bentnotbroken Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 But, I guess all things considered, I have seen and read of worse. Renting billboards, spray painted cars, civil suits to recoup marital assets spent on the affair, true-crime affair related violence....FB announcing may not be that bad. You know that you will never be doing the "right" thing as long as you don't keep your mouth shut and hide from all. You should have certainly been more concerned with your reputation as a bat shyt crazy BS instead of outing the bull crap you were living with. :rolleyes: How could you have (we) done that without thought for the poor WS/AP? Dammit...bad Spark...bad, bad BNB:o..uh I mean Spark. 1
Decorative Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Even if you did it all to private messages it is still wrong. So sayeth a current affair partner. In the real world- truth is okay. 2
Realist3 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 So sayeth a current affair partner. In the real world- truth is okay. You are arguing something different. I just posted above what I object to.
eleanorrigby Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 This thread makes me think of how I outted my OW to her mother, her ordained minister mother. Good times, good times. 2
Decorative Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 You are arguing something different. I just posted above what I object to. Cool. So argue with someone on this thread that did that. *waits anxiously for the goalpost to be moved, yet again*
bentnotbroken Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 You are arguing something different. I just posted above what I object to. Objection....dully noted. 1
Author Confused3232 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Outside of where they work so they could both see it while walking in with the other 1000 employees. Trust me, I have dreamed of that day!! 2
Spark1111 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 This is the method that was being suggested and argued. I would only tell those closest to me because I needed their support while I dealt with the betrayal and headed towards divorce. You cannot put it on your main page, but REALIST, get realistic here bud. You think the BS doesn't go crazy for a while? Especially when gaslighted AFTER DDAY? Do you read the papers, watch the news, true crime channels on tv? You, and anyone else in an affair, get stupid from all that secrecy.You live in a bubble of denial. When affairs are exposed the propensity for violence is very, very high. So is retribution, revenge, embarrasment, and exposure. 2
Decorative Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 This thread makes me think of how I outted my OW to her mother, her ordained minister mother. Good times, good times. LOL! You know what's wild? originally? The OW's parents outed her to me. Original DDay. You know why? The mom was a former OW, and the more she got to "know" my spouse, the more she knew the story they( spouse and OW) were spinning them wasn't true. So they hired a PI 2
eleanorrigby Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 LOL! You know what's wild? originally? The OW's parents outed her to me. Original DDay. You know why? The mom was a former OW, and the more she got to "know" my spouse, the more she knew the story they( spouse and OW) were spinning them wasn't true. So they hired a PI That's awesome. I love a good exposure story. 1
2sunny Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I say exposé again - stating your evidence. But I'd suggest doing it today! No need to wait one more minute. And if HE'S inconvenienced - all the better! He can figure out where to stay - he's the one who cheated.
SidLyon Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Hi all, Some of you may know my story, but I have finally started on the road to healing myself after my H's affair that was 5 months ago. I guess you could say I am doing a 180, but it is for myself, not him. He is moving out this weekend, I am filing for divorce, I am barely speaking to him unless it is about our babies, I am finding a new house for me and the twins, and he is still having an affair with his co-worker, even if he swears he isn't - ha! My question is, does it pay to do a second exposer? He has told everyone that he stopped the affair and he didn't - do I out him? Thanks everyone!!! I haven't read all the replies yet, but because I've read some and I know this is a contentious topic I expect you've got everything from "don't tell a soul and you shouldn't have exposed in the first place" to "send an e-mail to the world and beyond". I'm a fan of exposure, and in my case I exposed to all the relevant people but not the world. I understand you have already exposed to everyone you consider relevant. I think rather than advising that you send people e-mails with proof, I would just tell them when you see then or are in contact with them. This includes his family, and personally I think it's only fair to give your side the story as they'll be wondering. A dignified "he is still seeing the OW no matter what he's telling you" will suffice. You only need to provide the details if they ask, and then refer then to him. This is the case especially with people who may have influence with him (his mother or sister). I know my in-laws were upset that I exposed to them and others and also when I told them of post d-day lying. However they were sensible enough to see that it was his behavior that was causing the problems. By the way I know how it is. Our twins were young when my fWH's infidelity started. 1
Realist3 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I would only tell those closest to me because I needed their support while I dealt with the betrayal and headed towards divorce. You cannot put it on your main page, but REALIST, get realistic here bud. You think the BS doesn't go crazy for a while? Especially when gaslighted AFTER DDAY? Do you read the papers, watch the news, true crime channels on tv? You, and anyone else in an affair, get stupid from all that secrecy.You live in a bubble of denial. When affairs are exposed the propensity for violence is very, very high. So is retribution, revenge, embarrasment, and exposure. Again you are missing the issue I was objecting to. The method suggested by a poster here an Dr. Harley, who many seem to think walks on water, is totally assinine. I'm not talking about your desire to expose to a limited group of a close group of friends o family. I'm talking about a widespread indiscriminate act.
Realist3 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Cool. So argue with someone on this thread that did that. *waits anxiously for the goalpost to be moved, yet again* You were the ones that moved the goalposts. I simply stated that the method I quoted was bad advice. You guys took it to mean something else.
eleanorrigby Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Again you are missing the issue I was objecting to. The method suggested by a poster here an Dr. Harley, who many seem to think walks on water, is totally assinine. I'm not talking about your desire to expose to a limited group of a close group of friends o family. I'm talking about a widespread indiscriminate act. The OP already said she wasn't interested in the FB bomb tactic. Are you just upset that someone had the nerve to suggest it? 1
Author Confused3232 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I haven't read all the replies yet, but because I've read some and I know this is a contentious topic I expect you've got everything from "don't tell a soul and you shouldn't have exposed in the first place" to "send an e-mail to the world and beyond". I'm a fan of exposure, and in my case I exposed to all the relevant people but not the world. I understand you have already exposed to everyone you consider relevant. I think rather than advising that you send people e-mails with proof, I would just tell them when you see then or are in contact with them. This includes his family, and personally I think it's only fair to give your side the story as they'll be wondering. A dignified "he is still seeing the OW no matter what he's telling you" will suffice. You only need to provide the details if they ask, and then refer then to him. This is the case especially with people who may have influence with him (his mother or sister). I know my in-laws were upset that I exposed to them and others and also when I told them of post d-day lying. However they were sensible enough to see that it was his behavior that was causing the problems. By the way I know how it is. Our twins were young when my fWH's infidelity started. Thank you for sharing. I think you and I are on the same page. I have to feel good about what I choose to do, things I can look back and not be ashamed of. Can I ask what happened in your situation? Thanks again! 1
Realist3 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I'm just saying it is a stupid idea. Several of you ran with something that wasn't there. Kudos.
2sunny Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Have him move out today. Exposé the minute he's moved. Get the locks changed. Move money into your name only.
2sunny Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I'm just saying it is a stupid idea. Several of you ran with something that wasn't there. Kudos. Actually, the stupid idea is thinking that you can place your penis anywhere you want without consequences and people finding out. 2
Decorative Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 You were the ones that moved the goalposts. I simply stated that the method I quoted was bad advice. You guys took it to mean something else. Yeah. If a person reads over the sum total of your posts in this thread- and your claims of spousal privacy- I think it's quite clear what you meant. Come on. LOL 1
Decorative Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I'm just saying it is a stupid idea. Several of you ran with something that wasn't there. Kudos. And what was that? What did we run with? Was it when you said that our friends and family would think we were stupid? Or was it when you said our neighbors were talking behind our backs? Or was it when you said that exposing kills any chance of reconciliation? ( which you said to a group of largely reconciled spouses who exposed)? Or was it when you claimed spousal privacy? Which of those did we run with? For clarity's sake. 1
Realist3 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Yeah. If a person reads over the sum total of your posts in this thread- and your claims of spousal privacy- I think it's quite clear what you meant. Come on. LOL I invite anyone to read them. I was responding to a specific piece of advice, and one advocated by a certain therapist that espouses the same thing. In the typical BS mode some decided to attack me instead of what I stated.
Decorative Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Again you are missing the issue I was objecting to. The method suggested by a poster here an Dr. Harley, who many seem to think walks on water, is totally assinine. I'm not talking about your desire to expose to a limited group of a close group of friends o family. I'm talking about a widespread indiscriminate act. Many being Road? LOL That's one person on this thread. LOL One. One is not many. #WhyyesIamsupersmartatmath 2
eleanorrigby Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I invite anyone to read them. I was responding to a specific piece of advice, and one advocated by a certain therapist that espouses the same thing. In the typical BS mode some decided to attack me instead of what I stated. lol@ "typical BS mode" Yeah.. I see what you did there. -_- 1
Realist3 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 lol@ "typical BS mode" Yeah.. I see what you did there. I didn't do anything but expose where some of you ran with something that wasn't there.
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