whoknows11 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Its only been day 3 of NC. Just doing what i can to leave my ex alone and finally give space. Cause she claims i never did give her it since breakup and she told me she needed it since day one. She didnt, she was completly fine with contact the whole time and was the one who wanted it. Ill post back stories to give everyone insight. But heres the thing, its really hard on me already. Even when im out with friends, each day seems so much harder. Hours go by longer. I just keep thinking of her. I dont try to. Usual thoughts ( does she miss me, think of me, is she seeing someone else, memories of us,etc) it just crushes me. I just wanna get through each day cause i know she isnt going to contact me. I just want to get through each day and not cave and contact her. Any ideas of things i can do to get my mind off her and just help days go by. I feel so down and out.
Author whoknows11 Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/331815-needing-miracle-there-still-hope
Author whoknows11 Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/335467-time-quit
bosox Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 You are in a really hard part of the BU. Sucks! People kept telling me to give her space and I would listen for about and hour then cave. NOT ONE TIME WAS IT WORTH IT!!! Anything you do right now will push her further away. Yes she is thinking of you and misses you and all those good things. And even if she is going on dates or whatever, she is thinking of you. Right now she has all the power and you are weak. If you contact her you keep giving her more power and making things easy for her to move on. Go NC. Do it to get your head on straight and get yourself back on tract. Also it will give her a chance to see what she really wants. If she comes back now because you make her feel safe she will most likely leave again in a week, month. Don't talk to her and you will get stronger and if she stil cares and wants to work thinks out then that's for next month or further down the road. Right now it's ALL about you and your happiness. Good luck!
Author whoknows11 Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 You are in a really hard part of the BU. Sucks! People kept telling me to give her space and I would listen for about and hour then cave. NOT ONE TIME WAS IT WORTH IT!!! Anything you do right now will push her further away. Yes she is thinking of you and misses you and all those good things. And even if she is going on dates or whatever, she is thinking of you. Right now she has all the power and you are weak. If you contact her you keep giving her more power and making things easy for her to move on. Go NC. Do it to get your head on straight and get yourself back on tract. Also it will give her a chance to see what she really wants. If she comes back now because you make her feel safe she will most likely leave again in a week, month. Don't talk to her and you will get stronger and if she stil cares and wants to work thinks out then that's for next month or further down the road. Right now it's ALL about you and your happiness. Good luck! Thank you. I dont really get much responses or help on here. I wish she thought of me or missed me at all. It seems like she doesnt. And that ill never hear from her. I wish i could believe her when she said she needs it for herself. She promised she wont do anything with another guy. But i dont believe it. Cause she wouldnt push me away like that. I just dont know. I dont wanna cave and its only the third day. Thinking of Her being with someone else, going on dates,etc just kills me. I dont even try to think of it. It would take a miracle for her to contact me or come back. Thats how it seems.
zanzi Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I know how you feel. My ex broke up with me yesterday because I too did not give him space. so I have begun NC. at the moment, rage and anger is fueling a desire to never want to talk to him again, even if he rang me today I'd be too angry to talk to him. In fact, I am thinking about connecting with an old flame. try to think differently then what your intincts tell you, they are in this case wrong. You musn't push her further away. You must begin NC. At the moment she has all the power and you have none. You must take back your power. She will be less certain of herself if she doesnt hear from you. If she does, she will know what you are doing, that you are not moving on. It is only once you have moved on from a relationship that was not working for either of you, that in the future you have a chance of speaking with her. Do all the things she didn't like you doing before the breakup.
Author whoknows11 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 I know how you feel. My ex broke up with me yesterday because I too did not give him space. so I have begun NC. at the moment, rage and anger is fueling a desire to never want to talk to him again, even if he rang me today I'd be too angry to talk to him. In fact, I am thinking about connecting with an old flame. try to think differently then what your intincts tell you, they are in this case wrong. You musn't push her further away. You must begin NC. At the moment she has all the power and you have none. You must take back your power. She will be less certain of herself if she doesnt hear from you. If she does, she will know what you are doing, that you are not moving on. It is only once you have moved on from a relationship that was not working for either of you, that in the future you have a chance of speaking with her. Do all the things she didn't like you doing before the breakup. I started on friday. Cause she told me about needing space and me never giving it to her after the breakup, but its been so hard. I dont believe in this no contact thing. I just see it as shes gonna move on and find someone else even though its her that needed the space. I just want her back. And to hear from her. This no contact is all i have.
zanzi Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I am so sorry for your pain. really, though I dont know you in person. NC is the only thing that had ever worked for me. I have tried begging, bargaining, and romantic reconcilliation- but none of them heal both of you better then the power of silence a separation. If you want her to miss you, you must give her the chance to do so.
steelgator Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 dude my girl said she needed space because she was hurt since i had come back to her. If shes angry or upset with you its a good sign. I once gave 3 weeks space and asked a simple hey how are you and she was quick to respond sounded like she missed me...when the last time i had tried contacting her it was only after a couple days of space and she was still angry at me. Now she is back to being angry so im close to the 2 week mark i know its hard bro but look at it this way...IF YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CONTACTING HER SHE KNOWS SHE CAN HAVE YOU BACK ANY MINUTE AND LIKES THE POWER. Put yourself in her shoes dude. If you don't contact her she'll probably be thinking "wow why isn't he begging for me back anymore? is he seeing someone else? does he not care anymore?". Scarcity bro. And when they do contact. Keep it short and simple don't bring up anything about you two act like YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT HER
bosox Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 That's the biggest thing right there. Act like you have a life without her. That is your ultimate goal. To have a life without her. Get to a place where you are happy, doing fun new things and I promise she will want you back. But you have to first get to a place that you are happy without her. It's a hard thing to remember but fact is it takes two people that are happy on their own to make eachother happy. Right now you are counting on her to come back and make you happy. Well that's only going to work short term. Go be kick ass and she'll want you back..
Author whoknows11 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 dude my girl said she needed space because she was hurt since i had come back to her. If shes angry or upset with you its a good sign. I once gave 3 weeks space and asked a simple hey how are you and she was quick to respond sounded like she missed me...when the last time i had tried contacting her it was only after a couple days of space and she was still angry at me. Now she is back to being angry so im close to the 2 week mark i know its hard bro but look at it this way...IF YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CONTACTING HER SHE KNOWS SHE CAN HAVE YOU BACK ANY MINUTE AND LIKES THE POWER. Put yourself in her shoes dude. If you don't contact her she'll probably be thinking "wow why isn't he begging for me back anymore? is he seeing someone else? does he not care anymore?". Scarcity bro. And when they do contact. Keep it short and simple don't bring up anything about you two act like YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT HER Ive been trying. She doesnt care at all. She could care less. She just texted me accusing me of requesting her constantly on facebook. I havent since we first broke up at the end of may. She kept it in her requests i remember. She put " stop requesting me. Just stop." and " im done with you, just leave me alone please." and started deleting our mutual friends. I told her i didnt request her honestly. I havent been on. She put " ok.bye." that was it. Im back at square one. Wasnt my fault. Not to mention i lashed out on her after. Im so pissed off.
Cl0udy Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 RUN!!! You have no idea how much running has helped. I actaully wake up now with no emotional pain. I love my new body and I love to run now. When ever you feel like you want to call wheather it's 12am or 12pm. Just RUN. After your first mile sit down on the curb and think things over. Run back home and take a shower. Each time you run you will notice how you don't think of her anymore. Plus you will never forget that you ran because it hurt you so much. That will be a remainder that she was not worth it. Running is awesome!
Author whoknows11 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 RUN!!! You have no idea how much running has helped. I actaully wake up now with no emotional pain. I love my new body and I love to run now. When ever you feel like you want to call wheather it's 12am or 12pm. Just RUN. After your first mile sit down on the curb and think things over. Run back home and take a shower. Each time you run you will notice how you don't think of her anymore. Plus you will never forget that you ran because it hurt you so much. That will be a remainder that she was not worth it. Running is awesome! It does sound helpful, and i appreciate the advice. But heres the outcome as of about 9pm. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/335943-a
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