Speakingofwhich Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Leaving, since you're going to divorce here's a word of advice for you in dating and settling down with a new woman (not that you're ready for that at this point): Before getting serious with a woman, pay close attention to how they treat other people, especially people who can do nothing for them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 21, 2013 Author Share Posted September 21, 2013 I have arranged to meet her today at 6 to get answers the question i'm going to ask How did this really start ? How long ? Do you love him ? Did you ever loved me ? What was your goal ? Why ? also meeting her to let her know i going full steam ahead with this divorce and the next you here from me it will be my lawyer trying the detail figured out 2 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Ask her if she did things with the AP that she never did for you or with you? So would she do something for you that she never did for the affair partner? She spent so much energy in the affair, and the coverup. Would she do something wonderful for you? like not cheat on you? or lie to you? or do things with the AP that she would not do for you? Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Her parents knew about the first time and they were mad azz hell told her how could she hurt the one she loved.I definitely going to get tested forgive me if i missed it, but you state "first time" so cheated before this time? Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 a waste of a good man xx 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 OP you are wasting your time asking her those questions because she is going to lie, lie and lie some more. How will you know she's lying - her lips will be moving. The truth is she got bored having a good husband who treated her like a lady and wanted the "bad boy" who would treat her like the slut she is. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the dang truth. Divorce her and move forward. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home. PS. Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 OP you are wasting your time asking her those questions because she is going to lie, lie and lie some more. How will you know she's lying - her lips will be moving. The truth is she got bored having a good husband who treated her like a lady and wanted the "bad boy" who would treat her like the slut she is. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the dang truth. Divorce her and move forward. You were right it was a waste of my time 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 forgive me if i missed it, but you state "first time" so cheated before this time? I was referring to when i caught them in bed her parent knows about that, but not about her still being in contact with him after i had decided to give her another chance Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 If she keeps phoning and texting and you don't want it, get a RO so she can't contact you in any way and let your lawyer do the talking for you. Sometimes people do crazy things when their back is too the wall and it could cost you. Keep away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 just put her on cheatersville:p 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home. PS. Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer Bolded part. So, she wants to hang onto a good friendship vs letting him go and showing you real remorse, answering all your questions, doing everything that is required to fix herself and own her part in all this. She is in desperation mode and the crocodile tears (though I'm sure she is genuinally upset too, she's just using them to manipulate you to not kick her out of your life) will be coming more and more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home. PS. Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer Somehow she was still willing to risk her family for someone she didn't love, what value does that put on you? By not answering your questions about O/M she was protecting him and choosing him over you. Cheaterville is a good place for her, all men should be warned about her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home. PS. Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer Standard WW baloney. Words spoken to keep in back up mode incase OM dumps her butt. Also to maintain contact with OM until you stop checking up on her so she can resume the affair. Married people do not need hence should have opposite sex friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 The fact that your wife would have sex with your best friend in your bed in your home shows how little she thought of you and your marriage. This is an absolutely deal breaker for almost anyone. The fact that she would tell you to look forward and not back is ridiculous. I have to ask you do you think down deep she wanted to get caught? I mean screwing your best friend in your bed seems to me to just be asking to get caught. On the other hand, the symbolism of this is huge on multiple levels. She clearly is in denial. You are doing the right thing. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Leaving: Wow, it seems as though she is only sorry she got caught. No real remorse, and not being honest which shows she is immature and not "wife" material. Your next step is to find a really great attorney, and to make sure you go over your pre-nup, accounts, financial funds such as IRA's, etc. just so you can understand the legalities of your situation. Make sure this attorney is clear that you no longer want to have any contact with your wife because it sounds as though she could get emotionally draining in the future per her conversation with you on not wanting to let you go. She already let you go when she decided to cheat with your "faux" best friend in your marital bed. Also, be prepared when she realizes you aren't going to want her back ever for her to hurl accusations at you regarding anything from finances to not being good in bed. It never fails that the party who wrongs usually can find justification for what they did because they are in denial. You are absolutely right in that he didn't seduce her, but she went willingly, probably liking the secretive aspect of the affair. On a good note, you do not have to waste one more day on a partner who did not appreciate the marriage vows she made. After you heal, and surround yourself with family and friends who love you, you will be happy that you got out when you did instead of staying in a marriage with someone who doesn't appreciate you or her vows. You are going to be just fine without her. It is her loss. You have your entire life ahead of you to live a life of honesty and integrity. Best, Grumps Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 24, 2013 Author Share Posted September 24, 2013 about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back Legally can she do this ? Call my lawyer first thing tommrow Link to post Share on other sites
Coolit Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back Legally can she do this ? Call my lawyer first thing tommrow Yes legally she sure can. It is her house too an until you have a court order in hand there isn't much you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back Legally can she do this ? Call my lawyer first thing tommrow If you owned the home before you married her, your allowed to keep the assets you owned and brought into the marriage, talk to a lawyer. Protect your finances. Link to post Share on other sites
klotzak Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 She will try anything mate. First back into the house and in ger twisted mind she'll that as a step to reconciliation. You need to be strong her and stand your ground. I'm afraid she will try some stunts at the house so look after yourself mate. If it comes to it rent a room out to someone she will absolutely hate and then get on with the legal stuff. No point beating around the bush you have the rest of your life to look forward to.....in good time. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 She has probably been advised by a lawyer or someone experienced with divorce to not abandon the home. It's true that she has a right to be there unless there is an order of protection in place. Get your own legal advice as has been pointed out here already. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back Legally can she do this ? Call my lawyer first thing tommrow Someone has advised her not to leave the house or she will lose it. She definitely has someone advising her. You shouldn't have let her back in. I see it didn't take her long to start protecting her assets. I thought she would do anything and give up anything to make this up to you. - wrong. She is selfish to the hilt and only cares about herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted September 24, 2013 Author Share Posted September 24, 2013 got off work early...spending the rest of the week working from home here is the cheaterville link Caught her in bed - Abbey johnson PS. Lawyer outta town till thrusday 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 got off work early...spending the rest of the week working from home here is the cheaterville link Caught her in bed - Abbey johnson PS. Lawyer outta town till thrusday Are you OK posting your personal information for everyone to see? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Are you OK posting your personal information for everyone to see? If not, you may want to contact a moderator and ask them to delete it. Link to post Share on other sites
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