Would you allow your daughter to attend swim classes with boys in school?

[beach]

Have you always had such outlandish body images for females?

 

Heck, I love my female self and I don't care who looks.

 

IF they act inappropriate - I handle it by speaking up!

 

Why are you so determined to make your daughter the victim.

 

She's bound to be the victim of YOUR outlook!

 

I'm waiting for you to respond regarding YOUR poor outlook on women. I'd love to know why you have reason to believe a teenage gal can't think and do for herself?

 

And have you kept your daughter so sheltered growing up that she isn't capable? What is your reason to think she should be a victim to boys her age? Were you abused as a child?

 

Are you male or female?

[astr591]

people say that students will be too distracted by swimming to do anything else, but I hear that in the final ten minutes of class or even all of some Fridays, the students will be allowed to have free swim. This is where problems can happen

[angel.eyes]

What problems? They will be swimming and having fun!

 

Why aren't you answering any of the questions posters have asked? You're just perseverating on the same thought. It's difficult to help you.

[d0nnivain]

people say that students will be too distracted by swimming to do anything else, but I hear that in the final ten minutes of class or even all of some Fridays, the students will be allowed to have free swim. This is where problems can happen

 

The kids will always have on swim suits. Teenagers are all too self conscious to do much publicly

 

All that is going to happen is that your daughter will develop the skills to interact in a heathy manner with members of the opposite sex. Try to find a way to be OK with it.

[LBlanc]

I swam in high school, and most of my kids are swimmers. As protective as I can be, I've never given this a bit of thought, either.

 

Most of us were trying our damnedest to avoid looking like idiots in the pool and wishing we weren't a bunch of beanpoles to have time to ogle girls.

 

That came in class, when they were wearing a tight sweater or lacy top.

 

yup--can confirm...imagine being required to wear speedos! SPEEDOS for pete's sake! those tiny little things which highlight your junk!...trust me on this OP...every boy on the pool wearing those will be spending most of their time (1) making sure their stuff is "presentable" rather fooling around/ogling girls OR (2) making sure they don't get accused of being a creep by staring too much...

[turnera]

people say that students will be too distracted by swimming to do anything else, but I hear that in the final ten minutes of class or even all of some Fridays, the students will be allowed to have free swim. This is where problems can happen

Oh no! You mean...you mean they might actually LOOK at each other, talk to each other, smile at each other? The horror!

 

You make it sound like they're going to pull their suits off and start having an orgy or something. Good grief.

[SoleMate]

OP, the best place to take your concerns is to the school. You can probably get your daughter excused from swim class by claiming some sort of wacky "personal beliefs" reason. However, I think this would be a mistake.

 

I am no stranger to misbehavior among teenagers; I've seen a lot of it and even performed some. However, exactly none of it was in swim class. School swimming classes are some of the most heavily supervised activities around, what with the lifeguards, coaches, teachers everywhere. The adults typically watch like hawks and manage to tightly control running on the pool deck, splashing, bathing caps, chewing gum, use of lockers, long hair, bandaids, showers, diving, snapping of towels, and about 40 other forms of highly specific behavior, so the chance of some mysterious harm through "leering" seems implausible.

[RTX]

FWIW - I may be with the OP. If this is mandatory participation, I am against it. Yes, I have a good reason. At the local pool or the beach, the people attending are there voluntarily. They are comfortable with their bodies and themselves. But mandatory participation will include young people of both sexes who may not have the same level of self-confidence and therefore don't even go to public swimming areas.

 

Unlike the OP, who sees it from her daughter's POV, my concern is not with boy harassing girls

 

Not everyone reaches the same level of self-assurance at the same time, and that age is a tricky time. Some children have only just begun transitioning into their adult bodies while others are as matured as they're going to be. Any activity that demands scant attire should be voluntary. For both sexes. Young men and women are measuring themselves against those of their classmates and their psyches are fragile.

[turnera]

Oh good grief. People have been dealing with other people for tens of thousands of years. We didn't even have underclothes 500 years ago. This new 'oh I must be protected' society is going to be our downfall.

[RTX]

Oh good grief. People have been dealing with other people for tens of thousands of years. We didn't even have underclothes 500 years ago. This new 'oh I must be protected' society is going to be our downfall.

 

well yes a school doesn't seem to give any thought to the feelings of the students.

 

But a swimming-pool situation could be horrifying for the kid who is already the target of high-school cruelty.

 

 

I think the OP is right to be concerned and most definitely this should not be brushed off .

[littleplanet]

um,

we never did find out which side of the parental equation OP was on, did we?

[2sunny]

um,

we never did find out which side of the parental equation OP was on, did we?

 

Nope. And the OP never answered any questions regarding the poor outlook on body issues.

 

I hope the child doesn't realize this parent is trying to make it an issue.

 

Sheez, some of the clothes and outfits show more these days than a swimsuit would show.

[mrfyzv]

yes this is not acceptable to be done by their individual

[ASG]

FWIW - I may be with the OP. If this is mandatory participation, I am against it. Yes, I have a good reason. At the local pool or the beach, the people attending are there voluntarily. They are comfortable with their bodies and themselves. But mandatory participation will include young people of both sexes who may not have the same level of self-confidence and therefore don't even go to public swimming areas.

 

Unlike the OP, who sees it from her daughter's POV, my concern is not with boy harassing girls

 

Not everyone reaches the same level of self-assurance at the same time, and that age is a tricky time. Some children have only just begun transitioning into their adult bodies while others are as matured as they're going to be. Any activity that demands scant attire should be voluntary. For both sexes. Young men and women are measuring themselves against those of their classmates and their psyches are fragile.

 

WTF?!?! So people should be able to opt out of mandatory class for no real reason?!

I mean... I could be really bad at math, and being in a class with people with really good math skills could make me feel even less confident in my ability to do math. Should I be excused from it?!?!

 

Seriously, sometimes when I come to LS I think I've entered the Twilight Zone!

 

Not to mention that swimming classes, especially for women, do not require scant attire! Those swimming suits cover everything and then some!!

[RTX]

WTF?!?! So people should be able to opt out of mandatory class for no real reason?!

I mean... I could be really bad at math, and being in a class with people with really good math skills could make me feel even less confident in my ability to do math. Should I be excused from it?!?!

 

Seriously, sometimes when I come to LS I think I've entered the Twilight Zone!

 

Not to mention that swimming classes, especially for women, do not require scant attire! Those swimming suits cover everything and then some!!

 

just because the school makes it mandatory doesn't mean it is right. I can see lots of students feeling uncomfortable or humiliated at the prospect of doing this. Especially girls. High school has a lot of pressures and this could just add to it

[Taramere]

just because the school makes it mandatory doesn't mean it is right. I can see lots of students feeling uncomfortable or humiliated at the prospect of doing this. Especially girls. High school has a lot of pressures and this could just add to it

 

I was a shy teen and not particularly body confident....but I went swimming in mixed sessions without any problems. If an adult had encouraged me to avoid mixed swimming sessions and, in doing so, given me the message that they were committed to helping me avoid any discomfort or humiliation, I honestly think that would have been hugely disturbing to me. It would have planted ideas in my head.

 

If there's any indication of a teen being humiliated in a situation like that, then obviously that needs to be addressed in the way that bullying and antisocial behaviour should always be addressed. Children and teens need to be supported through those situations. However, I think it's vital to avoid planting ideas about being bullied, shamed or ridiculed into kids' heads. It might encourage nothing more than a fear of life and of ordinary, perfectly appropriate social situations.

[turnera]

You wanna know how to help kids get over their fear of being targeted or bullied or feeling insecure in their bodies?

 

 

Help them FACE that fear by DOING what it is they are afraid of.

 

 

This new society that feels we must protect kids' feelings and ensure that they never ever face bad feelings is just...unwise, unproductive, and actually harmful.

[RTX]

You wanna know how to help kids get over their fear of being targeted or bullied or feeling insecure in their bodies?

 

 

Help them FACE that fear by DOING what it is they are afraid of.

 

 

This new society that feels we must protect kids' feelings and ensure that they never ever face bad feelings is just...unwise, unproductive, and actually harmful.

 

I disagree....becoming comfortable with ones body will never happen if they're forced into swim-wear and made to face and deal with the derogatory and hurtful remarks that some children will undoubtedly throw their way....Natural mental and emotional development does NOT have to include such.....and does not have to hurt.

[ASG]

I disagree....becoming comfortable with ones body will never happen if they're forced into swim-wear and made to face and deal with the derogatory and hurtful remarks that some children will undoubtedly throw their way....Natural mental and emotional development does NOT have to include such.....and does not have to hurt.

 

It will also not happen if you skip swim class!

Seriously... I can't even...

 

 

I was in swim class from age 6 until age 16. Mandatory. Personally, I hated it, but not because of people looking at my body. I just hated swimming. Love being in the water, hate swimming! And the amount of chlorine in the water made our eyes blurry for hours. So I had my period often (it was the best excuse ever!)

 

But in 10 years, I attended MANY swim classes, as you can imagine! And never was my body made fun of. Or any of my classmate's.

There was this one classmate I had who was fat. His nickname was "Fat". It was what everyone called him. No one made fun of him in swim class. In fact, we didn't make fun of him at all. The nickname stuck, but that was about it.

 

They way you think is very dangerous. It's the kind of thinking that has made it almost illegal to TOUCH a child, because obviously, every adult is a child molester. This is the same kind of thinking. Please stop it.

[MissBee]

I don't think this is as nefarious as you're making it seem. I read your post and honestly felt I was reading something from the 1920s.

 

I really don't think it's a case of it being some awkward, sexual tension, humiliation and people having to reveal themselves. I think you're imagining the worse when chances are besides maybe an odd incident, the boys hang with the boys, the girls with the girls and everyone is doing their swimming and it's not a huge deal. I think you're projecting your own fears here.

 

I went to an all girls school for part of high school and then for the second half a coed school and I imagined it would be sooo drastically different...it wasn't. At my college swimming was mandatory and it was girls and guys mixed and nothing of the sort happened. People were concerned with themselves and learning how to swim. Likewise, my little cousin who is in 8th grade goes to a swimming class with girls and guys and I've stopped by a few times and it's nothing like you're imagining. Maybe a boy or two or girl or two in their minds are thinking untoward things but in terms of what they say and do, people are focused on swimming and aren't treating each other as sex objects or pointing, leering, jeering and laughing. The teachers are in charge and often works hands on with them and it's very organized and not a pool of chaos...not to mention some kids are scared of swimming or drowning so are hyperfocused on that and not other people.

 

Have you asked your daughter what it's actually like? If she is fine with it I'd not put such thoughts in her head frankly.

Edited July 4, 2014 by MissBee

[MissBee]

If kids aren't comfortable being seen in a bathing suit they should stop being little piggies and get more exercise.

 

Is this a joke?

 

Calling kids "little piggies" is bad enough but forget that, kids have all kinds of insecurities in puberty that sometimes are irrational, but part and parcel of things and it is not all hinged on weight.

 

I remember hating PE and running in the 6th grade because by then I already had D cup boobs and was more womanly looking than most of the other girls and even had bigger boobs than my teachers! That made me so self-conscious and it wasn't at all because I was a "little piggy"...sorry but that comment was really ignorant.

[Eggplant]

I think, if it's not too costly, taking the time to have separate classes is better.

 

 

Having interacted a lot with immigrants from highly conservative cultures, from parts of Latin America or Pakistan, for example, it might create a lot of stress for families who place a premium on modesty. In some of these cultures, you pretty much can't make too much eye contact with men without risking your reputation. I wonder what these people do.

 

 

That said, I had co-ed swimming in high school, and it was perfectly fine. It never occurred to me to be embarrassed or worry. The only weird thing was that the girls wouldn't change in the open locker room, so the whole class was always late because they/we waited in line to change two-by-two in stalls.

 

 

 

 

As far as the people here who are saying the boys aren't paying attention to the girls bodies, what planet are you from? Even I can only imagine what some bunches of 15 year old boys might say ... But the bigger picture is who cares? You can't assign importance to that kind of thing. Suppose they say lots of crass stuff ... why are they important or powerful enough so as to make you actually want to go out of your way.

[PogoStick]

Simple, have her wear one of these. She'll fit right in. I'm sure she'll thank you for it.

 

And so much for my Track and Field practices where the girls ran in tiny shorts and sports bras...voluntarily.

Edited July 5, 2014 by PogoStick

[turnera]

I disagree....becoming comfortable with ones body will never happen if they're forced into swim-wear and made to face and deal with the derogatory and hurtful remarks that some children will undoubtedly throw their way....Natural mental and emotional development does NOT have to include such.....and does not have to hurt.

So you should hide in your house and do 5 hours of workouts a day until you feel comfortable to be seen in swimwear? Or just never go out in public because you'll never be comfortable being seen in swimwear? As I said, isn't it smarter for the CHILD to have the child learn that everyone is going to be different and NONE of the kids have an edge over the others, so that that child can grow up to learn that it does no good to compare one's self to others and just learn to be ok as is? This new mentality of you owe it to me to make me feel good about myself...is not only ridiculous but HARMFUL.

 

 

In all my years, I have NEVER heard someone make fun of someone else in a swimsuit, btw.

[RTX]

So you should hide in your house and do 5 hours of workouts a day until you feel comfortable to be seen in swimwear? Or just never go out in public because you'll never be comfortable being seen in swimwear? As I said, isn't it smarter for the CHILD to have the child learn that everyone is going to be different and NONE of the kids have an edge over the others, so that that child can grow up to learn that it does no good to compare one's self to others and just learn to be ok as is? This new mentality of you owe it to me to make me feel good about myself...is not only ridiculous but HARMFUL.

 

 

In all my years, I have NEVER heard someone make fun of someone else in a swimsuit, btw.

 

 

I don't think this will help. This isn't the class to help people get comfortable about their bodies, it is a class for physical education. I think separating them could probably allow both genders to focus better.