ThatJustHappened Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 well. he was under the impression that i was never going to talk to him again. He never played any games, he thought we were never going to talk again. He met someone else fast ect. but now we are talking. Im sure takes time to comprehend. We didn't talk for almost 2 years. So you're the one who played games then? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 nope he never told me not to text him. He text me last wee.We text briefly and he made a comment and i never text back. Sometimes he even ended his text with "Talk to you later". I don't want to get in the habit of texting him every day, But im pretty certain if i did, i would get an answer. but yes i think about him everyday. but thats no different.. I have thought of him everyday since we broke up Since you broke up? I thought you didn't consider this an affair? We all know its an affair, but you say it isn't but say you "broke up". You aren't making sense. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 To add; All is fair in love and war. Remember that if you ever meet the fist of woman's husband, and don't call the cops on him. Cuz afterall, all is fair, right? That is, if you ever are in the position of being an OM Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 The OP is making perfect sense, you are just trying to pick apart the words. They WERE in a previous relationship, from which they broke up. And if they are still texting with all the sweet nothings, let alone contact of any kind period, they are still in an emotional affair. Again, if they weren't, she wouldn't be here. If she isn't in an affair with this guy, she wouldn't be telling this story and wondering what his feelings are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 sorry.. i still have a hard time believe its an affrair.. I think u just want to make it as simple as black and white. We were in a relationship, didn't talk for almost two years, started texting. As far as an afraid, i have no idea if its even emotional on his part, or what it is on his part because i haven't asked him. He hasn't said anything that is emotional. Its foolish to say that im in an affair because i'm here. I don't feel that i am in an affair. There is no sex, there is no running around meeting up secretly, there is no one saying i love you, none of that. So no i don't believe we are in an affair. I have no idea whats going on. that is why i am here. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 What would you like to happen? For him to realize he made a mistake, end his marriage and be with you? Or are you just looking for him to be in your life, even if just by text so you can hear from him weekly? I guess I'm wondering what the whole point of it is, after 2 years..He's moved on and you're still hanging on. You say you've thought of him every single day which means you're still very attached and you've said you're still in love with him. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I never said they weren't. I said when she referred to them breaking up, she was referring to their PAST relationship, not the one they have going on now. Doesn't matter if she is referring to her past relationship, or the current one. The result is the same. She is engaging in an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 sorry.. i still have a hard time believe its an affrair.. I think u just want to make it as simple as black and white. We were in a relationship, didn't talk for almost two years, started texting. As far as an afraid, i have no idea if its even emotional on his part, or what it is on his part because i haven't asked him. He hasn't said anything that is emotional. Its foolish to say that im in an affair because i'm here. I don't feel that i am in an affair. There is no sex, there is no running around meeting up secretly, there is no one saying i love you, none of that. So no i don't believe we are in an affair. I have no idea whats going on. that is why i am here. Did you google "emotional affair" as I suggested? Is his interaction with you something that he's ok with sharing with his wife? Or is it hidden? I think the only reason you don't/can't see this as an affair is simple denial. You don't WANT to see it as an affair...so you insist that it can't be and choose not to view it as such. Open your mind, open your eyes...listen to what people have been telling you for the last 10 pages and two weeks here on LS, rather than trying to convince all the rest of us that we're clearly mistaken. Why ask for advice if you're only going to refuse/refute it? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 sorry.. i still have a hard time believe its an affrair.. I think u just want to make it as simple as black and white. We were in a relationship, didn't talk for almost two years, started texting. As far as an afraid, i have no idea if its even emotional on his part, or what it is on his part because i haven't asked him. He hasn't said anything that is emotional. Its foolish to say that im in an affair because i'm here. I don't feel that i am in an affair. There is no sex, there is no running around meeting up secretly, there is no one saying i love you, none of that. So no i don't believe we are in an affair. I have no idea whats going on. that is why i am here. Oy vey! The denial. Tell ya what. Tell his wife that you use to date him and that you two are conversing behind her back. If you aren't in an affair, she should have no problem with it, no? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Did you google "emotional affair" as I suggested? My guess is she didn't and wouldn't accept the definition even if she read it with her own 2 eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 I dont see how we could be having an affair from a few text, that aren't even frequent. And that are months and weeks apart! I wish it was more than text. I'm not here to define wheter a few text are an afair. I posted to see who had similar situations and what was the result. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I dont see how we could be having an affair from a few text, that aren't even frequent. And that are months and weeks apart! I wish it was more than text. I'm not here to define wheter a few text are an afair. I posted to see who had similar situations and what was the result. It doesn't matter. Its inappropriate for you and he to be engaging in contact when there is obviously still lingering feelings there. If I'm wrong, then it shouldn't be a problem for his wife. So ask her if she minds that her husband talks with another woman behind her back and let us know what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
rhw Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 if it has to be hidden, it's an affair regardless of the time continuum between texts or whatnot. if he's not telling his W about it, he's keeping it to himself and you. you are already in one. and if he's sexting you? Please. no W i know--unless they were swingers-- would ever, *EVER* be okay with their H sexting another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I don't feel like i am doing something wrong. 1. Does his wife know? 2. How would you feel if she called you and told you she read your texts? 1. What would you say to her if you two ever meet? 1 - If she does not know, you are doing something wrong. 2 - If you feel guilty or ashamed about what you have texted and she has read it, you are doing something wrong. 3 - If you meet her and have to apologize for your actions or words, you are doing something wrong. It is as simple as that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 I have no idea if he told her. I haven't asked. And actually I ran into her lol I was shocked but we said nothing to each other and I just kept on doing my thing. It was very odd situation. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I have no idea if he told her. I haven't asked. Then you are doing something wrong. And actually I ran into her lol I was shocked but we said nothing to each other and I just kept on doing my thing. It was very odd situation. Then you are doing something wrong. A courteous "hello" would have been appropriate and polite. You are in an emotional affair and are simply not copping to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 why didnt she say anything to me? why did i have to do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Well...I'm curious why you didn't mention the texts/etc... to her while you were there with her...since it's with her husband and all. You know, like "Hey (insert name)! Nice to see you again! I was just texting with your H, and here you are! Cool!". Had you done that, it would have been an excellent opportunity to ensure that this IS all out in the open. That you didn't says something else. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 why didnt she say anything to me? why did i have to do it? Uh, because she doesn't, more than likely, know that you and her H are up to, whereas you do. Thats ok, just keep thinking that you are doing nothing wrong, all the while looking for insight for something that, uh, you aren't doing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 why didnt she say anything to me? why did i have to do it? Can I ask how old you are? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Originally Posted by Searchin81 why didnt she say anything to me? why did i have to do it? Could be possible she thinks you two are still in NC mode after 2 years? And she didn't feel it was appropriate to say hi to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 i dont know what his wife knows. i don't ask. he doesn't tell me.. who knows maybe he shows her all our sexting and the messages i send and they make fun of them. that has crossed my mind Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 (edited) i dont know what his wife knows. i don't ask. he doesn't tell me.. who knows maybe he shows her all our sexting and the messages i send and they make fun of them. that has crossed my mind Right. You don't know what she knows, and you (deliberately and intentionally) don't ask. You don't ask simply because you don't want to know the answer. It leaves you a certain mental "out"...so you can continue to insist to yourself that what you're doing is ok/acceptable/not hurting anyone. It's the same reason you didn't say anything to he when you saw her...and yet you still were shocked to see her. Your original question was "will he text again". The answer is yes...as long as he doesn't get caught and forced to stop by his wife, and as long as you're willing to play...yes, he'll keep texting. I'd bet he already has since you originally started this thread. What's left to discuss? Edited September 6, 2012 by Owl Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Please spare me of telling me not to text him again because i lost him once.. and will never do it again. even if it is just friendship He hasn't text me in four days now and I am wondering if he ever will again You really should not be texting him anymore.. if he wants to let his new marriage go down that path then let him, without you helping him.. Honestly.. it's sad, and it's even sadder that you want to continue texting him.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 (edited) How could I tell if he wanted me for sex or had another interest? Also, hypothetically speakin.. And I'm not just talkin about my situation. Why is it some people marry someone they aren't totally in love with, go on a honey moon ect and go through all of that stuff.. U see it happen all the time.. Do they just get Love stuck and think the honeymoon phase will last forever? I don't. Understand how some people do this Edited September 7, 2012 by Searchin81 Link to post Share on other sites
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