Very stressed, anxious and depressed (work related)

[HeavenOrHell]

Dust:

 

We both agree he needs to change his life, but I don't agree with anyone being forced into anything with no choice.

 

I'm sorry if I came across as aggressive, I have dealt a lot with mental health issues and I've often felt people with mental health problems are not being taken seriously/not being heard.

I've made many changes over the years to help my own problems, I'll never stop challenging myself to make a better life for myself, and Ross will do the same I am sure, but he needs to set his own goals and challenges, no-one can do that for him, no-one can tell him what is good for him, only *he* knows what he is and isn't capable of right now, with problems like ours we have to start small, there is no other way, that doesn't mean he will never be capable of certain things, he has to work towards them bit by bit. He will know what he genuinely does want to do and things he genuinely doesn't, ie he will work out which things he is too scared to do but wishes he *could* do, and will work towards those. Forcing him into something isn't going to help, trust me.

 

Ross knows that at the end of the day it's him who has to put in the effort to improve himself.

[Ross MwcFan]

Dust:

 

We both agree he needs to change his life, but I don't agree with anyone being forced into anything with no choice.

 

I'm sorry if I came across as aggressive, I have dealt a lot with mental health issues and I've often felt people with mental health problems are not being taken seriously/not being heard.

I've made many changes over the years to help my own problems, I'll never stop challenging myself to make a better life for myself, and Ross will do the same I am sure, but he needs to set his own goals and challenges, no-one can do that for him, no-one can tell him what is good for him, only *he* knows what he is and isn't capable of right now, with problems like ours we have to start small, there is no other way, that doesn't mean he will never be capable of certain things, he has to work towards them bit by bit. He will know what he genuinely does want to do and things he genuinely doesn't, ie he will work out which things he is too scared to do but wishes he *could* do, and will work towards those. Forcing him into something isn't going to help, trust me.

 

Ross knows that at the end of the day it's him who has to put in the effort to improve himself.

 

You're 100% right.

 

But sadly I think our words are lost on uncompassionate people, especially johan.

[HeavenOrHell]

Great to hear success stories like this Cee, good for you

 

But everyone is different, what works for one, won't necessarily work for someone else, different people, different circumstances, no-one has identical problems, we're all different and react differently to things.

Someone else with similar problems might have no choice but to quit their job, I can think of at least 2 friends who tried to continue with their jobs but ended up having break downs.

 

FWIW, my story...

 

I have a major mental illness (bipolar 1) and becoming employable was a struggle. I would get a job and go manic and quit. Or I'd become racked with anxiety and quit. All through my 20s and early 30s it was like that. I also developed agoraphobia for a while. It was a total mess, but I knew that my agoraphobia would get worse if I quit my job. I cannot tell you how horrible it was going to work for a few months. I'd panic at the job and was in a total fog. I was afraid of public transit for a while, which was really bad since I don't drive.

 

I thought about disability, but I was only eligible for $700 a month because of my crappy work history. So I stayed with my full-time office life. My mental illnesses didn't go away and, in fact, I was hospitalized in 2009. But I went back to work and did well. I began to feel like a regular person who happens to have a manageable chronic condition.

 

I was able to stick with my current job for over 3 years and was a major force in the agency. I was very good at my job and nobody looked down on me because I had to go to doctor's appointments and take meds.

 

Now that I have mastered the office world, I am now a consultant and doing well so far. I'm glad I didn't go on disability but health insurance is an issue. I pay out of pocket for mental health. My insurance is terrible.

 

Sorry about the length of my post, but it is a long story. I was diagnosed at 23 and it wasn't until I was 38 that I felt like a real grown up.

 

You have your own path and I have no answers for you, but I wanted to tell you my story. You are not the only one dealing with this stuff. And I have appreciated your honesty on the board.

[ThaWholigan]

Depression is a serious thing, I know people who have since taken their own lives because of it. Anxiety is something I have had to live with before, and it has not been easy getting over it.

 

I think just being told to effectively "get over it" is pretty much missing the point of depression. You can lead a horse to a trough but can't force it to drink the water.

 

Ross, I will provide you with some links tonight to help you, so you can download them. Eventually, you're going to have to move out of your comfort zone, even if you don't take a leap of faith, just a small step will do. You may have to see past the perhaps "brutal" nature of the posts here and understand what they are trying to tell you,

[Ariadne]

Hey thanks Aridane.

 

Yeah, I'm not sure if I should just tell them at this work related activity group thing, that I'm still not capable of working and there isn't really any help they could give me (since I'm already seeing a therapist, and I'm on medication).

 

Or whether I should tell them that I would only be capable of working at a job that involves animals since it's something I would enjoy, and that I'd probably feel comfortable with doing that kind of a job.

 

I would really like to tell them the latter, as I would really like to go into that kind of a career. But I think it would make my claims of not being able to handle working at most other kinds of jobs less valid.

 

I could just tell them yes, I'm capable of working and I'd love to work with animals, and hope that they find me that kind of a job, but I think there's a really decent chance that I would just be pushed into some kind of ****ty, boring, mundane, repetative factory work. I'm also worried about getting bullied at these kinds of places since it has happened before.

 

If I was to get bullied, I know that I'd either not do anything and come across and end up feeling like some total doormat loser, or that I'd go in the complete opposite direction and end up losing it and doing something stupid. And it feels like the latter is more likely.

 

Hey,

 

Not sure if it's a good idea to be picky as to the kind of work, they might not like that.

 

See what happens... they must be dealing with lots of people and have a way to go about it.

 

Also, I know animals are cute and all... I used to volunteer in a dog shelter and it was awesome. I'd sit down in the cage with a dog and put some blankets on the floor and have the dog sit next to me and I'd pet him, give him treats, bundle him up in a blanket, read a book, etc.

 

But nobody that worked there got to do that. The staff was busy cleaning the cages with water hoses, picking up poop from the patio, filling up trays of food with some mixes in the kitchen and delivering them really fast factory style in carts to the cages, then cleaning up the dishes, washing the blankets, toys, etc etc.

 

It was more like they worked for the dogs not with the dogs, maybe giving them showers was as much contact as they had.

 

So, not sure it's the picture you have in mind. Also trainer would suck as you have to train the animals to do silly stuff people like them to do.

 

Well, good luck with it all. Hope you can still get the money! Crossing fingers for you here.

 

Hugs.

[Eclypse]

 

Nevertheless, lazy bummers are not the reason why the economy in the US is so bad or people who work have a hard life. I'm pretty sure if you compared the amount of money that is spent for dubious military purposes or that ends in the pockets of corrupt politicians and the money that is spent on undeserved welfare checks then you would have to agree that the latter has hardly any effect on your disposable money.

 

I am certain without a doubt that is where most of the money is wasted! However it does come from the taxpayers and eventually there is a point where the economy can't support the dole bludgers anymore (Dole is Australian slang for the government assistance if you're unemployed). That is why protocols need to be employed in deciding who gets the benefits. If Ross well and truly can't work then that will come through in his interview and/or doctors reports and he will continue to rightly receive the money from the govt. If however they find he is able to work then they will make him work. I am thinking that the decision they make will be the correct one, as it is their job to do these sorts of things. Unfortunately these are tough economic times and some belt tightening will need to be done by everyone, and more people will need to start pulling their weight. I will give an example:

 

My grandfather suffers from Angina Pectoris. He was able to go on a disability pension 25 years ago when he was only 53, no questions were asked. Back then the economy of that particular country was in good shape and they were a lot more lenient with disability pensions and the such. Nowadays though that is no longer the case and having Angina Pectoris no longer qualifies you for disability. In fact you'd need to be pretty damn sick to get it (my grandfather was only a mild case). It is indeed unfortunate but that's the way things are and there's nothing we can do about it. It seems the UK is undergoing a similar reform.

 

I am very sorry that you consider me to be cruel Ross. I and others are just trying to tell you how it is. Saying you don't want to work because you consider most of the jobs to be boring or feel you won't get a lot of free time will not get you a lot of sympathy and will certainly not encourage them to extend your benefits. You will need to prove that you are actually incapable of doing work in order to qualify. I consider this to be fair. My parents work their asses off to keep us afloat. My mum works 6 days a week. I go days without seeing her due to our crazy schedules. They pay their taxes and frankly it is a little offensive that the money they earn through backbreaking work goes to people who have decided they don't want to work and just want to play video games all day.

 

I understand you are nervous and anxious. I am too. Dammit I'm always anxious! I feel like throwing up every day before going to work / uni. There's no easy path in life. Unfortunately you are at the stage where you no longer have control over what happens. Basically everything that has been discussed in this thread is now irrelevant. Either you will pass and get your benefits, or they will be revoked and you will HAVE to get a job or starve. Those are the only 2 options. As much as you don't want to, I would recommend you start looking for jobs.

 

I wish you good luck, and I hope you don't hate me for that advice.

[HeavenOrHell]

Some people here genuinely care and want what's best for you and want you to be happy, while the majority come across as bitter because they don't like or they hate their job and don't see why you shouldn't struggle with a job you hate/find difficult too, how dare anyone else have an easier life than them, god forbid, instead of trying to find a job/life they're happier with or find less of a struggle.

Not so much 'tough love' in most cases but looking down on you and feeling angry with you as you're a dole 'scounger'. And you dared to say you would find a job you find boring too depressing. Boring, mind numbing jobs are soul destroying and do affect our mental health, even more so if we already suffer with depression and stress, some people can handle mind numbing crappy jobs and others can't. Most of you who are sounding angry towards Ross and say you'd force him to work, have no idea what true depression and anxiety feel like, I'm talking about ongoing depression, and anxiety which takes over every aspect of your life.

 

Nobody can say 'this worked for me so it will work for you', or 'you should do this because I did'.

 

Me, personally, I'm just trying to live the best way I can, causing as little harm to others as possible, helping others as much as I can, (I devote my time to helping others via volunatary work) in a f*cked up society which I didn't create in the first place, it's MY life, no-one elses, I spent far too many years trying to fit into what others expected of me and it made me more and more depressed and ill. Only *I* know what my capabilities are and I will fight for a happier, more enjoyable life for myself and others til the day I die.

 

Sorry Ross, not meaning to take over the thread

[Eclypse]

I will say that the work I am doing is absolutely incredible. I am on the forefront of medical research. The stuff I am studying now nobody has done before. The reason I got to this stage was because I slaved away at school and during my Bachelors. You cannot expect to walk into to amazing job and lifestyle without putting in the hard yards. Get rich quick schemes just don't work in real life for most people.

 

HOH I respect your views. One is meant to follow the path in life that will make them happy. That is what matters after all. Unfortunately Ross hasn't got much choice. He will have to sink or swim. Yes that is unfair but there is nothing you or he or I or anyone can do about it. All one can do is adapt to new situations. And it is a bummer but Ross will have to start at low level entry positions, at least until he builds his resume.

 

We all have things we want to do. If I could right now I would pack up and move to some remote place by the beach in say Greece or Sicily. There I will spend my days swimming, cruising in my yacht, drinking beer and relaxing. Unfortunately that is not attainable for most people and we can't remain dreamers forever.

[Eclypse]

I should also add something. I don't care what people do with their time. And if they choose not to work then that's fine with me. But don't take government benefits then. If Ross can live with his mother on her pension then that's fine. But if everyone else goes to work and pays taxes just so he can sit at home and play video games... surely can see the ludicrousness in that!

[Ross MwcFan]

Hey everyone, sorry for getting so bent out of shape these last few days, I feel really stupid now. I was just in such a bad state.

 

For some reason, I've been thinking the very worst, and just focusing on that and imagining all the worst case scenarios that could happen, and then certain posts on here just made me feel even worse.

 

This morning, I woke up feeling the worst I've ever felt, but hopefully I can get over this somehow, I need to stop thinking the worst and start thinking more realistically. I need to stop focusing on the posts that make me feel bad, and focus on the positive supportive posts, that make feel better/good instead.

[Ross MwcFan]

Depression is a serious thing, I know people who have since taken their own lives because of it. Anxiety is something I have had to live with before, and it has not been easy getting over it.

 

I think just being told to effectively "get over it" is pretty much missing the point of depression. You can lead a horse to a trough but can't force it to drink the water.

 

Ross, I will provide you with some links tonight to help you, so you can download them. Eventually, you're going to have to move out of your comfort zone, even if you don't take a leap of faith, just a small step will do. You may have to see past the perhaps "brutal" nature of the posts here and understand what they are trying to tell you,

 

Thanks.

 

I know I have to move out of my comfort zone, and that's what I've been trying to do in very small steps.

 

I was feeling ready for doing some kind of voluntary work, I had rang my sister and asked her if she could come with me to an animal shelter, so she could show me how to get there and walk around with me, since I feel really self concious, like I'd look weird walking around there on my own.

 

Now though because of how I feel, I don't even feel up to going, I don't feel up to doing anything, even research. I just feel so demoralised. I just need to try and get over how I'm feeling somehow.

 

Hey,

 

Not sure if it's a good idea to be picky as to the kind of work, they might not like that.

 

See what happens... they must be dealing with lots of people and have a way to go about it.

 

Also, I know animals are cute and all... I used to volunteer in a dog shelter and it was awesome. I'd sit down in the cage with a dog and put some blankets on the floor and have the dog sit next to me and I'd pet him, give him treats, bundle him up in a blanket, read a book, etc.

 

But nobody that worked there got to do that. The staff was busy cleaning the cages with water hoses, picking up poop from the patio, filling up trays of food with some mixes in the kitchen and delivering them really fast factory style in carts to the cages, then cleaning up the dishes, washing the blankets, toys, etc etc.

 

It was more like they worked for the dogs not with the dogs, maybe giving them showers was as much contact as they had.

 

So, not sure it's the picture you have in mind. Also trainer would suck as you have to train the animals to do silly stuff people like them to do.

 

Well, good luck with it all. Hope you can still get the money! Crossing fingers for you here.

 

Hugs.

 

Thanks Ariadne.

 

Even if the work is like what you described, it still sounds like something I wouldn't mind doing.

 

Some people here genuinely care and want what's best for you and want you to be happy, while the majority come across as bitter because they don't like or they hate their job and don't see why you shouldn't struggle with a job you hate/find difficult too, how dare anyone else have an easier life than them, god forbid, instead of trying to find a job/life they're happier with or find less of a struggle.

Not so much 'tough love' in most cases but looking down on you and feeling angry with you as you're a dole 'scounger'. And you dared to say you would find a job you find boring too depressing. Boring, mind numbing jobs are soul destroying and do affect our mental health, even more so if we already suffer with depression and stress, some people can handle mind numbing crappy jobs and others can't. Most of you who are sounding angry towards Ross and say you'd force him to work, have no idea what true depression and anxiety feel like, I'm talking about ongoing depression, and anxiety which takes over every aspect of your life.

 

Nobody can say 'this worked for me so it will work for you', or 'you should do this because I did'.

 

Me, personally, I'm just trying to live the best way I can, causing as little harm to others as possible, helping others as much as I can, (I devote my time to helping others via volunatary work) in a f*cked up society which I didn't create in the first place, it's MY life, no-one elses, I spent far too many years trying to fit into what others expected of me and it made me more and more depressed and ill. Only *I* know what my capabilities are and I will fight for a happier, more enjoyable life for myself and others til the day I die.

 

Sorry Ross, not meaning to take over the thread

 

It's fine, lol.

Edited February 12, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[HeavenOrHell]

My point is we don't all have the same background, capabilities, opportunities, will power, etc etc etc, I never said people don't have to work hard to get where they want to be, some don't some don't, a lot depends on upbringing, I gave up at school because no-one took time to bother with me or encourage me, all they did was shout at me for being slow (I was slow because of my anxiety, it affects my ability to understand things, concentrate and take in information), but because you're a different person to me, with a different personality and circumstances (not saying you had better circumstances, I've no idea, just different) you managed to make the most of school and I didn't, there is no way I could have got many exams or gone to university, we do not all have the brains for it, so to me you are lucky in that you were able/capable of going to university, with much better chances of a job you actually enjoy and find fulfilling, we all need to feel fulfilled. I have tried doing home learning courses but I struggled to take the information in and retain it, so it does not work for me, so work for me means mostly stuff like stacking shelves or cleaning, and I have had plenty of mind numbingly horrible jobs like that, where even there I have been shouted at for being slow.

 

I can't speak for Ross of course, but from what he's said here, he did not have the opportunity or capability to go to university.

Hopefully though now he will gain the confidence to find a course he feels able to do and is meaningful to him.

 

Many people do sink, especially since the new g'ment came to power here, people are living in poverty and some have taken their own lives, I refuse to say there is nothing we can do about it, plenty of people are fighting back, refusing to be forced into things against their will.

 

 

I will say that the work I am doing is absolutely incredible. I am on the forefront of medical research. The stuff I am studying now nobody has done before. The reason I got to this stage was because I slaved away at school and during my Bachelors. You cannot expect to walk into to amazing job and lifestyle without putting in the hard yards. Get rich quick schemes just don't work in real life for most people.

 

HOH I respect your views. One is meant to follow the path in life that will make them happy. That is what matters after all. Unfortunately Ross hasn't got much choice. He will have to sink or swim. Yes that is unfair but there is nothing you or he or I or anyone can do about it. All one can do is adapt to new situations. And it is a bummer but Ross will have to start at low level entry positions, at least until he builds his resume.

 

We all have things we want to do. If I could right now I would pack up and move to some remote place by the beach in say Greece or Sicily. There I will spend my days swimming, cruising in my yacht, drinking beer and relaxing. Unfortunately that is not attainable for most people and we can't remain dreamers forever.

[Eclypse]

My point is we don't all have the same background, capabilities, opportunities, will power, etc etc etc, I never said people don't have to work hard to get where they want to be, some don't some don't, a lot depends on upbringing, I gave up at school because no-one took time to bother with me or encourage me, all they did was shout at me for being slow (I was slow because of my anxiety, it affects my ability to understand things, concentrate and take in information), but because you're a different person to me, with a different personality and circumstances (not saying you had better circumstances, I've no idea, just different) you managed to make the most of school and I didn't, there is no way I could have got many exams or gone to university, we do not all have the brains for it, so to me you are lucky in that you were able/capable of going to university, with much better chances of a job you actually enjoy and find fulfilling, we all need to feel fulfilled. I have tried doing home learning courses but I struggled to take the information in and retain it, so it does not work for me, so work for me means mostly stuff like stacking shelves or cleaning, and I have had plenty of mind numbingly horrible jobs like that, where even there I have been shouted at for being slow.

 

I can't speak for Ross of course, but from what he's said here, he did not have the opportunity or capability to go to university.

Hopefully though now he will gain the confidence to find a course he feels able to do and is meaningful to him.

 

Many people do sink, especially since the new g'ment came to power here, people are living in poverty and some have taken their own lives, I refuse to say there is nothing we can do about it, plenty of people are fighting back, refusing to be forced into things against their will.

 

I hear your thoughts, and I understand, and I apologize if I came across harshly. You really did not have an easy time I can see. I did not either (had to move to 3 countries times as a child and learn English), but like you said everyone deals with it differently. What really struck from your post was your will to keep on fighting. That is in my opinion the most important thing. You are trying and doing your best to succeed and no one can put you down for that. It's frightening the way you describe that you are unable to take in information. My girlfriend actually suffers from something similar. She had clinical depression and she tells me she can't take in information at school. She performed poorly in high school but she managed to do some courses and is in university now. She is still struggling but the most important thing is that she is trying, just like you.

 

Ross you will need to get out there and find what you want. If you really want to work at that animal shelter (a common theme in your threads) then you need to take that first step and call them up and apply. You will no doubt feel much happier once you get some experience there and start getting your life back on track. Good luck!

[HeavenOrHell]

So let him either starve or be forced into a cr*p job because he has no qualifications, how compassionate! It's about time mental illness was taken as seriously as any other illness.

The government just love it when people turn against each other rather than fighting the government for the way they choose to run our lives, conveniently forgetting politicians swindle taxpayers of millions, just so glad more and more people are fighting back, to take some control back into our lives.

 

 

I should also add something. I don't care what people do with their time. And if they choose not to work then that's fine with me. But don't take government benefits then. If Ross can live with his mother on her pension then that's fine. But if everyone else goes to work and pays taxes just so he can sit at home and play video games... surely can see the ludicrousness in that!

[HeavenOrHell]

I am sorry too if I come across harshly, you probably gathered this subject is something which affects me deeply!

I'm so sorry to hear about your gf's problems as well, but it's great she's doing so well even if she struggles still

 

I agree Ross needs to contact the animal shelter, maybe that could be the first step. Ross, I've done so many things which have terrified me the last few years, but each time I go through the fear barrier it gets easier bit by bit, give it a try, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain!

 

 

I hear your thoughts, and I understand, and I apologize if I came across harshly. You really did not have an easy time I can see. I did not either (had to move to 3 countries times as a child and learn English), but like you said everyone deals with it differently. What really struck from your post was your will to keep on fighting. That is in my opinion the most important thing. You are trying and doing your best to succeed and no one can put you down for that. It's frightening the way you describe that you are unable to take in information. My girlfriend actually suffers from something similar. She had clinical depression and she tells me she can't take in information at school. She performed poorly in high school but she managed to do some courses and is in university now. She is still struggling but the most important thing is that she is trying, just like you.

 

Ross you will need to get out there and find what you want. If you really want to work at that animal shelter (a common theme in your threads) then you need to take that first step and call them up and apply. You will no doubt feel much happier once you get some experience there and start getting your life back on track. Good luck!

[Ross MwcFan]

I hear your thoughts, and I understand, and I apologize if I came across harshly. You really did not have an easy time I can see. I did not either (had to move to 3 countries times as a child and learn English), but like you said everyone deals with it differently. What really struck from your post was your will to keep on fighting. That is in my opinion the most important thing. You are trying and doing your best to succeed and no one can put you down for that. It's frightening the way you describe that you are unable to take in information. My girlfriend actually suffers from something similar. She had clinical depression and she tells me she can't take in information at school. She performed poorly in high school but she managed to do some courses and is in university now. She is still struggling but the most important thing is that she is trying, just like you.

 

Ross you will need to get out there and find what you want. If you really want to work at that animal shelter (a common theme in your threads) then you need to take that first step and call them up and apply. You will no doubt feel much happier once you get some experience there and start getting your life back on track. Good luck!

 

I need to go there first to get a feel of the place, and to see if it's somewhere where I would feel comfortable with working there.

[Ross MwcFan]

I don't mind the idea of volunteering at a hospital that's near by me. But I've tried looking online and can't find anything, the hospital doesn't have it's own website.

 

I could ring up, but I don't know what to say. Can anyone help?

[HeavenOrHell]

Would it be possible to ask your therapist or GP if there is a service there which will have someone who can go along with you to things like this? I used to have someone who helped me with going out (agoraphobia) and things like buses. It might be GP/therapist referral only though.

 

http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_services/

 

Otherwise, could your therapist help you work towards going to the animal sanctuary, by breaking down all your fears step by step?

 

One of the things I do is work in charity bookshops, you don't have to work on the till if you don't want to, I prefer to work 'out the back', I love it, and have met some lovely people through it.

 

The Do It site, might be of interest, you can type in the sort of thing you are interested in http://www.do-it.org.uk/

 

Just try to be aware when your mind starts telling you all the reasons you can't do something and catastrophises, no wonder things seem hard/impossible/frightening when we put all those barriers in the way and imagine the worst!

 

Try not to give into those thoughts and let them make you immobile.

 

Try to turn it around and start to believe you CAN and WILL do things and things CAN go right.

 

 

I need to go there first to get a feel of the place, and to see if it's somewhere where I would feel comfortable with working there.

[Ross MwcFan]

Would it be possible to ask your therapist or GP if there is a service there which will have someone who can go along with you to things like this? I used to have someone who helped me with going out (agoraphobia) and things like buses. It might be GP/therapist referral only though.

 

http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_services/

 

Otherwise, could your therapist help you work towards going to the animal sanctuary, by breaking down all your fears step by step?

 

One of the things I do is work in charity bookshops, you don't have to work on the till if you don't want to, I prefer to work 'out the back', I love it, and have met some lovely people through it.

 

The Do It site, might be of interest, you can type in the sort of thing you are interested in http://www.do-it.org.uk/

 

Just try to be aware when your mind starts telling you all the reasons you can't do something and catastrophises, no wonder things seem hard/impossible/frightening when we put all those barriers in the way and imagine the worst!

 

Try not to give into those thoughts and let them make you immobile.

 

Try to turn it around and start to believe you CAN and WILL do things and things CAN go right.

 

Me and my therapist have broken it down into steps already. He thinks I should just drive there, and have a walk around. And we've discussed all the things that may happen, like not being able to find it, getting lost, me feeling like I look odd walking around the place on my own, but I just can't do it, I really really can't. That's why I'm waiting until my sister will be able to go with me, even with that I'm feeling really anxious about it, and I'm worried that when I see the place I may feel like I wouldn't be able to handle volunteering there, because if that happens, that's one less option that I've got, and I've hardly got any options to begin with.

 

Thanks for the links, I'll look into them.

[HeavenOrHell]

Ring and say; "Hello, I'm just wondering if you have any voluntary jobs I could apply for please?"

 

 

I don't mind the idea of volunteering at a hospital that's near by me. But I've tried looking online and can't find anything, the hospital doesn't have it's own website.

 

I could ring up, but I don't know what to say. Can anyone help?

[Ross MwcFan]

Ring and say; "Hello, I'm just wondering if you have any voluntary jobs I could apply for please?"

 

Thanks. I will 'try' and do that.

[cerridwen]

Hey everyone, sorry for getting so bent out of shape these last few days, I feel really stupid now. I was just in such a bad state.

 

For some reason, I've been thinking the very worst, and just focusing on that and imagining all the worst case scenarios that could happen, and then certain posts on here just made me feel even worse.

This morning, I woke up feeling the worst I've ever felt, but hopefully I can get over this somehow, I need to stop thinking the worst and start thinking more realistically. I need to stop focusing on the posts that make me feel bad, and focus on the positive supportive posts, that make feel better/good instead.

 

Yes.

Do a lot more of this.

Because Ross, unless I'm mistaken, you're not psychic.

You do not possess the ability to foretell how things will work out.

There is just as good a chance this could prove beneficial as it could be detrimental.

It's all about perception.

 

So, while I understand anxiety can fuel negative thinking, there is a certain amount of control you have over your thoughts.

Exercise it.

Develop the habit of seeking out the positives in any situation.

If you have difficulty doing that, post here for insight and help along those lines.

Be open to the opinions.

Grab onto the possibilites.

I think people would be happy to help.

Edited February 12, 2012 by cerridwen

[Ross MwcFan]

Yes.

Do a lot more of this.

Because Ross, unless I'm mistaken, you're not psychic.

You do not possess the ability to foretell how things will work out.

There is just as good a chance this could prove beneficial as it could be detrimental.

It's all about perception.

 

I know, I know, I just really catastrophize sometimes.

 

So, while I understand anxiety can fuel negative thinking, there is a certain amount of control you have over your thoughts.

Exercise it.

 

For me I think it might be more that my negative thinking fuels my anxiety.

 

I guess I do have some control over my thoughts, but it's more like my thoughts (or maybe my feelings?) are in control of me, sadly. Not sure if there is anything I can do to change that.

 

Develop the habit of seeking out the positives in any situation.

If you have difficulty doing that, post here for insight and help along those lines.

Be open to the opinions.

Grab onto the possibilites.

I think people would be happy to help.

 

Thanks, will do.

Edited February 12, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[lino]

I've been following your threads for quite some time mate and even if I don't write on here that much, I've been reading every so often and I can see you are making genuine progress. I'm very happy about that for you

 

Do whatever it takes to get in the work force as earning a crust and working for everything you've got is one of the most satisfying things in life.

 

I know you will get there!

 

 

Also disregard the crap that some of the people here type up. A lot of them literally have nothing better to do than amass tens of thousands of posts making snide remarks or cheesey 'jokes' online.

[Els]

Ross, I know this sounds terribly unempathic, and I'm sorry. But here it is: You're incredibly lucky.

 

2/3rds of the world's population doesn't even have the OPTION of going to a work clinic and possibly continuing on benefits, Ross. 2/3rds of the world's population either finds some way to survive... or dies. It isn't that those people don't have depression or anxiety or OCD. They do. But they have no choice. They don't have government subsidies while they can go to therapy and try to regain some semblance of normalcy to their lives. You are so much luckier than they.

 

I've seen amputees weaving baskets and painting cards to try and earn a living. I've seen men with gangrenous legs begging on the streets to afford treatment. I've seen people with Downs' Syndrome working in factory lines. I know that depression is sometimes caused by chemical imbalance and is a 'real' disease. I get that. But like any disease, you have some manner of control in how you react to it.

 

I have anxiety and OCD too, btw. I just scrolled back in my head to count how many times I washed my hands and bathed today: about 20 and 5 respectively. I can spend hours obsessing over a particular thought. When I did an internship that forced me to be up at 6 each day to work at a place I hated, I probably slept a cumulative amount of 20 hours the entire 3 months because my insomnia was just that bad.

 

But I find ways to work around it. Because I don't have the options you have. I'm luckier than others in that I have people funding a graduate program that I'm doing so that I will have the future option of flexible hours when I do my PhD and research. Because I know I need them and I'd never survive on a 8-5 job. You have more options than I do. You just need to take them.

 

Frankly, I have no doubt that if you just got your funding cut off, you wouldn't just roll over and die. You'd do what you needed to do.

 

Why not start now???