Ask bf to return engagement ring because I didn't like the ring.

[RowanRavyn]

Good Luck Marisa.

[Marisa]

Hi again,

 

My fiance and I have tried to go shopping for an engagement ring this past weekend. Every jewlerry store we went in, we walked out of with no success in finding me a ring.

 

I am a petite women with small hands so my preference and I do agree with my fiance is to choose a smaller diamond ring. I prefer a .28 ct diamond. I tried one on and it was perfect! I loved it. My fiance was by my side in the store and kept saying aloud" that's too big on you!" over and over. I was embarassed. The ring was not too big. It looked nice and it made me happy. When the salesman heard this, he thought maybe my fiance was not able to afford the ring. He said money is not the problem, the size of the diamond is too big on you!

 

So do you see what I am up against now. I don't know any couples who are engaged who fight about this sort of thing. The ring was reasonably priced and I am so tired of it all.

 

The ISSUE with him is that the HE WANTS me to wear a small diamond. Even when I found a ring at another store that costs less and the diamond was alittle bigger, he refused to buy it for me! because the diamond was bigger!! and he wants me to wear a small diamond!

 

Any one understand this logic???

 

Are there men out there who think that way? and why? I found him lots of rings that were way cheaper but every ring he picked out from the store was small. He wants me to have a .21 diamond vs a .28 that I wanted.

Difference in price $500.

 

I just need to know what to do at this point. It seems he doesn't want to make me happy and by controlling what I end up with is the only way around it.

 

Could someone please help...

 

At the end of all this, I think I am really going to reconsider even getting engaged with this man. I don't think he has it in him to make me happy. With this ring thing... he has proved to me that he won't go to great lengths to try to make me happy just sad.

 

 

By the way, I found in my finance's pocket the work phone number, cell number , email address of a girl my finace used to know. I have never met her. I asked him who she was because I wasn't sure and then he said it was the girl I used to work with. The girl asked my finance out for dinner and drinks and he said he hasn't yet called her back..... I don't know what to think. Why would someone who isn't interested in my finance ask him out for dinner! These french girls mind you are very aggressive and my fiance isn't.

 

I am worried now. I am scared she will try to do something with him.... I am miles away from him and I have trusted him up to now.

 

I would appreciate anyones advice on either issue here as I am mentally exhausted.

 

Marisa

[binturong]

Marisa, in no way, shape, or form is 0.28 carats EVER going to be too big. I don't care how small your hands are. I have small hands too, but like I said earlier, the channel set diamonds in my band are bigger than that...and that's numerous diamonds. Have you talked to your fiance about whether or not he truly wants to be engaged to you? My husband said he wanted my ring to scream out to the world that I'm taken and if I hadn't put a limit on the size of the diamond, he would have gotten something that would look ridiculously gaudy on me. Just come straight out and ask him why he's fighting with you over this. Ask him if he wants to get married. If it leads to a fight, so be it. It sounds like you two really need to clear things up. As for this other girl...if your fiance hasn't called her back and told her he was engaged, much less in a relationship, he's considering cheating. JMO, of course, but I don't think anybody who is truly faithful would put themselves in a situation like that.

[FolderWife]

Whatever my husband buys me, no matter HOW small, I love it, because HE gave it to me.

 

In my opinion, your best choice would've been to keep the ring, and when you pick out your WEDDING rings, chose one that you really like. Then, in a couple of years, save up the money to buy a ROCK for yourself. Wear your wedding band, your engagement ring, and your ROCK on the same finger.

 

And then you can walk around like some rich person.

 

My story:

 

I wanted a diamond tennis bracelet. My birthday is the end of November. My husband called me two days before my birthday, and said he had bought my birthday present. I wanted to know what it was, and he said, "I'll give you one hint....I bought a warranty with it."

 

I knew right away that it would be jewelry, and since I wanted a tennis bracelet so badly, I thought for SURE that is what he bought me.

 

I arrived home, and he eagerly gave me my present (couldn't wait til my birthday) I opened it, and was SO DISAPPOINTED to find a beautiful pair of diamond earrings... half a carat apeice.

 

Normally, I would've loved something so thoughtful *(I wanted diamond earrings when we were dating, but REFUSED to let anyone buy them FOR me...so this was really really thoughtful, that he remembered that detail)* but since I was expecting a bracelet, I was disappointed. I didn't tell him that I was disappointed though.

 

Later, he told me that he wanted ME to pick out my tennis bracelet, so I could have exactly what I wanted. He thought the earrings would be a nice addition to what I picked out.

 

Now, I wear the earrings EVERY DAY, and I wear the bracelet once in a while. Earrings are more practical.

 

I love the earrings more, because my husband put thought and love into them. I couldn't care less about the bracelet. I love it, but if I had to chose between my bracelet and my earrings, I'd chose my earrings in a second! They have sentamental value.

 

I would almost bet that if you really loved your man, you'd have loved that little ring, and in a couple of years when you bought the ring you wanted, you wouldn't love it as much.

 

Good grief, if you're that embarassed by the size of the diamond, get a cubic zarconia one. They are only like $99, and they LOOK just like the real thing. I found one on Ebay that looked EXACTLY like my ring.

 

My boobs are fake, but Everyone thinks they're real unless I tell them, so get you a big fake rock, and no one will be the wiser, you'll have saved a fortune, and your boyfriend won't be humiliated that he can't provide what you need to make you happy.

[jellybean]

Originally posted by Monday

Whatever my husband buys me, no matter HOW small, I love it, because HE gave it to me.

 

In my opinion, your best choice would've been to keep the ring, and when you pick out your WEDDING rings, chose one that you really like. Then, in a couple of years, save up the money to buy a ROCK for yourself. Wear your wedding band, your engagement ring, and your ROCK on the same finger.

 

And then you can walk around like some rich person.

 

My story:

 

I wanted a diamond tennis bracelet. My birthday is the end of November. My husband called me two days before my birthday, and said he had bought my birthday present. I wanted to know what it was, and he said, "I'll give you one hint....I bought a warranty with it."

 

I knew right away that it would be jewelry, and since I wanted a tennis bracelet so badly, I thought for SURE that is what he bought me.

 

I arrived home, and he eagerly gave me my present (couldn't wait til my birthday) I opened it, and was SO DISAPPOINTED to find a beautiful pair of diamond earrings... half a carat apeice.

 

Normally, I would've loved something so thoughtful *(I wanted diamond earrings when we were dating, but REFUSED to let anyone buy them FOR me...so this was really really thoughtful, that he remembered that detail)* but since I was expecting a bracelet, I was disappointed. I didn't tell him that I was disappointed though.

 

Later, he told me that he wanted ME to pick out my tennis bracelet, so I could have exactly what I wanted. He thought the earrings would be a nice addition to what I picked out.

 

Now, I wear the earrings EVERY DAY, and I wear the bracelet once in a while. Earrings are more practical.

 

I love the earrings more, because my husband put thought and love into them. I couldn't care less about the bracelet. I love it, but if I had to chose between my bracelet and my earrings, I'd chose my earrings in a second! They have sentamental value.

 

I would almost bet that if you really loved your man, you'd have loved that little ring, and in a couple of years when you bought the ring you wanted, you wouldn't love it as much.

 

Good grief, if you're that embarassed by the size of the diamond, get a cubic zarconia one. They are only like $99, and they LOOK just like the real thing. I found one on Ebay that looked EXACTLY like my ring.

 

My boobs are fake, but Everyone thinks they're real unless I tell them, so get you a big fake rock, and no one will be the wiser, you'll have saved a fortune, and your boyfriend won't be humiliated that he can't provide what you need to make you happy.

 

No no no - wrong! you are missing the entire point, Monday.

 

He doesn't give a sh*t what Marisa wants. Go back and read this thread in it's entirety, Monday. And stop trying to place the blame on poor Marisa.

[RowanRavyn]

Yes, poor Marisa whom he must marry in order to keep.

 

I say dump him and move ON already! Get the ring you want, let him pay for it, dump him, and find someone inclined to get a bigger ring to out do him.

[Anais]

I would say you both are not ready to get married or engaged.

 

Take your time to know each other better. You take the ring or not doesn’t change anything. You have a long way to go. When he doesn’t want to buy you “the ring you want” it doesn’t have t o do anything with “ he loves you or no”. See some people have money but the don’t find buying big and new car right. (my husband) Some don’t have money but they take loans to buy a new car every year. If one doesn't like to buy a new car for himself because he thinks it is a waist does it mean that he doesn’t love himself?

 

The bad side of your story is that you both are not ready to sacrifice. You can disagree but you need to know how to find the middle way. That is what the marriage about. Good luck.

[Marisa]

I think being with this guy for these 6 years was a mistake. I never saw this coming. I don't understand how someone can be so unreasonable and mean. You are all right. He doesn't give a crap about me! I don't think I want to be around someone like this. I just wished I didn't waste all my years this way.

 

Being together this long, I would have thought he would be so happy to marry me but if he feels I forced him into it and it's obvious from all of this that he didn't propose to me because he loved me but because I wanted this... it's a good enough reason to call it quits.

 

I did ask him if he really wanted to get married and he said yes but his actions speak louder than words. I truly believe he's got some gf out there whom he's probably seeing behind my back. Why would he be carrying some girls number in his inside coat pocket. She failed to give him her home number because she has a bf.

She gave him her 1)cell number 2) her work number 3) and her email address. By the way she's a french girl too.. and wha'ts mores weird is that my fiance is going to french classes now to learn the language of love so to be able to speak it to that desperate tramp.

 

Is this b**tch that desperate! Who the hell does she think she is. I'm sorry but when I bump into old friends I haven't seen in a long time, I don't whip out my home number, my cell number, my email address, my work number and write the darn thing down like I would never see this person again.... Like I said to my bf.. if he can't be loyal to me while living miles and miles away, than there is nothing I can do about any of it. I'm in my early 30's and I am not going to waste my time with someone who's not only a jerk but also a liar!

 

All of this is just too much for me and I really need to take a break from it all. I'm tired and sick of this issue and this MAN! I deserve so much more and if he's going to continue this way, then I am outta here.

 

Marisa

[butterfly029]

Honey, wrong ring - wrong guy.

Samantha. (Sex and the city)

[jmargel]

Marisa, go with your instinct.

 

From a guy's point of view, if he has the nads to tell you he didn't call her 'Yet' after getting all this info from her, that basically means either 'I did call her and we are going out' or 'I am keeping my options open and I really don't care about you'. To actually say that to your face is just mean.

 

.28 is not big, hell my wife is 5'4 110 lbs and I got her a .33 caret. When we got the wedding rings, she saw an engagement/wedding set that was 1 ct. I told her whatever makes her happy. She traded the quality of the smaller ring for the bigger ring, so in the end it only cost me $300 (I would have spent more on the wedding ring itself). Is it big? Yep. Does it look good on her? Yep.

 

.28 is almost like a chip, so you are not being fussy. If he likes small diamonds, well then he could have one on his wedding band, but you should be able to pick out what you want. It's you who will be wearing it for the rest of your life.

 

That said, your main issue is not the rings right now. It's his possiblity of cheating and basically how he doesn't make you happy. TRUST ME! Whatever is bothering you now about him will only MAGNIFY 10x after you get married. You two don't even live with each other. That in itself makes a huge difference in a relationship. Especially since you said he wants his 'freedom'.

 

Right now he's way too immature to get married, it'll only end in heartbreak. With you leaving will hopefully give him the wake up call he needs. Before even thinking of getting married to anyone, always.. always.. always.. always, goto a marriage counselor. I speak from experience, and many others can probably tell you the same. I know things look down right now, but there are better things for you ahead. *hug*

[Marisa]

Hi,

 

Well I have really thought about all of this and have come to a decision. I think I will not go ahead with the engagement simply because I don't think my boyfriend is ready or ever going to be.

 

He says he didn't propose because I forced him but I know he did it because it was important to me and I wished it was important to him too. The thought of me marrying someone who didn't value the same things as me would spell a disastrous marriage.

 

We have already started off our engagement on the wrong foot. He has put up a fight with me over what ring looks bad on my hand and what e ring looks good.

 

I basically don't understand him nor his way of thinking and all these years I thought he did. I want to remember this engagement as something I could look back on with happiness not with sadness. I don't want to have to remember how much of a "struggle" it was for him to purchase an engagement ring for me. Some of you might have been wondering how come it took me this long to figure it all out. Well honestly, I didn't expect a marriage"proposal" I really thought that he and I would eventually split up because the long distance was too much for me to handle.

 

I think honesty is important to me and is the foundation for all relationships. When you lose trust in someone, there is really nothing else left in the relationship because the foundation has collapsed and everything that was once kept on stable ground has fallen through. This is how I feel things are with me and my "fiance"

 

I think family is important to me also. His lack of effort in wanting to sit down in my family's house and relax shows me how little he wants to be part of my life. I could never ever ever be around a man who could not show my family a bit of respect. I feel sorry for them. They only want me to be happy. I basically don't invite him to my house anymore because whenever I do he just doesn't want to come in. He'll be waiting outside in the car with the engine running. A simple Hi to my dad who is 70 years old would be a very polite gesture. I think this whole engagement thing and the ring has opened my eyes to the things that I knew bothered me but was really afraid to confront them. The more I reevaluate everything, the more I see how unfair things have been in this relationship.

 

I am a very easy going person... but I do want to be in a fair relationship. If we were ever to have kids, I would want to have a say in how they should be brought up and I would listen with an open mind how my husband wants to raise kids... I think marriage is so much a compromise.. 2 people coming together because they love eachother and who are willing to work as a team.

 

I do love my boyfriend so much.. and if we were ever to break up, I would not look back on this and be bitter. All the years spent with him were fun but learned so much more from all this.

 

Marisa

[MJTig]

If I can be frank, if you never see yourself marrying him because of all this, and marriage is important- why stay with him? I understand you love him, so it may be hard to break it off after 6 years... but he sounds as though he wants no committment and is giving more attention to a strange girl.

 

I personally think you should cut your losses and cut off this loser... find someone who treats you well and loves you. Its more important and telling that he doesn't care to talk with your family and doesn't want anything you want than the size of the ring itself. He is trying to make a point so he disappoints you. He wants things on his terms only and doesn't care if that means you just wait on the sidelines for him to come back to when he's done playing.

 

All the signs point to that not only will this relationship not work as a marriage, but is in serious trouble as a dating one.

[Zora]

Marisa, just to clarify ... your post before the last post you just made you first said ...

 

"I feel like I wasted 6 years of my life with this guy". The second post ...

"It was not wasted time, I learned alot, had fun". Now... what is it? Are you still confused?

 

This thread went from ... Love my b/f, but the ring is too small .. too...

My boyfriend does not want me to have a ring I want, he is cheating and your not sure if you want the relationship anymore ... but you love him. So what is it?

 

Let me tell you something... If he has a number, no matter how many different numbers for any person he is cheating.. I could see if you were just dating and he got a number .. but your engaged for marriage and he is still collecting numbers? That's crazy and I asked my bf on this and he agreed with me... His words were: Engaged and getting another girls number? That's not right and yes, he sure is cheating, guys who love their partners truly would not even have other women as thoughts, their thoughts should be wedding bells...

 

I think you are a better person then this jerk... Love heals, turns to anger, hate and then you move on, and happy at that. I think that is just what you need to do. Dump him, but keep that little ring (do you still have it)? If so, let it be a reminder everyday that you are not with this jerk and of what a mess HE made out of something that should be so beautiful ... that you wanted to be so beautiful and that will be someday for you, just not with this guy.

 

When I first started reading this thread I said .. dam this chick is so materialistic, she wants the ring but is not seeing the love side of the guy... I am so sorry I felt that way, I totally am on your side now. Rings mean nothing really, after you get your wedding band your supppose to dump the engagement ring (although these days I see people wearing them together more and more but traditionally...) But your situation is so much deeper...

 

I don;'t know you at all but you deserve soooo much better, your in your 30"s now, so it is time for you to move on and find someone who appreciates you for you....

 

You cannot get back those 6 WASTED (to me anyway because I been there too and still trying to figure out how to get those years back) years but you can move on and made a lifetime more to wash out those 6!~

 

Good luck to you

[Marisa]

What can I do now? Could finding a piece of paper in your finances 'inside' coat pocket which has the cell phone number, work email address, her work number mean that my fiance is cheating on me?

 

Can you be positively sure that he is cheating? I have trusted him up till now. I have never thought of him as the type of guy who would ever cheat on someone. He says he bumped into her and she gave him her number and that was that. He said he didn't talk to her since.

 

What am I supposed to do.. Wrack my brains trying to figure this out. Is it possible that she did give him the number and he pocketed it or do you think it may be more than that... maybe he is somewhat interested. I don't know what to believe anymore!!!!!

 

I don't want to stop him from having women friends, if the case may be that he isn't cheating on me. I just thought it was strange that he would have kept her number in his inside coat pocket. Is it odd that one would carry a women's phone number(email address, work number and her cell number) on a piece of paper in his jacket.

 

Could someone please advise!

Thanks,

 

Marisa

[Pocky]

I'm confused. How can you write this, but stay in this relationship?

 

Hi,

 

Well I have really thought about all of this and have come to a decision. I think I will not go ahead with the engagement simply because I don't think my boyfriend is ready or ever going to be.

 

He says he didn't propose because I forced him but I know he did it because it was important to me and I wished it was important to him too. The thought of me marrying someone who didn't value the same things as me would spell a disastrous marriage.

 

We have already started off our engagement on the wrong foot. He has put up a fight with me over what ring looks bad on my hand and what e ring looks good.

 

I basically don't understand him nor his way of thinking and all these years I thought he did. I want to remember this engagement as something I could look back on with happiness not with sadness. I don't want to have to remember how much of a "struggle" it was for him to purchase an engagement ring for me. Some of you might have been wondering how come it took me this long to figure it all out. Well honestly, I didn't expect a marriage"proposal" I really thought that he and I would eventually split up because the long distance was too much for me to handle.

 

I think honesty is important to me and is the foundation for all relationships. When you lose trust in someone, there is really nothing else left in the relationship because the foundation has collapsed and everything that was once kept on stable ground has fallen through. This is how I feel things are with me and my "fiance"

 

I think family is important to me also. His lack of effort in wanting to sit down in my family's house and relax shows me how little he wants to be part of my life. I could never ever ever be around a man who could not show my family a bit of respect. I feel sorry for them. They only want me to be happy. I basically don't invite him to my house anymore because whenever I do he just doesn't want to come in. He'll be waiting outside in the car with the engine running. A simple Hi to my dad who is 70 years old would be a very polite gesture. I think this whole engagement thing and the ring has opened my eyes to the things that I knew bothered me but was really afraid to confront them. The more I reevaluate everything, the more I see how unfair things have been in this relationship.

 

I am a very easy going person... but I do want to be in a fair relationship. If we were ever to have kids, I would want to have a say in how they should be brought up and I would listen with an open mind how my husband wants to raise kids... I think marriage is so much a compromise.. 2 people coming together because they love eachother and who are willing to work as a team.

 

I do love my boyfriend so much.. and if we were ever to break up, I would not look back on this and be bitter. All the years spent with him were fun but learned so much more from all this.

 

Marisa

[Zora]

Marisa, the only reason I suspect he would be, because he said he did not call her "YET"! Read back on your posts. If you do trust him and this is his normal way of meeting "friends" then cool, let it be, but if this is out of his character then look a bit deeper into it.

 

Gosh I wish you the best with this whole thing... Again, your better then this in every way!

[FolderWife]

Wow This relationship is really bad for you

[scooterb]

Originally posted by Marisa

I think being with this guy for these 6 years was a mistake. I never saw this coming. I don't understand how someone can be so unreasonable and mean. You are all right. He doesn't give a crap about me! I don't think I want to be around someone like this. I just wished I didn't waste all my years this way.

 

Being together this long, I would have thought he would be so happy to marry me but if he feels I forced him into it and it's obvious from all of this that he didn't propose to me because he loved me but because I wanted this... it's a good enough reason to call it quits.

 

I did ask him if he really wanted to get married and he said yes but his actions speak louder than words. I truly believe he's got some gf out there whom he's probably seeing behind my back. Why would he be carrying some girls number in his inside coat pocket. She failed to give him her home number because she has a bf.

She gave him her 1)cell number 2) her work number 3) and her email address. By the way she's a french girl too.. and wha'ts mores weird is that my fiance is going to french classes now to learn the language of love so to be able to speak it to that desperate tramp.

 

Is this b**tch that desperate! Who the hell does she think she is. I'm sorry but when I bump into old friends I haven't seen in a long time, I don't whip out my home number, my cell number, my email address, my work number and write the darn thing down like I would never see this person again.... Like I said to my bf.. if he can't be loyal to me while living miles and miles away, than there is nothing I can do about any of it. I'm in my early 30's and I am not going to waste my time with someone who's not only a jerk but also a liar!

 

All of this is just too much for me and I really need to take a break from it all. I'm tired and sick of this issue and this MAN! I deserve so much more and if he's going to continue this way, then I am outta here.

 

Marisa

 

 

 

WOW!!!

 

Really don't think that you have wasted your time on him.. You have put time into this relationship because you love him. Same back with him. Don't let everyone else tell you how to think...you know your feelings toward this man and it doesn't matter what kind of ring how big how small just focus on that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you=)

[NotInTheBitchBin]

A girl friend of mine recently got a ring from her boyfriend on the v-day. The ring is about 0.8c. The ring has, according to the girl, the perfect cut, shape and every other feature the girl has always desired and described to her boyfriend, EXCEPT for the size...

 

So, the next day, the girl exchanged the diamond for a 1.8c one, and she now claims that she wants to keep this new ring forever. She is proud of herself for keeping the band that holds the new, BIGGER, diamond. Does this piece of rock still have any meaning at all?

 

The guy was not 100% happy with the girl's behavior, but , as the girl reported, "he got over with it in 15 mins." But, later on, when we met the guy, he openly admitted he was not comfortable with this happening.

 

Maybe he is not strong enough to stand up for himself and say good-bye or maybe he is blindly loving a BITCH without realizing it?

[Marisa]

Yeah, and maybe I have my blinders on and am in love with a CONTROL FREAK!

[k_lily]

Originally posted by mymojo

a .13 diamond is basically a diamond chip,it's not an engagement ring IMHO.

 

The guy is telling her something here and it isn't good. He could have gone to a jeweler's exchange and gotten a bigger stone for the same money,he could have purchased a man made diamond or given her a non-traditional ring with another type of stone.

 

Sounds like he's not really interested in marrying her but can't bring himself to say it directly.

 

 

Oh my god people!!!! I can't believe this conversation is even going on this long. Let me tell you something about diamond chips.... I am a simple girl, and I wear two pieces of jewelery... an amber-rock stud in my upper left ear.... and my suspended diamond setting engagement ring. Yes, a diamond chip engagement ring. My fiance took two months of talking to my friends, and checking out stores, and listening to me to figure out what I would like and the ring he picked out for me is perfect, and it's beautiful. There was very specific reasoning for the piece he picked for me. First off it's unique, this specific design was only carried at that store and they only had three made. Second, I'm a simple girl, I like things that are suited to my life and this was just like me. Third, he thought about my lifestyle too. I am a professional artist, and I work in a garden center during the summer and he didn't want something that I'd have to worry about. But it wasn't cheap as far as "chip" diamonds are concerned.

 

Why is it everyone seems to think that if a guy doesn't spend "one month's salary" on the ring then he must not love her!!!?!?!

 

Now back to the original question at hand... I think you may have handled the situation a little oddly, but if you feel that you need something bigger, it's true that it's going to be on your hand for the rest of your life. But maybe that brings up a bigger question: are you getting married for the right reasons.

[k_lily]

My engagement ring is a diamond chip. Does anyone here realize how crazy they sound right now. I would still be as happy with my fiance today if we had forgot the engagement ring and I kept wearing the Claddagh ring that he bought me for 25 dollars as a symbol of our promise to each other. I don't think the problem is that you asked to pick out a different one, it's that you expect that it needs to be a more expensive one. You need to grow up!

[Donut]

I think it's obvious here that the ring is just the symbol for the problems in the relationship.

 

Marisa, I really feel for you and know what you're going thru. Been in this situation myself with an ex, a bit differently admittedly, but still the bare bones of it was the same.

 

If marriage is an important goal for you, but it's not for him, it's abundantly clear especially after 6 years and the problems you've described that this isn't going anywhere. And I suspect if you were to marry him it would not be a happy marriage.

 

It sounds like you are both staying with each other because of the familiarity. It doesn't make you bad people. It is a scary prospect breaking up after so long but I think the scarier thing is staying with someone FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE who doesn't sound like he really loves or wants to be with you a great deal. If he did this wouldn't be an issue.

 

Think about the commitment, caring, respect, effort and compromise that comes with any relationship. Is he capable of this? Is he doing these things now? If not he isn't going to change because of marriage or an engagement.

 

JMO, but he bought you a ring cos he wanted to keep you quiet. This does not bode well for a fulfilling marriage. You deserve better than this.

[SleepingLover]

Hmmm Love cannot be measured in dollar signs. Anyone whom thinks this will be in for a rude awakening later in life. A "ring" cannot make you happy. If you are simply interested in sporting something to show off to your friends etc etc, then maybe that is how you see your fiance as well... just on your arm to show him off?

 

This is a very superficial issue and there is no heart in it at all.

 

If you love your fiance, how would you feel about it if something devestating happened to him tomorrow? How would you feel that the last conveyed message that you sent was one that didn't show any care for his feelings, but how big a ring he would get you? Hearts are not measured by money.

 

It is a very immature way to behave. If a woman did this to me, I would be floored because it would have ripped my heart out that all she cared about is "how much" I would/could spend on her. Not only would I be floored but I would be on the move. You make me sad for you and your fiance.

 

However, if your fiance is only marrying you so he won't lose you, something is terribly wrong. Marriage is no gaurantee that a relationship will be chained or locked tight. Marriage is more difficult than most people imagine. It takes a lot of work and it is crucial that both partners work together. Considering both yours and your fiance's undertsnading of love and marriage, I would say that you both need to take more time and think about it. It sounds like some maturing is needed for the both of you. I don't mean that to be offensive but it is true. You will only, both, regret it in the end and come to despise each other. Take your time... perhaps that is why you think marriage is unimportant to your boyfriend? Has he been wanting to take his time, but has been being pressured? I think we might not have the full story on your situation. I'm being speculative but I have a strange feeling that it isn't that he feels marriage is unimportant, but that he may not be ready or is unsure.

 

It could be there is pressure and this is why he is collecting numbers from women. He may be looking for a way out. Did this behavior start before or after he gave you the "ring"?

[StacyRose]

quote: "that diamond is too big on you"

 

I'm sorry but that is too funny.. reminds me of my ex.. who had ZERO class and drank beer all day.