Fix Saggy Boobs?

[gaius]

You're still young enough that if you shed some weight the skin will probably firm up a bit.

[Babolat]

I get more and more worried about how much perkiness I lack, especially as I know this is something guys care a lot about.

 

Care a lot about? Nope, care about, yeah.

 

When the ex gf first told me she had implants she quickly said "I had it done for me, not a man". She was engaged at the time. About 30 minutes later she said she had them done a 2nd time, because her fiance wanted them bigger, and what the heck, "he paid for the 2nd surgery".

 

I agree with all of those here who say if men are talking negative to you about your breasts, wrong man. If they are not gobbling them up and loving them as is, wrong man.

[Babolat]

The amount of complaints I've gotten about my boobs is unreal.

 

 

Too big.

 

 

Too small.

 

 

Right one's a bit bigger.

 

 

"You should get implants"

 

 

Nipples are too/not enough (insert anything here)

 

 

Light stretch marks on sides thanks to puberty.

 

 

Not perky enough because they're DD's

 

 

Feel too firm, feels fake.

 

 

I had an ex call me "ugly boob bitch" once.

 

 

 

 

^^^Those are ALL things that men have said to me about my breasts.

 

 

OP - I say just accept what you've got and be with a man who accepts them too. Some men can be cruel about breasts, but someone will love yours.

Phoe, seriously, where do you meet these men! I can't image a woman talking about things with my body that did not like.

[verhrzn]

You're still young enough that if you shed some weight the skin will probably firm up a bit.

 

... I'm 29, and losing weight actually makes the sag worse.

 

Care a lot about? Nope, care about, yeah.

 

When the ex gf first told me she had implants she quickly said "I had it done for me, not a man". She was engaged at the time. About 30 minutes later she said she had them done a 2nd time, because her fiance wanted them bigger, and what the heck, "he paid for the 2nd surgery".

 

I agree with all of those here who say if men are talking negative to you about your breasts, wrong man. If they are not gobbling them up and loving them as is, wrong man.

 

Maybe it does just comes down to there is no right man if you're the type of girl guys don't like.

[Babolat]

Maybe it does just comes down to there is no right man if you're the type of girl guys don't like.

Back to my, confidence, comment.

 

Seems there is more going on here than saggy breasts.

[verhrzn]

Back to my, confidence, comment.

 

Seems there is more going on here than saggy breasts.

 

O the whole idea that "confidence" is what does it is such BS. I've been plenty confident and still had the huge majority of guys find me ugly. Go ahead and read my online profile, not a drop of insecurity anywhere. I'm told I come across very confident in it, and yet guys still never messaged me.

 

Now I buy that lack of confidence will prevent you from getting a relationship. But I can't attract guys to begin with, and guys leave once they see me as less than my best. So, no, not buying the whole "confidence" thing.

[Ruby Slippers]

I would bet a month's pay that given a choice, nearly all men prefer shapely breasts.

Yeah, no ****. And I bet a year's pay that most women would prefer a 6'4" Olympic swimmer's bod guy who will sit on the commode and talk to her while she takes a bubble bath. Doesn't mean the average guy that most women will end up with should remove himself from society because he's not the ideal.

 

verhrzn, I see you're still struggling with the same body and image issues as before - and I get it, because like most women, I've had those struggles myself, and still sometimes have to deal with them.

 

You have to rise above all the cultural bull**** we're all swimming in. This entire consumer machine around us is designed to make us feel like crap, not good enough, so we are compelled to spend all our money to make ourselves feel better about it. And all these empty guys picking women apart on Girls Gone Wild or whatever time-waster they're focusing on - instead of doing anything of value for themselves or society - are losers.

 

You have certain ideas about yourself that come from somewhere, and you are spending your time seeking out validation of those ideas.

 

I suggest that you stop focusing on the things you're afraid of, the things that make you feel like you're not good enough, and focus on what's going right, what you do like about yourself, the ways in which you are valued.

 

You mentioned your current guy - do you feel that he doesn't appreciate your breasts?

[Babolat]

O the whole idea that "confidence" is what does it is such BS. I've been plenty confident and still had the huge majority of guys find me ugly. Go ahead and read my online profile, not a drop of insecurity anywhere. I'm told I come across very confident in it, and yet guys still never messaged me.

 

Now I buy that lack of confidence will prevent you from getting a relationship. But I can't attract guys to begin with, and guys leave once they see me as less than my best. So, no, not buying the whole "confidence" thing.

 

I have never seen your online profile, nor have I met you. I'm going off your words, here.

 

What Ruby says, is kind of sort of what I am saying.

[verhrzn]

verhrzn, I see you're still struggling with the same body and image issues as before - and I get it, because like most women, I've had those struggles myself, and still sometimes have to deal with them.

 

You have to rise above all the cultural bull**** we're all swimming in. This entire consumer machine around us is designed to make us feel like crap, not good enough, so we are compelled to spend all our money to make ourselves feel better about it. And all these empty guys picking women apart on Girls Gone Wild or whatever time-waster they're focusing on - instead of doing anything of value for themselves or society - are losers.

 

You have certain ideas about yourself that come from somewhere, and you are spending your time seeking out validation of those ideas.

 

I suggest that you stop focusing on the things you're afraid of, the things that make you feel like you're not good enough, and focus on what's going right, what you do like about yourself, the ways in which you are valued.

 

You mentioned your current guy - do you feel that he doesn't appreciate your breasts?

 

I just feel that however much I value and think is right about myself is kind of pointless. I mean, I'm not the one I have to convince to date, ya know? I can look at myself and be like "Man I'm awesome, I'd date me!" but it really doesn't matter if no one else agrees with me. Kind of like how I can have a favorite food, but if everybody else in the world thinks the food is gross, no one is going to come to a dinner party where I serve just that food.

 

I have no idea if my guy appreciates my breasts. I really love him, but I fear sometimes his affection and love for me is built out of desperation/habit, and that he buries any thoughts of me that aren't perfect.

 

When we were temporarily broken up, he posted some stuff on a forum under a thread about what's attractive to him and what type he likes. I fit his type in some ways, but there were lots of other things he liked/preferred that I don't have. I look nothing like the girls he prefers in porn.

 

I always wanted to be someone's ideal, and maybe I just have to accept that with my looks, I'm always going to be the "girl who I like enough to settle for, who I'm happy enough with even though I have this other fantasy/ideal." I guess that's more realistic, but it's still depressing.

[Ruby Slippers]

I always wanted to be someone's ideal, and maybe I just have to accept that with my looks, I'm always going to be the "girl who I like enough to settle for, who I'm happy enough with even though I have this other fantasy/ideal." I guess that's more realistic, but it's still depressing.

I'm not content feeling settled for, either.

 

And sometimes I think I'm never going to meet the right guy, because it hasn't happened yet.

 

But one thing I've learned is that though I'm not every guy's cup of tea, those guys who like me REALLY like me. That small subset of guys see something magical in me that hooks them hard. In spite of my many imperfections.

 

I always attract the most admirers when I fall in love with my own life and pursue the things that make me happy and fulfill me the most. I read this somewhere recently: "The degree to which you cherish yourself is the degree to which you will be cherished." It has always been true for me in my life. And conversely, when I was down on myself, all I attracted were weirdos and losers who re-affirmed those negative feelings.

[MidwestUSA]

I think the dude in the black sleeveless shirt in your pic, is checking out your girls!

 

We got a kitten a year ago, and my husband made sure my boobs were covered in bed. How was I to know that damn thing would try to nurse? Those teeth are SHARP!

[Babolat]

When we were temporarily broken up, he posted some stuff on a forum under a thread about what's attractive to him and what type he likes. I fit his type in some ways, but there were lots of other things he liked/preferred that I don't have. I look nothing like the girls he prefers in porn.

I don't know your history. But, why, why are you dating a man who looks at porn and posts his "likes" online?

 

My ex was built like a porn story. Her ex, pretty much, made her that way. Guess what? He cheated on her, multiple times. Guess what, else? She is 44, 4 failed engagments, who knows how many failed LTRs (add one for me). She can literally walk into any bar and probably hand pick any man she wanted that night. So her body, her breasts, all that stuff, she still has issues so much deeper than that that make her unattractive.

 

Stop worrying about your breasts and if your man likes them, or not. Stop worrying if you are "his type". You cannot control these things. Take care of you, and you will attract good men. Ruby said this well and I could not agree more. My ex had so many redeeming qualities. Unfortuiantely she is such a mess she will continue falling into the same kinds of relationships and probably always wonder "Why?". Next on her list was permanent hair extensions...really?

[verhrzn]

I don't know your history. But, why, why are you dating a man who looks at porn and posts his "likes" online?

 

My ex was built like a porn story. Her ex, pretty much, made her that way. Guess what? He cheated on her, multiple times. Guess what, else? She is 44, 4 failed engagments, who knows how many failed LTRs (add one for me). She can literally walk into any bar and probably hand pick any man she wanted that night. So her body, her breasts, all that stuff, she still has issues so much deeper than that that make her unattractive.

 

Stop worrying about your breasts and if your man likes them, or not. Stop worrying if you are "his type". You cannot control these things. Take care of you, and you will attract good men. Ruby said this well and I could not agree more. My ex had so many redeeming qualities. Unfortuiantely she is such a mess she will continue falling into the same kinds of relationships and probably always wonder "Why?". Next on her list was permanent hair extensions...really?

 

Okay I find your comments kind of bizarre. You seem rather judgmental about your ex, but in your other comments that I've read, a girl being hot is also extremely important to you. So you say have confidence, but it seems like confidence isn't even enough for you. So you require more. Which means confidence is not enough.

 

Furthermore, I already said that I know looks aren't enough to have a perfect relationship. But switch around your ex's attributes.... make all of her emotional problems physical, but her personality perfection. You probably wouldn't have dated her. Her exes wouldn't have dated her. So sure, she wouldn't have gotten used.... she would have gotten ignored.

 

It kinda seems like putting women into a double-bind. You have to be X hot, and then you better have an amazing personality on top of it, not effected at all by the baggage of guys insisting you have plastic surgery to be with them. It kind of seems like a gal isn't allowed to be flawed at all unless she's flawed in the "right" ways.

[Babolat]

Okay I find your comments kind of bizarre. You seem rather judgmental about your ex, but in your other comments that I've read, a girl being hot is also extremely important to you. So you say have confidence, but it seems like confidence isn't even enough for you. So you require more. Which means confidence is not enough.

 

Furthermore, I already said that I know looks aren't enough to have a perfect relationship. But switch around your ex's attributes.... make all of her emotional problems physical, but her personality perfection. You probably wouldn't have dated her. Her exes wouldn't have dated her. So sure, she wouldn't have gotten used.... she would have gotten ignored.

 

It kinda seems like putting women into a double-bind. You have to be X hot, and then you better have an amazing personality on top of it, not effected at all by the baggage of guys insisting you have plastic surgery to be with them. It kind of seems like a gal isn't allowed to be flawed at all unless she's flawed in the "right" ways.

 

My intent is not to judge my ex; rather to use her as an example of where having it all physically, still does not "help" her.

 

A girl being "hot" is not extremely important to me. I have been told many many times, looks wise, I don't match the woman I date. Yes, my ex gf was hot; she was probably, the exception.

 

If I posted a pic of my ex gf and my FWB from this past fall, I think ever man on here would say "Really?". If I posted a pic of my ex wife, same thing. I might hear "Oh, she is cute" but not "Oh, she is Hot".

 

Confidence is a major turn on for me. It's not the sole, turn on, for me though. I find it very attractive. And I will add, my ex had major self esteem issues. She had daily panic attacks sometimes. She was afraid to leave her apartment sometimes. She simply chose not to expose all of this to me, every day. She chose not to dwell on it and talk about it, all the time.

 

And, her personality was already amazing. "On paper" she had the total package most guys want. Not really following your switch around theory. And I did not, use her.

 

I was travelling for work recently and in a meeting where one of my clients attorneys was an average, simple looking woman, probably early 30s. If I passed her in the street I doubt I would give her a 2nd look. When she spoke though, her confidence, the way she carried herself, that was HOT. And physically she became more attractive to me.

 

I never found Sarah Silverman HOT until I saw her do a stand up routine on HBO last weekend. Something about the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, her confidence, was very HOT and the more i watched the more I found her attractive. .

 

The confidence part never made sense to me until I tried to date the woman I described earlier; the one who constantly talked negative about herself. And it was more than physical negative talk. Her house was too small, her car was too old, she did not make enough money, why wasn't she married already, she did not talk enough, was too quiet...these are things she would tell me all the time.

 

My ex gf had it worse than this girl but she didn't talk about it all the time.

 

ALL I am suggesting is, if you are doing this in any way shape or form, try to stop. This is a best guess, but I am guessing you may be saying something negative to these men, maybe without even knowing it because you are so use to talking about it. Something like "Do you like my breasts?" Or "I think my breasts are too saggy". Or "I don't like this or that about myself". Yeah, said once or twice, not a big deal. Said all the time, becomes unattractive. Again, this is a guess, not judging you.

Edited April 16, 2014 by Babolat

[Babolat]

It kinda seems like putting women into a double-bind. You have to be X hot, and then you better have an amazing personality on top of it, not effected at all by the baggage of guys insisting you have plastic surgery to be with them. It kind of seems like a gal isn't allowed to be flawed at all unless she's flawed in the "right" ways.

 

Agree, to disagree.

 

I forgot to mention another woman I tried to date 2+ years ago before I met my ex gf, had major confidence issues too. And on paper she had it all. She was a personal trainer, a spinning instructor, she was from Greece, had that sexy accent, had an amazing body, great personaility, she was super smart, spoke 5 languages, had money, seemed stable and secure.....but same thing, too much negative talk. And, I forgot about this until I just re-read your reply. Her ex, the man before me, made her get implants, made her get a tramp stamp and made her get his name tatooed on her implants. He also beat her, too, and guess what, he also cheated on her.

Edited April 16, 2014 by Babolat

[Phoe]

Phoe, seriously, where do you meet these men! I can't image a woman talking about things with my body that did not like.

 

Met them all here in Southern California... idk if this is something that's typical for 20 somethings out here, but it has been pretty common for me.

 

 

My most recent boyfriend, he's the only man who has ever been kind about my breasts. Always thrilled to see them. Made me very happy and comfortable to show them to him.

[tlegend]

Met them all here in Southern California... idk if this is something that's typical for 20 somethings out here, but it has been pretty common for me.

 

 

My most recent boyfriend, he's the only man who has ever been kind about my breasts. Always thrilled to see them. Made me very happy and comfortable to show them to him.

 

I...am amazed that this is commonplace.

 

I will ALWAYS be happy to see breasts. Large, small, non-existent, and too big. If it's a breast, I will attest!

[Candy_Pants]

I keep hearing that pregnancy boobs are big AND perky

Mine sure are!! It's awesome!!

 

I'm not sure what's going to happen afterwards though :/. Maybe I'll just never stop breastfeeding .

[Koopa]

saggy boobs are fun

especially in doggy and cowgirl when you get the rhythm right,

they start spinning around in circles like a Chinook helicpter

[MidwestUSA]

Mine sure are!! It's awesome!!

 

I'm not sure what's going to happen afterwards though :/. Maybe I'll just never stop breastfeeding .

 

 

 

You're gonna get a lot of funny looks when you're at the mall with an 18 year old latched onto you!

[Ruby Slippers]

One of my older sisters used to get mad about the fact that I had boobs and she didn't. She truly seemed deeply envious - which I never got, because she's a flat-chested but very pretty girl who was always swamped with attention about her beauty. Being swamped with attention for your boobs is not quite the same thing

[Candy_Pants]

You're gonna get a lot of funny looks when you're at the mall with an 18 year old latched onto you!

 

Who said it'd be my child doing the feeding ?!

[VeronicaRoss]

Wow, men aren't that much of a bunch of losers!

 

Let me guess you have physical preferences in men, maybe even talk about them out loud about with friends, but would never be a deal breaker if you fell in love. Huge dick? Blue eyes? Really -- you feel like a soul mate but good-bye? Same for guys.

 

Yeah there are people that shallow so let them find and make one another miserable, especially as they age!

 

My advice is wait until you're engaged and then talk about surgery with your future husband if you're still interested. Reduction surgery runs the strong risk you will lose all or some sensation in your nips and surgery always has weird risks so you want to be sure. And you will always have anchor scars so they won't ever look like the ones in pics. So wait until you're in a long-term relationship with a guy who doesn't base his love for you on them. It's a decision you both will have to live with.

[Ruby Slippers]

Who said it'd be my child doing the feeding ?!

Now you're getting very kinky

[Candy_Pants]

Now you're getting very kinky

 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander .