Author GoldenAxe Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Day 4 NC, feeling stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Day 4 NC, feeling stronger. Did you take any measures? NC gets very very difficult as the weeks go by. It's about sticking to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Blocked her number, erased the chat app "Kik", I see she already unfollowed me on IG, I never followed her on there so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 this sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 Days 1 and 2 = pissed. Days 3 and 4 = sad. Today, day 5 = numb and confused. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Days 1 and 2 = pissed. Days 3 and 4 = sad. Today, day 5 = numb and confused. Best to stop fixating on the situation and counting days. Easier said than done of course. Find your focus. Go write a song about the situation.Go reconnect with old friends. It will hurt. You gotta face the hurt dead on. Take responsibility for yourself and take care of yourself. You have to rip yourself from the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Hi guys/gals, well I fell for it again. This time her shrink told her to leave me alone unless she's single. I'm walking away again. This time for good. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Well folks, it ended tonight. Told her I can't do this anymore, we were both ballin our eyes out. It's over. Hi guys/gals, well I fell for it again. This time her shrink told her to leave me alone unless she's single. I'm walking away again. This time for good. First quote was back in October. Again, I thought you blocked her? So what's the plan yet again? What are you doing to take care of yourself? When does it end? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Hi guys/gals, well I fell for it again. This time her shrink told her to leave me alone unless she's single. I'm walking away again. This time for good. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. Just get back to your recovery and connect with others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 She's blocked on everything. Phone, email, Instagram. I'd block her on FB but she's deactivated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 At this point All i feel is numb. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruffian1 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 "This time her shrink told her to leave me alone unless she's single." Well . . .duh, yeah. She shouldn't have to have a shrink tell her that, it is common sense. It is respect for not only you but her H also --to make up her mind and get rid of one or the other. It is impossible to have your cake and eat it also. You can have two pieces of cake, but that is not a good way to live. Remember to stay no contact. As time goes on, you will see things differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 I have to be strong with this. A friend made a good analogy about my situation, he said it's like I keep putting the same movie in when I know it stops at 4 minutes into it, and I still get mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 When will I learn Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 When will I learn back in the affair? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Been back in the affair, tried to bring it back to just sex, seeing other girls, but I started getting the WHAT THE F**K feeling again a week ago, then blew up this past Thursday. Said some nasty things to her, she really doesn't know what to say or do at this point. House is still for sale but can't tell him "when the house sells I'm done" I honestly feel like she was waiting for one of us to crack so she doesn't have to make a decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 We've gone back and forth a few times since I last posted in here back in January I believe Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 let me get this straight. u said u met her 5 years ago. how long was the affair going on? if i were u, i d tell her to call after she sells the house and she s out of the door. u can t keep doing that to yourself. if she d wanted to leave, she d be with u by now. it s clearly she s undecided and most probably won t leave. give her space without u in her life. if she does something, then ok. if not, move on. i think she already knows that u a;ways get back together so at this point she doesn t feel to do anything 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Correct, 5 yrs 2 mths now. It's the whole roller coaster vicious circle deal. This time it feels different cuz I already don't have patience as it is, this last year has done a number on my brain. Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Correct, 5 yrs 2 mths now. It's the whole roller coaster vicious circle deal. This time it feels different cuz I already don't have patience as it is, this last year has done a number on my brain. and don t u think she could ve done something by now?? it s been 5 years! not one,2,3. five!!! people do so many many things in 5 years. i know it s a stupid question, but why would u give 5 years of your life to soneone just like that? i m not saying it s not ok to wait, but when it s too much it s too much. 5 years is a long time. the minute u saw she s postponing the decision, u should have walked. i know it s hard, hurts like hell and i m sory to tell u that after so long i don t think it s gonna happen. no one waits 5 years to be with the person they love. we are all hurting here, heck i ended my A yesterday after 8 months because i m sure nothing was going to change if i stay. only my state of mind, i would have come here in a few years and post a thread from a mental hospital. u have to know that is ok to end it. for yourself. if she comes back for good and u still want her, it s ok. if not PLEASE STOP GIVING HER MORE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. TIME IS A PRECIOUS THING AND IT DOESN T COME BACK!!! NEITHER YOUR SAINTY IF U LOSE IT! Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Very true. My sanity is just about out the door at this point Link to post Share on other sites
rhymemepoet Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Three years devoted to MOW, I lived only for our moments, and even though those moments were for Five days every week, I know my life was being robbed. On the weekends when my kids were visiting, you guessed it, MOW took center stage and we'd plan events around her schedule. I never thought it would end, but I feel so lucky that it did. I was very fortunate that I have a family to go back to, which really sealed the deal to end it. You are not so lucky it seems, because I am sure if you had a place to escape the insanity you'd quickly detox like I did and you'd never look at her the same again. I am also lucky because MOW is kind enough to keep nc and move on herself. Rather than let that infuriate me, I choose to view her absence as the greatest gift she has ever given me. Golden, you need to realize that this affair is damaging your soul. It was an experience that I am sure was once profound for you (as it was for me) yet it no longer is profound and now is exposing the emptiness it creates inside your soul. I apologize for my gruff demeanor, as I realize you are not different than me, just different circumstances. I was lucky, and I am hoping that my similar situation will allow you to see that I'm being as honesT and voraciously open to you as is possible. You know that you would never want this woman as your partner, she turns you on because she's a cheater, that's what is exciting about her. They are rare breeds, and most men are too timid to try such a dangerous dynamic. Let's be honest, "she" strokes our ego simply because she makes us feel better than the poor fool who gets to suck your seed after your done depositing it. I can't lie, so I will admit that I still think of MOW quite often, yet it is not at all a desire to go back to where we were. I realize that even one year later after nc is still too soon to expect all memories to completely fade. Yet, I look forward more to the next big bang (falling in love) than seeing her again. I really do not know how to help you, and now I feel bad for interjecting into your story as if I am somehow luckier than you. What I am attempting to do is show you by example from someone in your shoes just how much better freedom from this is. Maybe I got my fill of the sex after three years and I can finally take a break. I am not saying that I'm above this, but I'm not so ignorant to believe that there is something so special about this married person that makes them worth the sacrifices. I hope you catch a lucky break and find your escape tunnel like I did. I can tell you that there is more to life, so don't spend too much of yours topping up her cup, because in the end she's never going to give back what you've given her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RainDown Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Very true. My sanity is just about out the door at this point Drastic times call for drastic measures, friend. Have you considered moving across the country? I am absolutely dead serious. Your brain takes a vacation when she's anywhere in the vicinity. I would move as far away from her as humanly possible, or you're just going to be here on LS next year, and the year after, and the year after that stuck in the same hole. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 I have considered moving to Cali, I live in NJ, but financially that's not possible at the moment Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 First quote was back in October. Again, I thought you blocked her? So what's the plan yet again? What are you doing to take care of yourself? When does it end? I posted this back in Dec. It's still relevant. Get out and NC forever. Be a man. Do it. Otherwise what do you expect? Do something to help yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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