thecrucible Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Why do some guys ask to meet and then disappear? Was chatting with this guy last week, we agreed to meet this week, then he said "Can I give you my number?". I gave him mine instead, but he hasn't texted to confirm the day. Another guy asked me "What are you plans for tomorrow and next week?". I assume he meant meeting him so I answered, "I should be free at some point next week. Would you like to meet up?" What am I doing wrong? Finally, I am finding it difficult to keep up with all my online messages. It takes me 2 hrs a day to reply to all of them. I'm seriously going off online dating, I get bored and don't reply for days because it's too much of a job. Should I be more selective with who I reply to? I obviously don't reply to the really rubbish ones but I've had a lot of nice messages and feel bad if I can't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 I can see this to some extent. The other day I was hanging out with some female friends who were complaining about quality of men on OKC. I told them they were being too picky as I find the quality of women on OKC and Match to be good. So they brought up their accounts on an iPad and let me dig through what is out there. OMG it was pretty bad. After about ten minutes of searching I found a good looking dude in their age range who was a full professor and a well written profile. I was like there! That wasn't so hard was it? One of them grabbed the iPad and pointed out that the 14th pic was him dressed up like a Jedi holding his cat and pic 17 was a running shorts only selfie where you could see his junk. Yeah.... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Why do some guys ask to meet and then disappear? Was chatting with this guy last week, we agreed to meet this week, then he said "Can I give you my number?". I gave him mine instead, but he hasn't texted to confirm the day. Another guy asked me "What are you plans for tomorrow and next week?". I assume he meant meeting him so I answered, "I should be free at some point next week. Would you like to meet up?" What am I doing wrong? Finally, I am finding it difficult to keep up with all my online messages. It takes me 2 hrs a day to reply to all of them. I'm seriously going off online dating, I get bored and don't reply for days because it's too much of a job. Should I be more selective with who I reply to? I obviously don't reply to the really rubbish ones but I've had a lot of nice messages and feel bad if I can't respond. Because they're talking to a bunch of other women at the same time. Yes be more selected and more attentive of those you do talk to. Get to a face to face meeting quickly and of there isn't chemistry, throw them back and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Mo_Do Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 I only spend maybe a combined 2 hours a week on Match. That's enough to get some messages and phone numbers for next weeks dates. Anymore time than that and I end up with too many messages and its a chore or they get lost in the shuffle even when I liked them. Wind back the time you spend on there and then you can focus more on just 2-4 people at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Was just reading a study that said most men on OLD sites rate 5% of women as being "below average" in terms of attractiveness, while women vote 80% of men as being below average. The lesson here, as always, is that women are not good at math. Mind = blown! Very funny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 One of them grabbed the iPad and pointed out that the 14th pic was him dressed up like a Jedi holding his cat and pic 17 was a running shorts only selfie where you could see his junk. Yeah.... And this is meant to prove that they *aren't* being picky? "Oh gosh, a gainfully employed professional man with a little geek in him (perish the thought) and ONE unflattering pic. Where are the just-outta-jail slap-me-around types with shirtless selfies when I need them?" Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 The messages women receive via OLD are scary. My girlfriend has shared some with me and they are horrible. A lot of guys wonder why they have no luck with OLD, though I wonder how many of them understand how creepy most of their messages are. I've been getting a lot of seriously over gushy mails too. It makes them sound desperate and as if they would become my stalker if I were to give them my number. A few have also gone away and added photos or changed them and then come back saying they have changed their pics for me...Eek! Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 4-5 day response to an OLD site message is a guarantee that she's in the pre-meet messaging stage with someone else and then met, didn't go well, so she's responding to old messages. Totally NOT SO in my case. I just take way long to get back. Too much other stuff going on in my life. Dont understand why a lot of the guys are so damn impatient! They think your not interested if you're not prompt in replying. Maybe it's because I'm into the 40's-50's age range? All of my OLD prospects are 24 hr max response until I get their numbers, then its max 1hr for random texts and 2-5 minutes for active texts - across the board. i'm kind of afraid to give out my phone number. I would video chat though. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I just stopped talking to a guy because he took two days to reply and I don't know if that was wrong,he did apologise for taking so long but I just don't feel there is any excuse,it doesn't take long to write a message. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) I want to make a new profile for OLD and I can't think of a good username. Any ideas? Some names I came up so far. Yes I'm running with a pattern for now. GodzillaGoogles or GodzillaGiggles SuaveServal (that's the cat in my avatar) DangerDancer Edited May 21, 2014 by somedude81 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I was on old for months and got no responses back from anyone I sent messages too..the only interest I got was from an obese women wanting to "meet me" before she even sent a message.. So I was gonna delete my account but I asked my friend who's rather good looking if I can use his pictures before I delete it and he agreed.. Well as soon as I did I got more messages in the first hour with his pic then I did in 3 months.. All this talk about having a good profile and interests and blah blah blah the most important thing is how you look.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 how is the quality of these women ? while pictures are what draws a person it the rest plays a role too.. I think I'm average in looks and never had a problem getting replies.. but I also had a decent honest profile that was smart and funny, I also kept my expectations REAL.. like I didn't message women 15 years younger than myself Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Yes, looks matter. If you ever thought it didn't, you were naive and ignoring everything you've observed throughout your lifetime. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Yes, looks matter. If you ever thought it didn't, you were naive and ignoring everything you've observed throughout your lifetime. I always knew they did it's women who claim looks aren't as important to them as it is to men.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 You mean women care about looks too? I never would have guessed. You admitted you weed out the obese ones. Well it seems women weed out the guys who have whatever their equivalent of obese is. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I'm curious, were the women who messaged your friend in his league or below? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Oh sweet jesus please no, not this thread again . 6 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I'm curious, were the women who messaged your friend in his league or below? All over the place..A lot who he'd never give the time of day too.. Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Unless your 6'4, facially aesthetic, and have the body of Zeus..... You shouldn't be OLD, period. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Destined2B Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 To be more precise, it's actually the pictures that matter more than appearance (if you're looking for something substantial, that is). It is quite easy to gauge your personality and lifestyle from the kind of pictures you post. So if you are an average person living an interesting life and have pictures to back it up, you shouldn't have a problem finding someone in OLD. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Unless your 6'4, facially aesthetic, and have the body of Zeus..... You shouldn't be OLD, period. Yeah no this isn't true either. Please don't act like there's no middle ground between the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Adonis. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 You mean women care about looks too? I never would have guessed. You admitted you weed out the obese ones. Well it seems women weed out the guys who have whatever their equivalent of obese is. Probably right I'm short and not all that attractive..oh well 1 Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Yeah no this isn't true either. Please don't act like there's no middle ground between the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Adonis. I think the average guy has slim pics, unless he's a social superstar, like the above poster asserted. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 All this talk about having a good profile and interests and blah blah blah the most important thing is how you look.. There's been plenty of talk that looking good and having good photos are important in online dating. Sorry you missed it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I think the average guy has slim pics, unless he's a social superstar, like the above poster asserted. Look, lets be real here, there are a ton of average guys on OLD getting dates. I've dated them, pretty much every woman on this site has dated them so this idea that you have to be a hot social superstar is ridiculous. Frankly, many of the super hot, social guys don't even need to use OLD and they don't. Now if you're stereotypically but ass ugly? Yeah, of course you're going to struggle or have little - if any - success but there are a million guys out there who are neither super hot nor super ugly and lets not erase their existence of their success. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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