Is being of Indian descent really that detrimental even if you are Americanized?

[normal person]

I told him about how I have had girls literally walk away after I said "hi" and he told me to not worry about it and think about it this way: "Would you want to go out with a girl who walks away from people? I mean that's just rude."

 

Now the first tip I did consider trying once (the whole approach a girl the way you want to be approached) but didn't really think it was viable because guys are less picky than girls in the dating scene and I personally wouldn't mind a lot of approaches that I feel girls would mind. But I'll actually give it a try since it seemed to work for him and what I will do is instead of thinking about how I would want a cute girl to approach me, I will think about how I would want a girl who I am not physically attracted to at all to approach me. That way I am preparing for the worst (basically if a girl finds me totally unattractive, how do I not creep her out too much). But at the same time, I don't want to play it too safe because some girls are going to be creeped out regardless. Anyway, I will give some thought to this and try it out and let you guys know how it's going.

 

It's good advice. If all you do is approach a girl and say "hi," you're putting the onus of conversation on them. Now they have to think of something and say it to you otherwise it's uncomfortable. If they wanted to say something to you, they would have come and said it. But now you're approaching them and expecting them to have something to say to you, and it's a bit unnerving for them. If someone came up to you on the street and just said "hi" without purpose and then just stood there, wouldn't you be a little bit taken aback too?

[topaMAXX]

Okay, I have a few things to address here:

 

On race: yes, this matters. I'm sorry to say, OP, but you are chasing white American girls. White American girls, in general, are the most elitist. You'd have better luck with this in, say, Germany. But you are too young to go abroad and, frankly, you need to get some experience with women in the US.

 

On height: yes, this matters....and it matters much more than race. Most will not understand this unless they are a short guy themselves (which I am), but this is the most important thing to women. In most cases, if you are shorter than the woman, you have zero chance with her. Doesn't matter how awesome your personality is or how good looking you are. You will rarely find women that will date guys shorter than them (I have), but this is not something you can rely on.

 

As far as genetics go, my dad is 5'8 and my mom is 5'4. I'm 5'6 and my brother is 6'0. So you never know.

 

On social skills and game: This is important. There are some women that you will meet in life that are just into you. There are some that will just never be. Then there are a bunch that are on the fence. If you learn these things, you will get many of the girls that are on the fence. If your game is REALLY good, you will likely be able to overcome your race and height issues (with certain women).

 

On cold approaching: This will take A LOT of time to get good at. You have made 8 approaches. Good for you. I suggest you Google "how to cold approach" and take notes. Try some things. Experiment. If you take it too seriously (which you are currently doing), you will end up very depressed (lol).

 

So, in conclusion, I do believe that you can overcome your race and, to a lesser extent, your height, to a degree. Realistically, you will never get the quantity or quality of women as a Channing Tatum, but you should definitely be able to get a reasonably attractive girlfriend.

[R3d]

If someone came up to you on the street and just said "hi" without purpose and then just stood there, wouldn't you be a little bit taken aback too?

Well actually, I would smile and say, "Hey how are you doing?" but that's because I am an approachable guy. But yes, I would still be a little taken aback.

 

Thing is prior to this thread, every time I asked for advice on approaching, people alway said to just say "hi" and maybe "how are you doing?"

 

But now after reading and hearing this advice, I seem to have a better idea of what to do so now it's just a matter of trial and error and getting comfortable.

 

The biggest problem is I feel like a lot of girls at this age are not very approachable which makes things a bit difficult. Some are, but a lot for some reason aren't, as we can see. So again, it's just a matter of finding the ones that are.

[normal person]

 

Thing is prior to this thread, every time I asked for advice on approaching, people alway said to just say "hi" and maybe "how are you doing?"

 

 

One thing you always need to consider is that plenty of people here have no idea what they're talking about (take no offense, readers). If they can't substantiate it or tell you why a certain thing will work or not, I'd be hesitant to put a lot of faith in it.

 

So you said you had trouble talking to girls and people basically told you "well go up and say 'hi'" as if this wasn't the first thing any person would do. As if there weren't any layers of complexity to it. This is like you saying you have no idea how to drive and someone tells you to "just press the gas pedal."

 

People have their opinions or suggestions but keep in mind a lot of them come to this forum because they struggle with some aspect of interpersonal relationships to begin with. Take what you read on here with a grain of salt. Not everyone is Don Juan on the other side of the computer screen.

[R3d]

Actually now that I think about it. You guys are right. Going up to random girls doesn't work. I just watched a video where a guy talked about this and he said the same thing. That even if you do end up picking her up, so to speak, a lot of the times the connection won't be that great anyway. He said how it's very unnatural to just go up to randoms like that and what you should do is get a bigger social circle, join clubs or whatever, and be in places more where there is an opportunity to meet girls.

 

I have more to say about this, but don't have the time right now, so I will come back later and complete this post in my next one. I just wanted to let you know that after thinking about it and listening to a guy's explanation on this, that I am abandoning the idea of trying to pick up randoms, but instead, intend to enlarge my social circle and be present in more social places in order to increase my chances of running into a girl I actually like and then I would also have a better chance with her, since I wouldn't just be some random dude.

[Eddie Edirol]

Theres nothing wrong with talking to random women, you just have to make the situation seem natural. You cant say "Hi how are you" to a stranger, why would you care how a complete stranger is doing, unless youre picking them up from the ground because they fell? You have to talk about whats going on around you. For instance, it was raining alot in my area. We finally had a day of sun, so as this woman and I are walking out of a department store at the same time, its raining and she says "You gotta be kidding me!" Had I been looking to talk to her, I could have started a conversation about the sudden rain easy. Talking to random people is just about being witty enough to start an interesting conversation, its not difficult to learn. If you cant do that, or at least learn how to do it, you will have a tough time keeping young womens attention even if they are in your social circle. So you might as well keep chatting up randoms, to learn how to keep a conversation going.

[gaius]

Not saying this is the case with all Indians, but since you mentioned you eat a lot of Indian food it's possible you've got that curry cloud following you around. Which can quite literally gag a lot of western women. Good luck getting a date if she wants to gag just standing in close proximity to you.

[R3d]

Not saying this is the case with all Indians, but since you mentioned you eat a lot of Indian food it's possible you've got that curry cloud following you around. Which can quite literally gag a lot of western women. Good luck getting a date if she wants to gag just standing in close proximity to you.

 

I hardly eat curry, like once in two or three weeks. Also, I don't eat a LOT of Indian food.

 

And like I said, my hygiene is excellent.

[CrystalCastles]

R3d, I think you're being silly.

 

I'm a Russian woman, almost 6 feet. By your logic, I should only want guys who are 6' 3 and white. Those are actually the guys I don't want. I don't care if a guy is shorter than me. I never actually knew height was a thing until I came on this site! I have only ever rejected guys because they were trying to use me to cheat on their gfs, trying to play me, or because they were grossly overweight/poor hygiene/bad chemistry.

 

I look for smart before superficial crap like height, looks, whatever. Most of the guys I had huge crushes on were shorter than me, were of average looks, but they were funny, smart, and very accomplished.

 

You sound like a great guy. You're accomplished, well-articulate, and you have a mature view of the world for one of only 16 years. Don't worry about dating and sex. I don't understand what the hurry is with people these days. You still have a long time. You want a girlfriend, not a hookup, so you're going to need to be patient. Many girls right now have a very childish take on the world, so the only thing they care about is that 6' 3 white guy you described. In a few years, however, they'll grow some brains and realize that a good guy doesn't need to be a 6' 3 white guy.

 

And on a final note, it is unfortunate that you are not proud of your heritage. There is nothing unattractive about being Indian. There is something unattractive about being ashamed of it.

Edited May 10, 2014 by CrystalCastles

[R3d]

R3d, I think you're being silly.

 

I'm a Russian woman, almost 6 feet. By your logic, I should only want guys who are 6' 3 and white. Those are actually the guys I don't want. I don't care if a guy is shorter than me. I never actually knew height was a thing until I came on this site! I have only ever rejected guys because they were trying to use me to cheat on their gfs, trying to play me, or because they were grossly overweight/poor hygiene/bad chemistry.

 

I look for smart before superficial crap like height, looks, whatever. Most of the guys I had huge crushes on were shorter than me, were of average looks, but they were funny, smart, and very accomplished.

 

You sound like a great guy. You're accomplished, well-articulate, and you have a mature view of the world for one of only 16 years. Don't worry about dating and sex. I don't understand what the hurry is with people these days. You still have a long time. You want a girlfriend, not a hookup, so you're going to need to be patient. Many girls right now have a very childish take on the world, so the only thing they care about is that 6' 3 white guy you described. In a few years, however, they'll grow some brains and realize that a good guy doesn't need to be a 6' 3 white guy.

 

And on a final note, it is unfortunate that you are not proud of your heritage. There is nothing unattractive about being Indian. There is something unattractive about being ashamed of it.

 

Alright, thank you.

 

The reason people like me are in a hurry is they are either too horny and want to have sex (I am too...I just masturbate lol), or are lonely like me and want someone to be close to, hold, and love both physically and emotionally. As you know, while I would love sex, I am more in it for the companionship.

 

I have almost no close friends. I am very lonely, isolated, and alienated at school. I am working on that and taking steps to become more socially connected at school, but still, it's a factor that makes me even more thirsty for a girlfriend. Plus, I have been dreaming in general for a sweet, kind, and down-to-earth girlfriend for years now anyway, if not everyday, it has been one of my core dreams. The reason I have been feeling this way much more strongly for the past few months (since January of 2014) is because that's when I had my next crush (and she turned me down unfortunately). Before that, I never bothered to crush on any girls since seventh grade. So even though, this has always been my dream, it wasn't something I was really focused on until recently. Now, I am actually trying to get what I want and make my dream come true. Ever since, I have approached a few girls, but I haven't gotten any interest yet.

Edited May 10, 2014 by R3d

[organizedchaos]

Alright, thank you.

 

The reason people like me are in a hurry is they are either too horny and want to have sex (I am too...I just masturbate lol), or are lonely like me and want someone to be close to, hold, and love both physically and emotionally. As you know, while I would love sex, I am more in it for the companionship.

 

I have almost no close friends. I am very lonely, isolated, and alienated at school. I am working on that and taking steps to become more socially connected at school, but still, it's a factor that makes me even more thirsty for a girlfriend. Plus, I have been dreaming in general for a sweet, kind, and down-to-earth girlfriend for years now anyway, if not everyday, it has been one of my core dreams. The reason I have been feeling this way much more strongly for the past few months (since January of 2014) is because that's when I had my next crush (and she turned me down unfortunately). Before that, I never bothered to crush on any girls since seventh grade. So even though, this has always been my dream, it wasn't something I was really focused on until recently. Now, I am actually trying to get what I want and make my dream come true. Ever since, I have approached a few girls, but I haven't gotten any interest yet.

 

Your time would be better spent getting friends and a social life and your confidence up so you have something to offer a girl once you do land one. No girl is gonna want to be with a loner, unless she is too.

[R3d]

Your time would be better spent getting friends and a social life and your confidence up so you have something to offer a girl once you do land one. No girl is gonna want to be with a loner, unless she is too.

Yeah, all this is a work in progress and I am taking steps (I have talked to the school social worker) to get myself more socially connected in the school which in turn will help with my loneliness and isolation, make friends, and also allow me to have sort of a better chance in meeting girls (that are possibly interested in me, if any).

[littleplanet]

I live in the Indian capital of North America, it seems....so your ethinicity is not a small and islolated one. (depending on where you live)

Also - there is tons of cross-cultural social activity going on all the time. This is a byproduct of a society that refuses to just do melting pot.

When persons of a certain ethnic background melt into the 'dominant' culture - that's great as far as adding a fresh new perspective to a tired old dance.

But it really sucks if they are not accepted into that culture.....based on looks or ethnicity.

In fact, it only proves how shallow and superficial that dominant culture really is.

 

As to being 16 and romantic. Nothing wrong with that.

I was......and it was one of the best times of my life.

 

Still....at risk of banging the same old tired drum here. There is no quick solution, no magic bullet. Just go on being yourself. There is nothing wrong with you at all.

All it ever takes is one girl who interests you - to show interest back. The rest comes natural.

Of course you're young. You've got all the time in the world.

A bit of humor and good smarts don't do any harm in attracting others. Be genuine. Be real. Be honest. Project the fact that you're capable of showing good human values.

 

A little confidence with all of that - and you'd be surprised at the results.

Good luck!

Edited May 11, 2014 by littleplanet
typos

[R3d]

I just came across this video which is another source for overcoming insecurities based on ethnicity or foreignity.

 

 

This doesn't entirely apply to me because I don't actually have any problems speaking English as a guy who grew up in America for 15/16 of my life, but he does address my issue of being from a country that some consider as "not cool".

 

I just wanted to post this for future readers who are reading this thread who may be in my shoes. It's good advice.

[singhnatasha903]

Dude what's going on with you?!!! I'm of indian origin and ive always used it to my advantage! I'd always use interesting Hindi words to punctuate my sentences, I'd turn brown not red at the beach (lucky lucky!) and I'd suggest exotic romantic indian restaurants to my dates in high school. I'd do my eyes in kohl and wear a forehead bindi. I was also a cheerleader, part of the drama troop and a got straight a's. Point is- play up your exotic ness. It's the age of being unique, why are you trying to blend in and be a wallflower?- MOST important thing though- GET FIT ... Trust me, if you are fit and you play sports that's already in your favor.... Women love jocks!! If you're shy, play that up. If you're a fit jock whose shy- that's the most adorable thing ever!!! Don't play the creepy kamasutra india card though. Ever. as for your height- yes I'm sure it does matter, but working out and playing sports will help with that too. Dress simply, don't layer it up. And don't wear super baggy clothes. A decently fitted white t shirt with straight fit jeans and a pair of vans sneakers ensemble will bring out your indian skin tone and look light and fresh. At the end of the day- you're only unattractive when you're trying to hide who you are. And also- never ever wear thick soled boots, they look soooo lame.

[jcrew11]

While its not as spoken about as much as race, many white Americans, especially in rural areas care a lot about religion. If you are not a Christian person and have anti-Christian feelings, then there is very little chance you will be able to date a white Christian girl or get the approval of her family. You might have more success with white Catholic girls, who are usually from immigrant families from Mexico, Italy, or Ireland. I'm not sure if Jewish girls like Indians but its worth a try.

 

If you want to date a white person, you have to accept and be open-minded of everything in white culture - religion, food, holidays, and customs.

 

You don't have to turn your back and reject Indian customs, but if you want to date a white girl, you have to embrace white culture as well. Or you can try to force her to convert to Hinduism or Muslim, but that might not be possible.

[Haydn]

Move to London, you will have no problem. What is white culture? Culture is a mix of everything.

[R3d]

While its not as spoken about as much as race, many white Americans, especially in rural areas care a lot about religion. If you are not a Christian person and have anti-Christian feelings, then there is very little chance you will be able to date a white Christian girl or get the approval of her family. You might have more success with white Catholic girls, who are usually from immigrant families from Mexico, Italy, or Ireland. I'm not sure if Jewish girls like Indians but its worth a try.

 

If you want to date a white person, you have to accept and be open-minded of everything in white culture - religion, food, holidays, and customs.

 

You don't have to turn your back and reject Indian customs, but if you want to date a white girl, you have to embrace white culture as well. Or you can try to force her to convert to Hinduism or Muslim, but that might not be possible.

 

And I'd be willing to do that. In fact, as someone already pointed out, I believe in the American culture. Yeah I may not eat beef, but I wouldn't have any problem with my partner doing so, even cooking it in my presence, or even kissing me after having recently eaten beef. I wouldn't have any problems with any of that; I just wouldn't eat beef myself. That's the only thing.

 

As for religion, I am just a very casual follower of Hinduism. I just don't eat beef, but other than that I have like no participation in Hinduism. Polls indicate that my beliefs are actually more suited to Atheism, though I'd say I am more "agnostic", meaning I don't really have much of an opinion on this whole topic. I don't really believe there's one right religion, and I really don't like the idea that we have different religions because it creates artificial and unnecessary barriers between people (like in this example). The only reason I am Hindu is because that was what was passed down to me, but then again, like I said, I am just a very loose follower. I was going to ask. Do you think being a follower of Hinduism, even though I am very casual about it, will be noticeably detrimental?

 

And for a more updated description of where I am at right now, I would like to redirect you people to this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/482251-how-i-found-loveshack-why-i-am-here-today

 

More importantly, this post in that thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/482251-how-i-found-loveshack-why-i-am-here-today#post5764403

[jcrew11]

Polls indicate that my beliefs are actually more suited to Atheism, though I'd say I am more "agnostic", meaning I don't really have much of an opinion on this whole topic.

 

I don't really believe there's one right religion, and I really don't like the idea that we have different religions because it creates artificial and unnecessary barriers between people (like in this example).

There is a trend of white-Americans becoming more atheist and agnostic (anti-Christian), so that might work in your favor. College girls are particularly open-minded about different religion. But people usually end up marrying someone of the same religious beliefs or ideas.

 

But there are also a large number of white people and their parents who devoutly follow Christianity or Catholicism, so its up to you if you want to share a white family's Christian customs and holidays.

 

If you don't like the idea of "religion" then you must also be willing to not follow your own religious practices. Its easy for a person to say "all religions are stupid" but refuse to give up their own religion. At the same time, its disrespectful to tell devout followers that their religious values are wrong. A person can be anti-christian or anti-religion; and not want to have Christian friends. If you want to be a truly open-minded person, you need to accept people of all faiths - Christianity, Muslim, Jewish, etc.

 

But if you are Atheist/Agnostic - then you will only want to be around other anti-christian and anti-religious, atheist and agnostic people. It might narrow down your social circle to just hippies, punks, emo, goth, pierced tattoo girls.

 

Its up to you to decide what type of social circle you want to have. Most people end up marrying and dating people from their church communities. There are a lot of alternative white religions like unitarianism that offer a lot of social support for non-christians. Find what type of social scene makes you happy and you'll eventually find a girl with similar interests.

[kart180]

Yes, I feel outcasted despite being of sri lankan descent but born and grew up in London, England. I now live in america but still just so outcasted. Cant date and just feel like living anymore

[normal person]

There is a trend of white-Americans becoming more atheist and agnostic (anti-Christian), so that might work in your favor. College girls are particularly open-minded about different religion. But people usually end up marrying someone of the same religious beliefs or ideas.

 

But there are also a large number of white people and their parents who devoutly follow Christianity or Catholicism, so its up to you if you want to share a white family's Christian customs and holidays.

 

If you don't like the idea of "religion" then you must also be willing to not follow your own religious practices. Its easy for a person to say "all religions are stupid" but refuse to give up their own religion. At the same time, its disrespectful to tell devout followers that their religious values are wrong. A person can be anti-christian or anti-religion; and not want to have Christian friends. If you want to be a truly open-minded person, you need to accept people of all faiths - Christianity, Muslim, Jewish, etc.

 

But if you are Atheist/Agnostic - then you will only want to be around other anti-christian and anti-religious, atheist and agnostic people. It might narrow down your social circle to just hippies, punks, emo, goth, pierced tattoo girls.

 

Its up to you to decide what type of social circle you want to have. Most people end up marrying and dating people from their church communities. There are a lot of alternative white religions like unitarianism that offer a lot of social support for non-christians. Find what type of social scene makes you happy and you'll eventually find a girl with similar interests.

 

Your advice seems entirely localized to wherever you are. Where do you live and how old are you? I'm 27 in the northeast -- the largest agglomeration of people on the continent -- and I couldn't name 5 people I've met in the last decade that practice any sort of religion, much less attend any service. Marrying within church communities??? Maybe in Amish country, but OP lives in Calgary if I'm not mistaken. And I don't think Canadians are nearly as fanatical about Christianity as they are in some parts of the US.

 

Take everything you read on this forum with a grain of salt, OP.

[jcrew11]

Your advice seems entirely localized to wherever you are. Where do you live and how old are you? I'm 27 in the northeast -- the largest agglomeration of people on the continent -- and I couldn't name 5 people I've met in the last decade that practice any sort of religion, much less attend any service. Marrying within church communities??? Maybe in Amish country, but OP lives in Calgary if I'm not mistaken. And I don't think Canadians are nearly as fanatical about Christianity as they are in some parts of the US.

 

Take everything you read on this forum with a grain of salt, OP.

Religion and spiritual beliefs are often not publicly spoken but more personally important. Just because someone doesn't attend church or is not a practicing Christian doesn't meant that same girl will be willing to convert to Hinduism for an Indian guy. Essentially, he's saying he wants to date a white girl and have her accept or convert to Hinduism.

 

Its certainly possible for someone with social skills to over-come inter-religious marriage.

 

But the OP is saying he is an introvert with no social skills, yet he seems obsessed with dating women who are completely different than him. That's a completely superficial view of dating. He wants a white woman because of skin color or beauty but doesn't want to get to know, accept, and understand the person inside.

 

Most couples survive because they communicate well, and they share the same interests, hobbies, and beliefs. It makes life easier. Otherwise, it takes a lot of social skills and charm to date women completely different from you.

 

I think Canadiens are generally politically liberal but Catholicism is the national religion, and many Canadiens have French ancestry.

[kart180]

Religion and spiritual beliefs are often not publicly spoken but more personally important. Just because someone doesn't attend church or is not a practicing Christian doesn't meant that same girl will be willing to convert to Hinduism for an Indian guy. Essentially, he's saying he wants to date a white girl and have her accept or convert to Hinduism.

 

Its certainly possible for someone with social skills to over-come inter-religious marriage.

As a person whos relatives married Christians. I as a British Sri Lankan am happy a Hindu but I we dont need to convert to Christianity but willing to embrace it. Would prefer a date and marry a women who has buddisht belifs but whatever turns up

[jcrew11]

Actually, I have done a TON of research. Too much actually. What I meant was, how am I supposed to get a" yes" with this height and race? And how am I supposed to know why they rejected me? Its not like they tell you. I mean, yes I have given deep thought to why I might have gotten rejected besides the mere fact that she doesn't like me. But I can't exactly know why.

 

I have watched tons of videos, read tons of articles, spent hours a day surfing the forums about this shot for the past three months, and a lot on and off over the past few years. I still do. The problem not at all is the research. Its the lack of experience, which I am trying to get. Which I will get.

 

The main problem is I feel like I am going to keep getting rejected like 50 times without getting a "yes" while other guys will get 3 out of 10 at least if they are tall and white. That's what pisses me off. And really, I can't approach too many girls so quickly because then I will be labeled creepy. I am still getting over my approach anxiety and social awkwardness as well.

 

Are you approaching women out of your league? You might want to start dating chubby girls and girls who aren't physically attractive (but have nice personalities). Try becoming friends with girls first, even if they are not romantically interested in you, they can give you advice on how to be a more attractive man. Girls love makeovers. Work on increasing your social circle and making more friends. Being an introvert will hurt you, unless you are only interested in introverted girls who share the same hobbies. Girls judge a guy on personality (is he a nice guy, is he charming) more than looks. Also, many girls don't start dating until college (when they can go wild and hookup with lots of guys). Most high school girls don't date much because they are worried about their reputations. You really have to put in a lot work and flirting with high school girls (if you aren't the QB). Also, never ask a girl out first, you want to make the girl want to date you (Play the long game, it can take weeks or months for a girl to start liking a guy).

[serial muse]

There is a trend of white-Americans becoming more atheist and agnostic (anti-Christian), so that might work in your favor. College girls are particularly open-minded about different religion. But people usually end up marrying someone of the same religious beliefs or ideas.

 

But there are also a large number of white people and their parents who devoutly follow Christianity or Catholicism, so its up to you if you want to share a white family's Christian customs and holidays.

 

If you don't like the idea of "religion" then you must also be willing to not follow your own religious practices. Its easy for a person to say "all religions are stupid" but refuse to give up their own religion. At the same time, its disrespectful to tell devout followers that their religious values are wrong. A person can be anti-christian or anti-religion; and not want to have Christian friends. If you want to be a truly open-minded person, you need to accept people of all faiths - Christianity, Muslim, Jewish, etc.

 

But if you are Atheist/Agnostic - then you will only want to be around other anti-christian and anti-religious, atheist and agnostic people. It might narrow down your social circle to just hippies, punks, emo, goth, pierced tattoo girls.

 

Its up to you to decide what type of social circle you want to have. Most people end up marrying and dating people from their church communities. There are a lot of alternative white religions like unitarianism that offer a lot of social support for non-christians. Find what type of social scene makes you happy and you'll eventually find a girl with similar interests.

 

I am honestly laughing out loud at the bits in bold. It's nice that you want to help this poster, but this really isn't the place for this soapbox. I wonder if you actually know very many athiest and agnostic people (or any at all)? The vast majority of them are not hippies, punks, emo, goth, pierced tattoo girls, or circus performers. :lmao: I mean, really. And lots of them have practicing Christian (and other religious) friends.

 

Anyway. As far as religion goes, the OP has said repeatedly that he's not trying to get anybody to convert, and that he only lightly practices Hinduism and would be perfectly happy with a Christian (or, presumably, practitioner of other faith) girl. So I don't think religion an issue here. It's a big red herring.

 

The primary issue I see, OP, is your self-loathing, which is tied up in your cultural background as much as in your anxiety about your height. And perhaps it is that self-loathing that has kept you from making friends? Others have suggested that you focus on widening your social circle, and I will, too. It's a long-range plan that will help bring you into contact with more potential dates, but also will bring you more joy and offer you more opportunity to get out of your head and become happier with who you are.

 

I'm curious about something, on that point. You mentioned that it's this latest crush that brought you to this point, and that this happened only this year. But you also said you don't have many friends, which sounds like a longer-term issue - and that to some extent that's self-inflicted. What brought that about? Why haven't you wanted to have more of a social circle before? Is it personal preference or that same self-loathing?