Author Searchin81 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 How is that naive? I'm not a troll Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 He hasn't text me in four days now and I am wondering if he ever will again Hopefully his wife intercepted the texts and she is dealing with what to do with him now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 22, 2012 Author Share Posted August 22, 2012 why doesnt anyone think its possible that he still might love me? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 why doesnt anyone think its possible that he still might love me? Why does it matter? He is married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Well it's either three of these things.. He just wants me as ow for sex Wants to be friendly Or still loves me No idea which it would be He just wants me as ow for sex = bad idea that will lead to heartbreak Wants to be friendly = bad idea given your history Or still loves me = he should get divorced and pursue you as it is totally unfair to his W for him to be married to her while loving someone else OP, what possible benefit do you see of maintaining contact with this man? Option 1 is the most likely scenario and there is nothing to be gained from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 well he text me again today.. nothing important just small talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 I just keep telling myself that he can't possibly love me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 He's probably looking for some fun on the side. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 i just have some feeling inside me that says we are going to be together again someday. I have always felt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 i dont think im the ow right now. we only text. and when i say i think i will be with him again someday i dont mean as the ow. i feel that someday we will be together as a couple Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 i dont think im the ow right now. we only text. and when i say i think i will be with him again someday i dont mean as the ow. i feel that someday we will be together as a couple How long are you willing to wait? Put your life on hold for a man who doesn't seem interested in leaving and divorcing his wife? Your dreams and desires may be completely different than his. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 very true.. In the mean time i intend to get on with life.. but i still have that feeling. I don't intend on waiting for him or anything that nuts. But i think of him everyday and still miss him. But i know i cant put my life on hold for him. I have no idea how is relationship is with the wife he married after knowing her for only three months. I don't ask, she isnt my concern. As far as i know from what I have heard though, she is controlling and manipulative and tells him what to do. And doesnt have sex with him to often because she is afraid of spoiling him to much. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 very true.. In the mean time i intend to get on with life.. but i still have that feeling. I don't intend on waiting for him or anything that nuts. But i think of him everyday and still miss him. But i know i cant put my life on hold for him. I have no idea how is relationship is with the wife he married after knowing her for only three months. I don't ask, she isnt my concern. As far as i know from what I have heard though, she is controlling and manipulative and tells him what to do. And doesnt have sex with him to often because she is afraid of spoiling him to much. Bolded part. How can you go on with your life if you think of him daily and miss him? You'll keep yourself too attached. The rest of your post ; Just because you heard stuff about her doesn't make that true. Keep in mind who your source is and he'll bend whatever information he can to suit him best. And to keep you on your toes, interested and curious about him and what goes on behind closed doors. He hasn't left and he's not going to. This is how you need to think so you can get on with your life. If you hang onto to a 'feeling' or hope, it'll mess you up and you'll feel like you wasted energy on someone who isn't yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 Your very right in saying that. I try to tell myself that he inst mine. I know hes not. I don't intend on ever texting him first. If he text me ill answer by i wont text him. I have heard some of the information from him, and some from a mutual friend. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Your very right in saying that. I try to tell myself that he inst mine. I know hes not. I don't intend on ever texting him first. If he text me ill answer by i wont text him. I have heard some of the information from him, and some from a mutual friend. That isn't fact. It's a mutual friend who's heard something and him who has put his own spin on this. Chances are much higher that their sex life is pretty good. Ask most BS's about this aspect. How many MM's tell their OW's that their wives are cold in bed, (insert negative reason here) yet it's actually the complete opposite. They are SHOCKED to find out that the WS said this about their sex life. Link to post Share on other sites
hermione08 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Or you find that she really is cold. After all it's one of the most common causes for separation/divorce, especially after having kids: many women just don't want to have sex anymore. It is possible that she's cold, which makes him want to have sex with you. Are you ready to accept this is all you may be? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 As far as i know from what I have heard though, she is controlling and manipulative and tells him what to do. And doesnt have sex with him to often because she is afraid of spoiling him to much. "Nobody understands me/satisfies me/loves me the way you do." If he is truly unhappy in his M, then he will get a divorce and pursue you openly. Everything else is just a good game to get some on the side. If you're happy in that role, then go for it. But quit thinking that this is destiny or part of some grand love affair. Maybe read through the threads in this forum to get an understanding of the lies MM tell in order to land their OW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 I think everyone has a valid point. I just have a hard time letting it go when my own instinct says something else. I am not willing to be the ow just for sex. But even if he wanted me in another way, I'm sure it's not as easy as getting a divorce and pursuing me. That's to simple. I think things would have to happen gradually. I wouldn't expect him to get a divorce immediately and come back to me lol, that's crazy. I'm sure there would be a lot running though his mind first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I think everyone has a valid point. I just have a hard time letting it go when my own instinct says something else. I am not willing to be the ow just for sex. But even if he wanted me in another way, I'm sure it's not as easy as getting a divorce and pursuing me. That's to simple. I think things would have to happen gradually. I wouldn't expect him to get a divorce immediately and come back to me lol, that's crazy. I'm sure there would be a lot running though his mind first. You're missing the point. If he is unhappy enough in his M that he is thinking of pursuing you (or anyone else), he needs to resolve that situaiton first, either through counseling or by getting a divorce. Only after he is free and clear and has had time to consider his own role in the demise of his marriage, should he pursue you (or whomever). Your position seems to be that he can only leave his M if he knows he has a rock-solid safey net (you), which can only be established if he conducts an affair while he is still married. Is this what you want in a partner? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I think everyone has a valid point. I just have a hard time letting it go when my own instinct says something else. I am not willing to be the ow just for sex. But even if he wanted me in another way, I'm sure it's not as easy as getting a divorce and pursuing me. That's to simple. I think things would have to happen gradually. I wouldn't expect him to get a divorce immediately and come back to me lol, that's crazy. I'm sure there would be a lot running though his mind first. Your instincts are being led by your heart and emotions, not your head. Wishful thinking/hoping/your desires is what is driving this. Take a step back and look at the facts. If you can do that, be a bit more objective, you'll see a man who is not leaving his wife and divorcing. You'll see a man who is in this for himself, an ego feed and fun. Though I'm sure he has feelings for you, that at the end of the day doesn't mean much since he is a sitting duck and has no plans to change his life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 I know i try not to think about it. But it don't know how he could say to me 1 week before we stopped talking. "I miss You, I regret everything i did, I compare everyone to you, I wish i could cuddle with you, I sleep on the couch every night cause i hate sleeping in bed alone, If it didn't work with u i figure it wouldn't work with anyone " ect then we stopped talking and BANG one month later, with a new person, and moved in together and engaged all in less than 90 days. What could have possibly been going on in his mind? was he searching for a replacement? was he trying to hurt me? Was he just lonely and settled? Was i even a thought when he did it or was be just love struck? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 omg i ran into his wife today shopping. we never met each other. We did not say anything to each other. What would u have done in this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Olivia Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 omg i ran into his wife today shopping. we never met each other. We did not say anything to each other. What would u have done in this situation? I've read this whole thread, and I can't believe that a grown woman would ask the kind of questions that you do. If you're not a troll, you need a reality check. If you are going to let emotions rule your life, you will never be happy. Emotions come and go. If this guy left his wife for you and you had him all the time, it wouldn't be long before you'd start quizzing him on who he talks to and who he texts. You'd be searching his facebook friends for potential OWs. Either that or you'd get bored with him and wonder why you wanted him back in the first place. Look past your ego, and move on with you life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 I just think something is there still between us.. Not much can be done about it at this point.. but i think there is still a glow among the embers. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I just think something is there still between us.. Not much can be done about it at this point.. but i think there is still a glow among the embers. You say that as if you don't have a choice in this. Plenty could be done about it..you could stop talking to him. You are choosing to continue this affair. At least own up to that. Link to post Share on other sites
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