Ex wife asked me to dinner Friday night

[Chi townD]

 

As for everything else it still worries me if Im good enough! I read and watch a lot of these dating videos and they all tell you how to act, what to say, how to stand, dont cross your arms, dont fidget, SH@t! even how to walk! ...I dont know if these guys are onto something or not but it just seems so mechanical! As Im not being myself..

 

 

 

As for dating though, I know it basically comes down to confidence, Women love confidence! I am a very confident guy with many aspects of my life except for a few. Women as of late are not one of them unless she is someone I have absolutely NO interest in, Then I feel I can just be myself without fear of rejection..Funny isnt it? But so true!

 

 

 

 

 

Whoa! Okay dude. Forget all of those dating video's that you've watched. They're teaching you to be something that you're not. I mean, it's okay to be mindful of the body language, but I think the most important thing to do is be yourself. And that includes all the little flaws you may have. It shows that you are being yourself. That you're not trying to mask who you are.

 

 

And yes! Women Love a confident guy. But, more importantly, they like a guy that can make them laugh. They like a guy that can make them feel comfortable. So, remember those two things. And if your nervous, then that's okay! You're allowed to be! She might be as well! But, at least you're showing her that you are genuine.

[hurts_so_bad]

Whoa! Okay dude. Forget all of those dating video's that you've watched. They're teaching you to be something that you're not. I mean, it's okay to be mindful of the body language, but I think the most important thing to do is be yourself. And that includes all the little flaws you may have. It shows that you are being yourself. That you're not trying to mask who you are.

 

 

And yes! Women Love a confident guy. But, more importantly, they like a guy that can make them laugh. They like a guy that can make them feel comfortable. So, remember those two things. And if your nervous, then that's okay! You're allowed to be! She might be as well! But, at least you're showing her that you are genuine.

 

Thanks! Im gonna do my best..Its hard sometimes to be yourself when your unsure of yourself and feel like yourself might not be enough..Like I said, My ego took a beating!

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey guys...

 

Went on that date last night and it started off a nightmare! First off I asked my son to come here and drive me to where I was meeting her, Then to just take my car, Go hang with his friends and pick me up after..

 

The date was at 9..He text me at like 8:15 saying can you come get me at moms cause Im a little tired and dont feel like walking to your house from here which is about a 15 minute walk.

 

 

I was a little annoyed and reluctant. Annoyed thay he could have told me earlier and reluctant because I was nerved out a bit to drive without my license..Anyway, I agreed to get him and have him drop me off..

 

At like 8:45 I jump in my car start it and I hear a bang! The friggin alternator belt broke! Now the car is useless! I call my son and tell him to forget it the cars not running. I call my date and tell her I may be a bit late because I am taking a cab due to the car problems.

 

She says to me Ok no problem. At this point its like 10 mins to 9..I call a cab and the cab says 30 minutes! I said ok better late then never. 2 minutes later my date calls me and says, Do you want me to just pick you up? I said if you dont mind yes, The cab told me 30 minutes anyway. So she agreed to get me and I called the cab to cancel the car.

 

She gets me and we go to one place that I heard has good nightlife but I have never been there myself. We go in there and the place is full of cigarette and cigar smoke. Im a smoker and it even bothered me! I could see in her face this wasnt the place for her. I went to talk to the people in the place and asked about the nightlife as this place only appeared to be a bar and they said thats only during the summer. So off we went!

 

We ended up at applebees, We ordered one of those appetizer samplers and talked for about an hour and a half about everything under the sun. Converstaion was good without many moments of uncomfortable silence. We had our laughs as well as some serious conversations..I thought it went well. I was very confident. Better then I thought I would be.

 

End of the night she drops me off and I go in for the kiss and get the cheek! Done or not? You guys tell me what you think? I ended it all with telling her to give me a ring..If she does she does, If not its done.

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey guys..Havent been on in a bit..With the job, gym, karate, kids, house, theropy, etc! It gets hectic! Anyway, Yesterday was my bday (yes tax day!) and I turned 45...The past 2+ years have been a helleva rollacoaster ride of emotions regarding my feelings for my ex so its been rough!

Recently Ifound out she dumped her old boyfriend only to get right into a relationship with another dude..

 

Its taken me a long time to get over most of the hurt but it still stings! What I think hurts the most is feelings of feeling inadequate or as if these guys she chooses to be with are better then me...It also hurts to think I'm going to spend another holiday season without someone to love..

 

Sometimes it feels like the world is moving on around me and Im just stagnant..Its a pretty ****ty feeling! I am however doing well otherwise..

Just cant wait till I meet someone to feel whole again..I know people say you have to be happy with your life before you can be happy with anyone else but I think and my theropist said thats Bullsh@t...

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and give love...I think we are all in search of that to some degree..If everyone was just happy on their own this site wouldnt exist because we would be content without the person we lost and have nothing to bitch about...lol

[hurts_so_bad]

Just read this thread through with interest and Oberfeldwebel is absolutely right. In fact, nearly everybody else is saying the same thing.

 

All I got from your comments is that you're a lonely, desperate, heart-broken man. A complete doormat to his woman and guess what? She knows it!

 

This seriously isn't good for you and isn't going to work. You MUST focus on yourself, not her! It's time to kick this pathetic whimpering individual into touch. It's time to discard the demons, to have some self-pride, to act with conviction and purpose, to be your own person with a positive personality whilst oozing confidence.

 

If you work on that, then you won't just have the ex at your feet, you'll have hundreds of other girls wanting a piece of the pie too! And guess what? By that time, you probably won't even want your ex because you'll have moved on to a better place in your life.

 

Stop checking your phone. Go 180. If she calls and gives it mumbo jumbo, act barely interested. Women are attracted by independence, masculinity and leadership. You need to find those things - again, work on yourself, not her!

 

Til the day you die, there's only one person that will be with you all the way, and he's in the mirror. It's time to look after him!

 

Came to this comment again cause it always picks me up..If your still around can you tell me if this has ever happened to you? where you were down and out and then one day you woke up..

 

Im having a very bad day today..It always seems that when you need people there are none around..I enjoy the company of my friends but its times like this you find out who your true friends are and who is there for you..

 

Its not a very easy task at 45 to just go out and make a new circle of friends! I had to call my ex today to discuss things about my son and a few other things when I heard people in the background and she told me she was at a BBQ..

 

This really sucks being I feel alone with friends that are fair weather and she has her life going on..I dont want to take that away from her but it bothers me that its been so long and I cant seem to get my life started and be happy..

 

I get everything you said about being confident and happy but sometimes life just isnt that way and it sucks! How can a person be happy when they are so used to having a family and friends that now seem to all be gone!

 

I get focusing on yourself and I have between the gym, karate, theropy, etc...Its just not making me happy..Im the type of person who needs interaction with people and to feel I belong..

 

Its not that I have no one, I have my 3 kids and a few friends but I feel like Im alone all the time

[A.Moscote]

Then go on, make your own BBQ party too. That's one way to make a new circle of friends.

[hurts_so_bad]

Then go on, make your own BBQ party too. That's one way to make a new circle of friends.

 

Im having a BBQ july 5th..Ive invited about 20 people and the only ones with a yes are 3!

 

The rest are I will let you know deal..Thats what I mean when things are down even people and family you consider your friends can seem cold! I asked my own cousin and he said I will let you know..Thats it! No hey thanks for the invite but Im not sure yet but I will let you know..

 

Maybe Im a bit over sensative to **** right now but I know thats how I treat people and expect the same treatment..

 

I wish I could but you cant just throw a BBQ and expect people to walk off the street and say hey! Can I come in? lol

[OnwardandUpward]

Hurts-so-bad if that is you in the photo - my interest sure would be peeked enough to go on a date with you.

 

Relax - enjoy and have confidence.

[hurts_so_bad]

Hurts-so-bad if that is you in the photo - my interest sure would be peeked enough to go on a date with you.

 

Relax - enjoy and have confidence.

 

lol..Yes that is me in the photo, Thank you! I know what your saying its sometimes hard to have confidence and be happy when your at a point in your life that feels stagnant while everyone else seems to have things going on..

 

Like I said in the earlier post..When your down everything else seems to be down including friends who act as if they are to good..Sucks sometimes but I guess I have to try and keep my own self busy enough without relying on others..

 

My problem is, I always had others.At 45 most of my friends are married or in LTR's so its a bit hard..even when I am invited it sometimes feels funny to be a third wheel

[OnwardandUpward]

I know what your saying - my husband ended our marriage in a very ugly way 3 months ago. I have had to go new town - knowing noone and 2 hour drive away from my kids and family. There not even my kids anymore because they were his - i was step mum.

 

I have been so down and blue but i took the deicison to join meetup and on sunday i am going to a local restaurant to have lunch with a whole lot of people i do not know.

 

My self esteem and confidence has been shattered - at 49 and just coming out of being very sick - i feel like i have been kicked in the guts or run over by a cement truck. He took our business so while he sits on a fortune, i have nothing but a government payment.

 

I had a choice - go mad or do what i love and so i do art - art saved me. I have just kept myself locked in my flat doing art but now its time to go meet people.

 

In 4 months when my lease runs out - i will move to go be near my family.

 

It is all hard - everything is hard and the older we get - the harder it is. But we have to do or die.

[mrs rubble]

lol..Yes that is me in the photo, Thank you! I know what your saying its sometimes hard to have confidence and be happy when your at a point in your life that feels stagnant while everyone else seems to have things going on..

 

Like I said in the earlier post..When your down everything else seems to be down including friends who act as if they are to good..Sucks sometimes but I guess I have to try and keep my own self busy enough without relying on others..

 

My problem is, I always had others.At 45 most of my friends are married or in LTR's so its a bit hard..even when I am invited it sometimes feels funny to be a third wheel

I agree with onward, you're a good-looking guy! I'd date you too (if I were still single and on the same continent!!) It took me 5 years (I'm 42) and several disasterous dating episodes post divorce before I found my man, he was nothing like I'd pictured and if I'd relied on OLD I'd have never have found him!! I joined a nudist club 2yrs ago and met a whole heap of new people, including my now fiance.....my former friends I see little of these days and I'm closer to my family as they are genuinely happy to see me so happy.

Stay strong! The best is yet to come.

[OnwardandUpward]

I agree with onward, you're a good-looking guy! I'd date you too (if I were still single and on the same continent!!) It took me 5 years (I'm 42) and several disasterous dating episodes post divorce before I found my man, he was nothing like I'd pictured and if I'd relied on OLD I'd have never have found him!! I joined a nudist club 2yrs ago and met a whole heap of new people, including my now fiance.....my former friends I see little of these days and I'm closer to my family as they are genuinely happy to see me so happy.

Stay strong! The best is yet to come.

 

Hi neighbour across the seas A nudist club - i couldnt do that but good on you for having the initiative to get out and start living - it paid off. I am only 3 months down the line but i am hoping my story will end up as your story one day.

[jbelle6]

Just wanted to say that I completely relate to the friends issue. I'm not from here so I have no family, the couple of friends I made moved away so I'm finding it harder than normal to get over this break up, just because I basically work out and then that's it really. I would love to have a fun circle of friends.

I find it harder to find really good same sex friends which makes me sad.

[hurts_so_bad]

Thanks for the compliments ladies I appreciate them! Things have been real tough for me with the dating thing for some reason..Ive even gone on dates with women that I find not so attractive just to get out and even with them there appears to be no attraction to me which is really weird cause usually thats not how things work in the world

 

Im sure many of you can relate when I say that usually its the ones you dont want that want you and visa versa..Ive come to a point where it just feels like no one wants me..

 

I do believe in the law of attraction and I guess its probably that Im trying to hard..It sucks cause I really just want to start a new chapter in my life and Im finding it hard..

 

Even if its not with a women right away it would be nice to have some good friends to hang out with cause it helps ease the need or dependancy of a women..

 

Its scary because I feel if I do meet a nice women at this point its like she will be the only thing that makes me happy and I dont want that either cause if it doesnt work out I will be right back where I am now

[A.Moscote]

...Im having a BBQ july 5th..Ive invited about 20 people and the only ones with a yes are 3!

...it would be nice to have some good friends to hang out with cause it helps ease the need or dependancy of a women..

So what? Maybe next time they can make it, maybe they really forgot to say "hey thanks", or maybe they just don't feel that close to you. Just forget them this time, and appreciate the three that are coming. Make it a great dine if not a BBQ, you have several weeks to practice your cooking and to plan it anyway. Hopefully it will be a good time (keep us update), who knows if they will bring some other new friends the next time.

 

Be patient, be optimist and take things slowly, you are still healing from past experience. You are handsome and nice (yeah I've read your threads), you will meet someone who would want to share the life with you.

Take care, good luck.

[OnwardandUpward]

Hurt-so-bad tell me please and this is hypothetical

 

if i wanted a relationship with you - here is what i bring to the table

 

I am very intelligent - i am a visionary and problem solver - i am attractive - i am a very positive person - i am a great cook - i am neat and tidy - very organised - i am an incredible artist - i have an amasing family - i am an independent spirit - i am funny and sing ridiculous songs that i make up - i am not afraid to laugh at myself. I have a new car and a house full of furniture - i am starting my own little business.

 

I can look at myself and say those things about myself - even though my marraige is only 3 months ended and i am heartbroken. I truly do not want to spend another day without my husband by my side. I do not want to date, i do not want a man touching me. If my husband does not want me then i choose to be alone. But no matter what - i can look at myself and realise the good in me. No matter how many tears i cry at night - i go to the shop with a big smile. If i am in pain - why should other people be.

 

Now my question - what can you bring to the table? I have read so much pessimism from your comments so i ask now is pessimism what you would offer me in a relationship?

 

What good things can you look into yourself and find?

 

Also i would like to add - that as your girlfriend - i do not want to be what makes you happy - that places too much burden on me - i have my own thoughts, feelings and needs and if my responsibility were to make you happy, then i would find you to be clingy and needy and i would dump you.

 

If i wanted a relationship with you - what do you bring to the table?

[hurts_so_bad]

Hurt-so-bad tell me please and this is hypothetical

 

if i wanted a relationship with you - here is what i bring to the table

 

I am very intelligent - i am a visionary and problem solver - i am attractive - i am a very positive person - i am a great cook - i am neat and tidy - very organised - i am an incredible artist - i have an amasing family - i am an independent spirit - i am funny and sing ridiculous songs that i make up - i am not afraid to laugh at myself. I have a new car and a house full of furniture - i am starting my own little business.

 

I can look at myself and say those things about myself - even though my marraige is only 3 months ended and i am heartbroken. I truly do not want to spend another day without my husband by my side. I do not want to date, i do not want a man touching me. If my husband does not want me then i choose to be alone. But no matter what - i can look at myself and realise the good in me. No matter how many tears i cry at night - i go to the shop with a big smile. If i am in pain - why should other people be.

 

Now my question - what can you bring to the table? I have read so much pessimism from your comments so i ask now is pessimism what you would offer me in a relationship?

 

What good things can you look into yourself and find?

 

Also i would like to add - that as your girlfriend - i do not want to be what makes you happy - that places too much burden on me - i have my own thoughts, feelings and needs and if my responsibility were to make you happy, then i would find you to be clingy and needy and i would dump you.

 

If i wanted a relationship with you - what do you bring to the table?

 

What you said at the end is so very true and I dont want that either..I dont want one person to be the sole reason of my happiness or there is always a threat of being unhappy again if the person leaves...Maybe this time alone is what I need to become content on my own before another comes into the picture..Its taking time because I still get lonely..

 

Its funny cause I was talking to my theropist tonight and I said something that really opened my eyes...At this point Im not content with sitting on the couch watching TV cause I always feel I have to be out there as if the world is going on without me..When I was in a relationship I was completely content with sitting on the couch watching a movie because I had what I wanted..

 

Point is there is nothing wrong with sitting home watching tv single or in a relationship...Right now I think its more of the idea of being in a relationship then anything else..I guess I kind of feel like I have to be with someone as if others are looking at me as a loser or I am afraid that I will grow old alone..

 

What do I bring to the table? Well Im a handsome dude (as others have said in the thread) lol..I have a great personality, I love to goof around and make people laugh..Im very mechanically inclined and can fix almost anything around the house or with cars, I have a good job that pays well, I too have my own small business on ebay selling things I find at garage sales, I own my own home, I love music and like you, I sing when I hear a great song.. I love people and love to mingle and meet new friends, Im a very good pool shooter, I keep myself in shape with karate and the gym, Thats about all I can think of right now..

 

I appreciate the offer of being your boyfriend but your way to far and Im not into long distance relationships...Just Kidding!

Edited May 28, 2014 by hurts_so_bad

[OnwardandUpward]

Point is there is nothing wrong with sitting home watching tv single or in a relationship...Right now I think its more of the idea of being in a relationship then anything else..I guess I kind of feel like I have to be with someone as if others are looking at me as a loser or I am afraid that I will grow old alone..

 

The reason you think others see you as a loser is because your fearing what they think .. i too have the same idea that i am supposed to be with someone or i am a loser .. but reality is that most people who are with someone are all wishing they were with someone else or just alone lol

 

Trust me that as i am talking to you, i am also talking to myself. Fear of growing old and alone - oh my god i know that feeling - it rips my guts and tears my heart but truth is - even a relationship does not gaurantee you will not get old and die alone - your partner may die 8 years before you do - who knows - life could be like a movie the notebook and you die together in your partners arms - we just do not know how it will all end but what we do know is the fear of what may or may not happen.

 

Never once in my life have i been on a rollercoaster - simply because of fear. Well sort of not true - i did get on one once and went spastic when the guy pulled the leaver over me and locked it down - i screamed and screamed and swore my head off until he let me out. But i have never done what so many enjoy simply out of fear.

 

For some reason myself is now alone - i am scared - i am friggen terrified but i cant do anything about it except try and live. For me this does not mean dating because i am inlove with my husband and i am not ready but it does not change the fear - i also broke my back so now i am alone in this world and im broken - but i keep having to wake up everyday and take the initiative to open my world and try and meet people. Or i have to drive 2 hours to see my family.

 

There is nothing wrong with watching tv if thats what you are comfortable to do. I like to play candy crush - i am the queen of candy crush and envied my many - its just what i do in my day and there is nothing wrong with that or you being comfortable watching tv.

What do I bring to the table? Well Im a handsome dude (as others have said in the thread) lol..I have a great personality, I love to goof around and make people laugh..Im very mechanically inclined and can fix almost anything around the house or with cars, I have a good job that pays well, I too have my own small business on ebay selling things I find at garage sales, I own my own home, I love music and like you, I sing when I hear a great song.. I love people and love to mingle and meet new friends, Im a very good pool shooter, I keep myself in shape with karate and the gym, Thats about all I can think of right now..

 

Gee Hurt - you are perfect. If i wasnt in love with my husband i would make a play at you. You showed me a side of you there that i would be tickled pink to have in my world ... the amount of confidence you show in stating those words ... that is the confidence that you need to hold onto and embrace because that is your truth. Your truth is - this is who you are NOW

 

You are not old and you are not dieing. You ARE a handsome home owner with a good job a fun personality and nice and fit and a bonus is you shoot pool.

 

I don't have your answers and i don't have mine - i just think that if you stopped being scared of being alone then you will open the door to new love. I hope i make sense. But seriously you sound like an awesome guy and if there is a lady on here who lives in your area - she would be bloody stupid not to make a play for you.

 

I appreciate the offer of being your boyfriend but your way to far and Im not into long distance relationships...Just Kidding!

 

Well i can guarantee that is long distance hahahaha

[OnwardandUpward]

and hurt - i joined meetup.com and i put some keywords in for my area - so far i have joined two groups - one is for over 40 and this sunday we are getting together for lunch and another is painting and i joined a group to learn to turn people into zombies hahaha how cool.

 

I did not join these groups to get a date or meet a man - i joined them because i need to make a social life of some form for myself and learn new things. I will likely join other groups as well if money allows me.

 

I am rediscovering who i am after 12 years of devotion to him and his 4 kids. I had one here today and she told me to forget her father - i am too good for him. She wants me to date and meet someone and be happy - his own daughter wants this for me. I am not ready for this. She was so proud of the initiative steps i have taken in opening my world.

 

Understand that he took our business, home, my children. I got left out in the world sick, alone and terrified and my back is broken. I have been thru pure hell and its only been the last few month where i can stand and say 'ok thats one health problem done with' now who am i.

 

To save my own sanity i immersed myself in art - and i made plans for a small business. No matter what happens i will be fine because i have an inner strength. I got really really sick and he called our marraige to an end. Marraige should be in sickness and in health. But obviously his and my views are different. So i have no choice but to find and drag out that inner strength and keep on creating a new world and discover self.

 

You have health and fitness on your side. You have 2 years of recovery on your side. I wish you could step into my world for just a moment and know just how blessed you really are. If i can go join a group and meet people - so can you.

[hurts_so_bad]

and hurt - i joined meetup.com and i put some keywords in for my area - so far i have joined two groups - one is for over 40 and this sunday we are getting together for lunch and another is painting and i joined a group to learn to turn people into zombies hahaha how cool.

 

I did not join these groups to get a date or meet a man - i joined them because i need to make a social life of some form for myself and learn new things. I will likely join other groups as well if money allows me.

 

I am rediscovering who i am after 12 years of devotion to him and his 4 kids. I had one here today and she told me to forget her father - i am too good for him. She wants me to date and meet someone and be happy - his own daughter wants this for me. I am not ready for this. She was so proud of the initiative steps i have taken in opening my world.

 

Understand that he took our business, home, my children. I got left out in the world sick, alone and terrified and my back is broken. I have been thru pure hell and its only been the last few month where i can stand and say 'ok thats one health problem done with' now who am i.

 

To save my own sanity i immersed myself in art - and i made plans for a small business. No matter what happens i will be fine because i have an inner strength. I got really really sick and he called our marraige to an end. Marraige should be in sickness and in health. But obviously his and my views are different. So i have no choice but to find and drag out that inner strength and keep on creating a new world and discover self.

 

You have health and fitness on your side. You have 2 years of recovery on your side. I wish you could step into my world for just a moment and know just how blessed you really are. If i can go join a group and meet people - so can you.

 

Good Morning...Well its morning here I dont know what it is there! lol..Well thanks for the compliments and yes I am on meetups.com...I havent really bothered to much as I still have a drivers license issue but I always look at the meets that arent to far away.

 

You mentioned find yourself...In your prior email you told me a ton of things about yourself and personality so it already seems you know yourself so what are you searching for? ..I went threw and I'm still going threw this "Find Myself stage" to some degree..I personaly think way to many of us spend way to much time thinking and searching for something that is just BS..I can be wrong but thats my opinion on this entire find yourself deal.

 

Its hard to get out of our heads at times especially when things in life suck so we search for things to fix..Sometimes its not us that needs fixing but the other people in our lives..Not saying there is no reason to be a better person cause none of us are perfect but that will never change no matter how much we try to be perfect..

 

i ask myself the question all the time..Do other people walk around in their heads wandering who they are? I would guess most dont..They just do life and whatever they feel is right for the time being whether it is the right thing or not..

 

So I am trying my best to get out of that entire WHO AM I deal because I feel its just a waste of time..We know who we are and what we like..You gave an entire list of yourself and so did I..Its not about that..Honestly I dont know what its about but thats ok cause I dont have all the answers and thats ok.None of us do.

 

All I know is that I have wasted to much time of searching for answers on how to fix myself instead of just living my life and trying to be happy..Once your in your head you can create so much chatter it can drive you insane!

 

Ive been there!

[hurts_so_bad]

I would have started a new thread but I didnt want to being most of you on this thread know my story so I dont have to rehash it all... Anyway, Since my wife has left I cant get the feelings of something being inadequate with me in the bedroom and thats why she left and never looked back due to that..

 

Anyway, I have been trying to do the best I can for myself as for working out going to karate, taking care of my home and children but I still feel empty and lonely being I havent found anyone yet...Even my friends seem distant to me lately like I have the plague..

 

I feel all alone at times and find myself meeting up with women on date sites that are not my cup of tea but company! I had this girl come by the other night who I have seen a few times before (no not a hooker! lol) just a girl I had met on the date sites..She is not my cup of tea but as I said company..

 

I spent the last two days with her and she is very bossy and a one upper..everything you say she has a story better.. Anyway last night we ended up messing around....I hadnt had sex in about 2 months and I wont lie to you when I say it took 10 seconds for me to get the sensation that I had to cum...I held it off for maybe 3-4 minutes but I had to move very slow! Then bamb!

 

Afterwards, I couldnt do it again right away and we ended up having an argument during foreplay that she started! She ended up leaving and this is really killing my ego!

 

I feel like I lost the one I love, my friends, I feel all alone and the one thing I feel I have left that keeps me going is killing me! cigarettes! I sometimes feel I have lost my manhood and my will to live even so I have 3 great kids!

 

The thing that kills me is that my ex still tells me she will always love me! I could understand if you hated me not wanting me back but someone who still has love for you not wanting you back makes me feel like there is another issue....The issue I think it is, Is what takes my manhood away! What else can it be?

 

Im sorry for laying this on you guys but my theropist is away this week and I feel like complete **** about myself! I wish I could be the guy who just didnt give a ****! But Im not!

Any advice would be appreciated!

[txgrl]

No, you haven't lost your manhood .

 

Your ex wife is still ****ing with your head by saying those things to you . Some people can be very manipulative and it's an ego boost for them that their ex hasn't gotten over them yet . It's quote cruel .

 

Till you have resolved your feelings about your ex and your 'manhood' , any new relationship will backfire and the more disastrous dating experiences , the more cynical you will become .

 

How's your gambling and drinking ? I think it's wonderful you're taking care of yourself with karate and gym . Try meet up . Meet new people with the idea of making new friends . You sound ( understandably) desperate for company . Oxymoronic ally and ironically , you only meet someone when you're not looking so desperately .

 

Have you confronted your ex about why she says these things if she has no intention to get back together with you? And please doNOT tell us you've been hooking up with her too because that way you will never be able to move on .

 

Again , you have not lost your manhood . It's normal to feel what you feel . We all want companionship and love .

[hurts_so_bad]

No, you haven't lost your manhood .

 

Your ex wife is still ****ing with your head by saying those things to you . Some people can be very manipulative and it's an ego boost for them that their ex hasn't gotten over them yet . It's quote cruel .

 

Till you have resolved your feelings about your ex and your 'manhood' , any new relationship will backfire and the more disastrous dating experiences , the more cynical you will become .

 

How's your gambling and drinking ? I think it's wonderful you're taking care of yourself with karate and gym . Try meet up . Meet new people with the idea of making new friends . You sound ( understandably) desperate for company . Oxymoronic ally and ironically , you only meet someone when you're not looking so desperately .

 

Have you confronted your ex about why she says these things if she has no intention to get back together with you? And please doNOT tell us you've been hooking up with her too because that way you will never be able to move on .

 

Again , you have not lost your manhood . It's normal to feel what you feel . We all want companionship and love .

 

She had said in a text message to me that she will always have love in her heart for me and that she hopes I can find happiness cause I deserve it..

 

I havent been hooking up with her..Maybe if I did I would feel like I was worth something in the sack.. Im just having a very bad day today..I feel all alone with friends who act like they dont want to be bothered, A ex wife who doesnt want to be bothered, women who I only wan tto be bothered with for companionship and to make things worse unsuccessful sex.. Like I am proving my point to why my ex left me!

 

For a man to feel this way about himself makes him feel useless as a man!

[jphcbpa]

You are just having some feelings. Feelings are NOT facts. This too shall pass. Do something nice for yourself today. Treat yourself, pamper yourself.

 

Take out a pen and paper and write out 10 things you are grateful for. FOCUS on those things you have in your life. You are focusing on the negatives and believing a lie.

 

You are not over your ex and should not be sleeping with other women until you get in a better space....especially women you are really not into and just see them as "company". That is not fair to either of you.

[hurts_so_bad]

You are just having some feelings. Feelings are NOT facts. This too shall pass. Do something nice for yourself today. Treat yourself, pamper yourself.

 

Take out a pen and paper and write out 10 things you are grateful for. FOCUS on those things you have in your life. You are focusing on the negatives and believing a lie.

 

You are not over your ex and should not be sleeping with other women until you get in a better space....especially women you are really not into and just see them as "company". That is not fair to either of you.

 

I agree..You are absolutely right but sometimes desperate men do desperate things.. Just like a man who is broke..He is more prone to robbing then someone who has cash..

 

Its a bitch! I thought for sure over two years ago we would be back together or I'd atleast be over this..I dont think its really her anymore that upsets me..Its the fact that I am having a hard time starting new..I just feel 2+ years is to long and it sometimes makes me think that there is something wrong with me..

 

Never in my life did I have a problem with meeting women.. So I guess there isnt anything wrong with me just a bad time in my life or a dry spell as some would call it..