drifter777 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 5 Years ago today i met my WW for the first time October 17....today is going to be hard but i'm try to manage and stay strong First time anniverseries are hard. Since you are taking positive action as opposed to rug sweeping and just swallowing your emotions, I think these things will get easier in a short time. You are taking what you believe is the right actions for you and not just offering cheap forgiveness in order to smooth things out. I think you are going to be happier on your new path and start making new anniversaries soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Living life one day at a time..... THIS! That is the way! I know I have been there where you give everything and somehow its not enough, then everything goes to hell and you have a persong begging you 24/7 for things you never imagined. Life is too important to waste away, move on, and find someone who loves you for what you are not for what you HAVE. My 2 pesos Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 The difference between your first meeting 5years ago and now is you know the real her, she has shown you who she really is. To some of us infidelity is a deal breaker, if they do it anyway they deserve what they get. Work on yourself, there's a big world out there, you Deserve someone faithful in your life specially if you travel a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Stay strong and don't look back. While you lost two important people in your life you gained your freedom to find someone who is true and descent. I know hearing what all actually happened was seriously painful but at least you will know have the truth and It will help keep you strong. Thanks for sharing your experience with me. Its helpful to know there are other people out there who do get life back on track. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 This week has been one of the best i have had in a very long time.Spent most of the week planing a costume party with a few co-workers even hung out with a few at a local bar they visits after work caught the eyes of a couple of cute girls and flirted a little(nothing to major). The soon to be X has agreed to have her stuff out by the end of next week.She still asking for a R I'm also next week going to try to reach out to that POS to get some answers. PS... I have a meeting with a shrink on Tues Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Have you filed for divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 Have you filed for divorce? YEP i have already filed 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 YEP i have already filed Filed is not divorced. You are wrong to be flirting. There is a time and place for everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 Filed is not divorced. You are wrong to be flirting. There is a time and place for everything. We being married didn't stop her from F'ing my best friend...And our marriage is over so why not try to move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 Just make sure you are up front and honest with any girl you meet and flirt with about your feelings. Don't lead some girl on an treat her like crap just because your ex treated you badly! I'm always going to be honest with every girl i'm really interested in but if i'm just flirting no need to share my personal business with complete strangers... i have never been the type of person to blame someone for a mistake another person has made 4 Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 I'm always going to be honest with every girl i'm really interested in but if i'm just flirting no need to share my personal business with complete strangers... i have never been the type of person to blame someone for a mistake another person has made yea, no harm in flirting. If however it becomes more than that, as you stated, you have it covered to be honest with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 I think people are being way too harsh on Leaving, he's separated, he's detached, can't see why he can't flirt, notice it's only flirting, I've never flirted with somebody and told them my life story at the same time. Dude, do what you have to do and enjoy life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 We being married didn't stop her from F'ing my best friend...And our marriage is over so why not try to move on Your marriage is not over. You are still not divorced. What you are is a married man pissed off at his WW. That is not the same as being single. You are not 7 up. 7 up can be the uncola. You can not be unmarried unless the judge says you are. Even the fat lady can sing all she wants you are still married. Unless the judge is female and fat. You condemn your WW for dating while married. Yet it is ok for you to date while being married. Now on to the fine woman that you are chasing after. She is not that fine chasing after married men. Why? When a man says my wife does not love me, our marriage is dead, blah, blah, blah, to an OW. Dollars to doughnuts it is a WH looking to have an affair. So when a married man says those words to a woman all kinds of alarms go off warning her that she is 99.99 % being fed baloney. So for this ideal new woman to ignore those alarms is saying that she has poor judgment, values, morals, when she accepts a married mans values. She is showing that she is willing to be an OW. Why do you think the phrase they cheat with you they will cheat on you still is in common usage today? Last where is your pride and self respect? Married men do not date. Yet you want to roll in the same excrement as all of the other adulterers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 I think people are being way too harsh on Leaving, he's separated, he's detached, can't see why he can't flirt, notice it's only flirting, I've never flirted with somebody and told them my life story at the same time. Dude, do what you have to do and enjoy life. i guess it's a crime to flirt while going thru a divorce even if the marriage is done 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 Your marriage is not over. You are still not divorced. What you are is a married man pissed off at his WW. That is not the same as being single. You are not 7 up. 7 up can be the uncola. You can not be unmarried unless the judge says you are. Even the fat lady can sing all she wants you are still married. Unless the judge is female and fat. You condemn your WW for dating while married. Yet it is ok for you to date while being married. Now on to the fine woman that you are chasing after. She is not that fine chasing after married men. Why? When a man says my wife does not love me, our marriage is dead, blah, blah, blah, to an OW. Dollars to doughnuts it is a WH looking to have an affair. So when a married man says those words to a woman all kinds of alarms go off warning her that she is 99.99 % being fed baloney. So for this ideal new woman to ignore those alarms is saying that she has poor judgment, values, morals, when she accepts a married mans values. She is showing that she is willing to be an OW. Why do you think the phrase they cheat with you they will cheat on you still is in common usage today? Last where is your pride and self respect? Married men do not date. Yet you want to roll in the same excrement as all of the other adulterers. I respect your opinion but it's not like i'm out there looking for ONS just wanna have a little fun while i'm still young and a little flirting doesn't hurt at all 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Go flirt and have fun....you sound kind and know boundaries...live a little. I agree. The factor here is that Leaving seems to fully understand the M is over and seems emotionally detached at this point. Couple that with the D being filed - it seems he is detached from what the M was. Try not to go on medicine with your shrink. You want to "feel like your best self". Address the pain and disappointment and work THROUGH it to the other side. I think you're on the right path. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 The first step on the slippery is flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
petee Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Mate, you will obviously have noticed that there is one poor poster here that wants you to live in a cave and watch your life go by, presumably as sadly as theirs. Ignore emotional cripples like these, get out there and live. You never, ever, did anything wrong so why self flagellate like this idiot above wants you to do????? It would make no sense!! Get out and live life! It is not a dress rehearsal....it's a one time deal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
klotzak Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Agree with Petee, please don't entertain the guy above, they must have issues that can not be resolved. Enjoy yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Like I said Leaving, if you have indeed filed and are finalizing the divorce, then flirt up a storm. Why exactly that is being demonized is beyond me. Flirting is not a slippery slope to anything, as long as the two engaged in it recognize the boundaries and dont overstep them, then it fine. Life's too short. Geez Link to post Share on other sites
Catfish Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Leaving, I've been following your thread. Reading it is hard and I'm sure living it is hell. Have fun in Vegas! Look, Flirt, and Have Fun! Going forward though, Your Friend needs to go. He's an Alpha and is your Rival. He will seek to destroy anything you have. Ditch him! Also, NEVER let a man get that close to you or any woman you chose ever. I learned this one the Hard Way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stillscared Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 You are young, sound like a great person, and deserve much better than a cheating spouse. If no kids are involved, get out, find yourself better friends and someday you'll find a woman who deserves you. Not all women cheat. Yours has issues. Run.... Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Reading this thread made my blood boil....I hope you can find a good girl OP...best of lucks to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 Had a good first day with my therapist can't wait till my next session.the Halloween party was one of the best experience I have had in a very long time(the theme was a 1950's Horror Movie) at the party i really clicked with a former co-worker we have been talking and eating lunch together.This Saturday were are going skating something fun and yes she knows about my situation and is cool with just being friends for now. the last thing the Soon to be X lied her shiit is still here thinking about having a yard sale and getting my $2000 back.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Had a good first day with my therapist can't wait till my next session.the Halloween party was one of the best experience I have had in a very long time(the theme was a 1950's Horror Movie) at the party i really clicked with a former co-worker we have been talking and eating lunch together.This Saturday were are going skating something fun and yes she knows about my situation and is cool with just being friends for now. the last thing the Soon to be X lied her shiit is still here thinking about having a yard sale and getting my $2000 back.... Put it out on the curb and text her that it's there to be picked up - and anyone driving by is welcome to take anything that's there if she isn't there really quickly. No need to keep storing her stuff - tell her it's leaving your place one way or another. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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