My 25 year old virgin gf

[kaylan]

Since you have experience, can you tell me how you two resolved your problems and bed problems? Did you two just make out (clothes on) and then one day she said I'm ready? Did you and her build up with more and more foreplay but no climax?

 

Since you've went through the motions you have insight on what path is to be expected.

 

Are you willing to share your experience?

My situation is different from yours. Though my ex did not want to have sex right away, and though she was paranoid about getting pregnant, we did do everything besides intercourse fairly quickly. There were plenty of climaxes as well before we had intercourse.

 

Hell, before we were official I was already going down on her. I was only the second guy to do that for her. So she was pretty sexually inexperienced and was interested in exploring her sexuality a bit. And once we became official I was also the first guy she went down on.

 

We had a very sexual relationship before having sex 4 months into our relationship. We would hook up almost every single time we saw each other during the first 2 months. I remember during the first month, one of our best days together was just lying around in my room naked and enjoying ourselves. Lots of foreplay and body exploration, and tons of talking and rest.

 

Sure I wanted to have sex, but I didnt push it right off the bat. I just enjoy what we did do, and enjoyed showing her the ropes early on. It did become frustrated in the 3rd and 4th months. We got very close to sex a few times, but she was scared of the pain, and also scared as hell to get pregnant. Condoms are never 100%, so she had a right to be paranoid.

 

Ill admit there were times where I was not the most understanding, but one has to see through the clouded influence of their hormones. And trust me, I pushed the envelope a lot with teasing during our 3rd and 4th month together. There were times where her body was begging for it, and her legs were literally pulling me into her. But I knew that reaction was just a primal urge and not reflective of her rational thinking. So id always stop. I didnt want us to have sex until after we had the discussion where she was absolutely sure she wanted it to happen.

 

Finally the time did come where she was ready. She said she was always positive she wanted me to be her first. I was honored by that...and loved the girl to death back then.

 

All I am telling you to do is take your time and respect your girlfriends wishes. Earn her trust. If you can deal with waiting...then just be patient with her and see what develops. If you dont think she will change and that you guys might not be sexually compatible, then move on and let her down easy. Though Im not sure itll be an easy let down any way you slice it.

[dbave]

Jane2011 - With conversations and emails saved throughout databases, its very easy to know every single thing about their partner. Extremely hard to hide lies. Private Investigators have now turned to google and facebook to find answers.

 

Please read on to find out how I dealt with that. Thank you

[InJest]

I don't care how awful it sounds. It's true. They're friends. In a committed relationship, people have sex. Maybe not frequently, but they do. She is obviously not very committed. He's already given her the g/f title, and they've already been fooling around, so I don't see what the big deal is.

 

This girl is getting everything she wants from this relationship, but the OPs needs aren't being met.

 

Honestly, dbave, I think you should break up with her, and just tell her that you can't handle a g/f with no sex drive. At least tell her that you two are still in the dating stage and she's not your g/f, until things get sexual, but really you should just break it off. This girl really just likes the attention and the power that this situation gives her.

 

Are you happy with the way things are?? It doesn't sound like it.

[Jane2011]

From the little I know from the thread, I say give the girl three months for sex. And work on the trust issues too.

[kaylan]

@InJest

 

How the hell is she not committed?

 

So every virgin that doesnt have sex with their partner in the first month is not committed?

 

Get the fudge outta her with that logic bro.

[InJest]

You're right, Kaylan. I should have said, she's not fully committed.

[dbave]

Ah I see, you misunderstood me a little. I use the word sex for jack off, going down and climaxes. I asked what her deal was on intercourse in the beginning after I found out she was a virgin. She said she wanted to wait which I'm perfectly fine on.

 

I waited a week and asked if she'd like to jack me off. She didn't say no. She just said "What?" smiling and then got all nervous. Then she changed topic and turned away in bed and left me hard on.

 

I have had only 1 climax with my gf for a month. You've had climaxes it seems every week.

 

Well I guess my gf trusts me so little or is so nervous that she is not willing to give me even satisfaction any way. But yes your right,

 

"If you dont think she will change and that you guys might not be sexually compatible, then move on and let her down easy. Though Im not sure itll be an easy let down any way you slice it."

 

That's the way it'll have to work. I'm going to wait a month patiently and see if she cares for my frustration. I am giving her 1 month room to make sure she is comfortable. Hopefully she will realize my gesture and give something in turn. Relationships are bipartisan, not dictatorships. If not, cancel the cruise and move on...

[veggirl]

Sorry but your girl sounds like a total weirdo with issues miles long. She tells you to F*CK her and suck her but won't touch you...and pushes you off her when you try, wtf? She sounds like she is 15, not 25. Virgins don't generally lie around naked telling their man to Fk them. Really, I can't even wrap my mind around it. She is warped.

 

Already giving each other FB passwords and cell phones to snoop through?

 

This is the most immature sounding relationship ever. Sorry.

[InJest]

Sorry but your girl sounds like a total weirdo with issues miles long. She tells you to F*CK her and suck her but won't touch you...and pushes you off her when you try, wtf? She sounds like she is 15, not 25. Virgins don't generally lie around naked telling their man to Fk them. Really, I can't even wrap my mind around it. She is warped.

 

Already giving each other FB passwords and cell phones to snoop through?

 

This is the most immature sounding relationship ever. Sorry.

 

Finally someone agrees that something is off about this wench.

[kaylan]

You're right, Kaylan. I should have said, she's not fully committed.

Im sorry. Its been one month and shes a virgin. She could be super committed to him and planning on him being her first. We cant tell in one month.

 

So lets be a little more rational please

[veggirl]

Finally someone agrees that something is off about this wench.

 

Er yeah, reading this whole thread was a trip.

[Nightsky]

Er yeah, reading this whole thread was a trip.

 

I like how every post in this thread got a like by the OP but one of mine haha.

[dbave]

Eh, guys I'm giving it one month to see things improve. If Im not happy, then I know what to do. I'll allow you guys to argue it out now about my inexperience and my gf issues.

[Jane2011]

I'm on both sides. I think she's a weirdo with issues. But if you like her, give her a chance. I think 25 year old virgins can become pretty normal in due time. Maybe.

[dbave]

There you are nightsky.

[Jane2011]

I like how every post in this thread got a like by the OP but one of mine haha.

 

I actually liked your post. I'm going to go back and like it officially, too.

[veggirl]

Eh, guys I'm giving it one month to see things improve. If Im not happy, then I know what to do. I'll allow you guys to argue it out now about my inexperience and my gf issues.

 

I don't think your expectations are too much, OP. I think she is just a wacko. Due to your inexperience, you'll prob get sucked in to the dramafest though.

[InJest]

Planning on someone being your first, and someone actually being your first is the very line between committed and fully committed. She clearly wasn't fully committed to her last boyfriend. Am I going a bit overboard?? Maybe, but considering what we do know about this girl, I think OP should make his decision sooner than later. I think the plan he has now of waiting a month is perfect.

[kaylan]

I don't think your expectations are too much, OP. I think she is just a wacko. Due to your inexperience, you'll prob get sucked in to the dramafest though.

I dont think shes a wacko. Shes just insecure and conflicted about what she wants. Her mind is battling her body.

 

No one here cant pretend like theyve never been there. A lot of us have been in situations where we had the primal urge to have sex, but our minds didnt think it would be the best decision.

 

Virgins def deal with this a lot more. So I dont think shes weird...I think shes just coming of age later than her peers. People need to chill.

[InJest]

If she's not ready for a relationship, and all that it entails, then she should stop using people as an emotional crutch.

 

Kaylan, at 25 your point starts losing a lot of validity, but you did at least address that.

 

Dbave, how long was she with her previous boyfriend?

[veggirl]

I dont think shes a wacko. Shes just insecure and conflicted about what she wants. Her mind is battling her body.

 

No one here cant pretend like theyve never been there. A lot of us have been in situations where we had the primal urge to have sex, but our minds didnt think it would be the best decision.

 

Virgins def deal with this a lot more. So I dont think shes weird...I think shes just coming of age later than her peers. People need to chill.

 

I don't think she's a wacko because she's a virgin. I think the sh*t she says and does is MEGA wacko. I don't think I need to chill? LOL. Sorry I forget you are the expert on all sexual things Kaylan and god forbid anyone disagree with you.

[dbave]

6 months in college. She excused why they didn't have sex because they were arguing all the time. She said she did try to have sex with him though but it didn't happen. They did alternative stuff.

[InJest]

So basically, she lied out her ass to you. Do you really believe she tried to have sex with a guy she had been dating for 6 months, and he said no. Are you that gullible?

 

I wonder what they were arguing about...

[ascendotum]

KathyM - Yes thanks for understanding. I did talk to her about it and really expressed my side. She also said her side as well about the pressure. So now when we make out on the couch she keeps her shirt on and she asks how I am doing in regards to be teased. So she is showing concern for me and I told her I will not bring sex up anymore. Not even mention about it.

My concern is that this is a gridlock.

 

A valid concern I reckon if I was in your shoes. She's happy now, the problem of sex has gone away for her....and you have no idea when 'ready for sex' will be with her. 2 mths from now...6 mths from now, till she gets over her trust issues and decides you are not hanging around her just to get laid.

I didn't see where you said how long you two had been going out for. If you have only recently got together then be patient if you love her, but I get the impression you have been in a relationship for more then a few months (ok just read its a mth only).

IDK, I'd be inclinded to want to go back to the naked make out sessions and have her jack you off and than just pash when fully clothed.

[dbave]

InJest - No you misunderstood. Apparently she backed down, nope him.... did I say him? Gotta look at my other post again.

 

K I'm off to jog cause its stressing