GoreSP Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Hey you said they were racist. You judged. Are you race shaming? Actually I said the fact they didn't date outside their race was racist. Not the person themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Its funny how my thread took a turn to focus on sexual number when it was about preferences. Considering you mentioned sexual past in your first post, it's not surprising. I noticed on a thread that turning down someone because of height, sexual past, etc is a judgment. People like what they like. If they don't like you someone else will. That is not judging. It's just their preference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Considering you mentioned sexual past in your first post, it's not surprising. The context of that OP was examples of things people get turned down for. Comprehension skills here people!!!! Hell even look at the thread title Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Actually I said the fact they didn't date outside their race was racist. Not the person themselves. You saying their actions are racist so that in a way makes them racist. Really you are just saying they are racist. No matter how you rationalize it you said they are racist. When the reality is that is their preference. Hell I'm black and don't have a problem with it. Why the hell you bent out of shape about it? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 i think it becomes judgment instead of preference when you think badly about someone when you dont know them and you say oh that is my preference to "prefer" a relationship with someone similar to me in past relationships ....... judgement is what a slut no way would i date her and a hypocritical judgement would be someone who has dated and bedded many but wants only to date women or men who have had fewer lovers than they have.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 i think it becomes judgment instead of preference when you think badly about someone when you dont know them and you say oh that is my preference to "prefer" a relationship with someone similar to me in past relationships ....... judgement is what a slut no way would i date her and a hypocritical judgement would be someone who has dated and bedded many but wants only to date women or men who have had fewer lovers than they have.....deb Its not necessarily hypocritical but men do have different view on soneone for a casual fling than a woman that would be relationship material Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 You saying their actions are racist so that in a way makes them racist. Really you are just saying they are racist. No matter how you rationalize it you said they are racist. When the reality is that is their preference. Hell I'm black and don't have a problem with it. Why the hell you bent out of shape about it? But they are though. Not being attracted to people of another race, in general, is not judgement. Not wanting to date someone of another race because they're of another race is racist/judgemental. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Its not necessarily hypocritical but men do have different view on soneone for a casual fling than a woman that would be relationship material It *IS* hypocritical. If you hold someone to a certain standard, you need to hold yourself to that standard as well. Otherwise you ARE a hypocrite. There are no two ways about it. Those men, and from what you're saying, I'm assuming you, as well, are hypocrites. Through and through. It might work for them... but it's what they are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Its not necessarily hypocritical but men do have different view on soneone for a casual fling than a woman that would be relationship material i dont understand what you have said can you put it another way Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 i dont understand what you have said can you put it another way What he said (from what I understood, and, by all means, correct me if I'm wrong) was that it is not hypocritical for a guy to have casual sex but to dismiss those horrible sluts he slept with and only want a pure virgin to be his wife! Because NO man wants a relationship with a woman who is free spirited about sex... (or some such nonsense...) Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 What he said (from what I understood, and, by all means, correct me if I'm wrong) was that it is not hypocritical for a guy to have casual sex but to dismiss those horrible sluts he slept with and only want a pure virgin to be his wife! Because NO man wants a relationship with a woman who is free spirited about sex... (or some such nonsense...) No most men are not looking for a pure virgin but they dont want a free spirit for a relationship partner either. Save the over dramatization Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 No most men are not looking for a pure virgin but they dont want a free spirit for a relationship partner either. Save the over dramatization I was being overly dramatic, for effect. Because that's exactly what it sounds like. And like I said, it is definitely hypocritical to not hold yourself to the same standard. Despite whatever you might think. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Oh, it is her right to 'date within her race' but face it: if you don't want to date someone because he/she is of a different race, it is kind of racist... That's what some of us are trying to explain. Everyone has their rights to their preference but you should accept the fact that some preferences exist because of judgement. It isn't racist and just because you date a different race does not mean you aren't racist. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 i dont understand what you have said can you put it another way Men and women categorize members of the opposite sex. Men it women they dont want, casual sex, or potential relationship material. Some men sexual number is criteria to separate casual sex from potential relationship material. It may be hypocritical to women but as humans we all have ideas and beliefs that on some level to the outsider conflicts. A user up here hates porn for depictions of rough sex but in her personal life likes rough sex. Does that make her a hypocrite? For the sake of getting a rise out of her I say yes but the reality is no. We all have different sets of expectations for ourselves and for members of the opposite sex that we desire. Honestly do any of you women hold yourself to the same standard? Some of you on here I think not because if you valued honesty you all would not live in fear of revealing all of you that includes past and present. I'm not afraid to reveal me because I love me and want someone that loves and accepts all of me not just the parts I'm not fearful to reveal. That is what love should be and there are people out here that are willing to accept someone flaws and all, but people are just so desperate that they just do anything for acceptance from the opposite sex. Lying and omitting are not good foundations for a relationship. I'm for honesty and if anyone looked at my post history they would know I am not a numbers guy. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 You saying their actions are racist so that in a way makes them racist. Sure. Whatever you say. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 It's amazing how aggressively people react when you call them out on their not so socially acceptable behaviors. Here's an idea. Don't like it when you are looked at a racist? Don't be racist or have racist opinions. Now you can change racist with any other 'preference' you people have. Learn that whoever is in front of you is a human being with feelings an emotions. World of difference. Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Oh, it is her right to 'date within her race' but face it: if you don't want to date someone because he/she is of a different race, it is kind of racist... That's what some of us are trying to explain. Everyone has their rights to their preference but you should accept the fact that some preferences exist because of judgement. Not true. Maybe some people just aren't attracted to the physical attributes of many black men or Asian women or Nordic women or whatever. You can find many reasons someone wouldn't want to date a certain race that have nothing to do with racism. For me, I just would not be compatible with most black me or Latino men for that matter. It has to do with my personality. Even further, I have decided I wouldn't date Italian men anymore. I have had two bad experiences with Italian men being extremely old-fashioned about "their women" and being incredibly chauvinistic and demeaning. Often there is a logical or at least reasonably explainable method behind someone's preference. I just haven't found one for rejecting a person due to high number of sexual partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Not true. Maybe some people just aren't attracted to the physical attributes of many black men or Asian women or Nordic women or whatever. You can find many reasons someone wouldn't want to date a certain race that have nothing to do with racism. For me, I just would not be compatible with most black me or Latino men for that matter. It has to do with my personality. Even further, I have decided I wouldn't date Italian men anymore. I have had two bad experiences with Italian men being extremely old-fashioned about "their women" and being incredibly chauvinistic and demeaning. Often there is a logical or at least reasonably explainable method behind someone's preference. I just haven't found one for rejecting a person due to high number of sexual partners. You havent found one because you are not a man lol. Its funny the energy devoted to getting men to not ask for your history. Its like the nice guys wanting women to want them and using all the energy to sell them on here. We all want what we want accept it and move on Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Not true. Maybe some people just aren't attracted to the physical attributes of many black men or Asian women or Nordic women or whatever. You can find many reasons someone wouldn't want to date a certain race that have nothing to do with racism. For me, I just would not be compatible with most black me or Latino men for that matter. It has to do with my personality. Even further, I have decided I wouldn't date Italian men anymore. I have had two bad experiences with Italian men being extremely old-fashioned about "their women" and being incredibly chauvinistic and demeaning. Often there is a logical or at least reasonably explainable method behind someone's preference. I just haven't found one for rejecting a person due to high number of sexual partners. FFS. There is a difference between saying 'I am not attracted to this person because there is just no attraction' and I am not attracted to this person because he is black/white/asian/etc' If the hat doesn't fit, you don't have to wear it. The thing with preferences such as 'I don't want to date Italian men because they are old-fashioned about "their women" and being incredibly chauvinistic and demeaning' is that if one day, you meet an Italian man who turns out isn't old-fashioned about "their women" and being incredibly chauvinistic and demeaning at all, you wouldn't turn him away just because he is Italian. This is where the preference starts and judgement ends because you are recognizing the person for who he/she is rather than for what he/she is. Same goes with race, body type height, sexual past, etc etc etc etc and I stand by my point : not wanting to date someone because he/she is of another race is racist (not saying the person is racist but this action certainly is.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 You havent found one because you are not a man lol. Its funny the energy devoted to getting men to not ask for your history. Its like the nice guys wanting women to want them and using all the energy to sell them on here. We all want what we want accept it and move on I don't have to date you. Do whatever you want. You just need to admit that it's either you're incredibly insecure and afraid you won't measure up, or you're a controlling, psycho-obsessive whack job who wants to be his girlfriend's "one and only." If a girl is STILL sleeping around a lot or cheating, you would know that. Sexual partner number is not an accurate predictor of future behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 I don't have to date you. Do whatever you want. You just need to admit that it's either you're incredibly insecure and afraid you won't measure up, or you're a controlling, psycho-obsessive whack job who wants to be his girlfriend's "one and only." If a girl is STILL sleeping around a lot or cheating, you would know that. Sexual partner number is not an accurate predictor of future behavior. I would suggest you look at my post history. Im not a numbers guy. Im big on honesty. Im speaking in general. You women on here miss the point where i was in love with someone known as the Wal Mart whore. If i was that insecure i wouldnt have wanted to be with her. It sounds like you women have the issues and the fear of rejection if men knew you. If this wasnt true all of you wouldnt be the past is the past. Pasts matter they created the person you are in the present. If you have to hide then you feel shame Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 I would suggest you look at my post history. Im not a numbers guy. Im big on honesty. Im speaking in general. You women on here miss the point where i was in love with someone known as the Wal Mart whore. If i was that insecure i wouldnt have wanted to be with her. It sounds like you women have the issues and the fear of rejection if men knew you. If this wasnt true all of you wouldnt be the past is the past. Pasts matter they created the person you are in the present. If you have to hide then you feel shame I don't have to hide. First of all, I'm engaged. So the only person's opinion I care about is my fiance's. I have a feeling he is "reasonably experienced," but he is loyal to a fault and treats me wonderfully, so I never feel a need to know exactly how many people he slept with. I assume he feels the same, because he never felt a need to ask me how many people I've been with. Yes, pasts create who we are now, but what matters is today. Is the woman you are interested in loyal? Faithful? Would she be a good wife/mother? The number of people she slept with in the past doesn't tell you that. Have I made decisions in my past that I'm not particularly proud of? Yes. Do I regret them? No. None of it. Because without those experiences, I wouldn't have been able to recognize real love in my current fiance. My point is that there are women who slept around a LOT for whatever reason who have matured and grown into very honest, loving, faithful and respectable women. And then there are others who may never stop sleeping around. Further, there are cheaters with all sorts of pasts - low numbers or high numbers. It's not an accurate indicator of future behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Flora94 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Well I have my preference and I will not marry a man that's not a virgin. I'm a virgin girl waiting till marriage. What gets me irritated is certain people I've encountered that's trying to force me into their the past is in the past, only that matter is they're with you now. I find this very rude and judgmental towards my preference and at the same time my main important quality I'm seeking. I think preferences become judgments when you're not even representing the quality you're looking for in your partner, esp a quality that both men and women can possess (gender neutral that is). Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Well I have my preference and I will not marry a man that's not a virgin. I'm a virgin girl waiting till marriage. What gets me irritated is certain people I've encountered that's trying to force me into their the past is in the past, only that matter is they're with you now. I find this very rude and judgmental towards my preference and at the same time my main important quality I'm seeking. I think preferences become judgments when you're not even representing the quality you're looking for in your partner, esp a quality that both men and women can possess (gender neutral that is). If you are also a virgin, I think it's reasonable to expect the same in your partner. My issue is mostly men who've slept with God knows how many women who expect a woman to have only been with one or two people in their life. Good for you for waiting, by the way. I sort of wish I had. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 My point is that there are women who slept around a LOT for whatever reason who have matured and grown into very honest, loving, faithful and respectable women. And then there are others who may never stop sleeping around. Further, there are cheaters with all sorts of pasts - low numbers or high numbers. It's not an accurate indicator of future behavior. Why the attempt to sell me on the idea that it's not an indicator of future behavior? Men have the stories of the woman that slept round got in a relationship and cheated. I mean you can sell these men( notice it doesn't include me) on studies or whatever you can think of but it doesn't take away from those stories. My other thing is if you are one to hide something what else are you willing to hide. I mean you all say the past is the past. How would I know if you have a history of cheating if the past is the past? or even that you had worked in the sex industry? Men have no indicators. Anybody can play the role and be whatever you need to be to get what you desire. Let's be honest here even if a woman cheated OM follow orders better than a OW so a faithful man would never know. It's not like any of you women would be honest about cheating why because the past is the past and you live in terror of being judged for past actions. Actions have consequences and if you are going to judge then you have to be judged too. I have a past and not ashamed to admit it or will make great campaign monologues to sell that my past shouldn't be considered. Hell I want to know if you accept me. If you can't accept me then you are not worthy to be in my life. I love me and am not willing to accept anything just for the sake of being in a relationship. It's sad how you LS women are. :(:( Link to post Share on other sites
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