Leigh 87 Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Aw jeez, I totally respect doctors and lawyers, but I wouldn't say they're above everyone else intellectually or intelligence-wise. One of my doctor friends says being in medicine is completely un-intellectual. Not to say you don't have to be smart; you totally do. But it's in great part being a mechanic for the human body; it's not "intellectual," per se. My older sister's a lawyer, and I have a lot of lawyer friends and acquaintances. They're very smart, but it's not as if regular people "can't hang" with them. I had a friend who studies law. I have had pleasant conversations and positive experiences with taking to lawyers ad fields I do not like and think are too " clever" for me. By " cleaver", I am trying to say.... I am not exactly a rocket scientist myself, and although my parents have a hard work ethic, I had a mental illness that has held me back from applying myself fully, and for a prolonges perido of time, in terms of studying.... So , I have yet to attain a level of intelligence that is in sync with what a lawyer would have had to grasp and cultivate. A lawyer has to read a temendous amount of text, and they also have to read about things that are utterly JOYLESS and highly uninteresting to me! I could be FRIENDS with one and I have been - yet, in a romantic partner, the closest person to me, I could not understand or relate to the fact that they wanted to read so much of something that I find so utterly boring.. With a partner, I tend to be very close with mine, and talk about their work and the things that they know.... I would utterly HATE the fine details of the law, in terms of discussing it in depth,, and if that is all they did for about 5 - 6 years in a degree, then, the have done something I would fine totally boring... Watching footy or cricket, fishing, and being a mechanic, are not things I relate to or enjoy as a past time.... But they are not so fundamental, the hobbies and interests, they are more shallow and it is not like they commit extensive years reading up on something I actually HATE ( like the law and legal system). With a mechanic- it is way out of my deapth, but it is a good profession for a man to have, and I relate to wanting to do a job that your adept at, as a man... Men are more apt to learning such trades.... I just would ot relate to a guy, on a deap and spiritual level, if their calling was to read a ton of books on a topic I find brain draining. I AM NOT having a go at them! I am saying I cannot feel truly close with a person, if they have dedicated a significant amount of their time, studying something I find so boring that in depth. I could relate more to a doctor than lawyer - the human body really interests me, but I lack the discipline and .. whatever it is, that it would take to get into medical school, and get through it. I am driven, I will work just as hard at MY type of jobs... but my type of jobs do not require so much of my time to be taken away. I guess the fact I would not work as hard or go through that much mental anguish, means I do not feel I can fully relate to a doctor, since they have done such a major thing in their lives. Moreover - doctors, like very good looking guys, tend to have a lot of girls interested in them; they garner respect, and girls who want to settle down would feel good about them. I just prefer a man who is in a more normal and commo profession, the sort of thing I could see myself doing, that is not some extreme workaholic, with a lot of options i girls to pick from. I also prefer a more average looking guy over a stud; because, allthough I do believe in myself and I do believe a doctor or male model could very well fall for my uniqueness.... It is unlikely, because they have so mnay options; many great girls, who are better looking than me. I like really friendly, average looking guys, in jobs that do not have women venerating; I like a guy who is a great guy, but that girls are not lined up aroud the block for. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 I am not into greedy Wall St types but I don't like people like that in general. Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 I'd be OK with her being in almost any profession that's legal/ethical, requires successful education to do the job well, and allows for a healthy work/life balance. I think I'd be particularly drawn to physically-attractive women who work in the tech industry - whether it's IT/engineering (but they have to have a social life) or something like marketing. I don't think I'd care much for: - politicians and lobbyists (considerable corruption; I prefer to keep a healthy distance between myself and politics) - celebrities (I prefer to keep a fairly low profile; many of them come across as shallow) - women who work in law enforcement, or are currently in the military (I appreciate what they do, but the thought of something bad happening to them might linger) Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Moreover - doctors, like very good looking guys, tend to have a lot of girls interested in them; they garner respect, and girls who want to settle down would feel good about them. I just prefer a man who is in a more normal and commo profession, the sort of thing I could see myself doing, that is not some extreme workaholic, with a lot of options i girls to pick from. I also prefer a more average looking guy over a stud; because, allthough I do believe in myself and I do believe a doctor or male model could very well fall for my uniqueness.... It is unlikely, because they have so mnay options; many great girls, who are better looking than me. I like really friendly, average looking guys, in jobs that do not have women venerating; I like a guy who is a great guy, but that girls are not lined up aroud the block for. I believe that everyone has the right to be with whomever they want to be with, Leigh. So I don't think you need to justify your preferences. Everyone has them and you're entitled to yours. That being said, I find this reason that you give for them.. slightly troubling. Why does a partner having 'better-looking options' worry you that much? This is not the first time you've elaborated on this, and it may be worth looking into. FWIW, I don't think men of certain professions have 'tons of women lining up to commit to them'. I think finding a committed partner who loves them for them is equally hard for them as it is for anyone else, perhaps harder because it's harder to filter the genuine ones out and also probably due to their taxing lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote=Leigh 87;4074363 I like people to take a basic interest in the world and current events, including the very basic political agendas and how they feel about important, big desisions... I prefer they know what each party stands for, too... In depth knowldege and extensive dsicussion is SOO MUCH in politics, but I like a guy to have a very basic understanding and interest, and be able to talk about it with me once a week..... Politics and law are like PB&J. You cannot have one without the other! Don't be so quick to write the lawyers, and aspiring lawyers, of the world. We get to learn a little bit about a LOT of different stuff through reading cases. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 A lawyer has to read a temendous amount of text, and they also have to read about things that are utterly JOYLESS and highly uninteresting to me! I could be FRIENDS with one and I have been - yet, in a romantic partner, the closest person to me, I could not understand or relate to the fact that they wanted to read so much of something that I find so utterly boring.. With a partner, I tend to be very close with mine, and talk about their work and the things that they know.... I would utterly HATE the fine details of the law, in terms of discussing it in depth,, and if that is al they did for about 5 - 6 years in a degree, then, the have done something I would fine totally boring... As I always say, to each their own... However, I didn't become a law student because I enjoy reading hundreds of pages about English common-law or terrible cases involving murder. That had nothing to do with it. Rather, I did it because 1) it fits my skill sets (research, writing, and speaking), 2) because the profession allows those who practice it to make a substantial difference in people's lives, 3) it is a career that is respected into old-age (no forced retirement) and 4) I can work for myself. That means I set my own hours, then come home, play guitar, drink beer, and watch the Pistons! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 Politics and law are like PB&J. You cannot have one without the other! Don't be so quick to write the lawyers, and aspiring lawyers, of the world. We get to learn a little bit about a LOT of different stuff through reading cases. I'm a big fan of lawyers. I know many people see them as corrupt (and I imagine some are and some are not), but that's not what I like anyway. I like the intellectual part of working in the legal field. It's a lot to do with ethics, philosophy, reasoning, etc. One of the hardest classes I ever took in college was Business Law. (Actually, it wasn't "hard," just challenging, and extremely interesting). At one time, I considered going to law school, but I realized that I didn't really want to be an actual lawyer; I just wanted to go to law school. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 One of my best friends is a lawyer, and she works from home. She travels all the time. She's so incredibly smart. She's an actual trial lawyer, too. I really want to go watch her in action some time soon. I think I will. I can totally see her acting like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. Or, you know, the girl version of that. On that note, I love movies that are courtroom dramas, including My Cousin Vinny! haha. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Pornstar or jazz musician. Or both... Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Definitely a super model. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I love learning about and trying out things my partners are into --> things that I otherwise may never have had a look into! The thing about law, is - I just find the study of the law, to be very boring; it is not to them, and I want a life partner to at least be able to talk to me about their jobs. I WOULD date a lawyer, I am sure there are some lawyers who would date people who were middle class professions, such as teachers, social workers; mayber even a personaltrainer like me, who is about to go into travel sales consultancy. My passions in life are fitness and travel, and do nto require a dergee to get great experience in. Another factor, is that I would imagine a lot of lawyers and doctors would not want a partner without a degree. I got a 92% on my ENTRANCE score that GETS me into a degree - yet, I have decided to put off a degree until I have other careers I am passion about as other options in life. I do not want to, at age 25, to get a degree, and be almost 30 without any skills besikes my degree; I career in travel and/or fitness mean I have more options, if I find a hard time getting a degree job; it means I do not have to work in hospitality or retail and low skilled jobs until I find a degree job. That said, some people just will not date chicks with no degree. Lawyers and doctors would be one of the types of people, in addition to business oriantated men, who are high achievers. My life plan, in my opinion ( to get a career I am passionate about, before getting a degree), is not alligned with a lot of high powered professionals, or people with highl respected jobs. I would not hesitate to date a lawyer or doctor, by a stretch, If we met and had somethining special betwee us! If we could have an amazing time together, click well, and teh realtionship is fun and effortless - sure, I would date a lawyer! It just seams they would prefer a more degree oriatated women. JUst a teacher or social worker, not high powered degrees.. I do not have ay degree, and therefore would not be as good of an option for very driven people, such as lawyers. ELS - I guess that answers your question! I think I have a great life plan, I am following my passions in life career wise - yet they are not degree jobs, although I do want a degree in social work later down the track, once I have an established job first though - I want to work full time and study part time, for my degree. At 25, I do not want ot study full time and wor part time; and I would never do both full time. Working full time and having an income, a job of my dreams in travel or fitness, and studying part time preferably ONLINE - would be my IDEAL life path. Unfortnately, I fear that a lot of highly powered or highl respected professions only want to associate with other similar professionals, OR people with AT LEAST a degree. I have found that I get along great with people with or without degrees - I have just gotten the feeling ONLIE, that men degreeholders prefer female degree holders; people with degrees in real life, I talk with and they like me just fine. They do not talk some complicated language I fail to understand. My vocabulary is as extensive ( I am not genius but we use troughl the same vocab) I guess I just realise some people with respectable jobs, prder women with degrees. I prefer the careers I outlined, they are alligned with the things I aqm interested in in life, I suppose - and feel I can relate to Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I am curious. What types of jobs/career for your mate do you consider "ideal"? And how much does it actually factor into your decision making? Are there any professions a person could have that would automatically make you cease dating them or not take things further? Say, if you met them and started talking, but then found out that they were a _____? Experiences with people of various professions? Hmmm? It factors in a lot. Not so much the money angle, but that they have passion, drive, and goals. Also, that they can relate to my world (I'm in academia...almost ). Someone I can bounce ideas off of and talk to and could hold her own at a academic social event. If a woman doesn't have at least a master's I think there will just be a disconnect. Not so much the intelligence angle, but she won't be able to relate much to my professional life, which takes up a lot of my time But then again, my mom barely has her HS diploma and her lack of college education actually provides a unique perspective. She's actually given me a lot of ideas that I would have never thought of by removing selective sight. So I guess that on the surface it matters, but you can never really know unless you get to know someone. If a woman is lazy and has no goals, or her job is unethical I wouldn't be interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Highness Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I'm a lawyer and I know a lot of men are intimidated by that. Its kind of pathetic; and their loss. Not all lawyers are the same - Im more a 'Legally Blonde' type myself. I work hard but I think its important to have fun and be silly every day too. When I met my boyfriend he was a postman. Now he's just started an entry-level IT position. He is not educated and not ambitious, but he applies himself and isnt a bludger. I could not care less what he did - as long as he is happy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 It factors in a lot. Not so much the money angle, but that they have passion, drive, and goals. Also, that they can relate to my world (I'm in academia...almost ). Someone I can bounce ideas off of and talk to and could hold her own. If a woman doesn't have at least a master's I think there will just be a disconnect. Not so much the intelligence angle, but she won't be able to relate much to my professional life, which takes up a lot of my time But then again, my mom barely has her HS diploma and her lack of college education actually provides a unique perspective. She's actually given me a lot of ideas that I would have never thought of by removing selective sight. So I guess that on the surface it matters, but you can never really know unless you get to know someone. If a woman is lazy and has no goals, or her job is unethical I wouldn't be interested. Ohhh yeah, you're the dude who's doing his PhD! I like academia people. My mom is totally uneducated also. She has like an 8th grade education from a third world country. Yet, she ran her own business for ten years in the United States. Also, she's awesome at all things domestic (cooking, sewing), and I'm not just talking "she does those things"; she does those things with mastery; she's sewn prom dresses that rival any you could buy from a store; her cooking is not the "follow a cookbook" type of cooking but the master chef type that deals with spices and just keeps throwing different things in the pot and tasting periodically to see if it tastes right, and magically, it does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 One of my friends went to Harvard Law. In a way, I can't believe I have a friend who went to Harvard Law. (Not to lionize Harvard Law). But hell, I do lionize Harvard Law! She's down to earth. She told me that she avoids telling guys she went to Harvard because they immediately act like "Oooohh, big shot. Should I be talking to you?" Any other person is free to state what school they went to, but as soon as she says it, it comes across as bragging even though that's not her intent. So she doesn't say it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) I like academia people. Thanks! Most of them are really cool! It's kind of a different world haha Oh and if you think business is cut throat, try the ivory tower! LOL My mom is totally uneducated also. She has like an 8th grade education from a third world country. Yet, she ran her own business for ten years in the United States. Also, she's awesome at all things domestic (cooking, sewing), and I'm not just talking "she does those things"; she does those things with mastery; she's sewn prom dresses that rival any you could buy from a store; her cooking is not the "follow a cookbook" type of cooking but the master chef type that deals with spices and just keeps throwing different things in the pot and tasting periodically to see if it tastes right, and magically, it does. Awesome story! My mom had her own business for a long time too! My dad also has no college (I'm 1st gen college grad), but the man can fix anything. The thing is my mom has a white collar job, b/c she is so good at multitasking. Very smart, just no formal education...which can be a good thing. On the surface I think I want this really intelligent, highly educated woman, but then these outliers have to come along and remind me not to pigeon hole myself Edited June 25, 2012 by TheFinalWord 1 Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 What types of jobs/career for your mate do you consider "ideal"? Businessman, attorney/lawyer, and doctor/surgeon. And how much does it actually factor into your decision making? It's the second factor in my decision making. Are there any professions a person could have that would automatically make you cease dating them or not take things further? Say, if you met them and started talking, but then found out that they were a _____? Teacher, military, and if he's a low-earner in specific science/technological fields commonly termed the geek fields like game programmer, computer programmer, computer technician, and web designer. Experiences with people of various professions? I've entertained and amused myself with bartenders, strippers, pornstars, escorts, actors, models, musicians, ceos, attorneys, doctors, and surgeons. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Teacher, military, and if he's a low-earner in specific science/technological fields commonly termed the geek fields like game programmer, computer programmer, computer technician, and web designer. I've entertained and amused myself with bartenders, strippers, pornstars, escorts, actors, models, musicians, ceos, attorneys, doctors, and surgeons. Umm, you're definitely entitled to your preferences, but the bolded tend to make more on average than the majority of other occupations on your list, because bartenders don't typically earn more than minimum wage unless they have good experience, actors and musicians struggle to make a living unless they're already famous and usually need to work another job to cover their expenses, and there isn't terribly much demand for male escorts, porn stars, etc - in fact, some male porn stars even work for free, and the majority are offered less than their female counterparts. Again, I get it if you simply don't feel that you're compatible with guys in tech fields, but why would you automatically assume that those fields are low-earning? Link to post Share on other sites
Theodora5 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 hello and welcome Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 so how many of you have dated unemployed deadbeats or those who are on the dole for years and years? my first husband owned a huge company. now at my age, i would like barely legal pool boys or personal trainers. just kidding i wouldn't date anyone who is dumb or chronically unemployed. my current husband is in IT like me. Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Umm, you're definitely entitled to your preferences, but the bolded tend to make more on average than the majority of other occupations on your list, because bartenders don't typically earn more than minimum wage unless they have good experience, actors and musicians struggle to make a living unless they're already famous and usually need to work another job to cover their expenses, and there isn't terribly much demand for male escorts, porn stars, etc - in fact, some male porn stars even work for free, and the majority are offered less than their female counterparts. Again, I get it if you simply don't feel that you're compatible with guys in tech fields, but why would you automatically assume that those fields are low-earning? I'm quite aware that those specific science/technological field professions generally make more than most strippers, bartenders, strippers, pornstars, escorts, actors, models, and musicians. I didn't automatically assume that those fields are low-earning note the keywords: "if he's a low-earner in" It's not about compatibilty for me it's about finding those fields unattractive professions and making an exception if the guy is a high-earner. Edited June 25, 2012 by udolipixie Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I have never dated an unemployed deadbeat since this is an automatic deal breaker for me. Business people - even if they are not cold and cut-throat, they tend to have a certain personality: outgoing, over-confident etc., which is a major turn off. I love quiet, humble guys. I would date another academic - they are generally cool and quirky, not as materialistic. However, most are uptight, lack an edge and bore me to tears. I don't meet any doctors and lawyers but I would be happy to date them Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Occupations that turns me on: Policeman (SUPER YUMMY!), Scientists, Zookeeper, Vets, Animal Welfare workers, Environmental Activists, or anyone who works for National Geographic! Occupations that are NO-GO: Butchers, Fishermen, Coroner, Pimps, Pornstar industry, Unemployed, Banker, Lawyers, Pilots, Clergymen. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 When I was younger someone's education background mattered to me much more, I only dated white collar guys. Now that I'm older, I put more emphasis on common sense and resourcefulness. I look at a man and see whether he has his life together and whether he generally knows what he wants from life. If he has a degree then great but I really don't care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Isn't everyone who makes money in business? What do you all mean by business person? I'm wondering if it means something different to each person who uses the word. I read that towards the end of his career, Picasso was obsessed with calculating the $ value per square inch of his paintings. Don't social workers try to get leverage to raise their salaries? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts