I meet a girl online...

[chados]

I have absolutely no idea why you would get mad at her and send her disturbing pictures. Then I assume you tried to buy something for her?. Anyways doesn't matter, you don't start arguing with someone you've never met if you want to date them. I mean sure I argue sometimes in a relationship but it's normal. You don't show your jealous,mad sides to someone you're trying to get to know.

 

 

In a relationship you can look past this. But since you've never spent time together then she has no idea what to expect when you get really mad. If it works out or with the next girl. Spend time with then before you start arguing.

[w11gu]

I have absolutely no idea why you would get mad at her and send her disturbing pictures. Then I assume you tried to buy something for her?. Anyways doesn't matter, you don't start arguing with someone you've never met if you want to date them. I mean sure I argue sometimes in a relationship but it's normal. You don't show your jealous,mad sides to someone you're trying to get to know.

 

In a relationship you can look past this. But since you've never spent time together then she has no idea what to expect when you get really mad. If it works out or with the next girl. Spend time with then before you start arguing.

 

 

I wasnt mad at her in the beggining, i just sent that to start the conversation, ii know that ii screw up. And i dont think your way to do is correct because you will met another person not the one you show to be, we had argues in summer but in the end i allways apologized after, in my point of view we argued because we had different opinions about something. If i shut up and didnt react, she would notice that and said that i dont have my own opinion or that i was in love with her. I was no afraid of having an argue with her because i want to know her and showing only the 'positive' or the 'hhappy' side of her wasnt meeting her.

I dont know if you understand, but you agreed that that argue was that ugly , that bad to stop talking to me?

[chados]

I'm not sure what you're saying here. You argued and if you didn't stand up for yourself she would have thought u loved her?

 

Sure I can see that if you always do what the other person tells you to. But you don't have to argue about everything to show her whatever you want to show her.

 

 

I mean why would you argue to show her you don't like her? That doesn't make any sense. If you disagree then do that. Sometimes even if you disagree it might be good to just let it go or say I don't know.

 

You asked if it was wrong of her to leave you cause of an argument. I still have no clue what you were arguing about. She said you were addicted to her. Probably didn't give her any space. She told you instead of hiding it and you end up getting mad at her. Of course she's gonna get defensive cause no matter who's right or wrong this was clearly bothering her. Else she wouldn't have told you. Since you didn't respect that she doesn't respect you back.

 

 

If someone ever says you're addicted to me then you say, no I'm completely fine without you, I just enjoy your company like with any other friend

Edited October 25, 2014 by chados

[w11gu]

I'm not sure what you're saying here. You argued and if you didn't stand up for yourself she would have thought u loved her?

 

Sure I can see that if you always do what the other person tells you to. But you don't have to argue about everything to show her whatever you want to show her.

 

 

I mean why would you argue to show her you don't like her? That doesn't make any sense. If you disagree then do that. Sometimes even if you disagree it might be good to just let it go or say I don't know.

 

You asked if it was wrong of her to leave you cause of an argument. I still have no clue what you were arguing about. She said you were addicted to her. Probably didn't give her any space. She told you instead of hiding it and you end up getting mad at her. Of course she's gonna get defensive cause no matter who's right or wrong this was clearly bothering her. Else she wouldn't have told you. Since you didn't respect that she doesn't respect you back.

 

 

If someone ever says you're addicted to me then you say, no I'm completely fine without you, I just enjoy your company like with any other friend

 

you did not understand me !

 

We didnt argue all the time, sometimes we had argues but small things.

I didn't argue to show something, I argue because I disagreed with her. I said, if I think this way about something why hide? I don't think that hide your opinion is right! And btw after the argue I allways apoogized to her, even if I thought that I was right.

 

She didn't said I was addicted to her. I said that I was a bit addicted to her, because everyday, since we woke up until we lay down, we were speaking. And she didn't talked to me like 3 days in a row. Long Story Short, I said that I was a bit addicted to her, she didnt said anything !!

[chados]

you did not understand me !

 

We didnt argue all the time, sometimes we had argues but small things.

I didn't argue to show something, I argue because I disagreed with her. I said, if I think this way about something why hide? I don't think that hide your opinion is right! And btw after the argue I allways apoogized to her, even if I thought that I was right.

 

but theres a difference between discussing things and arguing. and it depends what you are talking about. sometimes its okey to disagree and let go. hiding your opinion isnt always bad. if you disagree about everything then you obviously wont fit together. and why appologizing if you are right? it will only make yourself look weak and its obvious that you cant stand up for yourself. its like telling her that she can get away with anything. people argue in a relationship but you dont have to argue with someone youve never met. just let them believe what they want to believe. maybe she thinks shes right about everything too?

 

She didn't said I was addicted to her. I said that I was a bit addicted to her, because everyday, since we woke up until we lay down, we were speaking. And she didn't talked to me like 3 days in a row. Long Story Short, I said that I was a bit addicted to her, she didnt said anything !!

 

 

this will come out as if you need her to live your life. maybe as a couple you can get away with this but to tell someone you dont know will make her unable to work for anything to happen. leave some mystery behind you. be busy sometimes and let the other person invest in you. let her text you first. let her ask questions etc. first become her friend then her boyfriend and not the other way around.

[w11gu]

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this will come out as if you need her to live your life. maybe as a couple you can get away with this but to tell someone you dont know will make her unable to work for anything to happen. leave some mystery behind you. be busy sometimes and let the other person invest in you. let her text you first. let her ask questions etc. first become her friend then her boyfriend and not the other way around.

 

You still didnt understood me.

I said to the forum that I was a bit addicted to talk to her. I never said that to her directly ! But I know what was my mistake, in the past 2 hours i am reading our messages. She warned me that if I said that i like her, she will start to close her self. Get some distance from me. Because it makes her uncomfortable.

After her last words to me, I sent her alot of messages, and in that messages you could see how much I liked her. That was my mistake!! FELLING IN LOVE WITH HER WAS MY MISTAKE. I really hate myself right now but she don't understand that I have no control about my feelings ?

[chados]

No you can't control your feelings but you can handle them. If someone says if you like me I'm leaving you then it's time to think wether it's a good idea to talk to this person anymore. You still haven't met her and I can promise you that most likely she will be different then on the internet , for better or for worse. It's time to move on. Things look bad right now but it will get better. Just don't sit inside and wait for it to happen. Go out and get what you want in life and start trying today.

[w11gu]

No you can't control your feelings but you can handle them. If someone says if you like me I'm leaving you then it's time to think wether it's a good idea to talk to this person anymore. You still haven't met her and I can promise you that most likely she will be different then on the internet , for better or for worse. It's time to move on. Things look bad right now but it will get better. Just don't sit inside and wait for it to happen. Go out and get what you want in life and start trying today.

 

I'm trying to move on but its so hard. Its like my heart is bound by chains and every step I make a piece of it gets destroyed.

I'm trying to get myself busy but that don't work, everything I make I do it thinking of how proud she would be for me, its stupid I know!

I will live one day at a time, but I will be always with an eye on the past.

[chados]

I'm trying to move on but its so hard. Its like my heart is bound by chains and every step I make a piece of it gets destroyed.

I'm trying to get myself busy but that don't work, everything I make I do it thinking of how proud she would be for me, its stupid I know!

I will live one day at a time, but I will be always with an eye on the past.

 

 

 

its normal to feel this way. you are not unique belive it or not. i was devastated one time when a girlfriend broke up with me even though i was the one who cared the least about the relationship. its not always about the feelings but more the fact that someone leaves you. i also thought ill never feel better. maybe i should wait for her. if she wouldnt had broke up with me i wouldnt have met my girlfriend that i enjoy being with so much more. and i have never looked back.

 

dont believe for a second that a internet crush will ruin your life. the only one who can do that is yourself. one day i woke up and told myself break all contact with her. remove all pictures and everything that reminds me of her. tell her that im done talking to her. go out and find someone else. this is the mindset you gotta have. yes maybe now its impossible to think that way but either you wait it out until you feel better or you just do it.

[w11gu]

its normal to feel this way. you are not unique belive it or not. i was devastated one time when a girlfriend broke up with me even though i was the one who cared the least about the relationship. its not always about the feelings but more the fact that someone leaves you. i also thought ill never feel better. maybe i should wait for her. if she wouldnt had broke up with me i wouldnt have met my girlfriend that i enjoy being with so much more. and i have never looked back.

 

dont believe for a second that a internet crush will ruin your life. the only one who can do that is yourself. one day i woke up and told myself break all contact with her. remove all pictures and everything that reminds me of her. tell her that im done talking to her. go out and find someone else. this is the mindset you gotta have. yes maybe now its impossible to think that way but either you wait it out until you feel better or you just do it.

 

Its not that easy for me to just find a girl and start talking to her in person. If she was in my school I probably would not talk to her. I'm too shy for that. I had never been good at talking to girls, online i'm a different person, I talk alot, I am much more fun, I show my real me but in real life its so hard for me. And I dont live in a place full of girls, the few girls that i see daily have boyfriend, or are, how to say this without ofend someone, have a few friends with benefits. Not my type.

I had girlfriends, most likely not as much as normal guy of my age but I don't complain. And in that little few girlfriends that I had, I never felt to real as I do now.

[chados]

Its not that easy for me to just find a girl and start talking to her in person. If she was in my school I probably would not talk to her. I'm too shy for that. I had never been good at talking to girls, online i'm a different person, I talk alot, I am much more fun, I show my real me but in real life its so hard for me. And I dont live in a place full of girls, the few girls that i see daily have boyfriend, or are, how to say this without ofend someone, have a few friends with benefits. Not my type.

I had girlfriends, most likely not as much as normal guy of my age but I don't complain. And in that little few girlfriends that I had, I never felt to real as I do now.

 

 

 

 

reason why you feel this way has a lot to do with her resenting you im pretty sure. you probably liked here a lot dont get me wrong but theres thin line between loneliness/being abandoned and love sometimes. you get these mixed feelings and think she was your everything. and maybe she was at that time. but it most likely has more to do with you not discovering your potentials in life.

 

i was like you once. scared and got out of my social circle. one day i woke up and told myself to be more confident and a better person. i studied what went wrong. and today i have a girlfriend that would have been way out of my league. this has to do with life experience more then anything. youre young and you have been crushed. now you can only go up.

 

if my girlfriend never would have dumped me i wouldnt have been where i am today. actually if i was like i am now then she might never dumped me. dont see this as failure. this is a way for you to move forward becoming a man.

 

and just as an extra thing i wanna throw in there. at 18 you dont need a girlfriend. you need to have fun and enjoy life. dont sit home at your computer to much. now it seems amazing but wait a few years and you will feel like youve wasted to much time discovering how much you have to offer yourself and others!

[w11gu]

reason why you feel this way has a lot to do with her resenting you im pretty sure. you probably liked here a lot dont get me wrong but theres thin line between loneliness/being abandoned and love sometimes. you get these mixed feelings and think she was your everything. and maybe she was at that time. but it most likely has more to do with you not discovering your potentials in life.

 

i was like you once. scared and got out of my social circle. one day i woke up and told myself to be more confident and a better person. i studied what went wrong. and today i have a girlfriend that would have been way out of my league. this has to do with life experience more then anything. youre young and you have been crushed. now you can only go up.

 

if my girlfriend never would have dumped me i wouldnt have been where i am today. actually if i was like i am now then she might never dumped me. dont see this as failure. this is a way for you to move forward becoming a man.

 

and just as an extra thing i wanna throw in there. at 18 you dont need a girlfriend. you need to have fun and enjoy life. dont sit home at your computer to much. now it seems amazing but wait a few years and you will feel like youve wasted to much time discovering how much you have to offer yourself and others!

 

I just know that i don't want to lose that girl, i can love her but i just wanted us be friends. I don't want her just because i love her, but because i need her and i miss her...

[chados]

trust me, you dont want to be friends with someone that doesnt love you back its horrible.

 

 

dont use the word need. never have that as a mindset. we all want people around us but we dont need anyone. without sounding mean but listen to yourself. its not that i dont understand you or that i think youre being stupid, and its not like i havent been this desperate myself back in the days. this is a girl you met online and youve never met.

 

she was nice to you and you had fun. she didnt want anything else then friendship and she made that clear. it wasnt a dating site either. i can understand you but i cannot agree that you need her. you managed to live without her before, why cant you now?.

 

if you feel that you need people you arent secure in yourself and then others wont feel secure with you. work on being independent and invest equally in or outside a relationship. dont offer more then you recieve.

 

and this i wont get over her ever is simply not true. probably 90% of the people in here are here because they think they can never live normally again, ask anyone here. they will tell you that you'll get over it.

 

imagine when we were kids. i had relationships all the time. of course it wasnt anything serious like it is now. more like holding hands and giving out hugs. but never did anyone care while breaking up. because we knew that we had a long life to find people. and as soon as we hit adulthood we get scared. its not as easy anymore. you cant just ask someone if they want to be together. you need to work for it. embrase the fun of dating and being single instead. you have time for relationships.

[w11gu]

trust me, you dont want to be friends with someone that doesnt love you back its horrible.

 

She liked me, I could see that in our messages...

 

 

dont use the word need. never have that as a mindset. we all want people around us but we dont need anyone. without sounding mean but listen to yourself. its not that i dont understand you or that i think youre being stupid, and its not like i havent been this desperate myself back in the days. this is a girl you met online and youve never met.

 

I agreed...

 

she was nice to you and you had fun. she didnt want anything else then friendship and she made that clear. it wasnt a dating site either.

 

I didn't wanted anything else then a friendship! I loved her but i just wanted to talk to her, be friends with her.

 

 

imagine when we were kids. i had relationships all the time. of course it wasnt anything serious like it is now. more like holding hands and giving out hugs.

 

When I was a kid i could talk to every girl with no problem. Now... Its just too stupid because, I can only say what i think to a girl when i know she is trustworthy... I simply just don't even say 20% of what i think.

 

PS. while writing that i felt stupid, and shamefull but its true.

[chados]

maybe she did like you. maybe she was lonely and needed comfort for that time being, and then she felt better and didnt need it anymore.

 

 

its hard to believe you only wanted to be friends after what youve typed but. it really doesnt matter. what you should learn is to express yourself more confident and maybe not to fast always.

 

on a sidenote. you really can get away by saying things to someone you dont know that well. if i say i like you with a smile and a pat on the back isnt the same as i think im getting feelings for you. but it can build up some interest just as good.

 

people like to hear things like that. when youre confident and funny. so dont be afraid of talking.

[w11gu]

maybe she did like you. maybe she was lonely and needed comfort for that time being, and then she felt better and didnt need it anymore.

 

Well, i don't believe that. I'm just saying this because of all the things she said to me. Of course i won't share it, at least for now, because its too personal.

I think we both were lonely in this summer, I could go out, for some reasons, and she spend almost the same time as me in home so...

 

 

its hard to believe you only wanted to be friends after what youve typed but.

 

Of course i wanted only to be a friend, we are 2400 km away from each other, on different countries. Deep down, I know that i want more than friends, but my brain says : of course we can't be more than just friends, at least not yet. I'm maybe imature about this things, but I still got notion [i don't know if im writting correctly, sry if i wrote it wrong]

 

on a sidenote. you really can get away by saying things to someone you dont know that well. if i say i like you with a smile and a pat on the back isnt the same as i think im getting feelings for you. but it can build up some interest just as good.

 

Again will say, I'm just saying that because because of all the things she said to me.

 

people like to hear things like that. when youre confident and funny. so dont be afraid of talking.

 

In real life i'm a totally normal person, apparently happy. Just 1 friend knows this story about me and her, and not even he saw me crying around or something like that. My friends noticed that i was different just 1 day, the sadness inside my mask was too strong and she sold me out.

All this to say i'm still enjoyable in real life, but i can't be confident.

[chados]

its so easy to be in denial when youre still upset about it. its easier to look when you feel better. as an outsider and a person whos been in equal situations before. when someone shows a lot of interest and pulls back whenever you start showing her i would say its a sign that she either lost interest or she was looking for comfort, maybe without realizing it herself.

 

 

 

when i was lets say 15 i loved when girls talked to me and sometimes i started to get interested, then they did the same to me and i started to pull back. after this happened i understood that it was mostly me being lonely. if however i would have met these people more outside the internet it could have been different who knows. not saying internet is bad but i think its important that both are genuinly interested at first sight in some way. this sounds more like a teenage crush to me. a "i dont know what i want thing".

 

confidence comes with time and by challenging yourself. so challenge yourself. talk to people you normally wouldnt. always smile.

 

start with something simple like asking the cutest girl in school what time it is.

[w11gu]

its so easy to be in denial when youre still upset about it. its easier to look when you feel better. as an outsider and a person whos been in equal situations before. when someone shows a lot of interest and pulls back whenever you start showing her i would say its a sign that she either lost interest or she was looking for comfort, maybe without realizing it herself.

 

 

 

when i was lets say 15 i loved when girls talked to me and sometimes i started to get interested, then they did the same to me and i started to pull back. after this happened i understood that it was mostly me being lonely. if however i would have met these people more outside the internet it could have been different who knows. not saying internet is bad but i think its important that both are genuinly interested at first sight in some way. this sounds more like a teenage crush to me. a "i dont know what i want thing".

 

confidence comes with time and by challenging yourself. so challenge yourself. talk to people you normally wouldnt. always smile.

 

start with something simple like asking the cutest girl in school what time it is.

 

Asking the time to the cutest girl in school is easy, its a question, you get the answer, bye. I'm not afraid of this "easy talk".

[chados]

Asking the time to the cutest girl in school is easy, its a question, you get the answer, bye. I'm not afraid of this "easy talk".

 

 

just an example. you know what youre afraid of more then anyone else do. work on those things.

[connor91]

Asking the time to the cutest girl in school is easy, its a question, you get the answer, bye. I'm not afraid of this "easy talk".

 

Hey dude. How's things lately?

[w11gu]

Hey dude. How's things lately?

 

Ok I guess, i'm a little busy with school now :S

[w11gu]

Today I'm felling not that good.

I had a crazy dream and I think my fellings for her are getting stronger instead of weaker.

I don't know what to do

I need to talk to someone, I've never felt so alone........................

 

PS. And don't tell me to meet new people !!

[w11gu]

just an example. you know what youre afraid of more then anyone else do. work on those things.

 

Well, i can't do that talk because the girls that I found the most cute, are allways surrounded by other guys, so i stay away, because if i go there, I see myself like a dog after a bone --.

 

And about my post there, I overreacted because they aren't stronger, i just fell them more, they became more real, more lucid... Whatever i can't explain it... I'm sry. I can't be fixed by anyone other than her.

[w11gu]

Anyone? No ? Ok

[justwhoiam]

Anyone? No ? Ok

What should we say to someone claiming that he can only be fixed by her? It's quite sick, once things have been over for a long time.