FusionCutter Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 So are you saying she should not confess and just go along happily deceiving and abusing her husband? Yeah, that's constructive. My opinion is that while it's true that some people just flamed her for what she did, she still got plenty of solid constructive advice. Her problem was that the advice offered was not what she wanted to hear. I think she probably wanted to hear that what she was doing is okay and justified. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I think she probably wanted to hear that what she was doing is okay and justified. Alright then! OP, don't worry. Your OM loves you deeply, more than your husband ever will. There are no rules in war and love, who cares what society thinks, what do they know anyway. So many other people do it too, have gone through the same, and it hasn't hurt anyone, no? And if you ever have a baby, and don't know whose it is, be sure to make a paternity test with OM so both of you know for sure it's yours and can share the fruits of your eternal love and bond which your husband pays for. Your OM understands you better than any other man ever will. Not to mention the hot sex and compliments. See, he's probably even giving you more attention than your husband! Why would anyone judge you for getting the happiness you truly deserve? ...Gosh, writing this made me feel filthy. No offense. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Man Mountain Makino Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I tried to present the situation in a mature and intelligent way. I honestly don't thing maturity is your strong suit. I don't know what you want - a bunch of strangers giving you permission to get a divorce? My advice is make a decision, stick to it, and follow through. Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Wow... this woman is NOT a good person. I wish we could find a way to make selfish jerks like this tattooed or something. She takes her husband and reduces him down to a damn checklist... then affairs around with some douchebag who it's likely wants nothing more than sex. At some point women need to back off these stupid checklists and focus on how the guy makes you feel. It really doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out she made a mistake marrying this poor bastard. She is correct that if she decides to leave it's best to keep the affair a secret. However... she doesn't seem like she will be making any kind of choice. She wants her affair and Mr. Checklist too. @sshat! Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I think she probably wanted to hear that what she was doing is okay and justified. I disagree with this, I believe she completely understands that she is doing the absolutely Most horrendous thing she can do to Her new Husband as well as being a cheat she's now a grown woman lying to her mother and father, friends and coworkers because she is having Sex with two men and doesn't want to stop BUT is looking for a way to be with her OM WITHOUT Ruining her pretty Reputation... so she wrote here in a previous post. ...still totally bogue though. And the goal? Not probable to achieve. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Btrade Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 For heavens sake divorce husband. Let him go before you waste any more of his life. The reason to tell him of the affair is for him, not you. It will allow him to ut his feelings for you and not wonder "what ge did wrong" Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 never should've gotten married in the first place. what you want is for people to tell you that everything will eventually work out for the best, all the while you continue to cheat on your new husband- NOT GONNA HAPPEN HERE! you know what you have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Younarew correct to leave the thread. Plenty of negative advice from some hurt victims, but not a lot of constructive discussion. You hit the nail on the head with your last post. Hang in there and I'm sure the correct decision will be apparent in the near future. She got honest advice on what would absolutely be the moral way to treat her clueless husband. That's pretty damn constructive. No hand-holding, no ego-massaging...posters here tend to be blunt and to-the-point with their advice. She says she cares about how people phrase their advice. People have to sound nice and understanding and comforting...otherwise she ignores whatever they have to say. Do you not see the irony in this? She cares so much about protecting her delicate ego from the slightest bit of criticism...yet she couldn't give two sh*ts about her husband's feelings or his right to know the truth. Disgusting If a grown woman can't handle blunt honesty, that's a poor reflection on her maturity. We're not her nannies. Sugar-coating and going "there, there...you poor creature" isn't constructive. Constructive advice is advice encouraging positive change. OP got nothing but constructive advice. The problem is...she doesn't have the courage to change! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jnel921 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 You say you love the OM.....why? Other than making you laugh and your panties wet....what exactly does he have to offer? Don't tell us how great your H is yet you have the ability to destroy your M with your actions. Do you even know what M is? You were eyeballing this OM before you even said I Do. This is the part we BS cannot get past. When you say you love us. LOVE brings your A$$ home. Love is what reminds you that being with OM is not honoring your vows. Be honest with you H. He may still be able to annul the M. If you truly beleive he is a great guy then he deserves a great woman who will be monogamous and love and respect only him. You are selfish and living a lie with your H. Let him go. If you think the OM situation will work in your favor....it won't. That guy was willing to share you. What does that say? You think his heart belongs to you? I doubt that very much. In time you will see the truth. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jnel921 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Alright everyone. I tried to come on here and objectively ask for advice. I tried to present the situation in a mature and intelligent way. I have tried to honestly answer all questions. The majority of you were not able to offer anything constructive. I think most of you are here for sheer entertainment value and outright voyeurism rather than a desire to help anyone. I don't know what I expected coming on the internet for help. For those that were able to offer advice in a friendly manner, thank you. Have a good day everyone. This is a clear example of someone who does not want any advice, only permission to continue her bad behavior. She shouldn't assume who we are here. I have been on this site for many years. Sharing my story, hoping that my hurt as a BS will shed some light on people like the OP who are clueless as to how they make their BS feel once the A is brought to light. If she was discovered by her H or Family I am sure she'd be singing a different tune. She is still enjoying the multiple men and orgasms and wants to justify this here. Sorry honey that is not going to happen. Maybe on a pure cheating site where everyone is giving you a high five for your irresponsible decisions that may work. But this is and has been a legitimate source of help and healing for myself and others. Stick around and read....you may learn something. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Star2880 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 (edited) @mom Thats what Im so worried about. If i can objectively look at the two of them, and my husband can outrank the other guy in every area, shouldn't i stay with him and just try to get some passion back/ fall back in love with him? Also, it makes no sense to me that i can KNOW my husband is better, but still be so in love with this other person. What is wrong with me. I have stayed with husband after a similar situation. It has been 9 months seen my ExAP stopped talking to me after his wife found out. I have been working really hard to make my marriage work for my husband and my daughter but I can honestly say that trying to fall back in love with someone (my husband) is extremely hard, when you have met a person that felt like your soul mate. My head is constantly shouting to try and try and try but my heart is still stupidly wanting someone that has decided to take another road. I hope you can move forward either with your husband or the new man. Both is horrid for everyone and destroys you in every way. Edited October 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts