Who Doesn't Want Kids?

[Leigh 87]

This is a good idea. Especially as working holidays in some countries have an age limit of age 30 or so.

 

 

 

 

Well I am spending the years working towards being a professional for my own satisfaction, I realistically know it may not EVER yield overseas holidays if I am seriously about having a mortgage.

 

Better to go now while I still can.

 

In Aus it is hard to get bar work as THOUSANDS and vying for bar work it is near impossible to get many hours in it.

 

Our minimum wage is high so this full time bar work overseas will get me jobs in my own country easier when I return.

 

It is not as easy as just going to your local bar and getting work in Aus, you need experience, a lot of it, to even be considered.

[Leigh 87]

Thats a very personal decision and unique to every case and couple and their health. There is also (without medical intervention to prevent it) a higher risk of things like downs syndrome with babies conceived later in life.

 

We had our first together around 41/42. For me personally this was not too old and actually a good age. We did use some rather advanced treatments. The untied states has some of the more advanced treatments available, so advanced they are banned or highly regulated in other countries.

 

We are actual in the process of one last minor attempt for another child. I would say this time I have doubts on being too old, but we decided to proceed anyway (another story).

 

 

 

Well congratulations on being able to start a family, I am happy to hear it worked out.

 

In many ways, if not physiologically, you probably have more to offer a child at that age, due to more financial stability and more life experience/maturity.

 

In ten years I will re visit it and I will have done another two overseas trips by then, I am sure that will be enough for me to secede to settle down IF I want kids.

[Els]

Well I am spending the years working towards being a professional for my own satisfaction, I realistically know it may not EVER yield overseas holidays if I am seriously about having a mortgage.

 

Better to go now while I still can.

 

In Aus it is hard to get bar work as THOUSANDS and vying for bar work it is near impossible to get many hours in it.

 

Our minimum wage is high so this full time bar work overseas will get me jobs in my own country easier when I return.

 

It is not as easy as just going to your local bar and getting work in Aus, you need experience, a lot of it, to even be considered.

 

 

Well, there is still a risk that you wouldn't get a job overseas, especially if you want to pick what you do. People on working holiday visas are generally disadvantaged because most employers with options will prefer a permanent resident or student, as they aren't guaranteed to leave within a few months.

 

You should still go, but plan your emergency funds accordingly.

[Leigh 87]

I have a 6 day old. We conceived first time we tried, I was 37.

 

 

A 6 day old

 

Congratulations?!

[dichotomy]

Eh...

 

My boyfriends family member is 40, drop dead gorgeous, she was a thin model in top health, great shape..... her son is a tad "slow"..... she had him age 40. Her husband is also in top shape.

 

I guess I am not comfortable with that idea but hey, with the latest and newest technology still pending, by 10 years I am sure there are enough intelligent scientists about to make the whole " having kids at an older age" possible. All this is 10 fold more difficult for me, if I lack the finances AND have a child that is developmentally challenged due to having a child at age 40 ish....

 

 

 

The scientist already did, so if you get the money, don't worry about the healthy kid creation at 40 or later. But another 10 years and yes it will be even more advanced.

[Leigh 87]

Well, there is still a risk that you wouldn't get a job overseas, especially if you want to pick what you do. People on working holiday visas are generally disadvantaged because most employers with options will prefer a permanent resident or student, as they aren't guaranteed to leave within a few months.

 

You should still go, but plan your emergency funds accordingly.

 

 

 

 

They lock in a contract before you buy a ticket.

 

I am fairly sure unless you hit someone or sexually harass a colleague, you are guaranteed full time work before you travel there.

 

I will have a few hundred to boot though. The idea is you secure a contract first before going and you start work as soon as you get there and overcome jetlag.

[Els]

They lock in a contract before you buy a ticket.

 

I am fairly sure unless you hit someone or sexually harass a colleague, you are guaranteed full time work before you travel there.

 

I will have a few hundred to boot though. The idea is you secure a contract first before going and you start work as soon as you get there and overcome jetlag.

 

Oh, interesting, I had no idea they do that in Canada. I thought you meant that they guaranteed you the visa, but you had to go there to find work.

 

Have fun, then!

[Leigh 87]

Oh, interesting, I had no idea they do that in Canada. I thought you meant that they guaranteed you the visa, but you had to go there to find work.

 

Have fun, then!

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is too expensive to work in Canada by the 2014 Ski season THIS November, as you need programme fees plus 2500 in your bank account once you go. PLUS the 1500 return ticket.

I can only afford the return ticket and a few hundred to spare :o:o:o

 

All up I have to save 5K before embarking on EITHER option, so I have to decide which one I will do first basically, it will take me ONE YEAR to save up for EACH programme. Ski season is too early for me to save and the volunteer programme I picked leaves every month so.... yeah.

 

I can save 10K easily within 2.5 years IF I live at home during college which = the cost of both programmes.

 

So the minimum amount of time it'll take me to even save the 5K is one year from now. I am saving 100 per week and my boyfriend is giving me 200 towards it as are my parents as they think it'll be invaluable for me to volunteer or work full time overseas on a working holiday

 

I still consider these options as better than plain travel without a cause - as both will look good on a resume = working overseas either working full time OR volunteering for a cause I am genuinely into.

 

I am not into holidays that involve lazing around as I do this a lot as it is:o I would much rather see the world and do something useful in the process.

[Shepp]

LOL. Yeah, if someone had told you that " hey, in a year from now you will have two children to take care of. Sink or swim" you would probs not look at that scenario very favourably

 

Haha my gf would of bolted - you'd of been seeing an Alex shaped hole in the nearest door! And I'd of thought they were crazy!! And it's not like I didn't want my own little family - I did but I'd of told you i didn't know anything about babies - how could I look after two tiny little people?

 

The secret is that.. I still dont! I just do my best guessing every day - I think that's what everyone does really! Cause as much as you learn stuff there's always new stuff you don't know, guess that's the nature of the game!

I didn't think I'd ever know what different cries meant, and then suddenly I did! But i still wasn't prepared for Ron to have a seziure.

I sat in the NICU with them and I couldn't imagine them swimming, but now I take them all the time! But that doesn't make me ready for them to be able to crawl in two different directions - and I can see that coming soon! Haha!

 

That's why imho no one will ever be ready for kids - just learn to be chill with jumping before your ready! Haha!

 

i foresee the world getting harder and people falling into either the poor OR rich category, with few and far between.

Yeah, I agree, when you look at the big cities like London and working class is starting to mean poor - that's probably gonna spread in years to come! The big cities will become detached from the rest of the country, worldwide.

 

Is kind of how it used to be in the olden days - they say everything comes in cycles!

[Leigh 87]

I have thought about all this and I have had a few revelations.

 

After my next trip in a year to volunteer, I would be happy to give it all up..all this travel business, in order to contribute towards a mortgage with my boyfriend.

 

We came to an agreement; I am traveling overseas once more time to volunteer and getting my nose job. I will then be very, very happy to give up overseas travel and save hard towards our mortgage, of which he will have 50 K saved towards by this point as he is ALREADY saving for it and has about 30 K as it is.

 

I was never against kids; I was against the fact I would never be able to go overseas again with kids. Then again, even childless couples will likely never be able to leave the country on the average wage unless they saved REALLY hard, given the current climate...

 

 

I would be so happy with a mortgage, my boyfriend and a child or two living very poorly yet with a lot of love and absolutely no travel for life. This is a much happier prospect for me than living without him and getting a few more "overseas trips"

 

Maybe if I work really hard and get lucky ten or so years after college, we can take a child for one overseas trip his its lifetime before it leaves home (it since I dunno if I will even have kids children, I dunno what he future holds).

 

But yeah, my new plan involves having one last overseas trip and then giving it all up for him. If I ever got to go overseas again I would take that option but I wont be phased if our wages combined would never allow for it. He is worth a lot more than travel.

[Leigh 87]

Haha my gf would of bolted - you'd of been seeing an Alex shaped hole in the nearest door! And I'd of thought they were crazy!! And it's not like I didn't want my own little family - I did but I'd of told you i didn't know anything about babies - how could I look after two tiny little people?

 

The secret is that.. I still dont! I just do my best guessing every day - I think that's what everyone does really! Cause as much as you learn stuff there's always new stuff you don't know, guess that's the nature of the game!

I didn't think I'd ever know what different cries meant, and then suddenly I did! But i still wasn't prepared for Ron to have a seziure.

I sat in the NICU with them and I couldn't imagine them swimming, but now I take them all the time! But that doesn't make me ready for them to be able to crawl in two different directions - and I can see that coming soon! Haha!

 

 

Much like you, my bf would also be a very hands on dad. It actually makes me beam with...something... to read the way you describe your two boys, as I liken it to the way my own partner is as a person and would be with children, no doubt:lmao:

 

He adores children and loves the idea of having one with me. He has wanted kids since late 20's.....With his last gf who wanted kids he .... liked the idea of having kids all of a sudden but not with her, LOL.... he just warmed to the idea since his ex brought it up and he was coming of age. Now, we both have passing thoughts of having a "little him and a little me". It is a very warm thought. We are in no rush but we have started to regularly both voice our ...desire and happy thoughts surrounding ending up together with a family. REHASH: NOT any time soon!

 

He is just a very loving and wonderful person on every level... very considerate, he puts my needs before his own. He is GREAT AT BUDGETING and being RESPONSIBLE. He has managed to save 30k on bellow minimum wage within a 2 or 3 year period. He saves over half of what he earns and lives very frugally yet we have so much fun together....we are extremely happy just being able to sit inside and spend time talking/watching TV, browsing online..

 

I feel as though he was sent to me to show me what it is actually like to have "that guy" who treats you wonderfully and makes you so happy that you then harness the energy to be better in your own life in any way possible. I KNEW after my ex and through reading this board for the years and making so many posts and reading SO many stories, what a guy should do in order to treat to you right.

 

I have come to realise that I don't want save all my cash saving for overseas travel and saving the world on as large of a scale as POSSIBLE. My boyfriend and having a family come first. Followed me taking care of my mum into old age, then altruism and THEN maybe one overseas trip on my future children's lives. My parents taking me overseas opened up my mind a lot as a child.

 

I would rather have a rare gem like HIM, who still adores me in spite of my really dubious sexual past and other awful baggage (which is dissipating as I am a fundamentally good person and I get help for my past)

 

 

 

Ironically, my ex is going through the same thing as me. My ex and I don't talk but he wanted to reach out to me out of the blue since that thread I made about him. He too has found "that girl" who he just loves more than other girls he has been with......

 

Get this. My boyfriend loved to drink and party on weekends (he is responsible and earns a goods wage during his working week), and this girl has never drink in her life and looks down on drinkers.

 

She expects my boyfriend to quit drinking and never party again. He is going to Europe for a long trip and he is taking her with him only, she is the polar opposite to him. Furthermore, she wants marriage and babies and he is carefree and wanting to see the world and enjoy life. She has agreed to travel with him since it means so much to him but she wont budge on wanting him to quit drinking and partying for good. I told my ex: you and I were alike but we didn't have that level of love, so her being different to you yet having the sort of love you share with her and may not find with another girl, is a lot to risk. Personally, I cant imagine loving another man the same way I do my current boyfriend, the sort of person he is far surpasses losing him for a life of more travel and carefree childless days....

 

I can see that a lot of people compromise and when we find that person who we are passionate about and we fall hard and strong for, and yet who miraculously ends up being a wonderful person with staying power, it is .... not wise to let it go. I never heard of a relationship besides my friends, that was started with a fire, intense chemistry and the whole " falling hard and fast" premise, and which also LASTED.

My ex said his new gf is great but they are very different. She wants lush hotels and he wants hostels. She REALLY wants to be a mum, he is indifferent about kids since he is, frankly, emotionally stunted himself in ways and wants to live a little before he considers kids. I think it'll work out well for us both which makes me happy since we, well, were both really upset when we had to think about life without each after, as we were every close.

 

I basically told him that if she will be "that girl" who got away and you cant see yourself feeling this way again for another woman, then don't let her go and instead, try to embrace the fact you are polar opposite. True love is learning to love a alcohol free life for her; imagine losing her and never finding love like that again, shouldn't it make you happy to simply HAVE her to spend your days with SANSE alcohol?

 

The only thing I will highlight is: I never hated kids, sorry it sounded that way, but people who fundamentally DO NOT want them should not have them if they feel they will regret it later. My ex is like me, he LIKES the idea of kids but would be find never having them, yet he would really enjoy being a dad I can tell, he will be great if it happens for him.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fixed quote

[pink_sugar]

I have thought about all this and I have had a few revelations.

 

After my next trip in a year to volunteer, I would be happy to give it all up..all this travel business, in order to contribute towards a mortgage with my boyfriend.

 

We came to an agreement; I am traveling overseas once more time to volunteer and getting my nose job. I will then be very, very happy to give up overseas travel and save hard towards our mortgage, of which he will have 50 K saved towards by this point as he is ALREADY saving for it and has about 30 K as it is.

 

I was never against kids; I was against the fact I would never be able to go overseas again with kids. Then again, even childless couples will likely never be able to leave the country on the average wage unless they saved REALLY hard, given the current climate...

 

 

I would be so happy with a mortgage, my boyfriend and a child or two living very poorly yet with a lot of love and absolutely no travel for life. This is a much happier prospect for me than living without him and getting a few more "overseas trips"

 

Maybe if I work really hard and get lucky ten or so years after college, we can take a child for one overseas trip his its lifetime before it leaves home (it since I dunno if I will even have kids children, I dunno what he future holds).

 

But yeah, my new plan involves having one last overseas trip and then giving it all up for him. If I ever got to go overseas again I would take that option but I wont be phased if our wages combined would never allow for it. He is worth a lot more than travel.

 

How come you feel you have to give up travel for your boyfriend? I'm definitely not going to give up travel...not even for my husband as that sort of thing will cause resentment later, if you were to break up or divorce. Not saying that will happen to you, but you don't want to end up resenting him because you gave up your dream for him.

[MidwestUSA]

Leigh, half of that post was about your ex, and ended with you stating how you and he are alike on this issue. You still reminisce about him and know WAY too much about his current relationship. That you would even spend the time detailing it to us, well, are you sure you're over him?

 

"The only thing I will highlight is: I never hated kids, sorry it sounded that way,but people who fundamentally DO NOT want them should not have them if they feel they will regret it later. My ex is like me, he LIKES the idea of kids but would be find never having them, yet he would really enjoy being a dad I can tell, he will be great if it happens for him."

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, half of that post was about your ex, and ended with you stating how you and he are alike on this issue. You still reminisce about him and know WAY too much about his current relationship. That you would even spend the time detailing it to us, well, are you sure you're over him?

 

"The only thing I will highlight is: I never hated kids, sorry it sounded that way,but people who fundamentally DO NOT want them should not have them if they feel they will regret it later. My ex is like me, he LIKES the idea of kids but would be find never having them, yet he would really enjoy being a dad I can tell, he will be great if it happens for him."

 

 

I have ZERO feelings for my ex. I care about him though but no romance.

 

I am a sentimental person and will always care about past exes.

 

He is the one who texts me once in a blue moon for advice about his new gf, he is struggling atm so urged him to work on things and appreciate what he has.

[Leigh 87]

How come you feel you have to give up travel for your boyfriend? I'm definitely not going to give up travel...not even for my husband as that sort of thing will cause resentment later, if you were to break up or divorce. Not saying that will happen to you, but you don't want to end up resenting him because you gave up your dream for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But we wont have a high income to support travel AND a family.

 

I will graduate at age 31 for my bachelor and 32 or 33 for my masters. Do you realise that that means I will VERY likely be on a low, close to minimum wage for years to come? New graduates stay on low wages for many, many years until they prove themselves and earn their time in their field.

 

I have to choose one of the other. I will NOT EVER afford travel AND a child.

 

I love my boyfriend in a way I don't think I will ever feel like again, the thought of giving it all for him makes me HAPPIER than a life of travel and altruism sans kids.

 

He says he has a plan and will not have kids on a low income. Well I will be on a low income so I am not sure how he plans to live in comfort? We will live in a dump and me dirt poor so I am not sure why he wont come to terms with that?

 

I can come to terms with living in a dump and never travelling again in the name of love. It makes me very happy thinking of a poverty stricken life with him than. At least I will be with him, I will have food, shelter....

 

I do plan to add a one year masters to my social work bachelor, I plan to work hard but ANY 33 year old masters graduate WILL NOT get a high wage ANY time soon.....

 

My life will be very basic and I will be the working poor. For MANY years to come. I personally don't feel great about the fact I will likely not afford meals for me AND a child on a daily basis, but giving up travel is a no brainer, it is the least of my worries.

 

I plan to claw my way out of poverty or a low income, run down dump of a household, I plan on working hard and eventually aiming towards an average wage. I am SURE that can be done with a masters degree and a drive and friendly demeanour that gets results in my work place.

 

I am smart enough to know the state of the world in general in terms of the economic climate and hell YES I will ABSOLTUELY have to give up overseas travel FOR GOOD the day I have a child. He will not be on a high income and I will be on a LOWWW income for MANy, many years.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, half of that post was about your ex, and ended with you stating how you and he are alike on this issue. You still reminisce about him and know WAY too much about his current relationship. That you would even spend the time detailing it to us, well, are you sure you're over him?

 

"The only thing I will highlight is: I never hated kids, sorry it sounded that way,but people who fundamentally DO NOT want them should not have them if they feel they will regret it later. My ex is like me, he LIKES the idea of kids but would be find never having them, yet he would really enjoy being a dad I can tell, he will be great if it happens for him."

 

 

Ex and I broke up a year ago and there are zero romantic feelings left from both parties involved. We care about each other more than most exes I admit because we were very close, that was what our relationship was founded on; we were extremely close and co dependant, my ex and I, there was never any great romance there and clearly never will be. We both lack the capacity to fall IN love.

 

My only concern regarding children was it would quiet certainly have us living at the poverty line since I will be on a low income and he will at best be an average income earner.

 

Graduating at 31, working full time, getting masters at 32 or 33 = total poverty or being the working poor for a good TEN years. This is hwo the world works for the MAJORITY.

 

Yes poor people can afford overseas travel on 30 K a year if they walk rather than driving, use public transport, use candles rather than electricity, and just stay inside, work, come home, go for runs for exercise and never spend a penny more besides on the most discounted food items. If single and childless I WAS going to make overseas travel happen EVEN as an OLD graduate! I would share a flat with 4 people, I would not eat every meal, I would save like crazy for that once a year chance to get out of this country and see more of the world.

 

However, since my boyfriend and I love the idea of creating a child together, I would give overseas travel up for a life with him and his child.

 

I would hands down be infinitely MORE happy WITH him in poverty than I would traveling the world alone.

 

Why? Because he makes me happy; he makes me happy enough to give my up my dreams for and rather, create new dreams such as still fostering animals and having a few dogs and cats as a means to rescue the few we can afford to cram into our likely tine yard.

[pink_sugar]

 

Yes poor people can afford overseas travel on 30 K a year if they walk rather than driving, use public transport, use candles rather than electricity, and just stay inside, work, come home, go for runs for exercise and never spend a penny more besides on the most discounted food items. If single and childless I WAS going to make overseas travel happen EVEN as an OLD graduate! I would share a flat with 4 people, I would not eat every meal, I would save like crazy for that once a year chance to get out of this country and see more of the world.

 

However, since my boyfriend and I love the idea of creating a child together, I would give overseas travel up for a life with him and his child.

 

I would hands down be infinitely MORE happy WITH him in poverty than I would traveling the world alone.

 

Why? Because he makes me happy; he makes me happy enough to give my up my dreams for and rather, create new dreams such as still fostering animals and having a few dogs and cats as a means to rescue the few we can afford to cram into our likely tine yard.

 

 

This isn't all that realistic though. I mean, skip meals, use candles all the time, don't drive? (Some areas having a car and driving is a necessity if public transit isn't great). I can see maybe limit eating out to once a month, shop at discount retailers for food, clip coupons, forgo a new car and opt for an older but reliable car, rent a one bedroom apartment instead of a 2 or 3 bedroom with fancy amenities. Those are realistic cut backs, but skipping meals and so on? Just not healthy. I actually lost out on a travel opportunity when I was much younger, because my dad had something against my boyfriend and would not pay for my trip if my boyfriend went (even though my boyfriend was paying for himself. ) anyways, I really regret it now. I passed it up, because I didn't want to travel alone and didn't want to be without my boyfriend. (Though my dad was being a dbag about it). I don't want you to feel the same someday.

[Leigh 87]

This isn't all that realistic though. I mean, skip meals, use candles all the time, don't drive? (Some areas having a car and driving is a necessity if public transit isn't great). I can see maybe limit eating out to once a month, shop at discount retailers for food, clip coupons, forgo a new car and opt for an older but reliable car, rent a one bedroom apartment instead of a 2 or 3 bedroom with fancy amenities. Those are realistic cut backs, but skipping meals and so on? Just not healthy. I actually lost out on a travel opportunity when I was much younger, because my dad had something against my boyfriend and would not pay for my trip if my boyfriend went (even though my boyfriend was paying for himself. ) anyways, I really regret it now. I passed it up, because I didn't want to travel alone and didn't want to be without my boyfriend. (Though my dad was being a dbag about it). I don't want you to feel the same someday.

 

 

 

Once I move out and work I won'tbe able to affor overseas travel again in my life time anyway.

 

HOWEVER, If BOTH of us work we will be able to support a child's most basic needs. ...In gen years time from now.

 

Whilst livi

[Shepp]

Yes poor people can afford overseas travel on 30 K a year if they walk rather than driving, use public transport, use candles rather than electricity, and just stay inside, work, come home, go for runs for exercise and never spend a penny more besides on the most discounted food items. If single and childless I WAS going to make overseas travel happen EVEN as an OLD graduate! I would share a flat with 4 people, I would not eat every meal, I would save like crazy for that once a year chance to get out of this country and see more of the world.

 

I don't bring home a huge wage, a firefighter over here earns just under 30k, but I also make 7 or 8k from playing football so...Decent, thats a pretty comfortable working class wage! But working class all they same!

We have twin boys and we're still planning holidays! Holidays just aren't as expensive as this thread suggests (though as I'm typing this I'm wondering if that might be because England is close to Europe, so your not paying for a long flight?)

Best holiday I ever had was camping and biking through the alps - cost under £500

- if you down for low cost holidays, like camping or log cabins as apposed to 4 or 5 star hotels then is totally to possible to travel and parent! Or at least it totally can be possible!

[Anela]

I think it is because England is closer to Europe, although we couldn't afford to go on vacation when I was a kid and lived in England, either. :/ A friend of mine, who's been all over the place, was surprised to find that I'd only been to France, on a school trip.

 

I have family who are always seeming to pop over to Spain or Greece, though.

[Leigh 87]

I think it is because England is closer to Europe, although we couldn't afford to go on vacation when I was a kid and lived in England, either. :/ A friend of mine, who's been all over the place, was surprised to find that I'd only been to France, on a school trip.

 

I have family who are always seeming to pop over to Spain or Greece, though.

 

 

 

See, I've been to Russia, Europe, the USA and a few Asian countries. As well as to most states in my own country.

 

I am also going to Africa in about a years time to volunteer.

 

Frankly, overseas travel made up some of the most happy memories of my life and I got to come into contact with a wide array of people. ...

 

I want to take any of my future children overseas once. Just once, that's all I'm praying for.

 

However, on a Social workers salary may not ever afford to leave my country again alone, much less with me AND a child.

 

I plan to do a masters degree after the social work one. I want the opportunity to earn an an average wage.... where I could save for 1 or 2 overseas trips over my child's life time.

 

I somehow doubt that even if I fortunate enough to earn an average income..... that won't be enough to ever take my child overseas.

 

mind you, my mother was a teacher. Dad fell I'll at age 38 after having been a manager of the major telecommunications company.

 

Mum managed to send overseas on her 120 k salary as a teacher in Hong Kong.

 

When she was on a lot less in our home country she afforded to take me to Asia but not Europe or the USA.

 

When my dad won his lawsuit against the jerk doctor who nearly killed him, he took me to America.

 

Furthermore, I am an only child. My parents afforded me overseas travel to far away countries only when mum earn 100 plus K.

 

Dad is too I'll to work so if both me AND my partner earn 50 k each, we will likely afford to takeone child ooverseas IF they are an only child and OF it is only one of us taking them.

[thefooloftheyear]

Dont have much to add other than I love the hell out of my daughter and I wouldnt trade completely free intergalactic travel for one single day without her...

 

Just put one foot in front of the other and take a deep breath, OP...

 

TFY

[Leigh 87]

The main thing that scared me about starting a family was the end of my life as I know it. It wasn't so much the having a child that got to me and the fact that children are so expensive in the current bad financial climate....

 

I planned to be in my 30's and still travelling overseas SINGLE and living it up due to no kids or financial burdens. I have happened to have met a man that I think is wonderful and who makes me much happier than this "fun single life" would ever had made me. However, I met him a lot sooner than I had anticipated. I guess the idea of traveling and being single/going to the gym a lot and getting to have all these options of suitors excited me....

 

I admit I liked all the male attention I got....

 

I liked getting to pick from all these prospects... Come on, you're only in your prime once.

I didn't think I would meet "the one" for years to come, realistically I want not only a wonderful person as a partner who treats me very well, yet I also want the butterflies and sparks and hot chemistry. I didn't think I would find someone that made me all excited, offered fantastic sex and was also such a nice guy..... After reading about relationships fairly extensively and also dating enough guys myself, including two long term R's, it is dead obvious to me that my current partner is well worth... well worth settling down with.

 

I consciously new that life with my boyfriend was a no brainer but to me, a person like myself who has NEVER aspired to be settled down with a family, I guess it has taken a person I believe to be " it" for me to push me to want to pursue that OPPOSED TO being single and travelling, looking forward to exciting dating prospects.

 

There are always ways to follow "dreams" on a smaller scale if need be. Sure, I may not be able to save the world on a social workers salary, but I can still foster a few rescue animals, volunteer during and after college, etc...I wanted to make sure I loved my boyfriend to death... enough to, if it came down to it, give up travel and have a family with him INSTEAD. It is clear as day to me that I would be happy to give that up for him...