Cannot believe what I have done. Should of listened! [updates]

[Michael 93]

Many people swear by NC and yeah I can see that this helped me quite a bit....

 

But a lot of people have said, keep away from any discussion of the relationship and just be yourself. Keep it short and sweet and don't put any pressure on it..

 

I just feel as though, the fact she is still contacting me obviously stands for something? If she is using me.... what does she intend on gaining from it?

 

Its like one minute I know she misses me and she likes being with me, and the next she dosent want to know..

[Michael 93]

Having been in the same situation, let me tell you how this story ends. Pick the one that you want:

 

 

1) You continue to be a doormat for her and provide her emotional support while the other man has her attention and is providing the sexual part. Sooner or later she will just let you know and you're back to square one.

 

 

2) You tell her to pound sand and wish her nothing but the best with new guy. Doesn't sound like it's long for the world with him either, once their relationship finally collapses she will be calling you like crazy and then YOU can decide what you want.

 

 

(I know, I've taken both roads with different girls - #2 feels much better)

 

@johnson_j

 

I am going to take option #2. I've done it before and I really good, felt as though I gained my power back..I started to move on and it felt so good..

 

BY doing that does that mean no contact at all? Or then have I got no chance of her contacting me again? What makes you think she will come back when it goes **** up...?

 

Thanks for your input

[FredJones80]

Its like one minute I know she misses me and she likes being with me, and the next she dosent want to know..

 

No offence but you need to take a step back and have a reality check.

 

She is with someone else NOT you. If she wanted to be with you she wouldn't be with someone else.

 

Have some self respect, ignore her, let her come crawling when the other relationship messes up. Then as others have said, you can decide if you want her back.

 

There is nothing left to do here, move on.

[johnson_j]

Many people swear by NC and yeah I can see that this helped me quite a bit....

 

But a lot of people have said, keep away from any discussion of the relationship and just be yourself. Keep it short and sweet and don't put any pressure on it..

 

I just feel as though, the fact she is still contacting me obviously stands for something? If she is using me.... what does she intend on gaining from it?

 

Its like one minute I know she misses me and she likes being with me, and the next she dosent want to know..

 

 

Let me break it down for you man, I am in the EXACT same boat right now. It's tough, I'd honestly rather eat nails then have to do what I know I have to do, which is follow #2 in my previous post.

 

 

Look, it sucks. You just have to trust your intuition that a) she is into you, and b) that he's just a temporary thing. Why should she get you on the side? Aren't you better than this schmo?

 

 

I know which path I'm taking and I have suspicions what the outcome will be, but I know I won't be a god**** doormat.

[johnson_j]

@johnson_j

 

I am going to take option #2. I've done it before and I really good, felt as though I gained my power back..I started to move on and it felt so good..

 

BY doing that does that mean no contact at all? Or then have I got no chance of her contacting me again? What makes you think she will come back when it goes **** up...?

 

Thanks for your input

 

 

 

She will come back into your life when it goes south. But we don't know what kind of involvement she will want, or what kind of involvement you will want from her.

Let me tell you a story - I went through this back in 2007. Beautiful girl we had it all, she ran back into the ex's arms because she couldn't let him go. Broke my heart and after 3 months of being there emotionally for her I had it, and wished her the best moved on. Everything got better for me once I made that choice.

Some months later, after she had finally gotten past him, she reached out to me. I didn't take her back but you can bet we had some great s** and we are still friends to this day, she actually called me last week reaching out.

 

 

So keep Low contact, let HER reach out to you.

[Michael 93]

I was planning on doing that anyway man..

 

Your right, Having both is rather selfish of her. I did explain that and said to her do you not consider my feelings at all?

 

That's the thing, I really do trust my intuition. If i didn't I wouldn't be in this boat..

 

I'm not going to be a backup when he doesn't satisfy her..Im basically allowing her to ween herself off me

 

I just want to leave myself in the best possible position. And by just point blank ignoring her is not the way to do that, Next time she contacts I'm going to explain that it isn't fair on me to remain in contact and that I wish her the best with him.. I'm not crazily hooked on this girl anymore and I'm being honest here, I'm just trying to explain the situation I am in and how to handle it.

 

Ill explain I will be here when/if she is single but whilst she is involved with someone I refuse to stand in the way of there relatonship and I will intend to move on with my life.

 

I think thats the way to go.

 

I appreciate all of your opinions by the way. Thank you

[johnson_j]

I was planning on doing that anyway man..

 

Your right, Having both is rather selfish of her. I did explain that and said to her do you not consider my feelings at all?

 

That's the thing, I really do trust my intuition. If i didn't I wouldn't be in this boat..

 

I'm not going to be a backup when he doesn't satisfy her..Im basically allowing her to ween herself off me

 

I just want to leave myself in the best possible position. And by just point blank ignoring her is not the way to do that, Next time she contacts I'm going to explain that it isn't fair on me to remain in contact and that I wish her the best with him.. I'm not crazily hooked on this girl anymore and I'm being honest here, I'm just trying to explain the situation I am in and how to handle it.

 

Ill explain I will be here when/if she is single but whilst she is involved with someone I refuse to stand in the way of there relatonship and I will intend to move on with my life.

 

I think thats the way to go.

 

I appreciate all of your opinions by the way. Thank you

 

 

NO, NO, and NO.

 

 

Don't say anything of the sort. When she contacts you keep it light, don't mention relationship or anything, just keep banter light. "Hi, how was your weekend?" If she asks you out just be "busy" that night. No reason to be rude or short about it. You'll come out looking much better and confident. If you explain that you "wont be there emotionally while she has another man" you look weak and non-confident.

[Michael 93]

She will come back into your life when it goes south. But we don't know what kind of involvement she will want, or what kind of involvement you will want from her.

Let me tell you a story - I went through this back in 2007. Beautiful girl we had it all, she ran back into the ex's arms because she couldn't let him go. Broke my heart and after 3 months of being there emotionally for her I had it, and wished her the best moved on. Everything got better for me once I made that choice.

Some months later, after she had finally gotten past him, she reached out to me. I didn't take her back but you can bet we had some great s** and we are still friends to this day, she actually called me last week reaching out.

 

 

So keep Low contact, let HER reach out to you.

 

 

 

Thanks man...

 

Good to know someone else understands the situation. exactly. shes said that herself, by just speaking casually and seeing each other occasionally that will be the best way for us to reconcile. Whether or not that is fact I don't know. But Like you said just take it steady and chill get on with my life..

 

Its whether to cut contact completely or remain on Low Contact and keep small talk when she reaches out.

 

Man I envy you lol.

 

She reached out lol? What are you waiting for? Hotel booked ?

 

I appreciate your support though seriously. Thank you.

Such a difficult position. Feel a bit confused at the moment.

[Michael 93]

NO, NO, and NO.

 

 

Don't say anything of the sort. When she contacts you keep it light, don't mention relationship or anything, just keep banter light. "Hi, how was your weekend?" If she asks you out just be "busy" that night. No reason to be rude or short about it. You'll come out looking much better and confident. If you explain that you "wont be there emotionally while she has another man" you look weak and non-confident.

 

Yeah I was thinking maybe taking the light route..

 

 

Nothing about previous or current relationship.. Just take it easy.

 

To be honest she has asked that every time we have spoke. She said she has wanted to see me and organize doing something but every time we talk on the phone I end up pushing it.

 

She has to be staying around for something right?? I just know the way she talks & her body language around me..

[johnson_j]

YES - take it light, don't bring up any feelings, him, anything that creates division. Be the happy go lucky guy she fell for the first time. She will see the new, stronger you and WORST case you wind up being better off.

 

 

You can still initiate contact from time to time, but keep it light like "Hello how are you? Have a nice day"

 

 

As for me, the girl I would have killed for at a time and broke my heart has told me multiple times I can have her anytime, and yes she had a BF some of the times we were hooking up. I'm glad it didn't work out with her.

 

 

Current girl is in the exact same boat and I know which road works and that's the one I am taking.

[Chi townD]

Why the hell are even entertaining light contact with her? What good is that going to do you? You're only giving her an ego boost and using you as an emotional doormat.

 

 

So, what do you do if she calls or sends you a text? Simple, IGNORE IT!

 

 

Stop and think about a few things we know about her.

 

 

1. Ended it with you and immediate jumped in with the new guy (to which, she was probably cheating on you before she gave you the boot).

 

 

2. Takes Valentines day off to spend with new guy.

 

 

3. post pics of them together out and in bed just weeks after ending it with you KNOWING you can see it.

 

 

4. Berates and Belittles you telling you to move on, she doesn't love you anymore.

 

 

5. Gets angry at you and slaps the sh*t out of you.

 

 

6. You call her up to apparently apologize for putting her in a situation where she slap the sh*t out of you and she tells you that she can't talk right now. Because she was in the middle of having sex when she decided to take your call.

 

 

7. She decides to call you back after her little sex session and the dude left and she had time to shower up. THEN, you get a call. Nice.

 

 

8. Now, you two are talking and having lunch where she takes a call from her BOYFRIEND and you have to sit there and listen to her make plans for a romantic getaway weekend for the two of them. Let me ask. Did she say she loved him at the end of their conversation? After re-reading this list, wouldn't surprise me if she did. What's one more twist of the knife!

 

 

So, yeah! I can see where you want to play your cards close to the chest with this one and keep Light Contact. She's a real keeper there!!!

[FredJones80]

So, yeah! I can see where you want to play your cards close to the chest with this one and keep Light Contact. She's a real keeper there!!!

 

Harsh but true, had to be said.

 

Whoever said "love is blind" was correct

[Chi townD]

Harsh but true, had to be said.

 

Whoever said "love is blind" was correct

 

 

Me? Harsh? Hey, I'm just putting what she did and is still doing to him in bullet format. Which one of us is being harsh here? Me or her?

[Chris2014]

I am in a similar position to you mate.I was with a girl n we moved into a new home together, i lost my job and she ended it, i ended up homeless and unemployed.I gave everything to her and still she seemed to blame me for everything going wrong, which in part is true but i was going through a really tough time.Id just try your best not to look at facebook etc because i made this mistake and it just annoys you even more, seeing a girl u spent so much time with out with her pals having fun while your sitting about thinking about what could have happened.She going to blame you because she doesnt want to feel responsible for the break, itll make her feel better if it was your fault and not hers.I found myself saying sorry for things that i shouldnt have been saying sorry for.Buying her things, taking her out, doing anything you can to try and show her you are the person that she fell in love with at the start.But in my experience she broke up with you for a reason, and this is going to be in the front of her mind.That was my ex's problem, she always spoke about the tough times and never mentioned the great times we had together.We were actually trying for a kid at the start and i gave up smoking weed which killed me in withdrawals, the whole reason i stopped was because we were trying for a kid and too move into a new house, she said id changed and wasnt the same person she fell in love with, which was true to some extent but this was due to withdrawals not because i was acting different.Lifes cruel mate and ive been through loads in the last 6 month.I regret everything i done for her but if the girl doesnt want to be with you then you cant persuade her.Youve just got too show her your having fun and not dwelling on her, you think shes thinking of you while shes out partying with friends?? let her be and dont beat yourself up, i know its hard, i still do it because i still love her.Just take care of yourself, as long as your physically and mentally well then i guarantee youll find someone else, itll be hard right now but think positive.Do you really want to be with a girl who slags you off n dismisses everything u done for her?? save it for someone else that deserves its mate.Take it easy

[FredJones80]

Me? Harsh? Hey, I'm just putting what she did and is still doing to him in bullet format. Which one of us is being harsh here? Me or her?

 

I mean the situation is harsh, what you said was totally correct... it is still harsh for him to read though.

[Itspointless]

Michael, do you really want a girl who is not fighting for you? Do you think she will be there for you when you need her? I think you know the answers. If you ask me then I would say that I think her mind is obsessed with only one thing, herself. She cant give you what she wants because she does not want to give you that.

[Fearful]

Michael, I think your major problem is you are having Zero self worth. This girl treated you like a scum yet you can't move on. She is keeping you as a back up yet, you are comfortable with that. A real man wouldn't keep her as a friend not to talk of lover. Keep beging, propose marriage, married her and have another man fathered her children. I think that is the direction you want to take. If you don't love your self. Who will? If your loose your self in love you will definately loose the love. It is not about her, it is all about you. You have lost your manhood and no any other woman will love manless man. Love your self for self love is better than self pity. Never waste your feelings on people who don't value you. All you need right now is self Identification and value definition. Then do as Chitown said: comlete NC, if she call don't answer, if she message you don't reply. But I know you will continue contact with her becaus you are setting your self up to be cuckold. Good luck.

[Michael 93]

I have taken all opinions on board.

 

There is no such thing as too harsh. If it needs to be said then it needs to..

 

I really do appreciate all of your views and id like to say thank you.

 

Its an extremely difficult situation, and while it should be pretty clear how I should handle this It is still so god damn hard..

 

She is dangling the carrot for me, but I just keep seeming to follow my instinct.

 

Its er birthday today and It has definitely been a bad day for me..

 

Should be me taking her out and treating her but its not ...

 

God knows what I'm going to do when she contacts.

[Michael 93]

@lauri

 

Could I get your insight please Lauri?

 

thank you

[lauri]

I have taken all opinions on board.

 

There is no such thing as too harsh. If it needs to be said then it needs to..

 

I really do appreciate all of your views and id like to say thank you.

 

Its an extremely difficult situation, and while it should be pretty clear how I should handle this It is still so god damn hard..

 

She is dangling the carrot for me, but I just keep seeming to follow my instinct.

 

Its er birthday today and It has definitely been a bad day for me..

 

Should be me taking her out and treating her but its not ...

 

God knows what I'm going to do when she contacts.

 

I'm going to tell you a few things you aren't going to like right now.

 

First off, you need to realize your relationship with this girl is over forever. She made the choice to leave you for someone else - did things to hurt you and loved stringing you along. This girl is not loyal, and I've said to many people before, loyalty is everything to me and it should be to you as well.

 

The more you talk to her, the more you push her away and the more pain you are in. This girl does not deserve you at all - she left you for things which don't even matter in the long wrong. All that matters is how you handle yourself and regain your self respect moving forward.

 

Why do you want to provide her with an ego boost and make her have this image of you as some guy who is too weak, pathetic and unable to move on? That is exactly how you appear to her - she thinks that you are going to sit around and mope over her, because she is the next best thing since slice bread and you will always run back to her. Well, as far as I'm concerned, she is wrong and its up to you to show her.

 

I'll tell you what you are going to do when she contacts you next time. You are going ignore her. If you see her on the street, you're going to ignore her. If she shows up at your front door, you will shut it in her face.

 

This girl just wants to know you will be there for her...remember she is still banging another guy instead of being with you. Be thankful this girl is with someone else - you'll realize it one day but this girl is not worth it.

[Simon Phoenix]

Just noticed this thread. Holy crap what a car crash. Dude, STOP TALKING TO YOUR EX! Honestly, her attraction for you is in the negative numbers because you are too weak and spineless. You have become the friendzone orbiter guy. She isn't attracted to you, she doesn't respect you, she doesn't consider you to be a functional man at this point. Why? Because you are a doormat and you have no self-control. There's no motivation for her to ever come back to you because she can have you in any way she wants. She can hit you and you will be there, she can insult you and you will be there, I mean, why would she give you what you want when you are too spineless to do anything for yourself?

 

The other day a friend and I were at the bar at happy hour talking about one of his friends from high school. Like you, this friend is a complete weak-willed wuss when it comes to his ex-girlfriend. Every time she gives him even a sliver of attention he's there like a pathetic, helpless, abused pet. She gets what she wants from him at that time, then tells him off, then contacts him later, and he always thinks that this time will be the "time". My friend and I discuss it and come to the conclusion that this guy will never get to where he wants to be because she doesn't respect him at all.

 

As we are discussing this, a pretty attractive blonde a couple seats down interjects because, in her words, she found our perspective on this whole thing "fascinating". I asked her if she agreed with everything that we were saying and she said that everything we were saying was 100 percent correct. She talked about exes, and guys who were interested in her that she just wanted to be "friends" with. She said that guys that were into her to the point where she knew she could make him drop everything he was doing had no shot. She would talk to them sometimes out of pity, but there's nothing attractive about what they were doing (and what you've been doing with your ex for months). And wouldn't you know, at the end of the conversation she gave me her number (a bit of a humblebrag, but the fact that I was an assertive confident man instead of an emoting, flaccid spaz like you -- and my buddy's friend -- are being was a big reason she showed interest).

 

I mean, this was directly from the source -- your approach to this whole breakup is completely moronic and you are just shooting yourself in the foot every time. I mean, for months you have been given great advice and for months you have ignored it like a moron because you keep "following your instincts." Well, I think it's pretty clear that your instincts are awful. Some of the worst ever. I realize I'm being harsh, but you are one of the worst cases of denial/delusion/despair that I've seen on here. Everything that's going wrong for you at this point is your doing. Stop hurting yourself.

[FredJones80]

Just noticed this thread. Holy crap what a car crash. Dude, STOP TALKING TO YOUR EX! Honestly, her attraction for you is in the negative numbers because you are too weak and spineless. You have become the friendzone orbiter guy. She isn't attracted to you, she doesn't respect you, she doesn't consider you to be a functional man at this point. Why? Because you are a doormat and you have no self-control. There's no motivation for her to ever come back to you because she can have you in any way she wants. She can hit you and you will be there, she can insult you and you will be there, I mean, why would she give you what you want when you are too spineless to do anything for yourself?

 

The other day a friend and I were at the bar at happy hour talking about one of his friends from high school. Like you, this friend is a complete weak-willed wuss when it comes to his ex-girlfriend. Every time she gives him even a sliver of attention he's there like a pathetic, helpless, abused pet. She gets what she wants from him at that time, then tells him off, then contacts him later, and he always thinks that this time will be the "time". My friend and I discuss it and come to the conclusion that this guy will never get to where he wants to be because she doesn't respect him at all.

 

As we are discussing this, a pretty attractive blonde a couple seats down interjects because, in her words, she found our perspective on this whole thing "fascinating". I asked her if she agreed with everything that we were saying and she said that everything we were saying was 100 percent correct. She talked about exes, and guys who were interested in her that she just wanted to be "friends" with. She said that guys that were into her to the point where she knew she could make him drop everything he was doing had no shot. She would talk to them sometimes out of pity, but there's nothing attractive about what they were doing (and what you've been doing with your ex for months). And wouldn't you know, at the end of the conversation she gave me her number (a bit of a humblebrag, but the fact that I was an assertive confident man instead of an emoting, flaccid spaz like you -- and my buddy's friend -- are being was a big reason she showed interest).

 

I mean, this was directly from the source -- your approach to this whole breakup is completely moronic and you are just shooting yourself in the foot every time. I mean, for months you have been given great advice and for months you have ignored it like a moron because you keep "following your instincts." Well, I think it's pretty clear that your instincts are awful. Some of the worst ever. I realize I'm being harsh, but you are one of the worst cases of denial/delusion/despair that I've seen on here. Everything that's going wrong for you at this point is your doing. Stop hurting yourself.

 

Glad you sugar coated it

[Simon Phoenix]

Glad you sugar coated it

 

I don't sugarcoat in general, but after 2.5 months of doing the same ridiculous stuff there's no way in hell he's getting treated with kid gloves.

[Chi townD]

Just noticed this thread. Holy crap what a car crash. Dude, STOP TALKING TO YOUR EX! Honestly, her attraction for you is in the negative numbers because you are too weak and spineless. You have become the friendzone orbiter guy. She isn't attracted to you, she doesn't respect you, she doesn't consider you to be a functional man at this point. Why? Because you are a doormat and you have no self-control. There's no motivation for her to ever come back to you because she can have you in any way she wants. She can hit you and you will be there, she can insult you and you will be there, I mean, why would she give you what you want when you are too spineless to do anything for yourself?

 

The other day a friend and I were at the bar at happy hour talking about one of his friends from high school. Like you, this friend is a complete weak-willed wuss when it comes to his ex-girlfriend. Every time she gives him even a sliver of attention he's there like a pathetic, helpless, abused pet. She gets what she wants from him at that time, then tells him off, then contacts him later, and he always thinks that this time will be the "time". My friend and I discuss it and come to the conclusion that this guy will never get to where he wants to be because she doesn't respect him at all.

 

As we are discussing this, a pretty attractive blonde a couple seats down interjects because, in her words, she found our perspective on this whole thing "fascinating". I asked her if she agreed with everything that we were saying and she said that everything we were saying was 100 percent correct. She talked about exes, and guys who were interested in her that she just wanted to be "friends" with. She said that guys that were into her to the point where she knew she could make him drop everything he was doing had no shot. She would talk to them sometimes out of pity, but there's nothing attractive about what they were doing (and what you've been doing with your ex for months). And wouldn't you know, at the end of the conversation she gave me her number (a bit of a humblebrag, but the fact that I was an assertive confident man instead of an emoting, flaccid spaz like you -- and my buddy's friend -- are being was a big reason she showed interest).

 

I mean, this was directly from the source -- your approach to this whole breakup is completely moronic and you are just shooting yourself in the foot every time. I mean, for months you have been given great advice and for months you have ignored it like a moron because you keep "following your instincts." Well, I think it's pretty clear that your instincts are awful. Some of the worst ever. I realize I'm being harsh, but you are one of the worst cases of denial/delusion/despair that I've seen on here. Everything that's going wrong for you at this point is your doing. Stop hurting yourself.

 

 

 

 

Simon is late to the party again. But, he makes his presence known!!

 

 

He is harsh, but he's right!

 

 

Michael, I'm telling you, there's a girl out there and she's everything that you could ever hope for in a girl. And she'll stand by your side and completely blow your Ex out of the water. She'll know how to treat her man right.

 

 

One thing my father once told me is that if you treat the right girl with kindness, love and respect; then, she's going to give that back to you plus a hell of a lot more.

 

 

Let me run a scenario by you to explain that. Let's say you guys got hit by a massive snow storm. You make your way over to your girls house and you start shoveling her drive way. You're out there for hours removing snow and when you're done, your girl helps you into the house, she draws you a bath and helps you out of your frozen and wet clothes. She gets you into a warm bath and brings you a hot drink. You soak for a while and when you're done she brings you some warm clothes and you can smell that she started to cook you some prime rib. Your favorite meal. That's a girl that knows how to treat her man. And all you did was a simple gesture to make her life a little easier.

 

 

If you did that for your Ex, your Ex would probably come out there and thank you because now her boyfriend can pull his car up in the drive! Oh, and you need to leave because he's on his way.

 

 

Trust me when I say this, that girl is out there. And she's waiting for you to find her. You're never going to do that if you're hung up on a girl that treats you like sh*t.

Edited May 1, 2014 by Chi townD

[drallafi]

Hi All,

 

Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. She initiated the split. Since then she has found someone else.

We remained in contact for pretty much most of the time since the break up.

 

 

The thing that I require advice on is just how to deal with the hot/cold treatment, mixed messages. Me and my ex were very much in love had a great relationship she still tells me to this day she has never felt the same way about anyone else.

 

I was pretty much surviving on hope, the break up destroyed me and I found it incredibly hard to let go. But after weeks and weeks of trying and pleading my love for her I eventually did, I initiated NC and explained to her my reasons for doing so, in a short text explaining I wish her the best but its time for me to finally let her go. I blocked her number and eventually started to move on with my life.

 

 

Around 2 weeks later a letter comes to my house addressed to her, I opened it and it was a parking ticket. I decided to give her a call and ask what she wanted me to do with it.. She was shocked to hear from me and asked if she could come and pick it up. She come to my house and we ended up talking for like an hour. She told me how she still misses me, thinks about me. And how this new guy is a total idiot and horrible to her, hardly shows her any love/appreciation and isn't a patch on me. We spoke about our relationship and how she missed certain things and she then began to tell me how hurt she was when I cut off contact and that shes overheard me on conversations to colleagues saying I didn't want to see her and it hit her hard.

 

She explained she has tried to cut it off with this guy but has never been able to fully see it out because he makes things awkward. We agreed we would talk and she would message/see me from time to time..

 

I went to work over in her office yesterday. We had agreed to lunch as it is her birthday tomorrow and I wanted to pass on a card. As we were out she was on the phone to this new guy planning her birthday weekend and where they were going to be going. It really stung me to hear this and as soon as the phone was down she asked are you ok? Are you sure your ok? She explained he hardly ever phones her at all and that it was just strictly to arrange there plans. She loved the card and gave me a big hug saying she would call me on the night after gym.

 

She did that and we had a long conversation, I explained my feelings and basically told her how much she still means to me.. She just kept saying I wish things was different and I cant do anything right now. Just chill out and stop pressuring things and go with the flow. I've told you I will see you and talk to you.. I asked what she wanted out of this and why she still wants to speak.

 

She explained that she couldn't disregard me as she has never had a relationship like the one we had. Shes never been able to get along and talk to anyone the same, and that she was head over heels for me, and that I make her happy..

 

Her feelings with this new guy seems to be hot and cold. but what shes told me about the way he acts he is a total idiot.

 

She has agreed we will stay in contact and I don't plan on contacting her first. I do still want to be with this girl. and I'm not really sure how to go about it. I plan on giving it space now.

 

But what if she contacts me?

 

And to think, you could have been 4 months into the healing process by now...

 

Anyway, to regurgitate the advice you've ignored time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time again...

 

Go NC.