Anela Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I hear ya. But you know I respectfuly disagree. I believe anxiety disorders as they are called by the so called professionals only make the situation worse. I don't think he can just snap out of it but I don't think its helping him to just be given money. Not to mention giving him money hurts many more people then it helps with the warfare/welfare system. It grows the government in untatural ways that has lead to very bad things and probably the reason for his anxiety in the first place. He doesn't realize it but he'd be happier with a job. He's lost touch with reality though and says things like "I'm trying to volunteer." He's been saying that for a very long time now. I know he'd be better off if they cut him off. In the end it doesn't matter because its out of his control. If he'd like hes perfectly welcome to feel the joy of taking what control he can of his life again. Not all of them are. PTSD, for example. Social anxiety isn't just a little bit of shyness, either. someone reminded me the other day, that trauma can literally damage or change the brain, and she extended that to DNA. I know that I was fine before certain things happened, when I was a kid, and they changed me - they changed my natural responses (that had been healthier), and I'm still affected. I do agree that there are too many labels out there for things, and too many drugs that they're trying to push and match them to *something*. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I don't think he's lying and I think its natural to be lazy. The thing is him being removed has put him in this situation to be nervous about government bureaucrats. It's put him in this situation to feel like he has no control over anything. I just think I know better then him. The guy is also like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde in that he claims to be to afraid to even tell a shop keep he doesn't need help and is forced to leave yet goes around picking fights with people like me with my very common veiw point that welfare doesn't help. Making personal attacks on my character calling me cruel. Then he complains about boring jobs... Welfare creates boring jobs, it makes all our money worth far less and allows government to grow far to big making all the paper pusher crappy jobs that exist. It isn't laziness. I have been a lot better lately, but last night, after a really awful surprise and situation unfolding, I was back to being curled up on the couch, crying and feeling gutted, and then hyperventilating. I've barely had any sleep, due to the panic attacks. When I have actually gone through with some things in the past, I wondered what had taken me so long, but even successful outcomes can be followed up with an anxiety attack. It's exhausting, and demoralizing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 Hi Ross, Do you have all your documentation in order in terms of your medical history? If I were you, I would collect all the documentation you have and also get a current statement both from your therapist (you are currently seeing one, is that right?) as well as your GP on how they gauge your capacity to work (or not) and under what circumstances (and not). I realise you have probably handed this in to the welfare authorities before, but I wouldn't count on them having your records readily available and it's probably also good to have updated information. Bring copies of everything you have to the interview, along with any recommendations from your therapist/ GP as to what would actually help and support you to improve your situation. When you ask for current, written statements from your GP and therapist, explain to them exactly what they are for, who will read it, and the kind of scenarios you are worried about that you already wrote about in your OP. In other words, get the professionals to explain your situation for you in writing, so that you don't have to worry too much about explaining it all by yourself to the personal advisor. The climate of 'welfare reform' in the UK is really tough now and like PNP said this process is likely to be uncomfortable, but given that there is also a lot of resistance to the current reforms, perhaps there are some activists in your local area who can also give you some help with your case. Hey Denise, I think I've still got all the documentation somewhere. I'm not sure if that and statements form my therapist and doc would be beneficial to the work related activity group thing, but it will definaltey be beneficial for the assessment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 It isn't laziness. I have been a lot better lately, but last night, after a really awful surprise and situation unfolding, I was back to being curled up on the couch, crying and feeling gutted, and then hyperventilating. I've barely had any sleep, due to the panic attacks. When I have actually gone through with some things in the past, I wondered what had taken me so long, but even successful outcomes can be followed up with an anxiety attack. It's exhausting, and demoralizing. Take no notice of him Anela. I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time lately, is it just anxiety that you suffer from? Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Take no notice of him Anela. I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time lately, is it just anxiety that you suffer from? Very rude again, she'll take notice of me if she wants too! You have no control over that just as you have no control over whether welfare will just be given to you. The people who work have spoken and they want reform. You are not entitled their redistributed money which is neither here nor there because whether you understand or not you've been miserable for years and not working is a big part of it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) I agree with you Ross 100%. Hope it works out and that they don't give you too much of a hard time. Good luck! Hey thanks Aridane. Yeah, I'm not sure if I should just tell them at this work related activity group thing, that I'm still not capable of working and there isn't really any help they could give me (since I'm already seeing a therapist, and I'm on medication). Or whether I should tell them that I would only be capable of working at a job that involves animals since it's something I would enjoy, and that I'd probably feel comfortable with doing that kind of a job. I would really like to tell them the latter, as I would really like to go into that kind of a career. But I think it would make my claims of not being able to handle working at most other kinds of jobs less valid. I could just tell them yes, I'm capable of working and I'd love to work with animals, and hope that they find me that kind of a job, but I think there's a really decent chance that I would just be pushed into some kind of ****ty, boring, mundane, repetative factory work. I'm also worried about getting bullied at these kinds of places since it has happened before. If I was to get bullied, I know that I'd either not do anything and come across and end up feeling like some total doormat loser, or that I'd go in the complete opposite direction and end up losing it and doing something stupid. And it feels like the latter is more likely. Edited February 10, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Hey thanks Aridane. Yeah, I'm not sure if I should just tell them at this work related activity group thing, that I'm still not capable of working and there isn't really any help they could give me (since I'm already seeing a therapist, and I'm on medication). Or whether I should tell them that I would only be capable of working at a job that involves animals since it's something I would enjoy, and that I'd probably feel comfortable with doing that kind of a job. I would really like to tell them the latter, as I would really like to go into that kind of a career. But I think it would make my claims of not being able to handle working at most other kinds of jobs less valid. I could just tell them yes, I'm capable of working and I'd love to work with animals, and hope that they find me that kind of a job, but I think there's a really decent chance that I would just be pushed into some kind of ****ty, boring, mundane, repetative factory work. I'm also worried about getting bullied at these kinds of places since it has happened before. I've been reading up on the situation in the UK today. Theres a good chance you're going to lose your funding. I'd start looking very hard for a job you don't consider mundane. Call up a place that has animals you want to work with and set it up to go volunteer or start training Monday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 You still posting? Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 You still posting? Yes why was I suposed to stop. Tell you what you agree to only post in threads you start and I'll agree not to post in them. Otherwise stop being so rude to me and trying to boss me around in a public forum. Also realize theres a good chance you will lose the money you are getting and I'm the only one giving you actual advice and telling you that you'll be fine in fact better off! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 I'm sure I can hear something... Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I'm sure I can hear something... Well enjoy being stressed, anxous and depressed about not working and soon to be working. I'm done giving my advice and encourgement to you. Enjoy all your yes men all the way to the grave of a life unlived. How mundane is that? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Ross As others have suggested, make sure you have all documentation regarding your current state of wellbeing and ability to work. Then, I hate to sound cliched, take a deep breath and go for the interview and see what happens. I understand (as much as I can) your anxiety and that you are deeply troubled by this but it really may help you to push your boundaries if you are found suitable work. To interact with other people on a daily basis, to get our of the house, to feel as if you are earning your way. This could all be very positive for you. The fact is that our Government's approach to welfare means that you as an individual have to prove your entitlement to benefits. As someone who has always worked since completing full-time education, I support this - I hate the concept of scroungers. Why should I work to pay for someone to laze around all day. However I also know that there are people who are genuinely unable to work and they should be entitled to adequate benefits. When someone posts "you're going to lose your funding", they obviously do not fully understand the welfare system in this country - do not allow yourself to be stressed by comments such as this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 Keep bashing away at your keyboard Dust, I can't see anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 Ross As others have suggested, make sure you have all documentation regarding your current state of wellbeing and ability to work. Then, I hate to sound cliched, take a deep breath and go for the interview and see what happens. I understand (as much as I can) your anxiety and that you are deeply troubled by this but it really may help you to push your boundaries if you are found suitable work. To interact with other people on a daily basis, to get our of the house, to feel as if you are earning your way. This could all be very positive for you. The fact is that our Government's approach to welfare means that you as an individual have to prove your entitlement to benefits. As someone who has always worked since completing full-time education, I support this - I hate the concept of scroungers. Why should I work to pay for someone to laze around all day. However I also know that there are people who are genuinely unable to work and they should be entitled to adequate benefits. When someone posts "you're going to lose your funding", they obviously do not fully understand the welfare system in this country - do not allow yourself to be stressed by comments such as this. Hey Anne, yeah, I mean, I would be very happy with 'suitable' work, and I feel like it would be beneficial to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Keep bashing away at your keyboard Dust, I can't see anything. Now we're just playing you and I. This must be fun for you! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 The things is Ross is that you might be surprised what might be suitable for you - it may be that there is something which does not involve working with animals that you will love doing. It may be that you have been incredibly unfortunate about who you have worked with in the past and that is now tainting your views about future work. I have worked in places I hated and places I loved - but all doing similar-ish work. It was the people that made the difference and there are plenty of places out there where they will make you feel welcome and accepted. You just need to give them a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 The things is Ross is that you might be surprised what might be suitable for you - it may be that there is something which does not involve working with animals that you will love doing. It may be that you have been incredibly unfortunate about who you have worked with in the past and that is now tainting your views about future work. I have worked in places I hated and places I loved - but all doing similar-ish work. It was the people that made the difference and there are plenty of places out there where they will make you feel welcome and accepted. You just need to give them a chance. I totally agree about the people making a difference. I've worked at places where the people were really friendly and great but the work was boring, and they were so so much better than the places where I've worked at, where the most of the people were just dicks and treated me badly, yet I was actually really interested in the work itself. I have started thinking about the fact that if I do have to take some crappy job, that it doesn't have to be permenant, I can still do whatever I can to get out of that job and get into one that I would enjoy doing. It's just that if I'm bullied/treated badly there, it is something that will always stay with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I have started thinking about the fact that if I do have to take some crappy job, that it doesn't have to be permenant, I can still do whatever I can to get out of that job and get into one that I would enjoy doing. It's just that if I'm bullied/treated badly there, it is something that will always stay with me. Thats the spirit. You're older now people are less likely to bully you... but seriously try not to worry about such a thing. You've got some fight in you and seem to enjoy it so take the chalenge head oun should it occur. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I have started thinking about the fact that if I do have to take some crappy job, that it doesn't have to be permenant, I can still do whatever I can to get out of that job and get into one that I would enjoy doing. Exactly It's just that if I'm bullied/treated badly there, it is something that will always stay with me. I have experienced bullying in the workplace and it really knocked my confidence. When I got another (better) job elsewhere, it was like a breath of fresh air when I rediscovered that I actually could do my job and do it very well. Whilst I know that my old boss had tried to bully me, I can now look back and see that said far more about her own personal inadequacies (and incompetance) than it ever said about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) Exactly I have experienced bullying in the workplace and it really knocked my confidence. When I got another (better) job elsewhere, it was like a breath of fresh air when I rediscovered that I actually could do my job and do it very well. Whilst I know that my old boss had tried to bully me, I can now look back and see that said far more about her own personal inadequacies (and incompetance) than it ever said about me. Sorry to hear about you getting bullied Anne. With me it had always been workmates who builied me, and never my boss or any superiors. And there have been a few other places, were some of my workmates were rude towards me when I didn't deserve it. Edited February 10, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Sorry to hear about you getting bullied Anne. With me it had always been workmates who builied me, and never my boss or any superiors. Thank you Ross I have also experienced attempted bullying from a peer at another workplace but I could see straight away that was from her own personal insecurities and jealousy. The point is Ross - the bully is the weaker person, not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 Thank you Ross I have also experienced attempted bullying from a peer at another workplace but I could see straight away that was from her own personal insecurities and jealousy. The point is Ross - the bully is the weaker person, not you. I know, but it just makes me feel so weak when I don't do anything and just let them treat me that way. It makes me so angry. The only way I know of sticking up for myself is to confornt them, to do something back, but I'm worried about the repercussions. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Confronting (within reason) is often the thing to do. It is not what they expect and many cannot cope with. It will make them either withdraw and shut up or make them more aggressive - which will often mean that others see them for their true colours and withdraw their support. Suddenly the bully is not so big and powerful. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 This is going to undo all the progress I've made in my life over the years. I'm already finding it very hard to get out of bed because of this because it's making me feel so depressed, and I'm feeling really anxious and worried all the time.Ross, whatever they make you do will be better than what you have now. Listen to yourself, you're afraid of everything and yet you CAN do all that. You can drive, you can work, you can deal with people. We all deal with people. Aren't you sick of yourself and your fears? We are on this earth temporarily anyway and we don't know how much life we have left, so why stress over stupid things? I know I am not in your skin and you have your issues, but you have to pick yourself up and just say "So what?" I know, but it just makes me feel so weak when I don't do anything and just let them treat me that way. It makes me so angry. The only way I know of sticking up for myself is to confornt them, to do something back, but I'm worried about the repercussions. You know, "they" don't owe you anything. The government is kind enough to expend taxpayers' money so you can avoid working. The least you can do for the people who are writing free checks for you is show them you have a reason for not working. If you would like towork with animals, why don't you get training/degree/certificate in veterinarian assistant or something like that? People who work with animals are usually very kind and unlikely to give you a hard time. You could also be a delivery man (no co-workers or supervisors above your head), but you would have to drive. You could work many jobs, because you're physically healthy. As for crappiness, most jobs are crappy and we do them, come home, complain, and then get back to work the next morning. You can't be exempted just because you don't like working. You could work at home, right? How about some craft? It's just that if I'm bullied/treated badly there, it is something that will always stay with me. You don't think it stays with the rest of us? You don't think we are scarred from insignificant people treating us badly? Of course we are! But we suck it up, try to change the situation and move forward. Be excited about your life moving, who wants to be imprisoned among four walls with his own anxiety? Don't give in to your fears, just force yourself to be strong and brush the negative thoughts off. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Be excited about your life moving, who wants to be imprisoned among four walls with his own anxiety? Don't give in to your fears, just force yourself to be strong and brush the negative thoughts off. Good advice, RP. Ross, it may help to recognize the catastrophizing and stop that kind of distorted thinking. Try looking at this as an opportunity. You'd been interested in normalizing your life. Working a job is one way to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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