she wants to be with me. I'd move on man because things that caused this breakup probably won't be changed over such a short period of time.

[BC1980]

Its a long distance relationship.

 

That doesn't mean she has to communicate via Tumbler. She can pick up a phone if she is serious.

[tikay00]

That doesn't mean she has to communicate via Tumbler. She can pick up a phone if she is serious.

 

She's fishing for you to respond dude. I would hold out from doing anything..I understand you want to be with her but she broke up with you. She will eventually crack and contact you.

 

I'd stop looking at her posts. My ex still has feelings for me but that doesn't mean she wants to be with me. I'd move on man because things that caused this breakup probably won't be changed over such a short period of time.

 

Thanks guys. I really needed this kick in the butt.

[BC1980]

Thanks guys. I really needed this kick in the butt.

 

It's hard to see it objectively when you are in the middle of it. We all tend to make excuses when we love or care for someone. One thing so great about this forum is that posters are completely objective. We don't know your ex in any way, so the advice given here is usually the best you can get IMO.

[Bumpin in My Trunk]

 

Think of it this way. If I hated a co-worker, it would be easier to text them "eff you" than to say it to their face at work and make a commitment to be an ahole to them while at work.

 

 

And then there's me. One co-worker was a being an ******* and I just told him "**** you" turned around and walked. I'm sure he would have tried to kick my ass but everyone was in the kitchen. Of course, I got disciplined for it but it was just a slap in the wrist. Moral of the story, if you have the opportunity to call out an ******* that nobody likes, do it.

 

And it's completely off topic, I know. I'm just posting to lighten the mood

[SoThatHappened]

Wow... such blind ignorance on here sometimes it drives me crazy.

 

Dude, she's throwing her heart out there. Whether it's a text, a phone call, a door knock, or a tumblr post... go get her man.

 

You want her back. She's shouting from the rooftops that she loves you.

 

Go get her.

 

Fix the things you've done to hurt her and don't do them anymore.

 

Jeez, if everyone took every single bit of advice on here as gospel, no one would ever get back together.

 

Fix your $h!t and treat her right. Yeesh

[Xemyd]

Wow... such blind ignorance on here sometimes it drives me crazy.

 

Dude, she's throwing her heart out there. Whether it's a text, a phone call, a door knock, or a tumblr post... go get her man.

 

You want her back. She's shouting from the rooftops that she loves you.

 

Go get her.

 

Fix the things you've done to hurt her and don't do them anymore.

 

Jeez, if everyone took every single bit of advice on here as gospel, no one would ever get back together.

 

Fix your $h!t and treat her right. Yeesh

 

Lol, you make me laugh. If she was serious she would straight up talk to him and tell him she loves him. All this social media stuff is bullsh*t.

 

If anything, maybe Tikay, you should just call her, ask her what she's trying to accomplish with all these posts. Like mentioned above, it is harder to talk to people face to face, especially when you're the one having to bring up something big. Just ask her, maybe you can get a proper heart to heart talk in and you can figure this situation out.

[SoThatHappened]

Lol, you make me laugh. If she was serious she would straight up talk to him and tell him she loves him. All this social media stuff is bullsh*t.

Glad I can make you laugh.

 

And I agree. Social media is bull$h!t.

 

But, that's the way people communicate these days. And she's throwing it out there in front of EVERYONE. That's today's equivalent of shouting from the rooftops. That's as serious as it gets anymore... even though it's not the way it should be.

[Bumpin in My Trunk]

Ok serious advice for the OP here.

 

 

Just call her up whenever you want. The first thing out of your mouth should be asking her whether or not she wants to get back with you and work on fixing things TOGETHER (I see both you and her messed up a lot). If she can't give you a definite answer, hang up and ghost on

[tikay00]

Ok serious advice for the OP here.

 

 

Just call her up whenever you want. The first thing out of your mouth should be asking her whether or not she wants to get back with you and work on fixing things TOGETHER (I see both you and her messed up a lot). If she can't give you a definite answer, hang up and ghost on

 

Done this twice already. First time, no more chances. Second time, kind of second chance, but not the same. I'm just going to do NC for now, and see where this takes me.

 

This one really doesn't feel like a bread crumb, since she typed out my full name, but I'm still gonna make her call me. If she doesn't, I'm not going to make the same mistake every other guy has, and break NC, and go back to square 1 if it was indeed a bread crumb.

[Chi townD]

Update: Another post on Tumblr.

 

"(My name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

 

 

 

What should you do with that? You need to ask her, sh*t or get off the pot. You need to ask her, ONCE AND FOR ALL, if she wants to get back together. If she's wavering, you're gone. If she says, not right now, you're gone. If she straight out says no, you're gone. You can't continue to do this to yourself. You're never going to heal if you continue to play these games.

 

 

Ask her ONE MORE TIME! And if she says "no" then you have your closure. You can move on and put her in your rearview mirror.

[tikay00]

What should you do with that? You need to ask her, sh*t or get off the pot. You need to ask her, ONCE AND FOR ALL, if she wants to get back together. If she's wavering, you're gone. If she says, not right now, you're gone. If she straight out says no, you're gone. You can't continue to do this to yourself. You're never going to heal if you continue to play these games.

 

 

Ask her ONE MORE TIME! And if she says "no" then you have your closure. You can move on and put her in your rearview mirror.

 

Ive had my closure twice already, and she posts stuff like this all the time. NC for good. I really thought about the actual breakup, and the non closure, and coldness she gave me when it was in the break phase. Cant forgive her for that, and Im done with her.

[umirano]

My BU is 6 months back. Since BU I haven't looked at any of her social media. I blocked her within 24 hrs after BU on all SM. FB, G+, Skype, deleted phone number. The full drill. That's what you need to do. Read one of the thousands of NC guides and follow it step by step.

[tikay00]

Update: Took the weekend, and Monday to think things through. Couldn't resist the urge, and texted her to say I needed to talk. She calls immediately. I ask her why she wrote that on Tumblr, and if we can work on things together. She either said, "I don't know right now", or, "not right now". Doesn't matter. Those were the keywords that told me she was throwing bread crumbs again.

 

Talked on the phone, and was kind of mad, and told her to stop throwing me bread crumbs, and that she's leading me on. She said to stop reading her Tumblr then, and that she can't help what's in her heart. I also told her some other stuff that doesn't matter. I texted her about NC, and this time I'm gonna stop reading her Tumblr, and I might call her in a few months, but probably not, so I don't catch feelings, and slip up again.

 

Hasn't texted me back, but whatever. Balls in her court, and I don't care. All I needed was to hear, "I don't know right now". No more NC for the purpose of her missing me. This time NC for me to get over her for good. Not even going to entertain the thought of her possibly wanting to rekindle in the future. Too hard to move on that way. End of a chapter.

[BC1980]

Update: Took the weekend, and Monday to think things through. Couldn't resist the urge, and texted her to say I needed to talk. She calls immediately. I ask her why she wrote that on Tumblr, and if we can work on things together. She either said, "I don't know right now", or, "not right now". Doesn't matter. Those were the keywords that told me she was throwing bread crumbs again.

 

Talked on the phone, and was kind of mad, and told her to stop throwing me bread crumbs, and that she's leading me on. She said to stop reading her Tumblr then, and that she can't help what's in her heart. I also told her some other stuff that doesn't matter. I texted her about NC, and this time I'm gonna stop reading her Tumblr, and I might call her in a few months, but probably not, so I don't catch feelings, and slip up again.

 

Hasn't texted me back, but whatever. Balls in her court, and I don't care. All I needed was to hear, "I don't know right now". No more NC for the purpose of her missing me. This time NC for me to get over her for good. Not even going to entertain the thought of her possibly wanting to rekindle in the future. Too hard to move on that way. End of a chapter.

 

I hate to say it, but the advice given is usually correct. Don't answer to anything other than her saying she flat out wants to try again. She is right about the Tumblr though. You need to block her on social media. If you don't block an ex on social media, you have to realize that they have a right to post anything they want. You can't police what they post on FB, Twitter, Tumblr. The wise thing to do is to remove yourself from their social media, so you don't have to see anything you don't want to.

 

Sometimes, you have to actually experience these types of breadcrumbs to realize that your ex isn't serious. My ex actually sent me an anniversary card 2 months after he dumped me. Basically, on the day that would have been our anniversary. It was signed "Love, EX." People have been known to throw out seemingly serious breadcrumbs. I've seen some absolutely crazy stuff on LS, but, like I said and the NC guide says, never answer to anything other than a statement that they want to try again.

[tikay00]

I hate to say it, but the advice given is usually correct. Don't answer to anything other than her saying she flat out wants to try again. She is right about the Tumblr though. You need to block her on social media. If you don't block an ex on social media, you have to realize that they have a right to post anything they want. You can't police what they post on FB, Twitter, Tumblr. The wise thing to do is to remove yourself from their social media, so you don't have to see anything you don't want to.

 

Sometimes, you have to actually experience these types of breadcrumbs to realize that your ex isn't serious. My ex actually sent me an anniversary card 2 months after he dumped me. Basically, on the day that would have been our anniversary. It was signed "Love, EX." People have been known to throw out seemingly serious breadcrumbs. I've seen some absolutely crazy stuff on LS, but, like I said and the NC guide says, never answer to anything other than a statement that they want to try again.

 

You keep thinking to yourself, "but she wouldn't be like that", lesson learned. She is like that.

 

I'm not gonna let it be easier for her to move on by being there for her. I've said I've gotten closure on 2 separate occasions, but this one was real closure. How the hell does someone post your full name, and I love you with all my heart, then say, "I don't know right now."

 

Bread crumbs are real, and you guys are so right. If they don't flat out say, "let's try again", don't waste your thoughts or breath. I had to actually experience this. I was dumb enough to think that maybe she was scared to contact me, and had to do it this way. WRONG!

[Xemyd]

I was dumb enough to think that maybe she was scared to contact me, and had to do it this way. WRONG!

 

It's not being stupid, it's hopes. This situation is fairly fresh for you and of course you're going to hold on to hope of reconciliation for a while, we've all done it. If I saw my ex posting that kind of stuff I'd probably get all excited too.

 

But you know now. Let this be the lesson for you, if anything happens think back to this.

[BC1980]

You keep thinking to yourself, "but she wouldn't be like that", lesson learned. She is like that.

 

I'm not gonna let it be easier for her to move on by being there for her. I've said I've gotten closure on 2 separate occasions, but this one was real closure. How the hell does someone post your full name, and I love you with all my heart, then say, "I don't know right now."

 

Bread crumbs are real, and you guys are so right. If they don't flat out say, "let's try again", don't waste your thoughts or breath. I had to actually experience this. I was dumb enough to think that maybe she was scared to contact me, and had to do it this way. WRONG!

 

I kept saying the same thing about my ex. Thinking he would never play with my emotions. Well, I was wrong. He would text all kinds if sentimental things to me, said he missed and loved me still. I also learned the hard way because I refused to listen to anyone. Thought my situation was different. Guess what? When I went NC, he said he understood my decision and wished me the best. He could have cared less in the end, and we haven't talked in almost a year.

 

When push comes to shove, most of these people will admit they aren't serious. Just like what happened to you. When you called her out, she pulled away.