Is the world trying to screw me over?!

[tuxedo cat]

His age as it pertains to where he is in life may very well play a role in his success or lack thereof.

 

However tuxedo's notion that his height is one of those factors keeping him from having success is off base as there are a number of men on this site, myself included who are below average height and do very well with women.

 

I didn't say his height was the only factor. It's a combination of several factors -- age, height, accomplishment, social context.

[MrCastle]

I didn't say his height was the only factor. It's a combination of several factors -- age, height, accomplishment, social context.

 

You can make a case for all but I disagree with height.

 

I've seen short men have success with all kinds of women, including taller ones.

 

And despite what people may think, the short men in question weren't male models with ripped abs and giant dongs and millions in their bank account to compensate for their height.

 

They were average looking guys with average lives who just happened to be short.

 

They can get dates, and so could SD if he cleared up the other things you mentioned.

[xxoo]

LOL that's not what I'm saying at all.

 

I'm simply saying that being fat is a choice that can be changed any time the girl wants.

 

I'm also saying that any short guy (any guy at all, in fact) could start getting girls whenever they choose to if they change their mindsets, habits, attitude, etc.

 

And some fat women get lots of guys.

 

Still, there is a disadvantage to being a short guy or a fat woman. It can certainly be overcome in either case (even without changing that factor).

[Els]

You can make a case for all but I disagree with height.

 

I've seen short men have success with all kinds of women, including taller ones.

 

And despite what people may think, the short men in question weren't male models with ripped abs and giant dongs and millions in their bank account to compensate for their height.

 

They were average looking guys with average lives who just happened to be short.

 

They can get dates, and so could SD if he cleared up the other things you mentioned.

 

I don't think anyone has said that you need to be 'male models with ripped abs and giant dongs and millions in their bank account' to make up for height.

[sweetkiwi]

I can't do it when you're looking

 

I dont get it. You need a sneak attack?? Listen I am probably one of the easiest women to talk to. And if you cant find crap to talk to me about then there's your problem right there. Stop worrying about being interesting or funny or whatever and be you. Oh and give the girls who show interest in YOU a chance.

 

Just because your dick doesn't jump at them doesn't mean you wont be interested in them if you simply look beyond.

[aed]

@OP

 

Just take an hole different approach.

 

First a real life example: I am a little younger then you and I am not interested in girls minus 10 years my age. Even 6 years is debatable.

Last year I had an small talk with a girl in a bar. I asked her what here age was. She said 19. I was 28 at that time. She asked mine: I said I am to old (but in a flirty way) she said she thought I was 24 (normally people gues my exact age).

I said no I am years older then that. We talked some more. The next day she asked a friend of mine of mine about me and what age I was. He tolled her and she said to bad but that is far to old (I agree!)

 

You are not an celiberty and some girls are realy into older guys. and the older a girl becomes the age is becoming less importent. So: a girl that is 26 will have less of a problem dating a guy that is 34. Then an 19 year old girl that is dating a guy that is 28. Same goes for a guy I think. Most of my friends don't want to date a girl that is 19. There is too much of a gap between the two worlds. The older we get that gap is closing. If you look at male friendships you see the same thing. When you are 16 you mostly have friends around that age sometimes 19 or 20 but this is rare.

When people turn 35 they can have friends that are 44 or 30.

 

So you are searching for a girl in the wrong crowd. If I want a black girl, I shouldn;t be looking at white peoples crowd.

 

Second:

 

If you are struggling fo 18 years. does it mather if you go on 1 more year without? (because deep down inside you know you are not going to die, not going to commit suicide or you would have dan that after 17 years or 16 years. And if you are: then why are posting on LS?)

 

Stop focussing on dating, getting girls. Just take your mind of it completely: this means:

 

- stop mastrubating on porn, fantasy etc as much as possible (set a 3 months goal, when you reach that, dont start the old habbit but set an other goal for 3 months).

- stop watching porn, reading playboy, HMH etc.

- stop constanly looking around to spot hot girls or girls.

- stop checking them out. Look in there eyes, not their breasts etc....

- stop reading forums, books articels etc about it. Even a news article about infidelity is off.

- no prostitutes, strippers etc. (only when friends are going for fun to a stripclub it will be okay, but dont get any lapdances etc.).

 

still keep doing the things you are doing: going out, going to classes etc. Still talk with girls like you are doing now. Be social and fun (just focus on that!)

When the feeling or thought comes up I MUST ask her out. dont react on it.

Just do things to start knowing people. If it are cute or ugly girls, it doesn;t mather because you promised your self you are taking a break of your focus and desire for dating and girls for a year.

 

Also stop with LS for a month, no reading nothing. stop letting your mind get distractive with these forums. Because lets be real: it is nice to have an discussion, but I you are searching for advise a magic bullet it is a not a great place (to many different opions!)

 

When You did this come back after 8 weeks.

 

And tell how your life looks at that time. Do you feel the same, different etc.

Edited March 14, 2013 by aed

[ThaWholigan]

I actually agree that Somedude should talk to some older girls closer to his age as well as the young girls. Not a complete switch but a wider focus. He perhaps mistakenly believes that a younger girl (while hotter due to youth possibly) will match him in experience in life/dating. I actually think he may do better with girls outside of college.

[sweetjasmine]

Women can lose weight though. That's the difference.

 

And exactly what difference does that make to SD's life?

[MrCastle]

I don't think anyone has said that you need to be 'male models with ripped abs and giant dongs and millions in their bank account' to make up for height.

 

Men and women alike have both said things like

 

"You're short? Well then you better..."

 

-work out and have a great body

-have a good paying job

-dress well

-have a killer personality

-etc etc

 

Pretty much saying if you don't have other qualities that are exceptional, you're done. Average short men can get laid. You don't have to be an extraordinary short man to get women.

[Mme. Chaucer]

The world is not trying to screw you over. The world is not against you or for you. The world just IS.

 

And "the world" could not give a flying f*** whether any of us have a boyfriend, girlfriend, are tall or short, or anything.

 

"The World Is Against Me" is actually a very ego-driven perspective.

[Mme. Chaucer]

See, the whole reason why I think the world is against me is because I know that I'm a decent guy who can make a girl really happy. I see nothing about myself that is an obvious red flag. All I need is someone to give me a chance. But in the 31 years I've been alive, I've never received that chance.

 

 

Ever consider how the "fat," ugly girls and those in your age range might think EXACTLY the same thing? That they're decent, could make a man happy and just need a chance?

 

Not saying that YOU need to be the one to give any of them a chance; not at all. But the way you're looking at those women? Is exactly the same way lots of women are looking at you.

[somedude81]

Dude you are 32 years old in college and going after attractive women 18-22. Of course you're always going to get rejected. They are probably creeped out by you to start with because you're older than everyone else. Go for chicks your own age and maybe you'll have a shot.

This "issue" always comes but it really is a complete non-issue. Nobody on campus knows how old I am. Last year I was out with a couple of girls from my dance class and they asked how old I was. I told them 23 and they left it at that.

 

I'll tell a girl my age after I get a date with her. There is no point any earlier.

 

And no, girls don't think I'm a creep. I'm not sure how you even came to that conclusion.

It also seems like women are completely interchangeable to you, which is gross.

Uh, what are you trying to say?

I just noticed you live in SoCal.

 

I live in Santa Barbara. Want to go out and meet girls sometime?

 

Not joking.

That sounds cool. Do you have anything in mind? I live in LA county close to the coast.

Problem is, none of us think he has what it takes to change his attitude. I mean it's been 5 years and 10K posts since he joined LS. It shouldn't take that long to figure out what's wrong and fix it.

It's all about how I interact with women.

 

That is what the problem has always been and will always be until I change it.

 

Nothing else matters.

 

I'm not good looking enough for women to be initially interested in me so I have to win them over.

Yeah but you're not a student. Even if the woman doesn't know what you do she has no reason to assume you're unemployed or unaccomplished -- while she would in SD's case since he's in the same classes with her.

Perhaps you should change your name to Negative Nancy.

I dont get it. You need a sneak attack?? Listen I am probably one of the easiest women to talk to. And if you cant find crap to talk to me about then there's your problem right there. Stop worrying about being interesting or funny or whatever and be you.

If I knew you in person I'd have problem talking to you.

 

Oh and give the girls who show interest in YOU a chance.

 

Just because your dick doesn't jump at them doesn't mean you wont be interested in them if you simply look beyond.

They make my dick cower in fear.

 

Do you want to see a picture of these girls? I can show it to you in a PM and you can tell me if I should give them a chance.

Ever consider how the "fat," ugly girls and those in your age range might think EXACTLY the same thing? That they're decent, could make a man happy and just need a chance?

 

Not saying that YOU need to be the one to give any of them a chance; not at all. But the way you're looking at those women? Is exactly the same way lots of women are looking at you.

God I hope not.

 

Because that means that women are far more shallow then I ever thought they were.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Women can lose weight though. That's the difference.

 

OK, let's just change the hypothetical woman to a 32 year old UGLY woman. Better?

[somedude81]

OK, let's just change the hypothetical woman to a 32 year old UGLY woman. Better?

Ugly women who aren't fat are actually very rare.

 

The most common reason for a woman to be ugly, is because she's overweight. And that has a solution.

[xxoo]

Oh and give the girls who show interest in YOU a chance.

 

Just because your dick doesn't jump at them doesn't mean you wont be interested in them if you simply look beyond.

 

Exactly.

 

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[ScreamingTrees]

Either go for women your own age, or lose weight, put on muscle, get new clothes, and find social skill-building classes. Perhaps see a therapist for awhile, as you seem to have had progress with one and quickly dropped that when they started figuring out what made you tick.

 

You may believe that you do not need to do these things, but they're all things which would passively help you over time. It's the willingness to better yourself in all facets of your life that will ultimately help you. Your unwillingness will be your stagnation.

 

Those things may sound easier said than done, and they may be redundant, but these are the major game changers, and nothing is going to really change in that respect. Maybe in time you'll be in a different state of mind where you'll think "Why not just give this a try until I see some results? Even a year or two of putting in a strong effort to see where it gets me couldn't hurt.."

 

If you do not change, you will never achieve any of the things that you want. That is all that I can say.

Edited March 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Off-topic content redacted

[Eternal Sunshine]

OK, let's just change the hypothetical woman to a 32 year old UGLY woman. Better?

 

Or we can change it to 32 yo woman that has a disfigured face due to a genetic condition. She should be given the same chance as a woman with a pretty face. After all, what happened was beyond her control and she can't change it.

 

Will the men give her the same chance? haha

[MrCastle]

Or we can change it to 32 yo woman that has a disfigured face due to a genetic condition. She should be given the same chance as a woman with a pretty face. After all, what happened was beyond her control and she can't change it.

 

Will the men give her the same chance? haha

 

I don't understand this one. Are you saying if the roles were reversed, women would give a man with a disfigured face the same chance as they would a man with a normal face?

 

How about instead of using fat women, or disfigured women as the counterpart to short men, we use--*gasp*...tall women.

[somedude81]

Hmm, if a girl isn't giving any signs that she's interested, is there any point in asking her out, or should I just ignore her?

 

We had some fun banter for a several classes a week or two ago but now I don't know. I really do wonder if she realized that I could be interested and she wants to avoid me now.

 

I talked to her after class but I almost felt like she was walking a little too fast to the bathroom to get rid of me.

Edited March 14, 2013 by somedude81

[PJKino]

Sd has his issues but i see women came out and showed their true colors saying a short man is the equaivalent of an ugly women and shouldnt have high standards

 

and people wonder why i say women are even more shallow then men

[xxoo]

Sd has his issues but i see women came out and showed their true colors saying a short man is the equaivalent of an ugly women and shouldnt have high standards

 

and people wonder why i say women are even more shallow then men

 

It's mostly SD himself claiming he is overlooked because he is short. I don't agree with him about that. Personally, I like men on the shorter side.

 

But to hear him be outraged about that, and then overlook interested women based on physical features....that boggles my mind.

[MrCastle]

Sd has his issues but i see women came out and showed their true colors saying a short man is the equaivalent of an ugly women and shouldnt have high standards

 

and people wonder why i say women are even more shallow then men

 

You have to admit, some of the examples women use sometimes to explain their disdain for shorter men are a bit extreme. Which is why I think it's best to use the tall woman comparison. It's height related, most men aren't *looking* for taller women but may date one just like most women aren't looking for short men but may date one.

 

I don't think we need stuff like "what if she was morbidly obese and needed to be cut out of her house?", "what if she was exposed to radiation and now has the scaly skin texture of an iguana", "what if her arms are where her legs should be and her legs are where her arms should be"

[iKING]

"what if her arms are where her legs should be and her legs are where her arms should be"

 

Is that a thing now?

 

At least she'd have a job with the ringling brothers.

[SteveC80]

You have to admit, some of the examples women use sometimes to explain their disdain for shorter men are a bit extreme. Which is why I think it's best to use the tall woman comparison. It's height related, most men aren't *looking* for taller women but may date one just like most women aren't looking for short men but may date one.

 

I don't think we need stuff like "what if she was morbidly obese and needed to be cut out of her house?", "what if she was exposed to radiation and now has the scaly skin texture of an iguana", "what if her arms are where her legs should be and her legs are where her arms should be"

 

 

Sometimes i feel sorry for short dudes the way women describe them or what women compare them to

 

Its like the article that said for a women to choose a short man over his taller countepart the taller guy would have to be a pedo or murderer for her to think about picking the shorter dude:laugh:

[MrCastle]

 

Sometimes i feel sorry for short dudes the way women describe them or what women compare them to

 

Its like the article that said for a women to choose a short man over his taller countepart the taller guy would have to be a pedo or murderer for her to think about picking the shorter dude:laugh:

 

I don't know. Some prisoners get letters in jail from women.