The journey continues...

[somedude81]

Can you post a thread related to his question?

 

I don't really have any interest in making a thread about that subject.

 

Though anybody else is welcome to make the thread and I might make a post or two.

 

But that is not what this thread is about.

[reallyhotguy]

I don't really have any interest in making a thread about that subject.

 

Though anybody else is welcome to make the thread and I might make a post or two.

 

But that is not what this thread is about.

 

On the contrary my friend! Earlier in the thread you talk about how many "handicaps" you have with women. I'm really just asking to try and identify value you can bring to the table, because a life passion can be one of your best assets.

[somedude81]

I already see where this discussion is going and it's not one I want in this thread.

 

Thank you.

[reallyhotguy]

I already see where this discussion is going and it's not one I want in this thread.

 

Thank you.

 

Hmm, I'm not quite sure what you mean. This is a straightforward question that directly relates to your goal. You want to engage women that you're interested in. I'm asking what inspires or motivates you, because those things are attractive, and identifying them will help you attract women. Does that make sense?

[hasaquestion]

Hmm, I'm not quite sure what you mean. This is a straightforward question that directly relates to your goal. You want to engage women that you're interested in. I'm asking what inspires or motivates you, because those things are attractive, and identifying them will help you attract women. Does that make sense?

 

Truth!

 

The thing is, you've got to carve out a niche.

 

People will say that "girls don't care as much about that as they do about (insert other trait) as they do about looks!"

 

Yes, but they'll prefer a guy who is smart and bland looking, to a dude who's dumb and bland looking. They'll prefer a guy who's funny and bland looking to a dude who's passive and bland looking. they'll prefer a guy who is ambitious and bland looking to a guy who is lazy and bland looking.

 

People who are into malleable traits are a minority. But if 90% of girls are looks-only, and you can bat .300 on the "personality types", you've got three suitors. If you can't win over the "personality types", few as they may be, you've struck out. So its really your personality making the difference between success and failure, not your looks.

 

Basically, the girls who are mostly into looks, you aren't changing their minds. You've got to target the ones who aren't into looks. But if you don't focus on having strengths like humor, popularity, intelligence, ambition, etc... the 90% of girls who are about looks don't like you AND the 10% who are about personality ALSO don't like you.

 

Its all about knowing your market and catering to that crowd.

[somedude81]

Yes I'm aware of that already.

 

Having goals and a life passion is such a small piece of the pie and I have no desire to turn this thread into a discussion about that topic.

 

As I said, anybody is welcome to make a thread about that topic and I'll post in it.

 

This thread is not the place.

 

Please respect my wishes and do not talk about that subject any more in this thread.

[somedude81]

Ya its hard to have ambition when you have struggled with attracting the oppossite sex and lack companionship

 

That's actually a good point. One that I hadn't really thought of.

 

Right now my only ambition or goals, is to graduate college and move on with my life. Well that and getting a girlfriend.

 

Those two things are my only focus for right now.

 

(This was not an invitation for people to start talking about how I have to focus on my studies, or that I should forget about women)

Edited July 27, 2014 by somedude81

[Kamille]

LOL at this strange logic. What happens if SD doesn't like the 3 girls that like him for his new personality? Then his "self improvement" was a waste of time.

 

How is being a self-defeatist better? That way, he doesn't even get 3 girls to reject.

[hasaquestion]

LOL at this strange logic. What happens if SD doesn't like the 3 girls that like him for his new personality? Then his "self improvement" was a waste of time.

 

3 > 0

 

10 char

[Imajerk17]

Don't sweat it too much SD. You can do both--focus hard on your studies during the day and go out at night.

 

I would also say getting in shape is a big step towards self-improvement. And I think its good enough for now. People make changes focusing on at most maybe 3 things in their lives at once (which is what SD is already doing), not 10.

 

Anyway getting back to your thread, go back again next week. There will be a new crowd of women most likely. And hopefully you learned your lesson from last time--be bolder.

Edited July 27, 2014 by Imajerk17

[somedude81]

Don't sweat it too much SD. You can do both--focus hard on your studies during the day and go out at night.

Yup.

 

Though I'm pretty sure I'll start meeting the majority of new women during school. In addition to math, I'll be taking Salsa and Surfing, both of which leads to a lot of talking to girls. Of course math is my focus.

 

I would also say getting in shape is a big step towards self-improvement. And I think its good enough for now. People make changes focusing on at most maybe 3 things in their lives at once (which is what SD is already doing), not 10.

Ugh, my arms and shoulders are so sore. The fitness thing is something I'm serious about. I am starting to see a change in my body and I need to keep at it.

 

I really want to get rid of my gut, or as close to it as possible before school starts and I'm wondering if I should do more cardio.

 

Anyway getting back to your thread, go back again next week. There will be a new crowd of women most likely. And hopefully you learned your lesson from last time--be bolder.

I'm going to go out on Monday. When I was there last week, I talked to a girl who said that she went on Monday night and the crowd was smaller. That should a bit more manageable for the lesson.

 

I found the perfect container that can hold the equivalent of one shot of alcohol in it. I can drink it in the bathroom towards the end of the night and save myself $7 to $9.

[hasaquestion]

Hard to burn calories. Cardio is great, but if burning fat is your goal, it's best to do that with a diet more than exercise. I would lift weights to build muscle while you're at it. The more muscle you carry, the easier it is to burn fat. That's why men tend to have it easier when it comes to weight loss.

 

Yeah. Good stuff Somedude.

 

As the saying goes: abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. If you want to bust the gut the best thing you can do is eat clean.

 

If I were you SD I wouldn't bother with "cardio" in the long steady jogging sense. On a per minute basis it is very inefficient. Are you familiar with HIIT? Check that out, I bet you'll find it more effective.

[somedude81]

Hard to burn calories. Cardio is great, but if burning fat is your goal, it's best to do that with a diet more than exercise. I would lift weights to build muscle while you're at it. The more muscle you carry, the easier it is to burn fat. That's why men tend to have it easier when it comes to weight loss.

 

Yeah, I know diet is the most important thing. Abs are made in the kitchen and all that. Diet of course is also the hardest thing to change. I'm working on it. The first thing I've done is replaced one meal a day with a fruit and vegy smoothie. I'm also trying to eat more chicken and less of the bad stuff.

 

I am losing weight that's for sure.

 

For whatever reason, my lower body puts on muscle easier than my upper body. Yeah it's nice to have a good ass, I'd prefer to be bigger where most people are looking. Today I pushed myself. And I'll do it again soon.

 

Though one thing I realized, is that I definitely get sore a lot faster now than I did in the past. I'm not a kid anymore, that's for sure.

 

Carido for me mostly just means riding my bike for an hour or so a couple days a week. That's just fun for me. I've also started to go swimming mainly so I can be in condition for it when surfing starts.

[GemmaUK]

Apologies to you SD as i haven't read all of this thread.

 

I did just spot that you said you were after getting rid of your tummy.

 

 

Eating less (eat until full (you can learn to recognise this feeling right under the centre of your ribs).

Also only eat when you are hungry - so if you want a hot dog have one but at your next mealtime figure out if you really are hungry and how hungry.

A way to learn this is to eat with a blindfold - you won't eat your normal volume and you will know when you have had enough.

Honestly, try it! It can also be quite funny..

 

Low impact cardio is best for fat loss...your body knows it doesn't have to store so much for energy it might lose (along with weights so you continue eating up stores of fat).

Walking got me a flatter tummy.

I walk pushing forward from the muscle just above and behind my knee. I use the whole muscle from knee to bum to push forward during a step (it takes a little practice). I also use my core muscles and tighten them which then helps to exercise all the way from hips to my ribs.

I do an hours walking every day and in three weeks after I started my body shape changed - it was al lifted 'up'.

 

I was told a couple of years ago by someone that I have the tummy of a 25 year old..and I was 43 when he said that! And no, he wasn't trying to get in my pants - he and his wife were both there when he said it..they're long time friends of mine.

 

Another thing is posture. I see you are a dancer so you will know posture from that...but..normal daily posture is about sitting and standing with the least energy used - but it can make a real difference to how 'apparent' tummy fat is.

 

Look up the Alexander Techinique.

If you really want to learn then The Posture Workbook is a really good read to teach yourself 'how to'.

 

Making yourself the best you that you can be will attract people.

Having hobbies attracts people.

The reason why is because it means that person has a life and interests.

 

Being my age (now 45) and seeing what is out there in terms of men to date there's only pregnant looking men who belch, fart, swill beer and watch sport (but can't play), swear, have no home of their own and want a woman to do cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing while expecting her to work full time too.

They expect to meet a stunning woman (to be honest in OLD it's all over their profiles! ).

 

Be the guy who takes care of himself!

It's damn well attractive! Not even for the results though...just because he cares about how he looks.

 

*disclaimer* I hate muscle bound types but lean and natural looking muscle is achievable and as someone said it is easier for men to lose weight (due to strong muscles that burn more fat even when resting).

[FitChick]

The first thing I've done is replaced one meal a day with a fruit and vegy smoothie.

 

I definitely get sore a lot faster now than I did in the past. I'm not a kid anymore.

I hope you are adding at least one scoop of Designer Whey or some powder to that shake. I've discovered adding a small handful of cilantro adds an unexpected, wonderful flavor. I forget why it's beneficial though.

 

Age has nothing to do with soreness. Stretch more afterward and drink lots of water.

[somedude81]

I hope you are adding at least one scoop of Designer Whey or some powder to that shake. I've discovered adding a small handful of cilantro adds an unexpected, wonderful flavor. I forget why it's beneficial though.

 

Age has nothing to do with soreness. Stretch more afterward and drink lots of water.

 

I'm going to agree with enigma32 on the soreness. I just feel different after workouts than I did 5 years ago.

 

Yes I'm definitely adding protein powder to the shake.

 

Each shake is pretty much spinach, strawberries, blueberries, a banana and pineapple pieces plus a scoop of protein power. I have one a day.

 

I might start adding more vegetables. Maybe

[MidwestUSA]

I'm going to agree with enigma32 on the soreness. I just feel different after workouts than I did 5 years ago.

 

Yes I'm definitely adding protein powder to the shake.

 

Each shake is pretty much spinach, strawberries, blueberries, a banana and pineapple pieces plus a scoop of protein power. I have one a day.

 

I might start adding more vegetables. Maybe

 

 

Make sure you're getting enough vitamin C, it helps with what is called DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness - it's the soreness that hits you about 24 hours after the offending workout). 1000mg a day should suffice without giving you diarrhea. If you can handle that easily, up it to 1500 or 2000. The rule is to find what makes your stools loose, then back off from that dose. You can't take too much, it's a water soluble vitamin, and we excrete what we don't need.

 

 

If you're only recently adding fruits and veggies, you've not been getting enough C.

[Toddbt12y1]

Make sure you're getting enough vitamin C, it helps with what is called DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness - it's the soreness that hits you about 24 hours after the offending workout). 1000mg a day should suffice without giving you diarrhea. If you can handle that easily, up it to 1500 or 2000. The rule is to find what makes your stools loose, then back off from that dose. You can't take too much, it's a water soluble vitamin, and we excrete what we don't need.

 

 

If you're only recently adding fruits and veggies, you've not been getting enough C.

 

exactly! Well said Nurse cat.

[MidwestUSA]

exactly! Well said Nurse cat.

 

Tis also a good remedy for a sluggish digestive system! Did I mention loose stools?

 

Keep the plumbing clear, your nutrients absorb more efficiently, and you don't feel 'bogged down'.

[Emilia]

I lift on a regular basis and weight train a lot besides. Regular stretching, thoroughly (30 seconds on each muscle group) will prevent soreness. On the rare occasion that I don't stretch properly the soreness appears.

[Toddbt12y1]

Tis also a good remedy for a sluggish digestive system! Did I mention loose stools?

 

Keep the plumbing clear, your nutrients absorb more efficiently, and you don't feel 'bogged down'.

 

So is a good Mt. Dew when you're feeling bogged down. Chug it and bam, some energy back. It's just not as healthy.

[somedude81]

OP, you said you did not get your very first girlfriend until age 31? Was that when you lost your virginity as well?

 

No she wasn't my first.

 

Before her I mainly had sex with swingers, women in their 40's I met online or in swinger clubs.

 

She was the first woman I had sex with where the sex actually meant something. The first time I had actual intimacy and passion. Sex with her was better than everything else I've had combined.

 

That's what I want to experience again.

[somedude81]

how old were you when you lost your virginity?

 

I was 22. The circumstances were far from normal and not something I want to go into in this thread.

 

My ex was the first "real girl" I had sex with.

[aj22one]

I was 22. The circumstances were far from normal and not something I want to go into in this thread.

 

My ex was the first "real girl" I had sex with.

 

haha Life ain't normal man. First girl I had sex with basically jumped me. Embrace all your experiences haha. It makes life a beauty dude.

 

You're so worried bout girls man, haha. Just let life flow through you. haha

[Imajerk17]

I lift on a regular basis and weight train a lot besides. Regular stretching, thoroughly (30 seconds on each muscle group) will prevent soreness. On the rare occasion that I don't stretch properly the soreness appears.

 

I am now a huge fan of the Oly lifts. I am a member of a CrossFit box but most of the time I skip the metcons, and instead I work out by going to open gym and do rep after rep of heavy cleans and snatches (focusing on my form none of this "for time" stuff). Then I will squat and sometimes deadlift (although the soreness I consistently feel 2--4 days after a heavy deadlift session is making me feel that deadlifts just aren't worth it and that I should stick to snatch pulls and clean pulls).

 

Anyway that was way off-topic. Somedude81 the less machines and the more free weights you are doing the better off you are generally speaking. Barbells and dumbells are your friends. Squatting is a must!

Edited July 29, 2014 by Imajerk17