Jump to content

My Boyfriend Has a Disability

Leigh 87

By Leigh 87
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I DON'T get you, so if you come back, maybe you can expound on this a little?

 

 

 

Well maybe her looks have something to do with the fact she is walking right into a well paid job after a SOCIAL SCIENCE degree.

 

I don't think she's that much bEtter looking than me so perhaps she just got super lucky?

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted
I DON'T get you, so if you come back, maybe you can expound on this a little?

 

It seems like people think that looks have a lot to do with getting a job unrelated to one's appearance :confused:

 

I had a similar conversation with a guy recently....he commented how mutual friend got hired to work in a lab because she was "hot"...little does he know that she was actually interviewed and hired by a female.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Haha, okay. I'll do that :D

 

 

 

Well unlike most women I know, I have a guy who Iis totally devoted to me and who I also feel guess same way about.

 

I get the "nice guy" who I had crazy chemistry with and who is a wonderful person

 

I can't see why concluding that I don't want kids unless I have a good joint income, when he feels.the same way essentially, is a bad thing.

 

I don't really see anything bad you could say. I have found a wonderful guy. I made the choice to not throw it away.

MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
Posted
It seems like people think that looks have a lot to do with getting a job unrelated to one's appearance :confused:

 

I had a similar conversation with a guy recently....he commented how mutual friend got hired to work in a lab because she was "hot"...little does he know that she was actually interviewed and hired by a female.

 

 

 

LOL, thanks for the chuckle. I got hired once over the guy in contention because the company needed more females on their intramural softball team.

 

 

And here I thought there was something different about Australia! Good luck in your new job, and safe travels!

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
It seems like people think that looks have a lot to do with getting a job unrelated to one's appearance :confused:

 

I had a similar conversation with a guy recently....he commented how mutual friend got hired to work in a lab because she was "hot"...little does he know that she was actually interviewed and hired by a female.

 

 

 

I don't see how a social science student walks into a well paid job unless she is attractive.

 

She also has a nice personality.

 

It sucks that I'm getting an honors degree that is a year longer than hers AND an additional. Diploma in a relevant area AND I will have done more volunteer work by the time I graduate ........

 

 

and I don't expect to walk into a career orientated job much less one with a Higher than average income. Seriously, WHY is she so darn lucky?

anne1707 Established Member

anne1707

Posted
Posted

How about maybe she interviewed really well? That she has researched the organisation and had a clear understanding and knowledge of the work she would have to do? That she gave well thought out answers and also asked intelligent questions?

  • Like 1
  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
How about maybe she interviewed really well? That she has researched the organisation and had a clear understanding and knowledge of the work she would have to do? That she gave well thought out answers and also asked intelligent questions?

 

Yeah I know to do all of this.

 

Still doesn't land most social science students work fresh out of college. She is literally the only one I have ever heard of that has walked into a well paid job. She is a social science graduate.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted
Well unlike most women I know, I have a guy who Iis totally devoted to me and who I also feel guess same way about.

 

I get the "nice guy" who I had crazy chemistry with and who is a wonderful person

 

I can't see why concluding that I don't want kids unless I have a good joint income, when he feels.the same way essentially, is a bad thing.

 

I don't really see anything bad you could say. I have found a wonderful guy. I made the choice to not throw it away.

 

 

I was more laughing because you left a word out of the cliche that made it funny.

Iguanna Established Member

Iguanna

Posted
Posted
Holy Crap... This thread and the OP are all over the place.

 

1. Trouble in paradise with Disabled Low Income BF because he wanted kids.

 

2. OP is open to kids but only if they both make high incomes (i never saw the exact dollar amount required).

 

3. OP is choosing career that pays little to nothing. Due to BFs disability High Income isn't likely.

 

4. BF must make very very high income since OP never will if he wants to fulfill his desire / need for kids.

 

5. Botox, Traveling, plastic surgery, etc. is higher on OP's priority list and comes before BF and his desire to have kids.

 

6. BF later changed his mind and said he also doesn't want kids if him and OP don't make high incomes.

 

7. OP and BF even though they haven't dated but a few months need couples counseling to deal with him forgoing kids and accepting it cause OP will never make a high income and neither will he.

 

8. OP realized BFs desire for kids is a BIG DEAL and was considering ending the relationship because BF deserves the right to find someone who doesn't care if he "low income" or not. Also didn't think she was being fair that she put stipulations on whether or not he is allowed to have kids based on botox, traveling, plastic surgery and what she deemed was the correct income levels.

 

9. OP and BF are back in agreement and will not have kids due to both having low incomes but somehow they are still going to afford traveling, rescuing animals, botox, plastic surgery and a lot of couples / marriage counseling.

 

10. OP is back to being happy and choosing not to break up with "good" guy, disabled, low income BF because he is devoted and he demonstrated his devotion by forgoing kids for her, botox, traveling and plastic surgery.

 

Did I miss anything and get this all correct?

 

Nah that's pretty much it. Lets wait for next week's new episode now. :rolleyes:

ja123 Established Member

ja123

Posted
Posted

Why don't you two start a business so you can make some real income?

 

 

Who says you have to be low-income?

 

 

Work for yourselves!

  • Like 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

Posted
Posted

I do understand where u are coming from but honestly if u really dont want children dont have them... its your right and choice.. its not about money. My sister had one after not wanting any all of her life (her partner said he would leave her, even tho he knew from day 1 she never wanted kids) the marriage is now under a lot of stress and there is an awful lot of resentment there! if its really not what u want then dont do it x

 

Also if u are genuinely open to the idea then why dont u just take all this one day at a time... anything could happen.. if u are only a few months into the RS and already u are talking about counselling etc then u could inadvertently put so much stress and pressure on this new RS that u break it and take all the fun out of it x

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

Posted
Posted

BTW I was 8 months pregnant when I got made redundant so living proof that no matter how much u try to plan ahead life will always throw a curve ball at u! x

J21 Established Member

J21

Posted
Posted (edited)
Holy Crap... This thread and the OP are all over the place.

 

1. Trouble in paradise with Disabled Low Income BF because he wanted kids.

 

2. OP is open to kids but only if they both make high incomes (i never saw the exact dollar amount required).

 

3. OP is choosing career that pays little to nothing. Due to BFs disability High Income isn't likely.

 

4. BF must make very very high income since OP never will if he wants to fulfill his desire / need for kids.

 

5. Botox, Traveling, plastic surgery, etc. is higher on OP's priority list and comes before BF and his desire to have kids.

 

6. BF later changed his mind and said he also doesn't want kids if him and OP don't make high incomes.

 

7. OP and BF even though they haven't dated but a few months need couples counseling to deal with him forgoing kids and accepting it cause OP will never make a high income and neither will he.

 

8. OP realized BFs desire for kids is a BIG DEAL and was considering ending the relationship because BF deserves the right to find someone who doesn't care if he "low income" or not. Also didn't think she was being fair that she put stipulations on whether or not he is allowed to have kids based on botox, traveling, plastic surgery and what she deemed was the correct income levels.

 

9. OP and BF are back in agreement and will not have kids due to both having low incomes but somehow they are still going to afford traveling, rescuing animals, botox, plastic surgery and a lot of couples / marriage counseling.

 

10. OP is back to being happy and choosing not to break up with "good" guy, disabled, low income BF because he is devoted and he demonstrated his devotion by forgoing kids for her, botox, traveling and plastic surgery.

 

Did I miss anything and get this all correct?

11. OP constantly compares herself to others. Whether her friend (that makes 50K) met someone she is smitten with (he makes 70K) or a social science student that walks into a well paying job because she is attractive. Rather than give the benefit of the doubt the social science student has been diligent in school and answered the interview questions intelligently, she jumps to conclusion it was because she was attractive.

Edited by J21
  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Social workers in Australia do not typically make little to no income. Get your facts right.

 

On an average income you can afford overseas travel and a small place that has a large yard in which to rescue animals.

 

I never said my friend didn't deserve to talk into a highly paid job. My point was it is NOT common for social science students to walk into highly paid jobs.

I am as smart as my friend so I am sure I stand a good chance of getting a job in the manner in which she did. Given I have been told by former managers that I interview well plus I will likely get the same marks my mate did AND with a more recognized degree here in Australia.

 

Also my boyfriend does not want kids that badly that he would have them poor, on low incomes.

 

you really need to.get your facts right about social workers in Australia. It is NOT a little to no pay job.

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Nah that's pretty much it. Lets wait for next week's new episode now. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

I asked you to not bother posting if you have nnothing useful to say?

 

I have a very happy life thanks there is no need for you to make rude comments re my earning potential when you are clearly NOT well informed about my profession Iin Australia.

 

I have no idea where you got that it is okay to talk down about a person's chosen profession. And assume that I'll male little to no money.

 

Are you really too stupid to understand that I don't want to u to.bother posting unless you actually have something factual and helpful to tell me?

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Why don't you two start a business so you can make some real income?

 

 

Who says you have to be low-income?

 

 

Work for yourselves!

 

 

 

His dad what's to help him open a business.

 

I have started a 4 years honors degree in social work. That is my ideal career. I have no interest in quiting my degree thanks to pursuea bbusiness but thanks for trying to give me helpful advice, unlike some morons :lmao: who are too stupid to understand that there is no need to give nasty, negative advice.

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Now I have addressed your questions, can you please follow some very basic instructions and STOP posting here?

 

As for the negative feedback, it is a very simple concept to please not say anything at all about my career choice, my income and my wonderful relation if you are simply going to undermine my choice of career.

 

I am very happy thanks and don't need any further guidance, I think I am great and you relationship is as loving and happy as it gets. He doesn't want kids on a low income. That's all him saying that.

 

Lastly, people really need to start thinking in terms of 2014. Some of the world's nicest people are childless by choice

 

Anyone with half a brain can see that it is very reasonable to want to travel overseas and save animals instead of having kids when I don't have a desire for them.

 

Now, can you please stop posting. I have addressed all the posts. And look up you're facts a out my degree we'd related field before slamming it.

Do_The_Herp Established Member

Do_The_Herp

Posted
Posted

 

Did I miss anything and get this all correct?

 

Why do you care so much?? :s Seems like you've got an incomplete picture there.. Like, her wanting to make it work in spite of his disability, which doesn't make him as a person any less desirable or lovable for her. The therapy is mainly for dealing with the disability and it's limitations.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
No... In read just fine and there are plenty of others who also read exactly what I did. She went from have problems, to no problems, to she should dump him, back to keeping him because he is giving up kids for her (even though she states he said he can't live with himself if he doesn't have kids).

 

It's also not common place for me to run into people who refer to someone they are courting and care about as "low income". I'm willing to bet you are going to refer to your GF or the next person you date as "low income" to their face either.

 

 

 

No. Plenty of others didn't take a dig at my career choice and assume I would make little to no income. Get your facts right, for starters.

 

Also, I have repeatedly explained that my bf and I are very happy and very much in love and therfore there is no need for you to make further unwanted and u necessary comments.

 

Lastly: plenty of people here agreed that it IS understandable of me to have concerns in dating a man with a disability.

 

He is not obviously disabled and and it is not a bad situation, he just forgets things more than most people but it is no big deal.

 

I have asked you to stop postin, are you too dense to understand a simple request? I am very happy with my bf thanks, there is no further need for you add unhelpful comments.

 

 

Cheers. If you don't stop writing negative crap about my relationship I will have to ask the mods to lock this.

 

Please stop making comments, thanks.

Edited by Leigh 87
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted

I feel for the bf. I think if he knew how he was being referred to on here by his gf he would not be best please.

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I feel for the bf. I think if he knew how he was being referred to on here by his gf he would not be best please.

 

 

 

For the millionth time, can u please stop commenting?

 

We have a wonderful relationship and there is nothing ffurther to say on the matter.

 

my boyfriend knows how i feel and he understands that I have a legitimate reason to be concerned.

 

Obviously I have decided that he is wonderful and a great choice in spite of his disability.

 

I make him very happy so there is no need to feel sorry for him. He's extremely happy with me.

 

i am NOT ASKING for further advice or comments, the situation is under control.

Iguanna Established Member

Iguanna

Posted
Posted (edited)
I asked you to not bother posting if you have nnothing useful to say?

 

I have a very happy life thanks there is no need for you to make rude comments re my earning potential when you are clearly NOT well informed about my profession Iin Australia.

 

I have no idea where you got that it is okay to talk down about a person's chosen profession. And assume that I'll male little to no money.

 

Are you really too stupid to understand that I don't want to u to.bother posting unless you actually have something factual and helpful to tell me?

 

I never referred to the money you make nor the life you live. I was replying to a poster who summed up this thread.

 

Edit: when you make a thread you have to accept that some posters will disagree with you, especially when you change opinions every 5 minutes. You can't ask from people who disagree with you to stop talking. That's insane and weird.

Edited by Iguanna
Tiggerluvr3275 New Member

Tiggerluvr3275

Posted
Posted
I want to travel overseas in most of my yearly breaks.

 

I want botox. once a year.

 

I want to house homeless dogs in my yard.

 

80K as a joint income will not be enough for all of that plus kids.

 

I don't even want kids to be honest. With the right guy I would consider it, when I first fell in love with my boyfriend I thought about having his children.....

 

It was a happy thought until I realise I would have to give up ALL my dreams just to have kids.

 

 

This is it, exactly. The "I wants". Not a single "we want". The issue here is not your boyfriend having a disability, it is the fact that you want different things, and that is ok.

 

 

Let him go, now. That way he has a chance to be happy.

  • Like 2
Spectre Established Member

Spectre

Posted
Posted (edited)
Let this guy go. You're way too concerned with material goods (Botox? Really? You've planned a lifetime of it in advance?) and keeping up, or surpassing, the Joneses:

 

"

I feel low. My girlfriend met a guy who is crazy about her and she is super smitten with him. He earns 70K a year and she is about to enter into 50K plus work.

....Sorry but I am not happy about a life where my friend and her partner will get to travel the world AND have kids, when hypothetically my bf and I would be stuck at home with kids, never able to leave the country due to his lo income.

 

"

 

Life isn't fair. Life wasn't fair to your boyfriend at all, and he certainly doesn't deserve you to top it off. Finish school and see how you do alone; see if you really pull in the money you project for yourself. OR, move to the states, where it would be pretty damn easy to raise kids on 80K a year.

 

Your boyfriend will be fine after the breakup; that memory problem will serve him well.

 

I have to agree here, it is disturbing that she apparently is placing such a degree of importance on being able to have botox injections.

 

I feel sympathy for her situation, but it also kind of bugs me to see her saying things like "there are plenty of other guys who will also fall in love with me and also let me do botox and traveling!" etc. I don't know, that just rubs me the wrong way.

 

To the OP, I am not looking to judge you, but honestly? Let this guy go. You are placing yearly botox treatments on a pedestal that seems more important to you then him. I'd be heartbroken to see my girlfriend saying things like that. So, you need to go find a guy who will give you all the botox and traveling you want, I guess? Like I said, not trying to be negative, but let this guy go.

Edited by Spectre
  • Like 1
Spectre Established Member

Spectre

Posted
Posted
For the millionth time, can u please stop commenting?

 

We have a wonderful relationship and there is nothing ffurther to say on the matter.

 

my boyfriend knows how i feel and he understands that I have a legitimate reason to be concerned.

 

Obviously I have decided that he is wonderful and a great choice in spite of his disability.

 

I make him very happy so there is no need to feel sorry for him. He's extremely happy with me.

 

i am NOT ASKING for further advice or comments, the situation is under control.

 

I'm sorry, but it just sounds like you are talking about a pet more then a human being here.

  • Like 2
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...