3 Reasons Why Guys Should Still be Paying for Dates

[Mister Zen]

It's romantic when a man pays. That's enough reason for many of us.

 

Romantic for who? Its not all about you babe.

[Mister Zen]

I've learned that men who are good providers don't always hold the loyalty of women. I've seen men bust their butts for women, just to be cheated on

 

Women are not loyal unless they are dependent. This is the main reason women were more loyal pre-feminism. Just a fact.. I'm not suggesting feminism is bad. However, women always expect their man to be better than them in some way. If he isn't stronger, smarter, richer, taller, etc. then she loses respect.

 

If you want a woman to be loyal you have to be the best she can get and stay that way. Otherwise forget it.

[jay1983]

Romantic for who? Its not all about you babe.

 

I don't know if we can win this one. Only way is if all of us at the same time just stopped paying for them. And that'll never happen cause we'll always have somebody throwing us under the bus trying to make himself look good.

 

"Nah I don't mind paying. They're a bunch of cheap ass schmucks. I know how to treat a lady blah blah blah"

 

Women get their way by saying "if you don't I'm not gonna see you again"

 

It's some bull****

Edited October 2, 2014 by jay1983

[Mister Zen]

I don't know if we can win this one. Only way is if all of us at the same time just stopped paying for them. And that'll never happen cause we'll always have somebody throwing us under the bus trying to make himself look good.

 

"Nah I don't mind paying. They're a bunch of schmucks"

 

You win the game by not playing it.

 

Don't make the first date something that even requires money. Go to the zoo or the beach or something.

 

You can even forget your wallet and tell her you will make it up to her by paying for the next date. Then she is forced to pay. If she doesn't go out with you again, you at least got a free meal. Well.. now I'm thinking like a woman! Uh-oh...

[jay1983]

You win the game by not playing it.

 

Don't make the first date something that even requires money. Go to the zoo or the beach or something.

 

You can even forget your wallet and tell her you will make it up to her by paying for the next date. Then she is forced to pay. If she doesn't go out with you again, you at least got a free meal. Well.. now I'm thinking like a woman! Uh-oh...

 

I've gone beyond that, I don't even date anymore. "I'll be at top golf with my friends this weekend. You're welcome to come if you like, we'll be having a blast"

 

Surprising that's working even better than setting up dates. At least thus far.

[Mister Zen]

I've gone beyond that, I don't even date anymore. "I'll be at top golf with my friends this weekend. You're welcome to come if you like, we'll be having a blast"

 

Surprising that's working even better than setting up dates. At least thus far.

 

That's a great technique too. Just have them meet you somewhere you'll be anyway. If she flakes, it doesn't matter because you didn't make special plans.

 

I have one friend who used to have women meet him outside his apartment building. Then he would tell them he isn't ready and they should come up. It was funny. He actually got laid that way a few times too.

[jay1983]

That's a great technique too. Just have them meet you somewhere you'll be anyway. If she flakes, it doesn't matter because you didn't make special plans.

 

I have one friend who used to have women meet him outside his apartment building. Then he would tell them he isn't ready and they should come up. It was funny. He actually got laid that way a few times too.

 

Ex fu*king actly! That's why I started doing this. I got fed up with flaking (it's like a full*king epidemic) I just said no no no, I'm doing what the fu*k I wanna do and I'm not waiting up on nobody.

 

I don't know if this is the best way to do it and I don't care. I'm doing it this way and that's that.

[toolforgrowth]

I'm a man and don't mind paying for dates, at least initially. The comment about the sense of entitlement some women have about it is dead on, however. If she feels entitled to it, I won't even take her out, or if I find out after the fact, my time with her ends after the first date.

 

If I ask a woman out, I'm automatically going to pay for her. I just went on my first date in a while last night (had a blast too!); I asked her out for sushi, told her it was my treat, and she enthusiastically agreed. We ordered as much sushi as we could eat and shared a bottle of sake. Spent two hours chatting, laughing, and getting to know each other. A very successful first date.

 

I also know that she doesn't have nearly as much money as I do. She's got two kids and is going to school. So I'm fully prepared to pay for most dates for a while. That honestly doesn't bother me as long as she reciprocates in other ways. Maybe she'll cook for me; maybe she'll give me back rubs; maybe she'll knit me sweaters; or maybe we'll just end up being a good match, and she'll be a great partner, and she'll be grateful that I pay. The point is that I don't mind investing a little money to see how things shake out, as long as she's grateful and we continue to have fun. If I feel that I'm not getting enough of a return on my investment, I'll walk away. Pretty simple, really.

 

As for feminism: I have no issue with feminism at face value. I'm all for equal rights, equal opportunity, and equal pay. It's when a small select group of feminists become "man-hating", or shame men simply for being men (I like to swear, I think bodily functions are funny, and I have a phallus so therefore I like sex, and I don't apologize or consider myself "bad" for being that way), or are entitled to preferential treatment simply because they're a woman, that I take issue. I pay attention to actions, not words. Most feminists aren't man-hating, so I don't paint the movement with a broad brush; the ones that are, well...they tend to be the most vocal, which can hurt the cause...BADLY.

[Mister Zen]

I'm a man and don't mind paying for dates, at least initially. The comment about the sense of entitlement some women have about it is dead on, however. If she feels entitled to it, I won't even take her out, or if I find out after the fact, my time with her ends after the first date.

 

If I ask a woman out, I'm automatically going to pay for her. I just went on my first date in a while last night (had a blast too!); I asked her out for sushi, told her it was my treat, and she enthusiastically agreed. We ordered as much sushi as we could eat and shared a bottle of sake. Spent two hours chatting, laughing, and getting to know each other. A very successful first date.

 

I also know that she doesn't have nearly as much money as I do. She's got two kids and is going to school. So I'm fully prepared to pay for most dates for a while. That honestly doesn't bother me as long as she reciprocates in other ways. Maybe she'll cook for me; maybe she'll give me back rubs; maybe she'll knit me sweaters; or maybe we'll just end up being a good match, and she'll be a great partner, and she'll be grateful that I pay. The point is that I don't mind investing a little money to see how things shake out, as long as she's grateful and we continue to have fun. If I feel that I'm not getting enough of a return on my investment, I'll walk away. Pretty simple, really.

 

As for feminism: I have no issue with feminism at face value. I'm all for equal rights, equal opportunity, and equal pay. It's when a small select group of feminists become "man-hating", or shame men simply for being men (I like to swear, I think bodily functions are funny, and I have a phallus so therefore I like sex, and I don't apologize or consider myself "bad" for being that way), or are entitled to preferential treatment simply because they're a woman, that I take issue. I pay attention to actions, not words. Most feminists aren't man-hating, so I don't paint the movement with a broad brush; the ones that are, well...they tend to be the most vocal, which can hurt the cause...BADLY.

 

In the modern dating game, women are encouraged to be selfish, while men are encouraged to be selfless.

 

I never totally understood why and I still don't.

[jay1983]

In the modern dating game, women are encouraged to be selfish, while men are encouraged to be selfless.

 

I never totally understood why and I still don't.

 

Because they can get away with it. They know the next schmuck will come along, kiss their ass and throw his 'brothers' under the bus if it makes him look better. Its just like I said above. We keep playing their game.

[Phoe]

I've gone beyond that, I don't even date anymore. "I'll be at top golf with my friends this weekend. You're welcome to come if you like, we'll be having a blast"

 

Surprising that's working even better than setting up dates. At least thus far.

 

I personally don't see anything wrong with this technique, and especially since it's worked out for you, I'd say more power to you

[Natsu21]

Women are not loyal unless they are dependent. This is the main reason women were more loyal pre-feminism. Just a fact.. I'm not suggesting feminism is bad. However, women always expect their man to be better than them in some way. If he isn't stronger, smarter, richer, taller, etc. then she loses respect.

 

If you want a woman to be loyal you have to be the best she can get and stay that way. Otherwise forget it.

 

Or at least better than the schmuck she's with and or married with.

 

I've slept with 3 different women who were either married or taken. Boyfriends don't know. I'm broke, dead broke...

 

I'm friends with a woman who stays with a man who is a very decent provider, but she's cheating on him with a guy that works at Taco Bell...

 

I slept with a bartender who used me numerous times to make her ex jealous. I was aware of her game but a hot bartender who looks like Taylor Swift is not going to come my way all the time, so I took advantage of it. She still SLEPT with me.

 

Zen, you got a point, if a woman is dependent on a man(financially speaking, I take it) then yes, she'll stay in the relationship.

 

But judging from my experience, just because she's lying in the bed with you, doesn't mean she's thinking about someone else. Being the OM, I realized that I didn't HAVE to be a financially stable person to get laid, but not being financially stable kills my chances of getting married and having a family, but at 23, that's no big deal. My independence comes first. But because i'm financially unstable, I can't get as much tail as I'd like, but I'm still young, I can remedy that problem with time.

 

But really, who's better off? The man she's with, or the man she's really thinking of? It really depends on how you view things.

 

On the one hand, she's spending every night in your bed. She could be having sex with you, she could not. She could still be cheating on you. That means all the guy in her life is is just a bank. She doesn't love him nor respect.

 

I've seen, in a lot of times, some seriously hot girls with really rich husbands, cheat on them with guys who work minimum wage jobs. Trust me when I say while money can GET you women, that doesn't guarantee you get a loyal woman. Not unless you 1. Cut her off from friends. 2. Have her so broke that she can't leave the house without so much your permission(which is what some guys I've seen do to control the relationship) only then can you have absolute control of your relationship. Why do you think lots of women stay in abusive relationships?

 

Money matters to some women, sometimes it doesn't, but it doesn't overall determine loyalty. Just who they will marry.

 

And frankly, if you ask me, marriage is just a sham. I'm enjoying getting laid, though it isn't as much as I'd like...just fine.

[Giggle]

Because they can get away with it. They know the next schmuck will come along, kiss their ass and throw his 'brothers' under the bus if it makes him look better. Its just like I said above. We keep playing their game.

 

Geez you're grumpy. This last guy asked me to a movie, I said sure. He then at some point mentioned we should go to the lake after, ok =o) come to find out he's already seen everything good so my question was why not skip the movie and go to the lake? Now, since this was an OLD and he loved Starbucks let's meet their first, but then hang out at the lake that is in the middle of town. My idea. Some of us females actually are awesome and not out to be wine and dined.

[Got it]

Women are not loyal unless they are dependent. This is the main reason women were more loyal pre-feminism. Just a fact.. I'm not suggesting feminism is bad. However, women always expect their man to be better than them in some way. If he isn't stronger, smarter, richer, taller, etc. then she loses respect.

 

If you want a woman to be loyal you have to be the best she can get and stay that way. Otherwise forget it.

 

Really. Care to cite your source?

[Anela]

Romantic for who? Its not all about you babe.

 

I've known men who prefer to pay - it's romantic for them, as well, snookums.

[Anela]

Women are not loyal unless they are dependent. This is the main reason women were more loyal pre-feminism. Just a fact.. I'm not suggesting feminism is bad. However, women always expect their man to be better than them in some way. If he isn't stronger, smarter, richer, taller, etc. then she loses respect.

 

If you want a woman to be loyal you have to be the best she can get and stay that way. Otherwise forget it.

 

WTF?

 

I've slept with 3 different women who were either married or taken. Boyfriends don't know. I'm broke, dead broke...

 

 

That says as much about you, as it does about them.

[insert_name]

I've known men who prefer to pay - it's romantic for them, as well, snookums.

 

So romance = the exchange of cash for consumable goods?!

 

If that's dating in the 21st century then I for one am glad to have no part of it.

[insert_name]

WTF?

 

 

 

That says as much about you, as it does about them.

 

It says that he's a smart (if slightly immoral) guy, who can have the cow without buying the milk...and let's be fair he probably doesn't want to buy the milk if that is how the cow behaves when the farmer is not around.

 

I was in the same situation, in a hotel room with a girl who had a long term boyfriend of 5 years+ with her trying to pull my trousers down...I pushed her away as I had some recognition of the guilt she may feel by doing that.

We had know each other a long time and she knew I had feelings for her. She told me that she felt like she lived me but she couldn't leave her boyfriend because he earned a lot more money than me and she "was all about the security".

 

I thanked her and appreciated her honesty, because she was basically telling me what sort of woman she was so I was able to open my eyes and move on. That's what you get with these 'provider' types. They like to be provided for but it takes away any sort of respect they have for the provider because he is paying for everything so is therefore nothing more than an easy mark to a woman.

 

Last I heard she had a wedding date set with this guy. I was tempted to send him some emails she sent me following that night, but he has willingly set himself up as a provider so really he has to learn the hard way from his mistakes. My nightmare with her is over whereas I get the feeling that his is only just beginning....

[Natsu21]

WTF?

 

 

 

That says as much about you, as it does about them.

 

In my defense, most guys would have done the same thing, especially since I didn't know they had boyfriends or husbands...all of them lied till after the deed was done.

 

Oh, sorry anela. That must be something new to you:

 

WOMEN LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

My point is, money isn't going to make a woman stay loyal. If guys think that they'll be sorely disappointed.

[Natsu21]

It says that he's a smart (if slightly immoral) guy, who can have the cow without buying the milk...and let's be fair he probably doesn't want to buy the milk if that is how the cow behaves when the farmer is not around.

 

I was in the same situation, in a hotel room with a girl who had a long term boyfriend of 5 years+ with her trying to pull my trousers down...I pushed her away as I had some recognition of the guilt she may feel by doing that.

We had know each other a long time and she knew I had feelings for her. She told me that she felt like she lived me but she couldn't leave her boyfriend because he earned a lot more money than me and she "was all about the security".

 

I thanked her and appreciated her honesty, because she was basically telling me what sort of woman she was so I was able to open my eyes and move on. That's what you get with these 'provider' types. They like to be provided for but it takes away any sort of respect they have for the provider because he is paying for everything so is therefore nothing more than an easy mark to a woman.

 

Last I heard she had a wedding date set with this guy. I was tempted to send him some emails she sent me following that night, but he has willingly set himself up as a provider so really he has to learn the hard way from his mistakes. My nightmare with her is over whereas I get the feeling that his is only just beginning....

 

THIS GUYS GETS IT!

 

See, here's the thing, I wasn't in love with these girls, but all 3 fell for me. It was bad because I had to break their heart afterwards.

 

You think I'm gonna get in a relationship with a cheater? You're out your mind, but here's a truth. THE MAJORITY of guys do not care if a woman is taken or not. If she comes onto him, they're pouncing.

 

You know what's even sadder? Acting like this actually helped me to attract more women. Even I find this sad, but....the technique works.

 

I know I'm immoral, but I never claimed to be perfect. I'm just having fun till I'm ready to settle down. Better to do this than be in a relationship I'm clearly not ready for.

 

Sides, I've bought the damn cow and got burned too many times. I'm gonna get my money's worth of fun. Just being blunt.

[Natsu21]

It says that he's a smart (if slightly immoral) guy, who can have the cow without buying the milk...and let's be fair he probably doesn't want to buy the milk if that is how the cow behaves when the farmer is not around.

 

I was in the same situation, in a hotel room with a girl who had a long term boyfriend of 5 years+ with her trying to pull my trousers down...I pushed her away as I had some recognition of the guilt she may feel by doing that.

We had know each other a long time and she knew I had feelings for her. She told me that she felt like she lived me but she couldn't leave her boyfriend because he earned a lot more money than me and she "was all about the security".

 

I thanked her and appreciated her honesty, because she was basically telling me what sort of woman she was so I was able to open my eyes and move on. That's what you get with these 'provider' types. They like to be provided for but it takes away any sort of respect they have for the provider because he is paying for everything so is therefore nothing more than an easy mark to a woman.

 

Last I heard she had a wedding date set with this guy. I was tempted to send him some emails she sent me following that night, but he has willingly set himself up as a provider so really he has to learn the hard way from his mistakes. My nightmare with her is over whereas I get the feeling that his is only just beginning....

 

Kudos insert, you're a stand-up guy. You really are. It takes true moral character to have done that. I know it doesn't get you what you want, but you show that doing the right thing has no rewards...you just do it.

 

Me, however, at a point in time, I got sick of not having rewards so I went out and had some fun. You can judge me if you like.

[Natsu21]

So romance = the exchange of cash for consumable goods?!

 

If that's dating in the 21st century then I for one am glad to have no part of it.

 

That's not romance, that's emotional prostitution.

 

At least with an actual prostitute, I know I'm gonna get sex in the end.

[Natsu21]

My philosophy: Why buy the milk if you didn't check the expiration date? Some good looking milk might be REALLY sour once you open up the carton. Catch my drift?

[insert_name]

Kudos insert, you're a stand-up guy. You really are. It takes true moral character to have done that. I know it doesn't get you what you want, but you show that doing the right thing has no rewards...you just do it.

 

Me, however, at a point in time, I got sick of not having rewards so I went out and had some fun. You can judge me if you like.

 

Oh I'm not judging you- when I say that its slightly immoral I am speaking from a view of how society itself views such actions. I have no thoughts on it either way as I have no investment in the situation.

 

Similarly I don't see what I did as good or bad really. My decisions are mine and I make them for my own benefit ultimately. I may have had her guilt in mind, but I ultimately I just can't have wanted to have sex with her that badly otherwise I would have, boyfriend or no boyfriend.

 

I don't value sex like others do- I wanted her, I loved her. The sex was a factor of who she is, if I couldn't have all of her then the sex was just a poor consolation, but that's just me.

 

It's important to convey this next bit, as it really illustrates the lengths some women will go to to snag a provider at the expense of their own happiness:

 

She's quite an excitable, bubbly girl who always draws attention to herself when she's out because she is quite lively. Normally I get turned off by that, but with her I found it strangely endearing. I am quite a downbeat character and her excitement when she was having a good time brought the best out of me. So one day I told her that that was one of the things I liked most about her, she looked like she was really touched by this and explained that her boyfriend really disliked her personality...yet in the end, she decided to choose financial security over a guy who would love her for who she was.

 

Fair play, she taught me a lot about life and how *some* (most) women seek comfort first and love second. As I say, I thanked her in the end for being so honest about what kind of woman she was.

[denise_xo]

In general, I think the idea of me paying for dates is totally outdated. It makes no sense to me at all.

 

Regarding the article:

1. Buy cheaper underwear and quit the make up, if it's such a problem.

2. Income inequality won't be solved by men paying for dates.

3. Where's the evidence that men paying for dates is encouraging them to chose quality over quantity?

4. Because they want to? Sure. Because they're expected to? Not OK.