Author denxnis Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Few days ago I sent the ex a formal email that basically said, if you don't change the dog's registration back to my address/phone I'm contacting the authorities; she was basically trying to steal him. That day she blew up my phone, left me a pretty harsh VM calling me immature, then showed up at my door and insisted on seeing me. I had my roommate answer because I did not want to see that witches face and I knew I would explode on her. Well she wouldn't leave so finally I tell my roommate I'll handle it, talk to her for 2 minutes. She was threatening to file a restraining order against me. I haven't spoken to her for a good month and when I did it was a simple text saying, "Cancel the dog's registration" which she ignored. I told her she can go ahead and file one because seeing her makes me want to throw up (I know, I know I was pissed though) and that she was the one blowing my phone up and coming to my door, not the other way around. The next day she leaves me a polite VM saying she couldn't change the registration information because she was on hold for over an hour. This was a lye because I can get through within a few minutes. Oh and I found out that she is already telling this tool she is seeing she loves him after 2 months ... I still think about her everyday and I still miss her quite a bit, but I think it's because I'm thinking of the way she acted when we were together and not the "real" her... Did I dodge a bullet or what? Edited January 16, 2013 by denxnis Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Don't know what to say except that sucks. On the positive side i would find it tough now to hold onto any false hope after the restraining order threat lol ...kidding Man. I hope you get your dog back. Wait do you have the dog or does she? If you have the dog it makes no sense that she wouldn't change the registration..except that she is a total witch like you have said. Mann that sucks. You would think after 6 years she could at least be civil. Some people suck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Don't know what to say except that sucks. On the positive side i would find it tough now to hold onto any false hope after the restraining order threat lol ...kidding Man. I hope you get your dog back. Wait do you have the dog or does she? If you have the dog it makes no sense that she wouldn't change the registration..except that she is a total witch like you have said. Mann that sucks. You would think after 6 years she could at least be civil. Some people suck. I have the dog but if he gets lost he goes to her... Also I don't think it sucks, I think it's good for me because it shows what an unstable person she is... I would never have taken her back after what she pulled and this just reinforces my opinion about her. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I have the dog but if he gets lost he goes to her... Also I don't think it sucks, I think it's good for me because it shows what an unstable person she is... I would never have taken her back after what she pulled and this just reinforces my opinion about her. Well i agree. Should make it somewhat easier to move on. Guess you never can really truly know someone 100 percent. Why the f would she want to keep the registration in her name. That will forever be a mystery i guess. Did she want to keep the dog? Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Yeah she really wanted the dog. This girl is extremely insecure/unstable and her actions just emphasized that. The only things she had going for her was that she was honest, good looking, and didn't sleep around; she managed to blow it all in a matter of 2 months. She has gained a noticeable amount of weight. She lied to me about many things during our time together and after. And now she is sleeping with her coworker. I didn't work my ass off to become successful and have someone like her ruin my life. Good riddens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 You've made great strides young master. Good riddance is right! For "that person" i was involved with also. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mantha03 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Its not necessarily about money you make or what car you drive compared to the other guy, it's more or less based on the way you treat someone. You could be the most gorgeous man with enough money to swim in but if you don't treat your woman right almost always those things do not matter and she is going to get fed up. You leave too much time in between the break up and trying to make it right then she's sooner or later she is going to get over it and move on. If you take anything from that relationship then take into consideration the way you treat your significant other rather than what you materialistically have to offer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Its not necessarily about money you make or what car you drive compared to the other guy, it's more or less based on the way you treat someone. You could be the most gorgeous man with enough money to swim in but if you don't treat your woman right almost always those things do not matter and she is going to get fed up. You leave too much time in between the break up and trying to make it right then she's sooner or later she is going to get over it and move on. If you take anything from that relationship then take into consideration the way you treat your significant other rather than what you materialistically have to offer. You are absolutely correct. I am just as much to blame for the failed relationship as she. However I think the way people handle break-ups says a lot about them and the person I saw after we broke up was disgusting and is probably the reason I slowly grew to resent her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Your attitude is awesome. I hope to be able to have your attitude more consistently soon because this roller coaster of emotions that I'm on is no fun... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mantha03 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 The way people deal with the break up does give you a little insight on the persons true colors. Seeing someone move on so quickly is like a slap in the face. My daughters father slept with 5 girls in two months of breaking up, after 5 years together, it hurts. Someone like that you don't need in your life. Good for you for being able to admit you had made mistakes also and it does take two. Surely you cannot take all the blame. Don't feel like your the one missing out, you came to peace with your mistakes and were willing to forgive hers, it is she who is missing out. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 The way people deal with the break up does give you a little insight on the persons true colors. Seeing someone move on so quickly is like a slap in the face. My daughters father slept with 5 girls in two months of breaking up, after 5 years together, it hurts. Someone like that you don't need in your life. Good for you for being able to admit you had made mistakes also and it does take two. Surely you cannot take all the blame. Don't feel like your the one missing out, you came to peace with your mistakes and were willing to forgive hers, it is she who is missing out. Good luck Encouraging words, thank you. Best of luck to you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 (edited) After you left me for someone else I felt like a monster. I could hardly look in the mirror. I woke up in the morning asking myself what's the point... why can't I just stay asleep forever. After all the years we spent together I still couldn't bring myself to say I'd marry you. You are wonderful. I still care about you. I still miss you. BUT I don't want to develop feelings for her over time and wonder if she is the one; I want to know the moment we look into each others eyes. You are not her. My mom had a nickname for me, "Mr. Perfect", this makes me laugh now... With love, Mr. NotSoPerfect Edited January 20, 2013 by denxnis Link to post Share on other sites
jcd07 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 If you like Greg Laswell's song, try this . It always gets to me. And I've been using it to get over my break up too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 I had an epiphany. I spent days wondering why/how I could miss someone that acted so selfishly. You constantly contacted me wanting to hang out. You always talked about moving in together or getting married someday. It's not you that I miss, it's the feeling of being needed that I miss. I don't want to wake up in the morning or go to work so I can be successful because that's not my goal in life. I want to do those things so that I can make someone else happy and feel needed by someone else. “Only a life lived for others is worth living” -Albert Einstein 3 Link to post Share on other sites
westcoastguy Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I want to do those things so that I can make someone else happy and feel needed by someone else. Yep. I know the feeling. I hardly ever make fancy meals for myself. I love food and love cooking, but only put in a great effort for her because she enjoys it. Seeing her enjoy it makes it worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
kandygurl22 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I spent days wondering why/how I could miss someone that acted so selfishly. Absolutely this. This I wonder about every day too. You can list all their many flaws, and yet, still miss them and think to yourself, HOW and WHY do I miss somebody like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 I blocked you out of my life; phone, email, social networking, you name it you're blocked. Why is it that whenever I get a call from an unknown phone number my heart races? When a car that looks like yours pulls next to me why do I shake with anxiety? Never would I be able to live with myself if I let you back into my life; so why do you still have this power over me? I'm afraid I won't be free from her completely until I pack my things and ditch my phone... Is this really what it's going to take? Time has definitely eased the pain and life is slowly picking back up. If your significant other left you for someone else I urge you to hang in there and maintain no contact. Stay strong and take with you the lessons learned to live a brighter future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) Yep. I know the feeling. I hardly ever make fancy meals for myself. I love food and love cooking, but only put in a great effort for her because she enjoys it. Seeing her enjoy it makes it worthwhile. Amen brother. I hope you find that special someone to make those awesome meals for someday, someone worthwhile. You can list all their many flaws, and yet, still miss them and think to yourself, HOW and WHY do I miss somebody like this? Loving someone unconditionally does crazy things to you. If you've been able to do that, love someone unconditionally, I think that speaks volumes about the type of person you are. That being said, here is a letter I typed up and put in envelope addressed to her. I'll sit on it for a few weeks before I do something I may regret. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I hurt you and you me. Both of us are flawed, fortunately these past few months have helped highlight the areas in my life where I need to focus on the most, for that I thank you. Instead of remembering the bad times, the break-up, I choose to remember the girl I once knew, the girl that picked me up from the hospital when I couldn't drive, the girl that brought me chicken noodle soup and medicine when I was too sick to walk. Don't take this the wrong way, this is not me trying to persuade you to come back, but me letting you know that we are O.K. Like I said before, I can never be your friend, but if you ever find yourself stranded or in a very bad situation you have my number. Just because I'm not in love with you doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Edited February 13, 2013 by denxnis Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 You somehow managed to creep into my dreams... Fantastic. The few things you had going for you, honesty and loyalty, you managed to **** up. You walked away from me, my family, and the dog you cared so much about. All for what? Some tool that you work with. The world would be a better place without all the cheating selfish people like you, seriously, go **** yourself [insert her name here]. Link to post Share on other sites
jcd07 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) You should check out Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male blog on Wordpress. It will help you understand and put things into perspective. Read what he says about hypergamy and relational equity. Also, if you can get a copy of Michelle Langley's book "Women's Infidelity" (both parts), it will open your eyes to the brutal truth about they way women "love". Those helped me get almost 100% over my breakup. And as a result, my ex started contacting me again. Bread crumbs or whatever, I'm not having any of it. Edited February 28, 2013 by jcd07 Link to post Share on other sites
purplereigncb Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 This thread is so great. I can relate to so much here. Its like coming to terms with a behavioral pattern. Attention is an addiction to some, theres going to be some dude wholl say what they want to hear and wrap them around their finger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted March 1, 2013 Author Share Posted March 1, 2013 @jcd I actually picked up two books from Joel Osteen and they've been amazing help. I'm glad to hear you'r over your ex, I'm pretty much over mine as well; although I don't think I will ever be 100% over her until I find a new girlfriend that I click well with. @purple I'm glad it helps man! Reading through some of these older posts I have to admit I sound like an idiot but hey live and learn. As long as you take this time to build yourself up while single your next relationship/girlfriend can only get better! Just be glad this happened now and not when you two were married or had a kid together; you literally have no baggage and can walk away with clean hands. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Dude are you really almost over things? Congrats! When did this happen? Need update. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
Author denxnis Posted March 1, 2013 Author Share Posted March 1, 2013 Dude are you really almost over things? Congrats! When did this happen? Need update. Cav Long story short I don't ever think about us getting back together or her contacting me. I don't check up on her anymore and the other day I almost forgot her phone number. Also about 1 month ago I wrote her a quick email letting her know that even though I don't ever want to be friends or get back together she is always welcome to contact me if she is in a very bad life situation (life or death, about to get raped something like that.. ). Well she didn't respond and I was totally ok with that... I was surprised too but I actually didn't care that she didn't respond. After everything she has done in/out of the relationship I stick to my words when I say, "There are bad (aka very selfish) people out there and the best gift you can give them is the gift of goodbye". My life will be much better without her and I have accepted this. I've been bulking up, got orthodontist work done, and am well on my way to successful life without her. Enough about me, how are you coming along Cav, what's new with you? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) Thats great man! I think I'm about in the same state as you. I know she is gone for good. No more fantasies. Don't expect to hear from her any time soon and it is not something I'm waiting around for because it would mean nothing. No urge to break NC at all. I still think about her daily but it doesn't produce the visceral response of before. I was angry for quite a while replaying the BU and my loss of dignity leading up to it. This sorta came out of no where a few weeks ago and i was sorta depressed and it felt like a step backward. But that seems to have gone away. I'm not over the BU it but i think i can finally say I'm WELL on my way. Month 1 - was horrible - crying, mourning, death imminent, total insanity lol Month 2-3 I made massive improvements but it was with her in mind. Fantasy scenarios of running into her to show off new me etcetera. Constant effort to not to think of her. Cried like once a month Month 4 I realised she was REALLY forever gone (I always knew this but the true reality hit home ) and it is all about me now- sorta tough month with some depression, anger Month 5 (now) anger and depression is lifting and I'm think I'm coming out the other side of the BU haze .glimmers of indifference. More worried about my life now without her and feeling happier, working lifting. Same stuff as before but im feeling a lot more like myself again. I guess i can finally say im going to survive this and it really isn't that bad now. My emotional fortitude is way up. I guess im a lot tougher than before and am not at the whim of my emotions any more. Also i have kicked her way off the pedestal and can kick her out of my mind much easier. And if i don't kick her out it doesn't hurt much. That is a big difference. There are a lot better fish to fry. I really is her loss and my gain! I getting comfortable with my single life. Rock on! Cav Edited March 1, 2013 by cavalier99 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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