Author Clair93 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 She broke my laptop today (I left it somewhere outside my room for a few hours) and said it was an accident. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 She broke my laptop today (I left it somewhere outside my room for a few hours) and said it was an accident. Ask her: Since it was an accident, would she mind replacing it - or to pay the repair bill? Clair, I know you don't want to go to your father to discuss with him each daily terrible event. So, could you pretend you're in prison surrounded with criminals who are out of control, and with no supervision. Look Out for yourself and your possessions. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Bullshi.t! No way was it an accident. Tell your father. And yes, she can now buy you a new one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Well she offered that she'll get me a new one (that's not the point because she knew my dad would buy me a new one anyway, she's screwing with me). You're right I should look out more, I didn't think that she would even notice it since it wasn't somewhere in the house that she goes quite often. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Well she offered that she'll get me a new one (that's not the point because she knew my dad would buy me a new one anyway, she's screwing with me). You're right I should look out more, I didn't think that she would even notice it since it wasn't somewhere in the house that she goes quite often. Is it too late to tell her you'll take her up on her offer. After all, we're talking about the lap top and the computer cord earlier, right? Your father may start to get weary. Or is there a possibility she will lie about breaking the lap top - next? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Is it too late to tell her you'll take her up on her offer. After all, we're talking about the lap top and the computer cord earlier, right? Your father may start to get weary. Or is there a possibility she will lie about breaking the lap top - next? Well she would say it was an accident, and I don't care about her offer, if I say I'd take it up that means I'm agreeing that it was an accident and letting her do me a favor (from her point of view, what she wants others - my dad - to think). I'm just more comfortable taking care of it myself. I'm writing things down to give them to my dad altogether later, like you said I don't wanna run to my dad everyday for the things that she does. Like my socks are disappearing from laundry or my shoelaces are cut. I think her plan is to make me wanna start a fight, to make me look like the crazy one. I'm trying to remain calm. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Is your bedroom door locked with a key too? This way when you're not home she cannot go into your room. Do keep tabs on her, write down everything. Her cutting your shoe laces is passive aggressive and something your dad should know about. The socks? Hey I lose socks daily and not in the dryer! Don't mention the socks to your dad, but do mention the shoe laces cut. That's intentional and yes, she is trying to gaslight you, drive you nuts, get you to react. All this stuff her therapist should be aware of too. Has she started therapy yet? If so, is your dad going with her? Has he had her assessed (bi polar)? She needs serious therapy and meds.. Or she's just a plain mean person who is spiteful and messed up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Is your bedroom door locked with a key too? This way when you're not home she cannot go into your room. Do keep tabs on her, write down everything. Her cutting your shoe laces is passive aggressive and something your dad should know about. The socks? Hey I lose socks daily and not in the dryer! Don't mention the socks to your dad, but do mention the shoe laces cut. That's intentional and yes, she is trying to gaslight you, drive you nuts, get you to react. All this stuff her therapist should be aware of too. Has she started therapy yet? If so, is your dad going with her? Has he had her assessed (bi polar)? She needs serious therapy and meds.. Or she's just a plain mean person who is spiteful and messed up. My room has a key and I always lock it when I'm outside. Yeah she has started therapy now but I don't think that my dad is present. I don't know about the details (didn't think it's nice to ask my dad about that). Oh and about the socks, it's out of the ordinary sock disappearance. Imagine that I had 8 pairs of socks in the laundry, and one of the socks for each pair is gone, that's definitely her. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Go out tomorrow and buy a spiral binder (so you can't insert pages) and start documenting everything - just like a diary. Write down every single thing that happens. Once a week, sit down with your dad and read from the diary on what happened that week. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Include things like ths socks. That way, your dad will see the PATTERN. And that is what matters. btw, you need to ask your dad if HE told the therapist what the issues are. If he didn't, she will just go in there and paint any old story she wants (i.e.: lies). And that will accomplish NOTHING. I take it back. It will accomplish HER proving HER case so much so that the therapist will come to your dad and tell him that YOU are the sick one and you need to be committed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 This woman is seriously crazy, Clair. It doesn't sound like anything a therapist can cure her of. She has serious issues and if it doesn't come to a stop relatively soon, I would try and get out of there. Your dad knows none of it was you now and that you're not purposely alienating yourself from the rest of the family, but your own sanity needs to come first. It's not giving into them, it's keeping your mental health safe. If your dad has the financial means to help you with renting your own place or a room somewhere, definitely look into that. You shouldn't have to put up with this Sh*t a moment longer! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 the socks, the computer, the shoelaces... speaking as an independent bystander i see she's losing, each of these deeds are indications of that i know this situation would look better without a winner or loser, like a feud but she started it she is already very gaslit, the silly cow 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Go out tomorrow and buy a spiral binder (so you can't insert pages) and start documenting everything - just like a diary. Write down every single thing that happens. Once a week, sit down with your dad and read from the diary on what happened that week. I am doing this currently. The notebook that I'm using is spiral bound (however I wasn't thinking of it, just using a random notebook). Include things like ths socks. That way, your dad will see the PATTERN. And that is what matters. btw, you need to ask your dad if HE told the therapist what the issues are. If he didn't, she will just go in there and paint any old story she wants (i.e.: lies). And that will accomplish NOTHING. I take it back. It will accomplish HER proving HER case so much so that the therapist will come to your dad and tell him that YOU are the sick one and you need to be committed. Good point, I'll talk to my dad about her therapy. This woman is seriously crazy, Clair. It doesn't sound like anything a therapist can cure her of. She has serious issues and if it doesn't come to a stop relatively soon, I would try and get out of there. Your dad knows none of it was you now and that you're not purposely alienating yourself from the rest of the family, but your own sanity needs to come first. It's not giving into them, it's keeping your mental health safe. If your dad has the financial means to help you with renting your own place or a room somewhere, definitely look into that. You shouldn't have to put up with this Sh*t a moment longer! If I move out now I think everything will get back to the way it was. I've come this far, so it's not time to just give up. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 This woman is seriously crazy, Clair. It doesn't sound like anything a therapist can cure her of. She has serious issues and if it doesn't come to a stop relatively soon, I would try and get out of there. Your dad knows none of it was you now and that you're not purposely alienating yourself from the rest of the family, but your own sanity needs to come first. It's not giving into them, it's keeping your mental health safe. If your dad has the financial means to help you with renting your own place or a room somewhere, definitely look into that. You shouldn't have to put up with this Sh*t a moment longer! I agree with my wife on this one. Can your dad pay for you to have your own place? For your safety and piece of mind I think you should do this. The sooner you are away from that crazy woman the better! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 I agree with my wife on this one. Can your dad pay for you to have your own place? For your safety and piece of mind I think you should do this. The sooner you are away from that crazy woman the better! If you had your own place, perhaps you could arrange (through your father) for your siblings to come visit? I cannot see her leaving the household, or getting better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 My room has a key and I always lock it when I'm outside. Yeah she has started therapy now but I don't think that my dad is present. I don't know about the details (didn't think it's nice to ask my dad about that). Oh and about the socks, it's out of the ordinary sock disappearance. Imagine that I had 8 pairs of socks in the laundry, and one of the socks for each pair is gone, that's definitely her. Oh yeah she is messing with you! Glad that she's started therapy. I do hope your dad does go with her at times. Hmm I guess asking how things are going isn't appropriate but you could tell your dad that you're still scared of what she is capable of. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 How does your dad know for sure that she is going? Does he drive her there? Does she bring home receipts? Does he keep track of her to make sure she's not just driving off somewhere for an hour then coming back home? I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to just pretend to go, if she can get away with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 move out and watch her slither you out of any inheritance i know it's about love, but even so she could turn him against you; seen three like this, they wait for years, years, then it's a gentle and loving "have a good look at insert name, don't you think she's a bit insert flaw?" now and again, see she might turn him against you in the future 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 How does your dad know for sure that she is going? Does he drive her there? Does she bring home receipts? Does he keep track of her to make sure she's not just driving off somewhere for an hour then coming back home? I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to just pretend to go, if she can get away with it. Eventually if/when the time comes she does or can get better, family counselling has to happen with you, her and your dad in the same room. She needs to own her behaviour, what she's done to you and apologize for saying awful mean things about your mother. I am shocked that your dad didn't INSIST for a 3 day assessment at a hospital. She's voilent, it's intentional and she's shown how creepy and passive she can be by what shes done to you.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 move out and watch her slither you out of any inheritance i know it's about love, but even so she could turn him against you; seen three like this, they wait for years, years, then it's a gentle and loving "have a good look at insert name, don't you think she's a bit insert flaw?" now and again, see she might turn him against you in the future Exactly. My H's stepfather has done exactly this with his mother and she has been up his butt since day one, so if she does pass anytime soon from her cancer, I wouldn't be shocked if the stepfather did get mostly everything. The stepfather has done everything he can to make my H look like he is the one at fault with keeping him from seeing or helping his mother. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 i neva see my-sis in-law, i jus see my brother where he works, but not at thier home, like this i can be me free of her Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 i neva see my-sis in-law, i jus see my brother where he works, but not at thier home, like this i can be me free of her What? o_O *filler* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goodthingscome Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 When I was reading your post I thought just record a conversation. Then I read further and you did. Way to go!! Here is what I would do. I would hold a family meeting. Depending on the ages of your siblings I would invite them, your dad, and your stepmom. I would play it for everyone. Be prepared for the stepmom to fly off the handle when you do. This way your dad will know the truth. I would also be prepared incase he still sides with her. No one deserves to be treated that way. This is not your fault!!! You need to let your Dad hear this, I don't know about the kids, this isn't their issue. But your Dad NEEDS to hear this..... NOW before she has a chance to brainwash him.. Don't let her know you recorded it, and in the future I would always have a recorder on me and save them to a cd or flash drive and kept somewhere very safe. She sounds like a flippin NUT!!!! good luck and don't let someone like her drag you down. She is the problem not you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 Hi everyone. Thanks for your wonderful comments. Yesterday she told my dad that I had lost my temper and broke my own laptop. Well, of course I recorded that conversation which she said it was an accident. Last night she was very drunk, she started shouting midnight in the living room (of course, they were all insults to me and my mother) which woke us up (me, my brother and dad). Then when we came downstairs she continued her insults and threads and wanted to attack me (yeah, in front of everyone). Alright, she is leaving for some time. She will be staying with her parents. She sent me an email a few hours ago telling me how I ruined her life, how I ruined my father's marriage and how my siblings will pay for my selfishness. She tells me that if I had left everything would have been alright for everyone. This was the first conversation of our life that was more than a few sentences and did not have a reference to my mother. She's trying to make me feel guilty. I forwarded the email to my dad, he immediately replied that I should not listen to her nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I will be happy when she's out of the house Clair. Your hanging on and recording everything, really did help. SHE is the one who ruined it for her. From what you have said, she hasn't even nurtured her own children. IMO, that's the beginning in a messed up woman. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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