USMCHokie Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 So if a woman wanted to shove that 8" dildo painfully up your arse even though you hated it, this would be fun for you? Actually, I believe it was only 6" the last time it was done... Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenAnna Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Along with what David said, have you ever felt so strongly about someone that you would do anything to satisfy and/or please them? And more importantly, have you met anyone (i.e., hubby) that feels so strongly about you that he'd do anything to satisfy and/or please you? So you are saying if your "wife" would suggest in having a gangbang you would be okay with it since you want all her needs to be satisfied right? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I personally think it's a very, very, very, very petty thing to lose someone you truly love over. However, if you are seriously considering this, it means that you don't truly love her - which brings us back to the answer of 'yes, you should break up with her'. With the right woman, I really doubt her not swallowing your semen would be an issue of such importance that you would be okay with losing her over that. This isn't the right woman for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Actually, I believe it was only 6" the last time it was done...Pure avoidance of the dislike issue, as expressed by the OP. His ex hated it. Did you hate it or enjoy it? If you enjoyed it, this would be irrelevant. That said, if you're into BDSM and being dominated, that's an entirely different mindset where pain and humiliation are pleasurable. Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenAnna Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 No, they wouldn't be sexually compatible and might need to reconsider their relationship. It really is that easy. OP stated their sex life is great otherwise which make them compatible... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 So you are saying if your "wife" would suggest in having a gangbang you would be okay with it since you want all her needs to be satisfied right? Hmmm. I'd have to think about that one. I honestly don't know. But in the interest of your slightly preposterous example, I'd certainly communicate it with her and come to some sort of compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Pure avoidance of the dislike issue, as expressed by the OP. His ex hated it. Did you hate it or enjoy it? If you enjoyed it, this would be irrelevant. It was delightful. But regarding the dislike issue, there are millions of other people on this planet. I don't understand why people get so riled up about simple incompatibilities, regardless of how trivial they are. Are we all so unique that we cannot find someone who is more compatible? What if you liked hiking, and your partner refused to ever go hiking with you? Should you just deal with it? It's a matter of values, and it's a bit short-sighted to project all of your values on every other person on the planet. Some people think swallowing is insignificant, while others think it's important; some people like it, some people don't like it. Some relate it with intimacy, while others think it's gross... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Okay I think we all can agree to disagree, however we all agree on OP breaking up with her.... BrokenAnna.... this isn't about the act in itself. Its about my GF giving herself physically to many of her previous partners on a level that she is not willing to give to me... this leaves me wondering "why not me?" She did not try it once and swear it off. This is her common practice. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 It was delightful.Which is exactly this has become irrelevant. You enjoyed it. Completely different than if you hated it. But regarding the dislike issue, there are millions of other people on this planet. I don't understand why people get so riled up about simple incompatibilities, regardless of how trivial they are. Are we all so unique that we cannot find someone who is more compatible?There are incompatibilities like disliking sex in general and petty shyte like this. What if you liked hiking, and your partner refused to ever go hiking with you? Should you just deal with it? It's a matter of values, and it's a bit short-sighted to project all of your values on every other person on the planet. Some people think swallowing is insignificant, while others think it's important; some people like it, some people don't like it. Some relate it with intimacy, while others think it's gross...I do like hiking and my husband dislikes it. So we don't go which is fine with both of us. Consider me independent, not needing to force him to do things he hates since I can find others to hike with. He's seriously social and can be with people 24x7, gaining more energy with the constant contact. I need down time. So if he's feeling extroverted, he goes out with friends without me since there's always something social going on either with his friends or mine. He doesn't pout or whine, needing to guilt me into doing whatever he wants to do. Consider him independent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 It was delightful. But regarding the dislike issue, there are millions of other people on this planet. I don't understand why people get so riled up about simple incompatibilities, regardless of how trivial they are. Are we all so unique that we cannot find someone who is more compatible? What if you liked hiking, and your partner refused to ever go hiking with you? Should you just deal with it? It's a matter of values, and it's a bit short-sighted to project all of your values on every other person on the planet. Some people think swallowing is insignificant, while others think it's important; some people like it, some people don't like it. Some relate it with intimacy, while others think it's gross... What if your partner gleefully went hiking with everyone of her exes but refused to go with you? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 What if your partner gleefully went hiking with everyone of her exes but refused to go with you?Irrelevant since your ex admitted to hating to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I do like hiking and my husband dislikes it. So we don't go which is fine with both of us. Consider me independent, not needing to force him to do things he hates since I can find others to hike with. He's seriously social and can be with people 24x7, gaining more energy with the constant contact. I need down time. So if he's feeling extroverted, he goes out with friends without me since there's always something social going on either with his friends or mine. He doesn't pout or whine, needing to guilt me into doing whatever he wants to do. Consider him independent. We call that compromise... Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 We call that compromise...Notice how uncontrolling of each other we are, in that we respect each other's independence? Strange how our marriage works like a hot damn... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 The point that many people are missing, is that my gf has done this act with many of her previous men. I am not trying to get her to do something she has sworn off or that she has never done before. I just that she has done it for everyone else so how could she not do it for me? Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenAnna Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 BrokenAnna.... this isn't about the act in itself. Its about my GF giving herself physically to many of her previous partners on a level that she is not willing to give to me... this leaves me wondering "why not me?" She did not try it once and swear it off. This is her common practice. This "act" does not define you as a person and nor should it. What she did in the past is no longer of importance as what you are sharing now is something unique, not a replica of a relationship she had with those men. My ex used to get undressed and then he would crawl up to the bed kissing every inch of my body while gently whispering a love poem against my skin and then seal it with a kiss on my lips, to me this shows love and respect and I would be more willing to compromise in such situations to fulfill his needs. Unfortunately the last guy I slept with just ripped my clothes off and did his thing in which made me feel dirty and used. I guess respect is earned... Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 IF, this act is something that is very important to you within a relationship, then yes you should end the relationship. But... IF, this act is something that you can live without, then no you should not break up over it. What bothers you is the fact that her having done it to others, but not you, makes you feel inferior. That's YOUR issue, not hers, sadly. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 The point that many people are missing, is that my gf has done this act with many of her previous men. I am not trying to get her to do something she has sworn off or that she has never done before. I just that she has done it for everyone else so how could she not do it for me?What part of hating it, don't you understand? She's not with these other guys anymore. Might this have something to do with it, since they might have been controlling pricks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Irrelevant since your ex admitted to hating to do it. Yes she said she hated it.... but she still does it for everyone except me... that's my problem Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Yes she said she hated it.... but she still does it for everyone except me... that's my problemHoly crap, do break up with her since she deserves a guy who has a pinpoint of empathy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 IF, this act is something that is very important to you within a relationship, then yes you should end the relationship. But... IF, this act is something that you can live without, then no you should not break up over it. What bothers you is the fact that her having done it to others, but not you, makes you feel inferior. That's YOUR issue, not hers, sadly. You hit the nail right on the head I AM insecure about it. Wouldn't u be? I have lived without being swallowed since I was 18... 10 years ago. I could care less about it. Its just the principle. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 You hit the nail right on the head I AM insecure about it. Wouldn't u be? I have lived without being swallowed since I was 18... 10 years ago. I could care less about it. Its just the principle.So instead of working on your own insecurities, you're going to force them onto your girlfriend? Hello? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 You hit the nail right on the head I AM insecure about it. Wouldn't u be? I have lived without being swallowed since I was 18... 10 years ago. I could care less about it. Its just the principle. Would I be? I think I would prefer not to do things with my partner, that he had done repeatedly with other people. But, if I were to dismiss him (our relationship) over it, it is because I couldn't get past it. If it was something that was extremely important to me sexually, and I couldn't live without it, that is an entirely different story. I'm not suggesting that it's wrong to feel insecure by it or that you don't have a right to be upset by it. You're entitled to feel, however you want to. But, there is a fine line. You feel inferior, you want her to do it to satisfy that inferiority, she compromise her feelings to satisfy it. Is that really the type of relationship you want? Is that what your perception of love is? Since the "act" is not a big deal to you sexually and not something you HAVE to have, is there something else that the two of you could do together to satisfy your hunger? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 It's a matter of principle. Would you be saying the same if a woman was complaining about her partner refusing to perform oral sex on her when he did it with all of his previous partners?If he didn't like it, wouldn't bother me in the least. I'd wonder more about how inhumanly selfish his past partners were to insist on him doing something he doesn't enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 That's not what I asked, I asked if you would advise a woman to stay with someone if they weren't willing to do for her what they did for everyone else.If the OP were a woman in exactly the same scenario, I'd advise same. Gender is irrelevant when it comes to insecurity and selfishness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 So instead of working on your own insecurities, you're going to force them onto your girlfriend? Hello? This woman admitted to me that she has given herself to other men on a level that she will not to for me, even when requested. How am I not supposed to be insecure about that? What if your boyfriend held all his exes hands in public but wouldn't dare do it with you? Wouldn't you at least have some questions about it? Link to post Share on other sites
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