Ex wife asked me to dinner Friday night

[hurts_so_bad]

Having your license and getting back on the road is a great and achievable goal. That will change your life, give you back hours in your day. It's long term, so you have to find a way to get happy in the pockets that you have.

 

Meditation, reading, music, learning a language, I don't know I'm brainstorming. Just something totally different to get you out of that box in the time that you have.

 

Well the license is a crap shoot! It may happen or may never happrn thanks to my great power trip mayor cuomo who changed laws last year stating anyone with 3 dwi convictions can never get their druvers license again...we will see! I already meditate, do yoga at home, and work out...They are all great and feel giod but they do not take the place of a warm body and companionship...lol

[2sunny]

Buy a scooter.

[revitup]

Buy a scooter.

 

Liquorcycle;)

 

REVITUP

[hurts_so_bad]

Just read this thread through with interest and Oberfeldwebel is absolutely right. In fact, nearly everybody else is saying the same thing.

 

All I got from your comments is that you're a lonely, desperate, heart-broken man. A complete doormat to his woman and guess what? She knows it!

 

This seriously isn't good for you and isn't going to work. You MUST focus on yourself, not her! It's time to kick this pathetic whimpering individual into touch. It's time to discard the demons, to have some self-pride, to act with conviction and purpose, to be your own person with a positive personality whilst oozing confidence.

 

If you work on that, then you won't just have the ex at your feet, you'll have hundreds of other girls wanting a piece of the pie too! And guess what? By that time, you probably won't even want your ex because you'll have moved on to a better place in your life.

 

Stop checking your phone. Go 180. If she calls and gives it mumbo jumbo, act barely interested. Women are attracted by independence, masculinity and leadership. You need to find those things - again, work on yourself, not her!

 

Til the day you die, there's only one person that will be with you all the way, and he's in the mirror. It's time to look after him!

 

 

Its been what? Months now? I keep coming back to this post cause it gives me hope! I just want to say thanks and too let you know I am getting there!

[aliveagain]

Hire a student driver. Years ago a friend of mine lost his licence on a DUI for a year. He hired a foreign student as his driver, their always looking for ways to earn easy money that works with their class's. I think he just posted notices on bulletin boards at Colleges and Universities. Perhaps you can give them room and board for driving you, just a thought.

[Tripz]

I'm actually kind of curious what ever happened with the Ex? Maybe you've posted on other threads. I'm too lazy to look it up, if so. Did your ex ever try to have another dinner date again? What's the contact with her been like? Just about the kids or? Did you stick to your guns and continue on like you said you were going to when you wrote that letter?

 

I hope you've come a long way since this past summer. I feel for you and how you were feeling back then. Advice on here it usually spot on, but the day to day struggle each of us goes through is ours alone. Today was a very bad day earlier for me and I felt like I regressed some. I brought myself out of my self-pity a lot quicker this time, so I can tell I am making progress. I hope your progress has been markedly better since this thread was first started.

[hurts_so_bad]

I'm actually kind of curious what ever happened with the Ex? Maybe you've posted on other threads. I'm too lazy to look it up, if so. Did your ex ever try to have another dinner date again? What's the contact with her been like? Just about the kids or? Did you stick to your guns and continue on like you said you were going to when you wrote that letter?

 

I hope you've come a long way since this past summer. I feel for you and how you were feeling back then. Advice on here it usually spot on, but the day to day struggle each of us goes through is ours alone. Today was a very bad day earlier for me and I felt like I regressed some. I brought myself out of my self-pity a lot quicker this time, so I can tell I am making progress. I hope your progress has been markedly better since this thread was first started.

 

Thanks for your concern and yes things are getting better for me day by day..I learned its time that heals wounds..Its as simple as that..I do have a lot going on..Im going to karate now and still hit the gym as much as possible..Im still working with an attorney regarding the license issue but in the meantime I am going to have my car insured and registered soon so that when my son is here he can drive us if we want to go somewhere..It will work out great especially in the summer if we want to take a ride to the shore or whatever..

 

Nothing has happened since the dinner date incedint..Just talk very shortly when its about the kids..Im learning to let her go day by day..I am still seeing a theropist too but a new one...Im not so sure the old one was the right one for me even so she was only $20 a session compared to this new guy who is $150! Just hope I get my monies worth! lol..

 

Still struggling from time to time with who I want to be as a man and that bothers me but its getting easier as the smoke clears.. I thought it would be easy dating and it sometimes gets to me that I see so many other guys with women they love and I question myself like there is something wrong with me cause I havent..But I have learned that when its not your top priority anymore it comes...

 

I think its better to just try and be the best man I can be and to be as grateful as possible for what I do have instead of focusing on what I dont..If I can truely accomplish that then I will be happier in my life and not have the need for someone else to bring happiness into it for me.. Its a work in progress but I am getting there cause I am starting to feel a difference.. If it takes a person who is content in their life 3 years to find someone they wont think it was so long because they werent in constant need of it or constantly focused on it..If it takes someone 3 years who is constantly focused on it it will feel like forever!

 

Ive slowed down alot with everything even the dating sites! I go on, If I have mail I respond. If not I close it..No more searching for me cause its just a waste half the time..Im not letting it get to me the way I used to cause its a crazy crazy game!

 

Its not easy especially since there are soo soo many flakes out there that tease you and never come threw..I have girls I met on the dating sites that I talk to for a few days then they fall off the map to call a month later to say hi and when you try and make a date again they disappear or tell you they want to see you, make a date then you dont hear from them again! lol..Really what is wrong with people!? Thats really the only thing that bothers me as a man...I dont know what to do with these sorts of people..Part of me says that when they call, to treat them the same way they treat me and be flakey back cause it might just work.. Other part of me says just to ignore them completely but that will never get me anything! Last is to just call them out and ask them if they are f@@ked up in the head? lol..

 

Life is a game and its filled with strategies..Some you will win with others you will lose..Its a mater of what strategy to play to win..

 

Its a really crazy game! Dont know what the hell happened to people! I think to many people read these stupid ass dating books that has them acting nuts! Im used to old school..If I liked you and we went on a date I never had to worry about when I should call again! If the interest is mutual calling someone the next day to say hi shouldnt be an issue..These days you have these books that say wait a week..Sorry but to me thats just friggin wierd! but it seems like people actually follow this crap and thats part of the problem IMO.. Its a crazy crazyworld we live in!

[2sunny]

Looks like progress - good for you!

[Porridge]

Its been what? Months now? I keep coming back to this post cause it gives me hope! I just want to say thanks and too let you know I am getting there!

 

Hey OP. Quite a coincidence as I haven't been on here for a few months, then the first post I look at is yours and a reference to something I said!

 

Glad you're making progress, and it doesn't matter if it's drip-drip progress or gushing waterfall progress, as long as it's PROGRESS and you're heading in the right direction. Never berate yourself for not healing quicker than you think you should. For every day in the present that you struggle, know that you're gaining inner strength and resolve which will serve you in the future.

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey OP. Quite a coincidence as I haven't been on here for a few months, then the first post I look at is yours and a reference to something I said!

 

Glad you're making progress, and it doesn't matter if it's drip-drip progress or gushing waterfall progress, as long as it's PROGRESS and you're heading in the right direction. Never berate yourself for not healing quicker than you think you should. For every day in the present that you struggle, know that you're gaining inner strength and resolve which will serve you in the future.

 

 

Yes it is drip drip progress for sure but it is progress..Threw all this I noticed a lot of things that bothered me with certain friends (or so called) my ex, and other women I have or havent met with online dating.. Seems like I wasnt getting the respect I deserved and that really bothered me..

 

So I came up with a philosophy to never treat anyone better then they deserve or how they treat me...

 

My friend/neighbor next door used to hang out all the time..But I noticed since he has another buddy across the street he will pass right by my house and go to his much of the time now..This pissed me off cause your supposed to be my friend too..So I said f@@k him I am not bothering..I stopped bothering for about a month..On superbowl sunday I came home from a friends house after the game and he was standing outside..He said come over and hang out for a few so I did..

 

In doing so I guess I was so happy to see him and interact with him I acted like nothing had happened or that I wasnt mad about anything when I should have been a little more standoffish..Instead I was like a kid in a candy store acting as if I wasnt bothered by his previous actions..

 

Yesterday my ex called me to tell me a friend of mine that I havent heard from in a while had a heart attack and that he is fine but I should call him..I was so happy to hear from her figuring 2 things..1.She could have text me this as she has done before when people I know died! 2.So there must be a reason and that reason must be that she must want to talk to me. I kept the conversation going with her for like 20 minutes where we were both laughing..

 

I realize now though that due to me feeling lonely at times I am not sticking to my guns and I am allowing people to dictate my life..My neighbor acts like a d@@k for a month then when he wants to be bothered I am right there with bells on acting like how he has treated me is just fine..

 

My ex calls when she wants and finds a jolly guy willing to talk to her for 20 minutes when I should have just turned around and said ok thanks, I will give him a call and ended the convo..Instead I give a person the time of day who I myself am afraid to call her cause she may tell him she is busy or shut me down..

 

I think with her its a bit different and thats where I was getting confused..I was always the one who was the f@@k up and miserable half the time so in my eyes I still kinda want to show her that I can be happy so I give it a little more effort but the truth is..I said what I had to say in the past and she shot it down..

 

No matter what a person does wrong, If the other leaves you for it, It may make sense to say I am sorry a few times in the beginning to try and work things out but at some point you have to stand your ground and say now I need to be a man and have some pride and walk away with the attitude that I tried, You dont want me now I show you nothing more! Instead of bowing down at their every wim...

 

Fact is that I am lonely and I am trying to be as nice as I can in fear of losing people. even flaky women I meet online that I havent even met yet! Its time for me (lonely or not) to stick by my guns and treat people the way they deserve instead of kissing ass!

 

Looking back on all the interactions with everyone its like they are dictating who I am! they will be my friend on their terms and I just accept it..No more!

 

I know damn well that once I stick to my guns and actually treat people the way they derserve to be treated and STOP KISSING ASS things for me will change! especially with my ex cause she too many times has tested my interest..for someone to do that there is a reason! Whether she deep down still really loves me and is just blinded by my stupidity of always being available or she just doesnt want anyone else to have me there is a reason..Once I am no longer readily available to people who arent for me,I know there will be a reaction regardless of the true interntion of the reaction..

 

Even if I am wrong I will have then taken my power and my pride back!

[Chi townD]

Its as simple as this! I am still hurting and nothing is going to change that! Not AA, Not theropy, NOthing until I get over it..My schedule consists of this! up at 4:15am...Catch my bus at 4:50am..At work at 7am..Leave work at 3pm..Catch my bus home at 4:15pm..get home at 6pm...Feed dogs, clean house, eat dinner, AA meetings when I can, Theropy once a week...When in the world am I supposed to find time to help others!?

 

 

That's your biggest problem right there! You're existing, you're not living.

 

You need to find something that you can do that's going to give you a little happiness. It could be something really simple. Like setting aside a little money from each paycheck until you can afford to buy a Mountain bike. Then, when you have a little time for YOURSELF! Take it on some mountain trails or forest trails. Or train for a Mud Run. Those are fun! The Warrior Dash or Spartan Run or Run for your Lives! Gives you something to train for and something to look forward to.

 

Or save and get a hiking backpack and equipment and go hiking in the national parks!

 

Or save a little money and buy a guitar or piano and learn how to play. Anything that will give you some pleasure.

[Porridge]

Chi's spot on, you need to discover a passion. Even then, it won't miraculously cure everything but it will help your progress and self-esteem.

 

I'm not a lot different in some respects. I get torn between valuing my own space whilst also being lonely. A few weeks ago I started seeing this girl on a sort of 'platonic and see how it goes' basis, which was nice for the company. However, she has some totally bizarre ways and can be quite emotionally aggressive.

 

As I continued to see her, I noticed that she got more bossy as she became more comfortable. That was when I had to stop and take stock. I've just finished with one abusive relationship and whilst I in no way think this latest one was deliberately abusive, she did conduct herself in a manner which I should not have tolerated in the first place. Hence i've now pulled away and won't speak to her again.

 

Prior to that I briefly saw another woman who clearly had 'baggage' and just wanted to find a man to offload her problems onto. That was nother bullet swiftly dodged. The mission to find somebody 'normal' is proving considerably more difficult than one would think!

 

But hey, this is life and there will be all sorts of things waiting round the corner. Be positive and the good times will come!

[hurts_so_bad]

That's your biggest problem right there! You're existing, you're not living.

 

You need to find something that you can do that's going to give you a little happiness. It could be something really simple. Like setting aside a little money from each paycheck until you can afford to buy a Mountain bike. Then, when you have a little time for YOURSELF! Take it on some mountain trails or forest trails. Or train for a Mud Run. Those are fun! The Warrior Dash or Spartan Run or Run for your Lives! Gives you something to train for and something to look forward to.

 

Or save and get a hiking backpack and equipment and go hiking in the national parks!

 

Or save a little money and buy a guitar or piano and learn how to play. Anything that will give you some pleasure.

 

Im not going to drag in all the past BS cause thats past...As you all know I was stuck due to the fact of not driving.. But thats no longer such a huge problem for me anymore..It is but I am not putting to much focus on it anymore cause one way or another this year **** is gonna hit the fan with that whether they give me my license back or not! I just got off the phone earlier with insurance companies to insure my car as my son as a driver so atleast if my kids and I want to go somewhere in the summer we can with my son as the driver..

 

I have recently started going to karate which I always wanted to learn and its a great thing! I hit the gym still when the kid I go with has time and I get to karate a few times a week which not only keeps me in shape but will teach me what I always wanted to learn so its like killing two birds with one stone..

 

I see chicks here and there but no one I am really interested in but my day will come and atleast I have chicks in my life to talk to and hang out with from time to time when many others dont.. I am trying to keep my attitude positive ane be as grateful as I can for everything I do have which makes me feel much better and I absolutely believe in the law of attraction!

 

So I am getting past all that old BS.. I guess I am going threw stages with all of this cause one thing passes and another comes up..Maybe thats the course of healing..I dont know, Never been threw this before for so long cause I was younger years ago and had more friends, more freedom, and age on my side...As we all know, things just arent that easy when your in your 40's!

 

Im just at a point now where I am tired of taking peoples sh@t! What bothers me is sometimes I dont know how to react to it but I am getting there..In my past post I mentioned my neighbor and his BS and flakey women with their BS..You hate to throw people out of your life cause if I did that to everyone who pissed me off at one point or another I'd have no friends at all..I also dont like to be straight out on alot of things cause it just feels weird to me..So Im looking for the proper coarse or action I guess to deal with people like this...

 

When I say "never treat people better then how they deserve to be treated or how they treat you" it kinda gives me the answers I need but its still a work in progress I guess cause I have to stick by it instead of melting and just giving to much to people who do not deserve it as soon as they are cool with me again..Instead I should give them less (as they gave me) and let them earn the respect that I give them..

 

Its funny how you shut people down for a few weeks or a month and they come looking for you! But if you just slide back into being a woos again they same ole things happen!

 

I have been watching these dating video's on Youtube by this guy corey wayne who is a relationship coach..Alot of times in relationships guys become too needy and the women stick them in friend zone or break up with them..Once the guy shows confidence again the girl wants him again but after a little bit he becomes needy again falling back into the same rut and losing her again..Sort of the same thing I mean..If your going to treat people how they deserve to be treated you have to stick to it and not revert back to the old game

[hurts_so_bad]

Well guys/gals..I wrote my ex a letter regarding how I feel and our divorce..I gave it to her the other day just below is the letter and then her texts to me..Looking to see what you think...

 

I was thinking about everything today and wanted to write you to tell you how I feel..

Its been long overdue and I guess I just want to tell you..For the past 2 years now I actually hated your guts! You leaving me and being with another man torn my heart out..It killed me cause it made me feel like less of a man and that the person your with is better then me.. That’s why I had such hate..

 

Now that time has passed by I realize, that no other man is better then me.. You left me because of me! What I did in the past and mostly what I failed to do that drove your heart away! What I mean by that is, I know all the crazy bull**** I put you threw drove you crazy but worse it’s the loving, holding, affection and attention that I failed at with you and I am sorry…

 

I look back now and I realize how much of an idiot I was to take such a beautiful loving wife and my kids for granted! Instead of going out and getting drunk, I should have been home! Instead of staying out all night drinking and gambling, I should have been home! Instead of hanging out in some idiots garage or on their porch, I should have been home!

 

Threw the past two years I asked myself why you never came back to me and my conclusion was that the guy you are with must be better then me in some way! I was too blind to see that was not the truth but an excuse to be mad at you rather then to be mad at myself and take the responsability for me ****ing things up!

 

 

When I put it in a different perspective and look at it from your point of view, I wouldn’t have come back to me either! Where was the love? The fun? The passion? The attentiveness? After all was said and done I never even remember telling you that I was sorry for the way I treated you because I was to mad and hurt myself..

 

At this point I just want to tell you how sorry I really am that I wasn’t the husband you deserved…I did love you with all my heart but never could show it…I wish that I could take it all back and start new but its too late for that now.. I do forgive you for what you did but I will ever forget or trust you again even if we had a chance with working things out..

 

All I want to do is move on and be happy and I wish you the same, I honestly do..We have three great kids together and you will always be a part of my life but just in a different way..So with that said, I think its time to finalize what we need to finalize..

 

I have a few weeks off starting tomorrow..I would like to get something done then.. I asked a while ago and you said that remaining separated and not getting a divorce is not about my medical coverage, that you didn’t feel we should close the book just yet. If that’s truly the case then lets get done what we have too get done. Its been a long time and even so it sucks big time! Its time…

 

 

Ok I will get the papers when I get a chance, Unfortunately I work till 6:30 every night..If the court is open on saturday I can do then..Ur a good man and deserve much happiness..We were both young when we got married and both made stupid of mistakes.

 

 

Trust me when I tell you that you are the better man not him and I did look back you just didnt know it..I will always have love in my heart for you and hope we can be there as a team for our kids..I dont hate you, never did and never will..I Only wish the best for you and hope you find happiness u deserve it!

 

Thank you for the letter and your apology is more then accepted..

 

Sometimes I feel like such a beta male and think I shouldnt have wrote her anything but on the other side of the coin, I know all the damage I did to the marriage and feel I should say something..Do you think it was a betta male move even so I told her it was time to close the book?

 

What do you guys make of that her response? You know I was raised in a very negative family and tend to take things as the glass half empty but I also think Im think pretty logical as well and tell things how I see them...With her saying "trust me when I tell you, you are the better man, not him" Leads me to believe she is either pissed at him or just patronizing me.. I want to look at this in a good light but if I am the better man why are you still with him? Makes no sense..

Can anyone make heads or tails of that?

Edited February 25, 2014 by hurts_so_bad

[trippi1432]

Hey Hurts - first of all, don't dwell on the response too much in over analyzing. Whether they are in the outs or not, doesn't matter. What does is matter is she has stated that you were a good man. Just be happy for that.

 

As for alpha male/beta male, don't worry, you are still definitely alpha....recognizing your part and admitting to things is not being beta, it's personal growth. Even alphas have to let their ego down a bit to grow. There were still traits of alpha in that letter, so you did just fine. Much better apology than I would ever get from my exH. Mine actually said I'm sorry I didn't treat you better, and I do her (his AP). I really don't know why....lol! Now HE is, was and will always be a beta male.

 

Hopefully everything goes smooth with the papers. Sometimes there is relief in that part of letting go. Hopefully what you get to is being able to let go with love.....for some it does take time. Hang in there.

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey Hurts - first of all, don't dwell on the response too much in over analyzing. Whether they are in the outs or not, doesn't matter. What does is matter is she has stated that you were a good man. Just be happy for that.

 

As for alpha male/beta male, don't worry, you are still definitely alpha....recognizing your part and admitting to things is not being beta, it's personal growth. Even alphas have to let their ego down a bit to grow. There were still traits of alpha in that letter, so you did just fine. Much better apology than I would ever get from my exH. Mine actually said I'm sorry I didn't treat you better, and I do her (his AP). I really don't know why....lol! Now HE is, was and will always be a beta male.

 

Hopefully everything goes smooth with the papers. Sometimes there is relief in that part of letting go. Hopefully what you get to is being able to let go with love.....for some it does take time. Hang in there.

 

Hey Trippi

It doesnt really matter to me if they are on the outs or not..It bothers me to think that I have become the nice guy in some respect..To think that she thinks Im a good guy sort of annoyes me cause thats the story you get from most women who dont want anything to do with you... "Your a really good guy BUT! That sort of thing..It bothers me to think I have become the nice guy when all the bad boys seem to get what they want!

 

There has to be a reason why if Im a better men then him why she is with him...Im honestly getting to the point of being content with my life without her but it urks me to think that Im missing out because Im acting or doing things the wrong way..example, being to nice, friendly etc..

 

Threw all this I did alot of changing..I came up with a motto I firmly believe in..Which is.. Never treat anyone better then they deserve to be treated or how they treat you... It sort of gives me the answers I need when people in my life are aholes!

 

Using this motto I will from now on be cordial with her just like she is with me but never show to much interest just as she doesnt with me..

 

Im just getting tired of feeling like its all the aholes in this world reaping the rewards so its time for me to change things a bit..I will never be an ahole but somewhere inbetween a nice guy (pushover) and ahole there is a good guy who treats people well but takes no sh@t! Thats who I am going to be from here on out..

[RightThere]

Hey Trippi

It doesnt really matter to me if they are on the outs or not..It bothers me to think that I have become the nice guy in some respect..To think that she thinks Im a good guy sort of annoyes me cause thats the story you get from most women who dont want anything to do with you... "Your a really good guy BUT! That sort of thing..It bothers me to think I have become the nice guy when all the bad boys seem to get what they want!

 

I don't think you're looking at it properly. Previously you were the bad boy, and your ex-wife decided she didn't want you. Now you think because you are a good guy, your ex-wife doesn't want you.

 

It's neither. She's just not with you. Probably a combination of reasons, but don't spend your time focusing on trying to understand someone else. Just focus on what is best for you. If that's being a good guy now, then just do it because it's good for you, not because you think that is what your ex should have.

[hurts_so_bad]

I don't think you're looking at it properly. Previously you were the bad boy, and your ex-wife decided she didn't want you. Now you think because you are a good guy, your ex-wife doesn't want you.

 

It's neither. She's just not with you. Probably a combination of reasons, but don't spend your time focusing on trying to understand someone else. Just focus on what is best for you. If that's being a good guy now, then just do it because it's good for you, not because you think that is what your ex should have.

 

You are right and what works for me is to be a good guy right in between a nice guy and a bad boy...Nice guys are usually to nice and get taken advantage of..bad boys well they just dont give a sh@t about anyone but themselves..So I figure a good middle ground is where I am at now.

 

Your right I was the bad boy but after all that has happened I kinda changed into the nice guy for a while...Now its time to be a good guy who treats people accordingly

[Speakingofwhich]

That was a great and articulate alpha male letter, hurtsomuch! First time to post but I've followed this thread. Any woman would respect a man for writing that letter!

[2sunny]

I don't think it matters one way or the other. You can't change the past.

 

She and you both acknowledged it's best to finalize the D.

 

That is what you've wanted to know for two years. Now you have the closure and ability to formally get things finished knowing it is over.

 

It may be possible to download forms from the internet and file them electronically.

 

It's something you can do while you're off work - instead of expecting her to do it while she's busy working.

 

That is something you can handle for her.

[hurts_so_bad]

That was a great and articulate alpha male letter, hurtsomuch! First time to post but I've followed this thread. Any woman would respect a man for writing that letter!

 

 

Thank you! Sometimes its hard to decide whats right or wrong but sometimes is not about that cause in some cases we just dont know..Its more about what you feel you need to do regardless of the outcome..

[2sunny]

I do think this is good progress for you.

 

 

I also think it's best to get the papers filed instead of having her do that task.

 

Think of it as a gift to both you and her - just get done what needs to be done at this point.

 

Take the lead - so to speak.

[Speakingofwhich]

Thank you! Sometimes its hard to decide whats right or wrong but sometimes is not about that cause in some cases we just dont know..Its more about what you feel you need to do regardless of the outcome..

 

That's why it was alpha male! You knew you needed to do it and did it to be true to yourself. That shows strength! Her response seems to indicate she respected the letter and has noted your personal growth. You have effectively dealt with the past, tied it in a bow and are moving on. Excellent!

[hurts_so_bad]

That's why it was alpha male! You knew you needed to do it and did it to be true to yourself. That shows strength! Her response seems to indicate she respected the letter and has noted your personal growth. You have effectively dealt with the past, tied it in a bow and are moving on. Excellent!

 

 

Trying to move on! lol...Still a lot of work to do on myself..This entire thing turned my world upside down and Im still not 100% confident with myself yet...Still question myself when it comes to women but Im getting there I guess!!!

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey guys/gals

 

I have been talking to a bunch of different women lately and I have a date tonight with a girl who seems really cute..I met her online so Im only going by her pics, talking to her on the phone once and just texting back and forth a few times.

 

She seems to have a good sense of humor as I hung up on her twice by mistake the first time I called her cause my cell phone died..I called her as soon as I plugged it in to the charger not realizing it still wasnt connected to the charger right and it died again when I called her back! lol

 

She just laughed it off..Im a bit nervous to be honest..The whole deal with my ex sent me for a loop and Im still not as confident as I would want to be especially with the drivers license issue..Im going to meet her out but it kind of worries me to see her reaction when I tell her I took a cab and I have an issue with my license.. But thats something I cant avoid!

 

As for everything else it still worries me if Im good enough! I read and watch a lot of these dating videos and they all tell you how to act, what to say, how to stand, dont cross your arms, dont fidget, SH@t! even how to walk! ...I dont know if these guys are onto something or not but it just seems so mechanical! As Im not being myself..

 

I have read stories on LS how guys who were devestated by their ex and still moarning, crying to a female co worked who ended up falling in love with them! So you dont know what to believe at times! I guess it all comes down to the right person at the right time..

 

As for dating though, I know it basically comes down to confidence, Women love confidence! I am a very confident guy with many aspects of my life except for a few. Women as of late are not one of them unless she is someone I have absolutely NO interest in, Then I feel I can just be myself without fear of rejection..Funny isnt it? But so true!

 

Guess I have to still learn not to put anyone on a pedestal above myself..We all sh@t and bleed the same but its not an easy task at times!

 

Wish me luck!