Told him it's done.Really hurting.. .(Updated)

[Owl]

"Friends and family looking at her happy massage-dinner post might be thinking, wow what a great husband, she is so lucky, all this while the man is professing his love to another. "

 

- EXACTLY!!! THIS is what really frustrates me.. I tried to leave him and he was soo after me, saying how depressed he was, that he needs me, he needs my love and care etc..telling that he loves me.. While on the other end of the pond, he is going and "pampering" wife and looking to the world as if he's a great husband..he himself admits that his posts on FB is superficial and he admits to me how much pain he is in beneath all that, and that his marriage is broken, ruined, hes not happy, bla bla etc..

 

Whats frustrating is that..even though he says all this, he eventually goes back to her (and remember I am not expecting him to leave her, as I am married myself) and then expects ME to provide the love and care..but then what do I get for it? just a few hours of his time, few dinners now and then, kisses, and then sex.. It pains me everytime I see posts like that, even though I know they are FAKE but he's making himself out to be what he is not to the rest of the ppl..

 

I want to be able to profess our love in public, enjoy things with him without having to hide, etc..but I guess no way to do this.. But still its frustrating how he is doing all this with me behind Wifes back and then going and doing stuff for her , but expects LOVE and care from me.. like what the heck am I ? why should I be responsible for that? He says he loves me and likes me a lot.. ARGHH...

 

If I try to leave it, he is not letting it go... and I also at the same time, it pains me to stay in the affair..So is there any solution as to how I can remain in contact with him, just be as friends, but keep him at a distance and not get too close so that I am not affected by his life and what he does with wife? Like cant I just be simple friends on social media and just not meet him or something like that?

 

For most people...no, that's simply not possible after the affair, or during it.

 

Here's the thing...once you cross the line between 'friendship' and 'lovers'...especially with something as volatile as an affair...it's virtually impossible to 'go back'...especially when one or the other (or both) still harbor feelings beyond friendship.

 

I've not read the whole thread. But my thoughts are pretty simple. Either end it with him completely...or accept that this what you've chosen to have going on in your life.

 

If he 'refuses to let you go'...make it no longer worth his while to pursue you. Let him know that you're done...and if he doesn't let you go, the world will know the truth about his actions. Don't make it an idle threat...the bottom line is that from his perspective, keeping you in his life will cost more than letting you go.

 

I'm not saying that any of this is easy...but it's not complicated.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I want to be able to profess our love in public, enjoy things with him without having to hide, etc..but I guess no way to do this.. But still its frustrating how he is doing all this with me behind Wifes back and then going and doing stuff for her , but expects LOVE and care from me.. like what the heck am I ? why should I be responsible for that? He says he loves me and likes me a lot.. ARGHH...

 

You're both married. Neither are in a position to do that and neither intend to leave your spouses. What else do you expect from your affair? You give him love, sex, and support. You both are staying married, would it not be counterproductive to treat your spouses like crap, like you're not married? Would it not be counterproductive to what you both claim as your goal to stay with your spouses, to profess your love in public? You say you're frustrated that he is having an affair behind his wife's back, when that's what you both say you want! That's what an affair IS! He wants an affair and to remain married IN A MARITAL relationship with his wife. You say you want the same thing but you obviously want more. How can you realistically have it both ways?

 

Do you treat you H like crap (besides the A I mean)? Do you not act like a wide to him? Do things for him?

[DKT3]

"Friends and family looking at her happy massage-dinner post might be thinking, wow what a great husband, she is so lucky, all this while the man is professing his love to another. "

 

- EXACTLY!!! THIS is what really frustrates me.. I tried to leave him and he was soo after me, saying how depressed he was, that he needs me, he needs my love and care etc..telling that he loves me.. While on the other end of the pond, he is going and "pampering" wife and looking to the world as if he's a great husband..he himself admits that his posts on FB is superficial and he admits to me how much pain he is in beneath all that, and that his marriage is broken, ruined, hes not happy, bla bla etc..

 

Whats frustrating is that..even though he says all this, he eventually goes back to her (and remember I am not expecting him to leave her, as I am married myself) and then expects ME to provide the love and care..but then what do I get for it? just a few hours of his time, few dinners now and then, kisses, and then sex.. It pains me everytime I see posts like that, even though I know they are FAKE but he's making himself out to be what he is not to the rest of the ppl..

 

I want to be able to profess our love in public, enjoy things with him without having to hide, etc..but I guess no way to do this.. But still its frustrating how he is doing all this with me behind Wifes back and then going and doing stuff for her , but expects LOVE and care from me.. like what the heck am I ? why should I be responsible for that? He says he loves me and likes me a lot.. ARGHH...

 

If I try to leave it, he is not letting it go... and I also at the same time, it pains me to stay in the affair..So is there any solution as to how I can remain in contact with him, just be as friends, but keep him at a distance and not get too close so that I am not affected by his life and what he does with wife? Like cant I just be simple friends on social media and just not meet him or something like that?

 

Wow!! Did you actually read this?

 

So what you want is to stay married to your husband and have the MM treat you like his wife? This is becoming harder and harder to believe with every post. HE IS MARRIED and it isn't to you. If this story is real (which I'm really starting to doubt) your not emotionally mature enough to carry on one relationship, let alone an affair. Its clear your desire is to be at the center of both mens world, in the end you will end up alone.

 

You take no advise here, you refuse to even talk about your husband and you being totally unreasonable for a MOW.

 

None of this makes any sense.

[jellybean89]

Hello234 it is a proven fact, the more people post how happy they are, and try to sell it on social media, the more likely it is a farce. I have seen it with friends I know are in marriages in which they both despise one another, but to look at their profile, you would think they were in love newlyweds.

 

I'd like to see those stats too.

 

My point has little to do with how his wife views her life, but the fact that there is often much more behind the happy illusion people press too hard on their social media. This thread proves the point. Friends and family looking at her happy massage-dinner post might be thinking, wow what a great husband, she is so lucky, all this while the man is professing his love to another.

 

What point are you proving?

 

Some people do post real happy pictures on social media that actually reflect their lives. ...During struggles there are still happy times in there too. We have had a brutal year but there have been lots of great times too.

 

Exactly. I know it's not a "proven fact" but there are people on social media who are happy and don't use social media to pretend or play make believe. It is a proven fact tho that not everyone on FB is having an affair. Some people use it to keep in touch with family, friends, etc...not affair partners.

 

"Friends and family looking at her happy massage-dinner post might be thinking, wow what a great husband, she is so lucky, all this while the man is professing his love to another. "

 

- EXACTLY!!! THIS is what really frustrates me.. I tried to leave him and he was soo after me, saying how depressed he was, that he needs me, he needs my love and care etc..telling that he loves me.. While on the other end of the pond, he is going and "pampering" wife and looking to the world as if he's a great husband..he himself admits that his posts on FB is superficial and he admits to me how much pain he is in beneath all that, and that his marriage is broken, ruined, hes not happy, bla bla etc..

 

Whats frustrating is that..even though he says all this, he eventually goes back to her (and remember I am not expecting him to leave her, as I am married myself) and then expects ME to provide the love and care..but then what do I get for it? just a few hours of his time, few dinners now and then, kisses, and then sex.. It pains me everytime I see posts like that, even though I know they are FAKE but he's making himself out to be what he is not to the rest of the ppl..

 

I want to be able to profess our love in public, enjoy things with him without having to hide, etc..but I guess no way to do this.. But still its frustrating how he is doing all this with me behind Wifes back and then going and doing stuff for her , but expects LOVE and care from me.. like what the heck am I ? why should I be responsible for that? He says he loves me and likes me a lot.. ARGHH...

 

If I try to leave it, he is not letting it go... and I also at the same time, it pains me to stay in the affair..So is there any solution as to how I can remain in contact with him, just be as friends, but keep him at a distance and not get too close so that I am not affected by his life and what he does with wife? Like cant I just be simple friends on social media and just not meet him or something like that?

 

Are you kidding? You want to be able to profess your love for the MM to the world and walk around in love? Don't you think your hubby would have an issue with that? You can't be friends with a person you are in love with but who isn't feeling the same.

 

I'm so confused why you are so upset that he spends time with his wife...is it because you want the same treatment as his wife, but stay married to your H?

[gettingstronger]

If I try to leave it, he is not letting it go... and I also at the same time, it pains me to stay in the affair..So is there any solution as to how I can remain in contact with him, just be as friends, but keep him at a distance and not get too close so that I am not affected by his life and what he does with wife? Like cant I just be simple friends on social media and just not meet him or something like that?

 

 

From your posts, I would have to say no, you can not. Others may be able to but you stalk his FB page and then get deeply hurt by it. You soothe yourself by saying its all a lie, etc... so by you own admission it seems you are not ready to be his friend- friends would be happy that he is happy, friends would not think bad thoughts about him being with his wife-

 

You are simply not ready or able to be his friend-you are overly invested in his life with his wife and it causes you great pain-

[goodyblue]

If I try to leave it, he is not letting it go... and I also at the same time, it pains me to stay in the affair..So is there any solution as to how I can remain in contact with him, just be as friends, but keep him at a distance and not get too close so that I am not affected by his life and what he does with wife? Like cant I just be simple friends on social media and just not meet him or something like that?

 

 

From your posts, I would have to say no, you can not. Others may be able to but you stalk his FB page and then get deeply hurt by it. You soothe yourself by saying its all a lie, etc... so by you own admission it seems you are not ready to be his friend- friends would be happy that he is happy, friends would not think bad thoughts about him being with his wife-

 

You are simply not ready or able to be his friend-you are overly invested in his life with his wife and it causes you great pain-

 

I agree with this completely. I was friends with my very first boyfriend... twenty years later. There is just no.way when emotions are still running so high.

[Hope Shimmers]

Your posts are just filled with nastiness, glad you are not posting on an suicide hotline. Geesh. Just hand out a glock and tell people to squeeze. .

 

I have had these thoughts many times and have to agree. Tone and wording is a huge issue with posts and how they come across, and assumptions are not accurate or in any way helpful.

 

I'd like to see those stats too.

 

Exactly. I know it's not a "proven fact" but there are people on social media who are happy and don't use social media to pretend or play make believe. It is a proven fact tho that not everyone on FB is having an affair. Some people use it to keep in touch with family, friends, etc...not affair partners.

 

Of course there are many people on social media who are happily married (or single). No one said that everyone on Facebook was having an affair, for God's sake.

 

The point has been missed IMO, which is that some people who post messages like that on Facebook do so because they need to convince themselves and their close "others" that they are happy in their relationships even though they are not. I have an entire group of friends on Facebook who I know fall into that category.

 

Others post because (perhaps like this particular woman) they think they are happy in their relationship because they don't know that their loving spouse is professing love for another person. Maybe they know in the back of their minds but can't really admit it, or maybe they have no clue and are just sharing some very good moments in their opinion. Who knows.

 

And of course people post during happy times even if their overall relationship is not happy. Just as there are people who don't post at all when their overall relationship is not happy, or if it IS happy, if they just choose not to post such topics at all for any reason (like me).

 

The point is that you can't tell anything by a post on Facebook.

 

I'm so confused why you are so upset that he spends time with his wife...is it because you want the same treatment as his wife, but stay married to your H?

 

I know you are confused by this - I think you have to live in those shoes for awhile to really understand it.

 

She isn't confused that he spends time with his wife. She was just venting because she happened to see this particular post on this particular facebook page, even knowing they are married, however rational that might not seem (affairs and feelings involved are not always rational). This particular post led her to think - like many others on Facebook think - that because the message was so happy and upbeat and "together", that they are happy together overall and this is not what he conveyed to her. She was venting and I can understand it, in that position. Or, she was feeling that MM lied to her when he said what he did to her because clearly he was spending quality time with Wife. Or, she was feeling frustrated that MM could say what he did to her and then turn around and act all happily married to Wife. Or, she was just pissed off having to read it, no matter what he meant, and was venting, which is her right to do on this thread here on the OM/OW forum, whether anyone else agrees with her principles or not.

 

I can understand that feeling, however right or wrong the affair is. I'm not going to judge, but rather just respond to the post, which is the point IMO.

Edited October 1, 2014 by Hope Shimmers

[Hope Shimmers]

I am so overwhelmed with sadness right now, I cant even move or type.. I think I am going to need a lot of encouraging words and support today.. seriously..i am scared I am going to fall apart.

 

So I was caving in, and actually was thinking over the weekend about just being in touch with him, saying OK, fine, we will continue... Yesterday my feelings completely changed.. He tells me how bad his marriage is, and yesterday I see on FB(I know, I shouldn't be on FB looking at him and his family), his wife puts up a picture of them at a restaurant and say how she has been soo pampered by her hubby with a meal, a massage, dinner and drinks at home, etc... My heart just fell.. I couldn't move.. He just told me on Friday that he misses me, is so depressed, etc.. and yet hes still having the mood to go and do all this for his wife.. NOTE- Remember in my case, I don't expect him to leave her or anything, im married too, but I just feel like hes just insincere with me... he talks about how he loves me, and in his other life that he leads, he seems to be happy.. Or , it could be that they love to show off as if they are the "perfect couple", so maybe I m wrong to take it so deeply to heart? maybe I shud just see posts like that and dismiss it thinking that they are truly unhappy, as he says, he has a lot of "pain" beneath those pics and ppl just think that they are the "perfect couple"

 

That killed me and I immediately messaged him saying just leave me and be happy.. I just cant go on..This time I am just going to be strong and stick by this.. and he called me a flake, saying how I changed my mind, etc... I am so hurt.. Don't I have a right to be after seeing tat post? how he is "pampering" wife? or am I just making a big deal of it and should ignore it? did it do the right thing by ending it again?

 

Hello234,

 

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I remember the feeling, however irrational some people think it is. It's real.

 

Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Feeling this way about someone else who is not your husband? I know you are between a rock and a hard place and it feels impossible to get out. You have to do it though, however hard it is, and stop this relationship with him because it is going NOWHERE except to promise that you will be destroyed if you keep this up. Think... since you don't want to divorce, where do you see this in 2 years? In five?

 

Really THINK about if this is how you want to live your life and if, many years later, if you do this - if you will look back and feel good about how you spent this time when your kids were young and if you are happy about how your life turned out while giving essentially all your passion and love to a man who is not your husband, in a relationship doomed to go nowhere. Do not be one of the people who look back years later and wish they could live that time again. You can NEVER replace that time to your kids or to your spouse.

[hello234]

So, after having started an affair with an MM(im also an MW) for 5 months, ive noticed, its been a lot of stress and a lot of PAIN due to the fact that we are married, not planning to leave spouses, and everyday he goes home to his wife, has his own life etc etc.. and being away pains me a lot..also, MM is a flirt, he talks to , I am sure, lot of women on HIs FB and on his chats.. this has been very painful for me as I feel insecure.. But hey, I am not the wife..i have no say in that right?

 

I tried cutting him off, going NC but that didnt work well cuz I missed him generally as a person and he couldn't let it go... So I have decided that the only way to just not get stressed and not experience pain or tension over his life, is to just take the relationship lightly.. Not get too emotionally involved.. (I know sometimes its inevitable).. Just dismiss his actions (flirts, etc) and think tha hey, its not my problem- its his family's problem, and just basically go out, enjoy with him, have a good time , have intimacy, and come back.. not let his personal relations or life affect me and my mood..In fact, advise and encourage him to see others and be cool about it..give him freedom, at the same time, ask him to let me know if he's having sex with anyone (for my health purposes only). This is the mindset and route I m trying to go by.. How does this sound to u guys? Does it sound like im very cool and carefree? Cuz that's how I wanna be for my own sanity

 

Do any of u take ur affairs light to heart, not get too emotionally attached, just go, spend time, have fun, talk, still maintain contact, but not get too emotionally involved with his life, or affected by his behavior and actions.. Any of u went down this path? How is it? is it very freeing and no stress?

[GoldenAxe]

Honestly, if I had the chance to not enter into an A again, Id take it. One can say "I'm gonna take it lightly" but even myself, the person I thought was tough as nails, fell victim.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

The way you are talking about your expectations of him... makes me think you need to really try to detach more than anything.

 

My LDR SM is married and stressed out about us and her marriage. From my over thinking of her feelings and life, I would back off when she wanted me not to. Until things settled down between us, her stress went away.

 

Sometimes thinking too much about things can be your worst enemy.

 

PS... Sex and health reasons are two different things. So don't think sex is required for heath reasons. As I seen way too many people go mad more from sex than without.

[Owl]

It sounds to me like you're avoiding investing emotionally further in this relationship so that you don't get hurt more by his actions/attitudes.

 

Which then begs the question to me...why continue the affair at all, given that?

[MissBee]

I think that's easier said than done.

 

Also why FWB tend not to work for lots of people.

 

I think the only way to take it lightly is if you naturally take it lightly already because you simply aren't emotionally invested in this person. It's not something you can make yourself feel IMO, it's something that exists or doesn't. I have been involved with committed men twice, the second time I wouldn't have called it an affair because I basically got together with him once in a while and hung out and we had sex but otherwise he wasn't my type for a relationship and I genuinely felt no jealousy about his life or when I thought of him with other women. He was out of sight and out of mind once we were apart. I didn't try to do this...I felt that way naturally. I also built no emotionally intimacy with him as I did not talk to him a lot or confide in him or anything of that nature.

 

However, if you are having for all intents and purposes a relationship with someone you genuinely would want to be with, then the whole playing it casual thing is often impossible and you fooling yourself. In my "real A" I loved him. I wanted to be with him. I shared everything with him etc. So there was no way to pull back and be casual. From it started he was already someone whom I liked as more than a friend and wanted a relationship with....so given those feelings, I couldn't be light about it. Well initially I was then it changed.

 

I do not think there is a way to have a casual or light relationship with someone with whom you're emotionally invested. I don't think there is a way to fake emotional investment or turn it off. I think you either are casual because you genuinely aren't that invested or not. It's like normal dating in the sense that there are some people whom you like well enough but not that much so it's easy to be casual with them because you're not emotionally invested, so you can hang out and have fun but once they're gone you don't miss them that much or care what they do. While with others you automatically feel a sense of possessiveness or wanting to be with them all the time and wanting to be a couple. These feelings are spontaneous IMO and if for example you feel the latter way with MM I don't see anyway to trick yourself into behaving differently. I mean you can change your behavior and perhaps see if it will make a difference in your feelings though. For me, I tried it. It didn't work. Trying to treat the A casually did not work one bit. It was all or nothing and eventually I chose nothing because I couldn't have all and having a piece was really not worth it and more pain and frustration than anything else.

[Criedallout]

Hello - how do you know he has many others he chats with, I apologize in advance if you mentioned this in another post. Also in regards to his FB, is he friends on there with his W? The reason I ask this is my ExMM wasn't FB friends with his wife, which I always thought odd but he perfectly explained it away and me with such blinders on believed it hook, line and sinker. He also, I found out later had multiple chat friends. I tried to do the "stay cool, stay unattached" but I think it is sometimes impossible, at least it was for me. The worst part is that even after he told me ILY, on the break up day he blew me off saying "the deal was no attachments". I will never understand how someone can talk to a person daily, see them dozens of times over 2 years and not get attached.

 

Please realize 5 months is still early and if you are feeling like you have to "wall up" or feel you are one of many, imagine 6 more month or another year. You sound like you are trying so hard to protect yourself from getting hurt but most of us get hurt in the end. If I could rewind time, I'd run at the 1st chance I could.

Edited October 9, 2014 by Criedallout

[Sub]

My question: If you're just going to take it lightly, why even have an A? No plans to leave your M's. Seems like a lot to risk for something casual that isn't headed anywhere.

[velvette]

I agree with MissBee's analysis of why you cant keep it casual.

 

Beyond that, I can guarantee that someone who is lying to and cheating on his W doesn't feel he needs your permission to engage with or sleep with other OW.

 

Sounds like he either already has other OW or is grooming backups.

 

In anycase, I think you are fairly naïve if you think he will be honest with you about who else he is sleeping with even if you tell him you're ok with it.

[Lovelysweet2]

You are allowing this man to make you something you are not, light and carefree. Not being light and carefree is ok, you are passionate. You will be disappointed and hurt. Give him your expectations, and see if he will make changes for you. I also knew I needed to avoid emotions, and that told me it was time to check out.

Edited October 9, 2014 by Lovelysweet2

[veryhappy]

If you had trouble going NC, that's not light and casual. Light and casual is "see you later" and not think about it. You signed up on a forum and opened a thread.

 

 

Seems to me that light and casual is his agenda to keep you around and quiet. You know...manage you.

[peaksandvalleys]

You are allowing this man to make you something you are not, light and carefree. Not being light and carefree is ok, you are passionate. You will be disappointed and hurt. Give him your expectations, and see if he will make changes for you. I also knew I needed to avoid emotions, and that told me it was time to check out.

 

I have disagree with this. She might not be light and carefree but he isn't the one making her anything. She is doing all this to herself. She has made choices and with those choices come things we might not like or expect. When I make a business decision try to weigh what I see as all the possible consequences of the deal I am about to enter.

 

Her deal was based on a number of things. Both were married. Neither planned to leave the spouse. Both showed themselves capable of deception. Both were willing to add additional partners to a relationship. OP, were't these things spelled out in the beginning either verbally or truth actions? With these facts in hand you continued to finalize the deal. Why are the terms of the deal so distressing to you now? Are they not the terms you agreed to through acknowledging the facts and participation?

[Lovelysweet2]

After reading your post, I read these words: stress, alot of pain, pains me alot, very painful to me. This is not healthy and will not ever equal love and care if he does not make drastic changes and spin a complete 180. Do you in reality see him making these changes?

[Lovelysweet2]

I have disagree with this. She might not be light and carefree but he isn't the one making her anything. She is doing all this to herself. She has made choices and with those choices come things we might not like or expect. When I make a business decision try to weigh what I see as all the possible consequences of the deal I am about to enter.

 

Her deal was based on a number of things. Both were married. Neither planned to leave the spouse. Both showed themselves capable of deception. Both were willing to add additional partners to a relationship. OP, were't these things spelled out in the beginning either verbally or truth actions? With these facts in hand you continued to finalize the deal. Why are the terms of the deal so distressing to you now? Are they not the terms you agreed to through acknowledging the facts and participation?

 

So she is allowing herself to become something she is not for a man. Same story, same ending.

[peaksandvalleys]

So she is allowing herself to become something she is not for a man. Same story, same ending.

 

I only used your words of her not being who her actions say she is. I personally believe she is acting in a way that is consistent with her inner being. But opinions are worth nothing without evidence to back it up. I don't know the ending but as long as she makes the same choices it does not appear their will be a decent ending for anyone involved.

[Lovelysweet2]

I only used your words of her not being who her actions say she is. I personally believe she is acting in a way that is consistent with her inner being. But opinions are worth nothing without evidence to back it up. I don't know the ending but as long as she makes the same choices it does not appear their will be a decent ending for anyone involved.

 

What stood out to me is her asking a board if her decision sounds like she is very cool and carefree enough. I do not understand how you can simply decide to become something other then who you are or how you feel, as if you were choosing to change detergent brands. I may have her whole discussion confused, but her posts do that to me, nothing against her. It may simply be me.

[Sassy Girl]

So, after having started an affair with an MM(im also an MW) for 5 months, ive noticed, its been a lot of stress and a lot of PAIN due to the fact that we are married, not planning to leave spouses, and everyday he goes home to his wife, has his own life etc etc.. and being away pains me a lot..also, MM is a flirt, he talks to , I am sure, lot of women on HIs FB and on his chats.. this has been very painful for me as I feel insecure.. But hey, I am not the wife..i have no say in that right?

 

I tried cutting him off, going NC but that didnt work well cuz I missed him generally as a person and he couldn't let it go... So I have decided that the only way to just not get stressed and not experience pain or tension over his life, is to just take the relationship lightly.. Not get too emotionally involved.. (I know sometimes its inevitable).. Just dismiss his actions (flirts, etc) and think tha hey, its not my problem- its his family's problem, and just basically go out, enjoy with him, have a good time , have intimacy, and come back.. not let his personal relations or life affect me and my mood..In fact, advise and encourage him to see others and be cool about it..give him freedom, at the same time, ask him to let me know if he's having sex with anyone (for my health purposes only). This is the mindset and route I m trying to go by.. How does this sound to u guys? Does it sound like im very cool and carefree? Cuz that's how I wanna be for my own sanity

 

Do any of u take ur affairs light to heart, not get too emotionally attached, just go, spend time, have fun, talk, still maintain contact, but not get too emotionally involved with his life, or affected by his behavior and actions.. Any of u went down this path? How is it? is it very freeing and no stress?

 

A couple of things....

 

Theres a big difference between being cool and carefree and just acting it.

 

Sounds like youre more into him than he is you. There are the obvious parts of an affair which are uncomfortable...what happens when they go home? Who are they talking to? If they lie so easily to their wife, why would we be any different.

 

Honestly, if these things do bother and concern you then you probably arent cut out for an affair.

 

I enjoy my man, and I know hes totally into me, but we have a mutual understanding...we both have real lives and responsibilities. I got into this knowing full well that married men still like to have sex with their wives. Im realistic about that from the get go. I think that helps.

[hello234]

"I enjoy my man, and I know hes totally into me, but we have a mutual understanding...we both have real lives and responsibilities. I got into this knowing full well that married men still like to have sex with their wives. Im realistic about that from the get go. I think that helps. "

 

 

- So sassygirl, do you not get jealous when ur MM goes back to his life after having his fun time with you? Goes back into bed with his wife, cuddles and kisses her.? Doesn't it bother u? I know too , that MM has all these responsibilities, and I know him and wife wont stop having sex or something but still it kind of bothers me.. esp when he chats with other women..it's like why am I wasting my time for u then?

 

If it doesn't bother u, how do u achieve this carefree attitude of urs? How are u accepting this? With real love comes jealousy.. do you not love him?