Co-worker never shuts her mouth-now reading out loud everyone's addresses!

[Mapper71]

You sure spend a lot of time policing her and nailing down the timing of her activities. Better make sure it doesn't detract from your own work. Frankly, you're starting to sound a little obsessed. You actually know what websites she's shopping on?

 

I've been in your position, watching that person that gets away with murder. Bringing it to light got ME fired, mainly because I didn't go about it in a calm, methodical way. Are your troubles at home spilling into your work life? Just curious.

 

Kind of hard not to notice what websites she's shopping on when it's right there in front of my face!

 

Oh no...my work life and home life situations are totally different. Chatty pisses me off way differntly than my husband does:laugh:

[MidwestUSA]

Ah yes! I was waiting for someone to point that out! Yup I sure am at work! HOWEVER I am waiting on her to get me stuff to do as I am caught up with everything. If I was in her position I'd sure make sure my coworkers had their needed work before spending my time on personal sites. And yes I police her computer because I can see it from where I sit! I have 2 monitors and there's a gap between them and through that gap I can directly see her computer!

 

If it were me, I'd seize the opportunity to go over her and do whatever I needed to do to secure work for myself AND my coworkers.

 

 

You're allowing her behavior to trickle down to you.

[Mapper71]

Oh what a wonderful 2 weeks it has been! Chatty has been on vacation and is gone for another 1 1/2 weeks. I have been able to concentrate. I have enjoyed staying longer at work to get things done and have not been itching to leave an hour early. I have been able to have conversations with anyone who comes in the room and not have her interrupt. I have felt like so much more of the company because people are talking to me and I get to answer and I don't immediately get so upset simply because I can't get a word in.

 

My job can be stressful with deadlines but not having her here makes it so pleasant! The only thing that stresses me out about my job is her!

[Mapper71]

Dammit she's back! She came back on Friday and I don't think she took a breath for 1 1/2 hours because she was so busy telling us every little detail of her trip. Okay you expect to hear a synopsis of people's vacations but usually 10 minutes will suffice! The only time she shut up was to go have lunch after being here for 1 1/2 hours and doing nothing and even then she was still yammering on to others. Then of course she starts getting personal calls at work and spends 15 minutes outside at the picnic table chatting! I was trying to type an email and it took me nearly 30 minutes to type a small paragraph because she wouldn't shut up and let me concentrate!

[GemmaUK]

If this is bothering you so much why don't you go and speak to HR?

I have done when I have needed to. It was no biggie.

 

For yourself. it sounds like you need to find some relaxation techniques to help this not bother you so much.

 

I've had several days worth of what is termed 'difficult conversations' or 'conflict resolution conversations' the last few days (one yet to come but I'm waiting for a response and waiting beyond the deadline) and it's not pleasant to do but I need to do it as I am the one leading just now and have to be. However, planning those has not overtaken my mind.

[Mapper71]

If this is bothering you so much why don't you go and speak to HR?

I have done when I have needed to. It was no biggie.

 

For yourself. it sounds like you need to find some relaxation techniques to help this not bother you so much.

 

I've had several days worth of what is termed 'difficult conversations' or 'conflict resolution conversations' the last few days (one yet to come but I'm waiting for a response and waiting beyond the deadline) and it's not pleasant to do but I need to do it as I am the one leading just now and have to be. However, planning those has not overtaken my mind.

 

Because nobody there ever rats out anybody else. It's a tight knit group of people and for me to complain about her who has been here for 17 years and me who has just been there a year isn't going to fly. Plus her mom died while she was on her month long vacation so of course everyone is sympathetic towards her. It didn't come as a surprise as she had a stroke over a year ago and had been in hospice ever since.

 

She returned last Friday and I don't think she took a breath for 1 1/2 hours until she went to lunch as she had to tell us EVERY.LITTLE.DETAIL. of her trip! Of course, whenever anyone else comes back from their European trip they bring everyone little goodies. Not Chatty! She just thinks about herself! Yesterday was the lunch truck and since it was raining she whined "Ugh, do I HAVE to walk down there with you guys in this? Can one of you pick up my food order?" Of course someone does. Her habits have not changed. She is still getting personal calls via her work phone (which we all have to sit and listen to) and her cell phone. Yesterday she got 5 personal calls all lasting between 10 and 20 minutes. Now it's not just people calling to chat, it's people calling to say they are sorry about her mom and we have to hear the story again and again about how she got the news while she was on the cruise ship and how she went on with the cruise and they stopped here and went there. Other calls were about what is for dinner, when are they meeting for lunch, when is the party, etc. Then when she isn't on the phone she is on some website. All I need to do is look over the top of my computer to see if she's working. I can't do my work until I get her part so I'm sitting there waiting on her. She got me one thing yesterday in the whole time I was there. Our work hours overlap by 5 hours since she comes in about 3 hours later than me. One thing! If the new girl had been doing it (she took over while Chatty was gone) I would have had 10 things because she gets right to work. I saw her on Facebook, personal Yahoo email, Amazon, looking up song lyrics and gossip sites. Then whenever someone would come over and talk to her she would quickly click off and click on to her work. Nobody can see her computer screen because it doesn't face the main stream of foot traffic. I bet if she was in an area where everyone could see her screen, it would be a different story.

 

And it isn't just the fact that she doesn't do a lot of work, it's also the fact that she cuts me off when I am answering her, she dismisses anything I say as though she isn't interested in hearing it but then repeats it to others like she is the one who knew about it, she talks down to me like I'm stupid (if I don't answer her immediately she feels the need to rephrase it so I understand it or just talk right over me while I'm answering) and when someone asks me a question she immediately answers before I get a chance. Even her being gone for a month not knowing what was going on and she still tried to answer a question about something that transpired at that time....even when the person was asking me!

 

There had better be some work waiting for me when I get in this morning as she was there for 3 hours after I left. There MIGHT be one thing, but I doubt anymore than that!

[GemmaUK]

Whoa!

 

It must take up a lot of your concentration at work to notice all this.

I wouldn't get my job done if I concentrated that much on someone else's actions or lack thereof.

 

I see that you have the same kind of issues with your hubby and his daughter over things time and again though.

I think you need to look at your own reactions to things a bit more.

Our reactions are controllable.

[Mapper71]

Whoa!

 

It must take up a lot of your concentration at work to notice all this.

I wouldn't get my job done if I concentrated that much on someone else's actions or lack thereof.

 

I see that you have the same kind of issues with your hubby and his daughter over things time and again though.

I think you need to look at your own reactions to things a bit more.

Our reactions are controllable.

 

That's the thing. I can't do MY job until she gets me HER part of the job! That's why I am sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for her to get me this stuff which is why I am constantly looking over my computer screen to see if she is actually working. So I go from 1/2 a day of trying to look busy to all of a sudden having to work like a dog to hit the deadline because I have to cram all the work I should have been doing over a few days into a few hours because she finally realizes "Oh crap this stuff needs to get done"!!

[GemmaUK]

What does she say when you ask her for the work and make her aware of your deadline?

 

I chase up my Finance Director several times a week for certain things as he does me also.

We also prioritise and re-prioritise each day and delegate to each other where necessary.

We have to do the above consistently as we work as a team on much of what we do.

 

I couldn't bear twiddling my thumbs.

I'd be looking for another job elsewhere.

[Mapper71]

So the continuing saga of Chatty continues! Yes she annoys the crap out of me because she never shuts up, interrupts all the time, thinks she knows it all and spends more time on websites than doing her work.Well her mom had a stroke in May of last year and had been in hospice ever since. She died last month. Of course with Chatty, the drama is epic. She was on a cruise when she got word that she died. Not a big surprise as she had been going downhill. She didn't come back early or anything and let her two brothers deal with it until she got back. Well of course everyone here had to hear the story about how it happened while she was gone and I have to hear it multiple times because I sit right next to her and hear her tell it not only to co workers but to other family and friends who call her at work. Well now there's the whole memorial service to be planned (which seems to be more intensive than planning a wedding!) dealings with a real estate agent regarding selling her mom's house, what to do with her possessions, getting the will filed, etc.

 

The problem is that she seems to be doing all this while at her desk at work and we all have to listen to it. She didn't come in until 11:30 yesterday because there was a memorial service for her mom at the hospice. Then 20 minutes after she got here she left for an hour long lunch. Then when she got back she had a missed call from her brother and sat on the phone with him for 20 minutes go over real estate stuff. Then a friend showed up and she sat outside with her for 30 minutes. Then her husband called and she was on the phone with him for 10 minutes. And when she's not doing that, she's on the internet looking things up.

 

If you need to do all this stuff, then please just stay home! You don't need to be on the clock taking care of personal business. We don't need to hear the goings on of everything like you are the only person who's ever had to go through this.

 

As much as I can't stand her, I am sorry her mom died, but do you not find it rude and just plain stupid to be taking care of all this while at work just because she has no vacation days left? She gets 5 days of bereavement leave so just take that.

[pink_sugar]

I don't see much you can do here, so I would just try to mind your own business and focus on your own work. You can talk to your boss and maybe suggest she go on leave as she is tackling this personal business at work and that it is distracting you from your own work.

[Mapper71]

But EVERYONE here is so sympathetic, including our manager, telling her to take all the time she needs. She could sit out under the apple tree all day and nobody would say boo!

[writergal]

Mapper, sounds to me like you may need to be the one who takes a leave of absence. If you have any vacation days, I think you should take those. Or look for a new job. Of course everyone at work is sympathetic to this woman. Her mother just died.

 

The fact that you hate her guts is irrelevant to that fact.

[CarrieT]

Part of the grieving process in getting over a family member - especially a parent - is the attempt at the return to normalcy and for many, that means going to a job instead of being at home where those memories might be strongest and more painful.

 

Sure, not a lot of work may be getting done, but this should be the least of the issues in losing a parent.

 

Cut her some slack...

[Mapper71]

Part of the grieving process in getting over a family member - especially a parent - is the attempt at the return to normalcy and for many, that means going to a job instead of being at home where those memories might be strongest and more painful.

 

Sure, not a lot of work may be getting done, but this should be the least of the issues in losing a parent.

 

Cut her some slack...

 

Well when she is so blatantly NOT doing any work, it's pretty hard to cut her slack for getting paid to plan her mom's memorial service which is exactly what she's been doing. Friday all I saw her do was write up her mom's obituary online and then she asked ME to scan some photos of her mom to put in it because she doesn't know how to do it! And when she's not doing that, she's talking to the caterer's of the memorial service, or the hall where they are having it, or leaving to run an errand, or talking to her husband about what's for dinner that night, or talking to her brother about the realtor who is selling her mom's house or talking to the realtor herself. Really? And coming to work is the best thing for her? That would be like me coming to work and spending the day planning my wedding or something!

[carhill]

One example of how expectations of men and women are different. A man would be fired for such inattention to work. In my industry, he'd probably end up maimed or disfigured, simply because such inattention cannot be tolerated and the machinery will eat you.

 

In my case, when my dad died, I took off a half day to bury him, then had lunch and went back to work. That's what men do. If I were the lady's boss, she'd get mandatory family leave, without pay, if she couldn't perform her job tasks. Business is business. We all deal with sickness and death.

[CarrieT]

You totally don't get it.

 

Just coming to work is part of the healing process. The fact that she is not doing her work is not your problem, but an issue for her supervisor. Period.

 

That would be like me coming to work and spending the day planning my wedding or something!

The fact that you equate grieving over a lost parent and planning a wedding speaks volumes to the amount of ignorance you have on this subject.

 

I am aghast at your lack of empathy.

[Citizen Erased]

But EVERYONE here is so sympathetic, including our manager, telling her to take all the time she needs. She could sit out under the apple tree all day and nobody would say boo!

 

Yeah, because her mother died. That's something normal people find to be sad, in case you were wondering.

[Anela]

One example of how expectations of men and women are different. A man would be fired for such inattention to work. In my industry, he'd probably end up maimed or disfigured, simply because such inattention cannot be tolerated and the machinery will eat you.

 

In my case, when my dad died, I took off a half day to bury him, then had lunch and went back to work. That's what men do. If I were the lady's boss, she'd get mandatory family leave, without pay, if she couldn't perform her job tasks. Business is business. We all deal with sickness and death.

 

That's cold. Leave without pay?

[Lernaean_Hydra]

I read this thread and thought, wow, a bit cruel of the OP, how could anyone be s- oh wait it's Mapper, never mind.

 

You really only have one or two choices here, you can either complain to upper management or suck it up. There. Is. No. Third. Option. But be warned, few people in that office will sympathize with you, the woman not currently grieving her dead mother...

[Mapper71]

Yeah, because her mother died. That's something normal people find to be sad, in case you were wondering.

 

Well lets see, my dad died when I was 14 and I didn't get to take days and days off of school. 2 days off and then I was back at it. My teachers made me take tests and do homework just like anyone else. I didn't get a free pass to just sit at my desk staring out the window and say "Oh we'll just give you an A on this test because your dad died!

[Mapper71]

I'm just glad that I don't sit by Mapper.

 

Well, if you did your work you wouldn't be an issue! The ONLY reason she is an issue with me is because she blatantly wastes day after day of doing anything but working...yes even before her mother died!

[writergal]

Well lets see, my dad died when I was 14 and I didn't get to take days and days off of school. 2 days off and then I was back at it. My teachers made me take tests and do homework just like anyone else. I didn't get a free pass to just sit at my desk staring out the window and say "Oh we'll just give you an A on this test because your dad died!

 

Mapper I know why you resent your co-worker, based on what you were forced to go through at 14 when your dad died. Maybe you've been carrying around years of anger at not being allowed to grieve as a teenager - given any time off from school. When you don't allow yourself to grieve a parent's death it can manifest as anger and depression.

 

Did you dislike your coworker before her mother died? Seems like you must have, otherwise this wouldn't get under your craw the way it has? Just wondering. Time to look for a new job, maybe? If you're not happy there, no reason for you to stay.

[Tayla]

People grieve in their own way. I cannot justify this ladies (co workers) way as it interecedes in the business aspect. You are well within reason to expect people to pull their own weight. Some people hide behind the grief as an excuse. Sounds like she is doing that to push the envelope. two months since her mothers passing , and this behavior is still interferring with real work duties?

 

Write your boss a memo as to your legitimate concerns and let it go. Its up to your boss to set an example of how the team members are to have their duties achieved. She is not your problem , she though is a problem if you are doing all her work.

[Mapper71]

Mapper I know why you resent your co-worker, based on what you were forced to go through at 14 when your dad died. Maybe you've been carrying around years of anger at not being allowed to grieve as a teenager - given any time off from school. When you don't allow yourself to grieve a parent's death it can manifest as anger and depression.

 

Did you dislike your coworker before her mother died? Seems like you must have, otherwise this wouldn't get under your craw the way it has? Just wondering. Time to look for a new job, maybe? If you're not happy there, no reason for you to stay.

Oh I pretty much disliked her from day 1! I gave her a few weeks to see if she really was that way and she was/is!

 

No way am I leaving this job! It is the BEST JOB EVER! Everyone (but her) is great, casual atmosphere, great friendships. I mean how many people give their departmental co-workers a hug when they return from a long vacation? If she was gone, it would be perfect!