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Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

JuneJulySeptember

By JuneJulySeptember
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edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

Posted
Posted

Well let's put myself again as an example of what you claim doesn't exist. I am not scared of anything. I don't see why you can't understand that I, for one, am being honest with myself. I am not gay. And I don't have a "pattern". And what if someone has? I think this is about self-definition - if the person is being honest with themselves (because that's the only thing that matters) and says he/she's not gay, then they're not gay. Believe me, I'd know if I was gay haha. If you are talking about people who are in the closet although they know they are gay, that's another subject.

 

I think both male and female bodies can be beautiful and attractive. And I like to try things. If something happens and I feel attraction and desire, why not? This doesn't make me gay. The only gender I pursue actively and romantically is males. So I feel I am straight although I might like to experience different things once in a while.

Lonely Ronin Established Member

Lonely Ronin

Posted
Posted

The only thing I think I can agree with, is that men and women look at sexuality differently. Men are a lot more black and white about orientation, than women are.

 

I have gay friends, but the thought of doing something with another man, turns my stomach. I had a friend once tell me I'm the most non gay man on the planet.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

Posted
Posted (edited)
Gonna have to agree to disagree, but I have plenty of personal experience with gay, lesbian, bi, bi curious people to know that there are differences in how men and women view sexuality and attraction. My wife's sister is bisexual, my wife's other sister has a ton of gay friends who I used to hang around a lot, my wife is attracted to women, has made out with quite a few, but the thought of actually having sex with one isn't exactly her cup of tea...I guess you could say she's bi curious. I've seen it all and this is the conclusion I've come up with.

Ill agree with this here. The fact that shes attracted to women, yet iffy about actual sex with them indicates bi-curiosity. Thats totally different than the women or men wholl be attracted to the same sex, hook up with them, and then claim to be straight.

Well let's put myself again as an example of what you claim doesn't exist. I am not scared of anything. I don't see why you can't understand that I, for one, am being honest with myself. I am not gay. And I don't have a "pattern". And what if someone has? I think this is about self-definition - if the person is being honest with themselves (because that's the only thing that matters) and says he/she's not gay, then they're not gay. Believe me, I'd know if I was gay haha. If you are talking about people who are in the closet although they know they are gay, that's another subject.

 

I think both male and female bodies can be beautiful and attractive. And I like to try things. If something happens and I feel attraction and desire, why not? This doesn't make me gay. The only gender I pursue actively and romantically is males. So I feel I am straight although I might like to experience different things once in a while.

I never said you were gay. Im saying you are bisexual or at least bicurious based on your responses about how youd hook up with women given the opportunity for sense pleasure. Romantic pursuit is but one facet of sexuality. Plenty of bisexual women only romantically date men, while using women for sex.

 

Truly straight women are attracted soley to, and derive their sensual pleasure from men.

Edited by kaylan
edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

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Posted

As KungFuJoe said, the bi-curious term could apply to people who are open for things, but still I see it as a label that doesn't define who I am. I, i.e., am not that curious about kissing or being with a woman, I just say that I am not against trying things if I feel like it one day. That's why I don't like using labels. They are not that accurate.

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted (edited)

The fashion industry is run by gay men and straight women. They're the ones putting up these images of what women should look like not straight men. Most women who complain are blaming the wrong people

 

As for being picky, women are more picky in the sense that they find a lower percentage of the male pop physically attractive then men find of the the female pop. Id say every women finds at best 15% of men at a time physically attractive.

 

And looks are very important for both genders. On this website and others people like to sell this BS myth that looks don't Matter for men and its a bunch of crap. No matter how much game a man has, it can only go so far. The more attractive man has the edge just like the more attractive woman. IMO it's wrong and disingenious to suggest to guys otherwise.

Edited by Revolver
  • Like 1
crude Established Member

crude

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Posted

I happened to see a copy of a magazine at someone's home, and glancing through it, it struck me that the males were all better looking than the females. Male model vs "gorgeous" daughters, men and their wives, boy children vs girls. And the females were heavily made up. This is one of the pictures of beautiful daughters vs throw away man in the background.

 

 

http://stocklandmartelblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/macdowell_tear7.jpeg

  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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Posted (edited)

This is my take, and it might piss people off, especially the women.

 

I usually beat the drum about how the dating game is rigged in favor of men. That women expect men to initiate, and that many men don't (!) opens the door for a guy to date above his league so to speak. I'm also one of those who tells guys to take responsibility for their dating lives, and that if they truly do so (coming on LS and whining doesn't count as "taking responsibility in my book) then they will enjoy their share of success.

 

That said, I think the women on here as a group have MORE self-pity than men.

 

Take the women on here griping about the age bias. There are at least two "regulars" who come on here and say about how being on here made them feel worthless about being a 30+-year-old woman in the dating market. (I can name them but maybe that would be too "edgy" of me haha. I hear it's also against forum policy and I don't want to piss off the moderators because then Oh The Places I'd Go LOL.) Thing is, when I pressed one of them to name a poster (who wasn't a so-called "Bitter Boy" that is) said anything bad about women over 30--over even to give a link, she couldn't do it. Just what I suspected--it was really just her own insecurities talking and she was blaming the men in the forum for it. Both of the female posters I referred to seem to get plenty of dates anyway so this "age" thing is less of a big deal then their griping would have you believe.

 

Now there are guys here who gripe about the height bias. Thing is though, there is a smaller percentage of guys and those who do are told to stop whining. Furthermore, the height bias is real. I should know as a shorter guy who does OLD. And finally: The older posters were once young, while the shorter posters were never tall.

 

So my advice to a few of the women on here would be to realize that you do as much whining as The Bitter Boys, and to buck up. No disrespect of anything--the two posters I was referring to seem like decent people overall actually, but the only way to get through is to be blunt. Hence my post.

Edited by Imajerk17
fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted

 

I usually beat the drum about how the dating game is rigged in favor of men. That women expect men to initiate, and that many men don't (!) opens the door for a guy to date above his league so to speak. I'm also one of those who tells guys to take responsibility for their dating lives, and that if they truly do so (coming on LS and whining doesn't count as "taking responsibility in my book) then they will enjoy their share of success.

 

 

My beef with your usual shtick is that you define "taking responsibility" as "fixing the problem".

 

To me, "taking responsibility" should be recognizing that whatever problems you have are your own fault (except for in very rare circumstances) and if you can't solve them you have only yourself to blame.

 

Not everyone will have success dating. But, people shouldn't blame others or society for their issues.

Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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My beef with your usual shtick is that you define "taking responsibility" as "fixing the problem".

 

To me, "taking responsibility" should be recognizing that whatever problems you have are your own fault (except for in very rare circumstances) and if you can't solve them you have only yourself to blame.

 

Not everyone will have success dating. But, people shouldn't blame others or society for their issues.

 

No, I define "taking responsibility" as doing the best with what you have. Which is probably a lot more than someone is doing.

 

Let me give an example: If you're 5'6" you won't be able to "fix" that if you define fixing to be getting 6" taller. You will be able to improve your appearance by working out, grooming, fashion, and so on. You will also be able to develop your personality. And you know what? For some women that won't be enough. If a woman truly wants a taller guy and you're only 5'6", then she isn't the woman for you. The good news though, is that there are plenty of women out there who will love the new and improved you.

 

Make sense?

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
No, I define "taking responsibility" as doing the best with what you have. Which is probably a lot more than someone is doing.

 

Let me give an example: If you're 5'6" you won't be able to "fix" that if you define fixing to be getting 6" taller. You will be able to improve your appearance by working out, grooming, fashion, and so on. You will also be able to develop your personality. And you know what? For some women that won't be enough. If a woman truly wants a taller guy and you're only 5'6", then she isn't the woman for you. The good news though, is that there are plenty of women out there who will love the new and improved you.

 

Make sense?

 

Yeah, but sometimes someone does all of that and they still have no success. Or, the person could not do all of that but still understand that it's not society's fault or anyone else's fault. That's still taking responsibility to me.

singlelife Established Member

singlelife

Posted
Posted

When I say this I don't mean every single situation. But I do mean generally. Say if a woman is extremely beautiful and successful, then she would mostly want to be with an extremely handsome or successful man. Not someone working at Mcdonald's with zits all over his face. Also A guy who has a lot going for him with a high paying job and a decent looks isn't going to want a girl with nothing going on for herself and no drive. Looking forward to your comments.

ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Posted

I think I'm pretty cute and my only requirements are: be cute, don't beat me, have a job, want marriage and babies eventually.

  • Like 1
miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
Posted

Me: 22, going to school, successful car saleswoman, have my own car, my own apartment, as for looks I have pictures, blah blah blah.

 

 

Boyfriend: 31, going to school, works at Walmart, own car, own apartment, and I find him very attractive although he is bald and many others may disagree.

 

 

 

I have dated many men of many different types. As for who we usually end up with? Can't really say, it as is based on individual circumstances and isn't as black and white as you make it out to be.

TheZebra Established Member

TheZebra

Posted
Posted

*facepalm*

 

People date based on compatibility and attraction.

 

In your example, the high-powered CEO and McDonalds cashier would probably never date because they're not compatible with each other. The cashier is probably very young, not educated (let's assume it's not a kid going to college), and their weekend activities consist of watching things on TV, maybe playing sports with their buddies, and maybe going out to a local bar where they can get cheap beers. The CEO is well educated (usually), older, ambitious, and their weekend activities consist of going on their yacht, or flying to Paris for lunch. Where's the compatibility?

 

It's the same reason you see people of certain cultures of backgrounds dating each other. They're more compatible. It has nothing to do with 'league' non-sense.

 

And you always have attraction too. Didn't Matt Damon marry a bartender? Attraction can join up even the most incompatible of people.

 

One thing's for certain though. The more you think about leagues and whether you are or aren't in someone's league, the less likely you are to actually go out and enjoy what you're doing and the company of the people you're with.

  • Like 2
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
Posted

I have seen tons of hot guys date ugly girls though so...

SilentVoice Established Member

SilentVoice

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Why wouldn't someone date their equal and/or better?

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
Posted
Why wouldn't someone date their equal and/or better?

 

What defines equality though?

Making the same amount of money? Having the same amount of material items?

 

 

Or equality in personality?

SilentVoice Established Member

SilentVoice

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What defines equality though?

Making the same amount of money? Having the same amount of material items?

 

 

Or equality in personality?

No... I was being foolish - for a foolish question.

The question makes no sense.

 

Their is no such thing as an equal in dating.

However we have matches.

 

Matches is all the matters.

 

If two people come to point where they think they are less than or higher than their partner they face problems. And if you think you are equal - what may cause that to go off balance.

 

So I don't think we have equals in dating.

 

This is on a person to person basis.

MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

Posted
Posted

People date who they are attracted to and attraction is not a choice.

  • Like 2
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

These things compensate, usually. A beautiful girl may have a big ego, so she might need someone who flatters her more than some who is just as beautiful as she is.

 

Beautiful men are used to have all the attention and not used to put any effort to get women - which is easier, due to the looks. Hence, they may date pretty girls, but won't necessarily end up with them.

 

Rich men may get both rich and poor women, rich women can get power which can be highly arousing for men of all age...

 

Most people compromise - within limits. Personally, I think it's all about self confidence, personality and domination - he who is more convinced will convince the others.

candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
People date who they are attracted to and attraction is not a choice.

 

not all people date those whom they are attracted to - eg if I spot that the guy I'm interested in is a player, I'll say pass, don't like to waste my time.

 

while I agree to some level that you cannot choose whom you are attracted to physically, I believe that the brain is the most sexual organ of all of our body. So i also think one can build attraction - charismatic people, incredibly charming men or sharp women.

  • Like 1
miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
Posted
not all people date those whom they are attracted to - eg if I spot that the guy I'm interested in is a player, I'll say pass, don't like to waste my time.

 

while I agree to some level that you cannot choose whom you are attracted to physically, I believe that the brain is the most sexual organ of all of our body. So i also think one can build attraction - charismatic people, incredibly charming men or sharp women.

 

Then you have lost attraction....

So yes, people date who they are ATTRACTED to.

  • Like 1
charlietheginger Established Member

charlietheginger

Posted
Posted
People date who they are attracted to and attraction is not a choice.

 

Not true hence the term " gold digger " or " daddys girl "

Many women are not physically attracted to a man but

Will marry him for his money. Alot of younger girls date poor

Guys. Then around age 28 a women decides living in a one

bedroom apartment driving a beat up car dating the hunky

Bouncer from the bar making $10 a hour sucks. A decide

To go for financial security with a less attractive man that

Makes more money

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
Posted
Not true hence the term " gold digger " or " daddys girl "

Many women are not physically attracted to a man but

Will marry him for his money. Alot of younger girls date poor

Guys. Then around age 28 a women decides living in a one

bedroom apartment driving a beat up car dating the hunky

Bouncer from the bar making $10 a hour sucks. A decide

To go for financial security with a less attractive man that

Makes more money

 

You use "many" far too freely.

 

 

 

I believe it is the minority that does that.

  • Like 2
mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

Posted
Posted
People date who they are attracted to and attraction is not a choice.

 

hmmmmm, if they can get that person to date them. I'm sure most if not all men are attracted to megan fox and would love to date a girl like her, doesn't mean they can get one.

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