Fix Saggy Boobs?

[somedude81]

Um... this is not reassuring. It just means you were having these thoughts and just didn't voice them. That just undermines the idea that guys are totally into their ladies' boobs because hey, otherwise wouldn't the guy say something? That just makes me think guys are thinking even meaner things when they see me naked...

Does it still matter if the guy doesn't say anything?

 

I know my body isn't perfect and I'm sure my ex thought that was well, but as long as she had sound enough judgement not to say anything, then I didn't care. I certainly wasn't going to ask if there was anything she didn't like.

 

Why not just pretend that your partner is completely into you? Insecurity isn't sexy.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My boobs are large but very average otherwise. Even the biggest of d*cks loved them. I am sure you have nothing to worry about.

[NoMoreJerks]

My boobs are too big, so they are naturally not very perky, but they are not saggy like old grammas' boobs. I did feel anxiety over this at one point, but not as much anymore.. it is a big annoyance, though, because I can't get to go bra-less or wear certain types of clothes/dresses.

[somedude81]

My boobs are too big, so they are naturally not very perky, but they are not saggy like old grammas' boobs. I did feel anxiety over this at one point, but not as much anymore.. it is a big annoyance, though, because I can't get to go bra-less or wear certain types of clothes/dresses.

There is no such thing as boobs being too big.

 

Any guy who says that your boobs are too big isn't worth your time and should be dumped. Find a guy who truly enjoys you.

[NoMoreJerks]

There is no such thing as boobs being too big.

 

Any guy who says that your boobs are too big isn't worth your time and should be dumped. Find a guy who truly enjoys you.

Yes, I know. I meant, too big to go braless / wear strapless dresses, open back dresses, etc.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I was obsessing over this few years back and even went to consult a plastic surgeon. He told me that if I want to keep my current size and just get a lift, the skin will stretch back to what it is now in around 2 years. He said that unless I want a breast reduction, lift will have no point in my case, unless I am happy to have surgery every 2 years. Basically, I can't expect them to be as perky as A-B cups with my size.

 

I didn't want my boobs reduced (I looked at some post reduction photos and the shape was awful, I would hate it). Guys also seemed to give me constant compliments - the ones that saw me without the bra too. So I just stopped thinking about it

[Els]

V, large breasts are not going to keep the 'perfect shape' outside a bra. It simply isn't physically possible. The only large breasts in this world that do that, are surgically enhanced. Silicone behaves differently from adipose cells.

 

It's just a normal, unavoidable tradeoff. If you're large, they will be heavier and there will be some sagging. If they're small, they will be more perky. If they're perky AND large - they're definitely fake.

 

If you keep your weight stable and healthy, and care for the skin around your breasts, you're doing all you can already. I can't see any decent guy having a problem with that.

[Els]

 

But it isn't the media. It's average guys. Guys who are supposedly normal and average, like me, but have these expectations of huge, perky boobs. I mean, are there really any men left in my age group who doesn't think this way? It doesn't seem so...

 

How successful have these guys actually been in holding down LTRs? IMO you're focusing on only a certain subset of guys. That's like a guy observing a few female barmates drool over a muscly man and concluding that all women would never be okay with an 'average' guy. False premises.

[Candy_Pants]

Since we're talking about OUR boobs now.

 

Pregnancy boobs > all other boobs

[Eternal Sunshine]

Since we're talking about OUR boobs now.

 

Pregnancy boobs > all other boobs

 

I keep hearing that pregnancy boobs are big AND perky

[Robert Z]

How successful have these guys actually been in holding down LTRs? IMO you're focusing on only a certain subset of guys. That's like a guy observing a few female barmates drool over a muscly man and concluding that all women would never be okay with an 'average' guy. False premises.

 

Men may not choose a mate based on the shape of a woman's breasts. But the idea that men who like shapely breasts have some sort of problem is absurd. I would bet a month's pay that given a choice, nearly all men prefer shapely breasts.

 

This place... Reductio ad absurdum

Edited April 16, 2014 by Robert Z

[Robert Z]

When my ex's boobs started dropping like rocks I didn't stop loving her. But it was disheartening. And I think she could have helped to reduce the effects of age. But she came from the bra burning generation and took pride in not taking care of herself. That and she was too lazy and selfish to put in the effort.

Edited April 16, 2014 by Robert Z

[martaldn]

Fellow ladies, do any of you experience anxiety around the sagginess of your boobs? I'm in my late 20's, and as the years pass, I get more and more worried about how much perkiness I lack, especially as I know this is something guys care a lot about.

 

Anybody got any tips that's helped them? Or do you just have to sigh and accept your bad looks?

 

no, if you are not happy you should do something about it. Its not the end of the world and definitively there are things you can do to make them look better.

I have never had this kind of problem and I am 35 but I do a lot of chest exercises at the gym - ... I know ageing is not easy to accept for us and I have myself many concerned about the way my body looks too so i perfectly understand you.

[verhrzn]

Does it still matter if the guy doesn't say anything?

 

I know my body isn't perfect and I'm sure my ex thought that was well, but as long as she had sound enough judgement not to say anything, then I didn't care. I certainly wasn't going to ask if there was anything she didn't like.

 

Why not just pretend that your partner is completely into you? Insecurity isn't sexy.

 

Because pretending has ended up with me being in relationships with guys who dump me after they've found someone they actually want to date. Pretending means the guy isn't completely into me. Call me crazy, but I'd rather have a guy that didn't nick-pit my naked body, even inside his head. I would rather have a guy who was, ya know, into me, not just keeping his mouth shut about all the stuff he'd want to change.

[Els]

Men may not choose a mate based on the shape of a woman's breasts. But the idea that men who like shapely breasts have some sort of problem is absurd. I would bet a month's pay that given a choice, nearly all men prefer shapely breasts.

 

This place... Reductio ad absurdum

 

You completely missed the point of my post. There's nothing 'wrong' with the women who drool over muscled dudes either.

 

Doesn't change the fact that most people in happy LTRs don't require their partner to look like the picture of surgical perfection. And doesn't change the fact that the abovementioned women don't represent all women.

[somedude81]

Because pretending has ended up with me being in relationships with guys who dump me after they've found someone they actually want to date. Pretending means the guy isn't completely into me. Call me crazy, but I'd rather have a guy that didn't nick-pit my naked body, even inside his head. I would rather have a guy who was, ya know, into me, not just keeping his mouth shut about all the stuff he'd want to change.

I really doubt you're ever going to find a man who is completely in to you 100% and thinks your body is perfect. Nobody will.

 

In the grand scheme of things, my ex's nipples were insignificant no matter how much of a breast man I am. I would never leave somebody because of something like that.

 

A man who left you because he found somebody he really wanted to date, had many more issues with you than a few physical "flaws."

[verhrzn]

I really doubt you're ever going to find a man who is completely in to you 100% and thinks your body is perfect. Nobody will.

 

In the grand scheme of things, my ex's nipples were insignificant no matter how much of a breast man I am. I would never leave somebody because of something like that.

 

A man who left you because he found somebody he really wanted to date, had many more issues with you than a few physical "flaws."

 

I disagree. I am completely into my current guy. If he has imperfections, I frankly just don't notice them. I suppose he isn't the absolute perfect specimen, but I just don't notice.

 

You say it wasn't enough for you to leave her, but you stilled noticed. I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for a guy who doesn't notice my perfections, where he's picking me apart in his head.

[Els]

Because pretending has ended up with me being in relationships with guys who dump me after they've found someone they actually want to date. Pretending means the guy isn't completely into me. Call me crazy, but I'd rather have a guy that didn't nick-pit my naked body, even inside his head. I would rather have a guy who was, ya know, into me, not just keeping his mouth shut about all the stuff he'd want to change.

 

 

Give (some) guys more credit than this, V. Think about all the guys you've been with. Can you honestly, objectively say that they are 100% physically perfect? Did it matter that they weren't? Did it make you love them less or want to leave them, just because they weren't perfect?

 

Someone can objectively acknowledge physical imperfection (which is the case for all humans naturally) while still truly being into you.

 

Edit: Ah, okay, just read your most recent post. IMO if you are worried about someone 'not being completely into you', you would be better off observing their actions rather than nitpicking yourself inside your head. If they are putting effort into the relationship, to do things for you that make you happy without expecting anything in return, chances are they are into you. And if they aren't putting effort into the relationship, I doubt surgically-enhanced boobs would convince them to, or at least not for the long term.

Edited April 16, 2014 by Elswyth

[verhrzn]

Give (some) guys more credit than this, V. Think about all the guys you've been with. Can you honestly, objectively say that they are 100% physically perfect? Did it matter that they weren't? Did it make you love them less or want to leave them, just because they weren't perfect?

 

Someone can objectively acknowledge physical imperfection (which is the case for all humans naturally) while still truly being into you.

 

I truthfully just didn't notice. Like I don't think the guys were Adonises on Earth, but when I was dating them, it was kind of like I was just blind to any physical flaws. Like looking back, I'll think "Hmm that ex was rather pudgy" or "Ugh a blonde?!" but when in the relationship, these things never occurred to me.

 

Honestly, if I notice the imperfections in my partner, it probably means I'm not that into them. Again, why would I want to be with a guy who is picking apart my naked body in his head? Blech.

[verhrzn]

Edit: Ah, okay, just read your most recent post. IMO if you are worried about someone 'not being completely into you', you would be better off observing their actions rather than nitpicking yourself inside your head. If they are putting effort into the relationship, to do things for you that make you happy without expecting anything in return, chances are they are into you. And if they aren't putting effort into the relationship, I doubt surgically-enhanced boobs would convince them to, or at least not for the long term.

 

Sadly, also not true. My exes all seemed to be putting in effort and doing things to make me happy and it seemed turned out they didn't really like me. I was just apparently really good at manipulating them into feeling guilty (without me realizing it.)

 

For example, with my very first boyfriend freshman year, I remember I'd been saving a piece of pumpkin pie (my favorite) as a weekend treat. My roommate, not realizing it, threw the pie away. I told my then-boyfriend, just in passing, and when he was next out shopping, he stopped by the restaurant and got me another slice. I thought this was incredibly sweet.

 

... Except he did this in the midst of complaining about me behind my back to other friends, about how I was needy/annoying/ugly and how he wished he could get rid of me. It turns out he never really wanted to date me that much, and had wanted to break up with me from the start, but was apparently too big a coward, so dated me for 8 months.

 

I no longer take things in relationships at face value. I've been caught off-guard too many times by situations where the guy seemed to be into me (after all, he's dating me right?) only to discover afterwards how little he liked me.

[Babolat]

I was obsessing over this few years back and even went to consult a plastic surgeon. He told me that if I want to keep my current size and just get a lift, the skin will stretch back to what it is now in around 2 years. He said that unless I want a breast reduction, lift will have no point in my case, unless I am happy to have surgery every 2 years. Basically, I can't expect them to be as perky as A-B cups with my size.

 

I didn't want my boobs reduced (I looked at some post reduction photos and the shape was awful, I would hate it). Guys also seemed to give me constant compliments - the ones that saw me without the bra too. So I just stopped thinking about it

 

I think the dude in the black sleeveless shirt in your pic, is checking out your girls!

[Els]

Sadly, also not true. My exes all seemed to be putting in effort and doing things to make me happy and it seemed turned out they didn't really like me. I was just apparently really good at manipulating them into feeling guilty (without me realizing it.)

 

For example, with my very first boyfriend freshman year, I remember I'd been saving a piece of pumpkin pie (my favorite) as a weekend treat. My roommate, not realizing it, threw the pie away. I told my then-boyfriend, just in passing, and when he was next out shopping, he stopped by the restaurant and got me another slice. I thought this was incredibly sweet.

 

... Except he did this in the midst of complaining about me behind my back to other friends, about how I was needy/annoying/ugly and how he wished he could get rid of me. It turns out he never really wanted to date me that much, and had wanted to break up with me from the start, but was apparently too big a coward, so dated me for 8 months.

 

I no longer take things in relationships at face value. I've been caught off-guard too many times by situations where the guy seemed to be into me (after all, he's dating me right?) only to discover afterwards how little he liked me.

 

Hmm. In that case, why do you assume that the problem that caused them to be 'not so into you' was your physical imperfection? Rather than something else - for instance, you mentioned guilt tripping? Or problems of their own?

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that being physically perfect or near-perfect is a poor guarantee that a man will truly love you - look at all the broken marriages amongst celebs. Obviously, there is no perfect yardstick, but I think that if you look at their investment over a long-term basis, you will get better at ascertaining how they truly feel about you.

[verhrzn]

Hmm. In that case, why do you assume that the problem that caused them to be 'not so into you' was your physical imperfection? Rather than something else - for instance, you mentioned guilt tripping? Or problems of their own?

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that being physically perfect or near-perfect is a poor guarantee that a man will truly love you - look at all the broken marriages amongst celebs. Obviously, there is no perfect yardstick, but I think that if you look at their investment over a long-term basis, you will get better at ascertaining how they truly feel about you.

 

Well I didn't guilt trip on purpose! So far as I can tell, there is something about me that makes guys feel guilty, even when I'm not trying, even when I'm explicitly saying X is cool.

 

For example, with another ex, I asked him when we first hanging out what he thought of dating. He said flat out he wasn't interested in a relationship. Okey dokey. So we did the friends with benefits thing. After about two months, I decided I wanted to find an actual relationship, so I sat the guy down and said "Hey it's been fun but I want an actual relationship so we should be just friends, no physical stuff."

 

He says "Oh I thought we were dating."

 

Now, it comes out way after the fact, he wasn't interested in dating. But he said the above because he felt guilty about us hooking up, despite me having no problem with it and stating clearly that hey, it's cool, I'm just gonna go looking elsewhere for a relationship. He told people I forced him to date me!

 

As far as to why I assume it's my looks.... because that's what I've been told. The exes always said flat out they were dating me for my personality, 'despite' my looks. Whatever criticisms of me they had seemed to revolve around how I wasn't hot/cute/attractive enough. My butt is too small, my boobs are too flat, I'm too chubby, I'm not as hot as X friend, etc.

 

And considering that I've never had a single guy hit on me, and I got less than a message a month when I was doing online dating (despite having tons of people read my profile and say they found nothing wrong with it), I don't think assuming it's my looks is that much of a leap.

 

And no, having great looks isn't a guarantee of a perfect relationship, I know. But being ugly is a huge barrier to getting and staying in one, that's for sure.

[Ninjainpajamas]

You have to remember verhrzn, some men are just out there looking to sleep with women, and they tend to be very critical of women because essentially they're not that into you, may not respect you and just comparing for comparing sake because there's an emotional disconnect present and negative attitude towards you because they're just with you for the interim and the sex, and this could go for a compliment or criticism, just because a guy compliments something about you or several men do, doesn't necessarily mean they're that into you...you might just have a great body part or whatever it is objectively to men, and men could flick through pictures of women all day, critiquing or complimenting, at the end of the day they would have forgotten what most of those women looked like.

 

As a woman I wouldn't take that to heart, you shouldn't care too much what they have to say or how they think, trust me, it's not even worth it. In their minds it's not that personal, that sounds crazy but it's not to men because men view women from different perspectives and can objectively criticize something without the sensitivity to realize that they're offending you or if they do realize that their own selfish attitude takes precedence over it, so unless you feel your boobs represent you as a woman, it's just a body part, you shouldn't therefore try to have the best looking tits or what not because even if you had the best tits to their taste, they still wouldn't be into you overall if they weren't before, there's nothing you can do to change that.

 

Women looking for validation from men are fighting a losing battle, they will never feel good about themselves in the end.

 

A guy who really is into you, isn't going to critique you all of the time and put you down. He will like you for who you are, he's not going to be concerned about your faults, they will like the whole package.

 

As far as large breast, I don't expect them to be perky for obvious reasons but I like the large size, it's a welcome trade-off to me. Guys tend to use the word "perky" or "firm" when describing their preferences, they can critique nipple size and density of a woman's breast..but again, this is when they are speaking objectively about a woman's body, comparing them like race horses, let's just say men have an appreciation for these things objectively and ideally, a lot of times their stupidity can get them into hot water by saying things they shouldn't.

 

You should also never take what men say to you at face value, women often read into the wrong things, they assume just because a man is with them they are into them, for all she knows that guy might be rebounding or just desperate, most men don't have the luxury of chasing around the women they idealize in their minds, so they take out their bitterness and resentments on you, making you feel worse about themselves because they're not dating that super model they think they should be dating, all of course without ever looking in the mirror...but that's how people are, they think they deserve and should get what they want without considering what they have to offer or taking a good realistic look in the mirror, feeling entitled to something out of their league.

 

In short, the men you seem to date seem to be the bottom feeders of the dating pool, and that's likely because of your lack of confidence, and men can smell that vulnerability in women and they will exploit it because that's an easy target for them.

 

You have to respect yourself and not allow the kind of behavior you allow from these men, you need to kick them to the curb when they disrespect you, men will push a woman and see what she can take, if she allows herself to be treated like dirt, maybe of these guys will...you set the standard and bar by how you treat yourself, that's when guys get the message and men can detect this often times with just how a woman carries themselves, and guess what? when she's too confident and secure with herself a lot of these guys are deterred, because they know she won't be a doormat an object of verbal/emotional abuse.

[Babolat]

Woman, and their breasts.....where to even start..just go read all of the men and penis size posts I guess...

 

The biggest turn on for me in a woman: confidence.

 

The last woman I tried to date (the one I refer to as my FWB here) had an amazing body, amazing, and she had very small breasts. Would I have preferred larger ones? Yes, but I did not care. I liked her breasts. I liked her whole body. She on the other hand could not stop talking about how small they were and how much she did not like them. It became unattractive, the negative talk about her body. She was skinny to and would call herself a "fatty" sometimes. Ridiculous.

 

My ex gf had amazing DD implants. She never talked about them, nor did I. THAT was attractive. Did I like them? I loved them. A major turn on, with or without clothes. She's an ex though, so they only got us so far.

 

The woman I have been on 4-5 dates with, bigger than average breasts, all natural (she volunteered that the first time I gave them attention!), probably sagging a bit (don't know for sure, only seem them with her laying down). She volunteered she likes them and plans to age gracefully with no implants. Attractive.

 

I will admit, the difference in feel caught me off guard, coming from my exes implants to natural ones.

 

I remember watching Howard Stern one night, many years ago, he was interviewing the Penthouse Pet of the Year. She was stunning (nice perky larger breasts), smart, intelligent, funny. She started crying mid interview when relationship talk came up. She said her bf just dumped her. I thought to myself "how in the hell do you dump her (from a physical POV)", Howard said the same. My point, they are, just breasts.

Edited April 16, 2014 by Babolat