Emilia Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Guys are weird. I do not understand them. That much is obvious Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Guy #1 just contacted me and wished me a happy V-day. The last time I heard from him was at the beginning of November. He suggested going for a hike and I didn't reply, since he had already sent me more messages than I wanted to reply to. He did that to every single girl he knows because he is depressed on Valentine's day and he thinks he'll never get a girlfriend or will never get laid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PlumPrincess Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 He did that to every single girl he knows because he is depressed on Valentine's day and he thinks he'll never get a girlfriend or will never get laid. Oops. Now that you mention it, that doesn't sound unrealistic. Really, I just seem to become more cynical every day, not smarter when it comes to guys. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Guy #1 just contacted me and wished me a happy V-day. The last time I heard from him was at the beginning of November. He suggested going for a hike and I didn't reply, since he had already sent me more messages than I wanted to reply to. Guys are weird. I do not understand them. Ignoring texts is not only rude, it is unproductive. It keeps him hanging on to the fact that he still might have a shot at you. Things would have turned out much cleaner if you just replied to his first text in November and said, "Look, I just don't see anything between us. Let's just cut contact, OK." Done and gone. Would you contact a girl on Valentine's day when she has been ignoring you for like 3.5 months? And I'm not sure how Americans view Valentine's day. It seems that it's not only a romantic holiday there and people also express their affection to platonic friends, but here it's a day for couples. He spent quite a lot of time in the States, so maybe he also views it as a nice day to remember friends, but well, it's still kind of weird. He's still a person with feelings, not a number (Guy#1) who is line to be your suitor. If I were you, I'd text him thanking him for the Valentine's wishes. Then, if he gets back up on the horse, use the text I suggested above. Life is too short to be playing silly games. Treat people like people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PlumPrincess Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Ignoring texts is not only rude, it is unproductive. It keeps him hanging on to the fact that he still might have a shot at you. Things would have turned out much cleaner if you just replied to his first text in November and said, "Look, I just don't see anything between us. Let's just cut contact, OK." Done and gone. He's still a person with feelings, not a number (Guy#1) who is line to be your suitor. If I were you, I'd text him thanking him for the Valentine's wishes. Then, if he gets back up on the horse, use the text I suggested above. Life is too short to be playing silly games. Treat people like people. Hey, I told him after the first date, when he messaged me about something, that I didn't think there were any sparks between us and he told me back that he also didn't think we would be a good match. I DID NOT LEAD HIM ON, OK?! I'm just not the kind of person who messages a lot, especially if I don't feel the spark and he just kept on emailing me, offering to bring me something from a business trip or help with moving, etc. I hadn't replied to the old message and already got new ones. Honestly, I'm not sure if he is really that into me or just not feeling lonely and bored, because he misses the States and doesn't know that many people here. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Ignoring texts is not only rude, it is unproductive. It keeps him hanging on to the fact that he still might have a shot at you. Things would have turned out much cleaner if you just replied to his first text in November and said, "Look, I just don't see anything between us. Let's just cut contact, OK." Done and gone. He's still a person with feelings, not a number (Guy#1) who is line to be your suitor. If I were you, I'd text him thanking him for the Valentine's wishes. Then, if he gets back up on the horse, use the text I suggested above. Life is too short to be playing silly games. Treat people like people. Standing ovation. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Honestly, I'm not sure if he is really that into me or just not feeling lonely and bored, because he misses the States and doesn't know that many people here. Maybe he's just a nice guy and wanted to say hi. Not everybody plays games. Not everybody's actions every single moment of their life is an action or reaction towards trying to get a mate. I realize that's the MO of a lot of people on this forum, but it ain't mine. And maybe it's not this guy's. Lighten up. It's Valentine's Day! Send him a text and thank him. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 (edited) Hey, I told him after the first date, when he messaged me about something, that I didn't think there were any sparks between us and he told me back that he also didn't think we would be a good match. I DID NOT LEAD HIM ON, OK?! I'm just not the kind of person who messages a lot, especially if I don't feel the spark and he just kept on emailing me, offering to bring me something from a business trip or help with moving, etc. I hadn't replied to the old message and already got new ones. I think the opposite. He is hoping you are single and will respond to him out of desperation I don't think you're obligated to respond to all of his messages if you don't like him. You told him once he has no chance. If he doesn't get the hint, then that is his problem. The fact you even did that shows character. A lot of guys and girls go MIA after the first date. You provided closure, which was nice. Many guys here have probably never been in the reverse situation. I have a girl that to this day (yesterday in fact!) will still e-mail me even though I have zero interest in her. It gets kind of creepy. Until you're on the receiving end of such communication it is hard to understand. I am not going to respond to her b/c it keeps them thinking they have a chance. As far as settling, Those guys had attributes you did not like. Now, you may consider a second date if you like. I would consider it if you the guy is not completely repulsive to you. As a guy I can tell you I have done dumb things on a first date mainly out of nervousness. But if a girl showed up with no tooth, I would not go out again. One poster said dating is supposed to be fun. haha I don't know what their dating experiences have been like, but I would not consider a first date fun unless there is mad chemistry + compatibility between the two. For example, both of you are into golf and you spend hours talking about your swing and also find the other person attractive. Then it can be fun. But how often does that happen? Even then you have to have your guard up to make sure you don't give off bad signals. I liken a first date to an interview. If I'm sitting in interview and I am finding the job is great and sounds exciting, I can get excited. But I am still guarded and wouldn't consider it fun. As a guy, I know first impressions are critical. Now, there have been many dates in which I did not feel I was on my game: I said something stupid or did not feel I looked my best. Looking back, I wish the girl had given another chance. But she didn't so there's nothing you can do about it. As a sane man I know you can't "talk a woman" into liking you. If you said "no chance" I would promptly delete your number and move on. But I am sane This guy keeps pursing which comes across as needy to me. Yuck! Good luck with your dating! Edited February 14, 2012 by TheFinalWord Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I forgot who the idiot was who said men would always pick younger women. Hypothetical case: 55 year old man has the choice between these two women, one who is 50 and one who is 58. Who would he pick? People are hung up on numbers. Do you have sex with a birth certificate or with a body? Link to post Share on other sites
Author PlumPrincess Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Maybe he's just a nice guy and wanted to say hi. Not everybody plays games. Not everybody's actions every single moment of their life is an action or reaction towards trying to get a mate. I realize that's the MO of a lot of people on this forum, but it ain't mine. And maybe it's not this guy's. Lighten up. It's Valentine's Day! Send him a text and thank him. He had trouble maintaining eye contact with me during the meeting. He just looked like someone who is interested in me, but too shy to say it. Which doesn't mean that I'm not going to write a friendly thank you back. Really, you guys need to cool down in regards to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PlumPrincess Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 Ok, I haven't replied back... I'm not sure what to say... I don't understand why someone with whom I haven't had contact and basically ignored for months would contact me on Valentine's Day. Did he use Valentine's Day to initiate friendly contact (How do Americans view Valentine's Day? Is it just for lovers or also for friends? ), because I had reactived my dating profile some days before? Or is he completely and utterly dense? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Aside from NYC and Southern California, in what parts of North America (especially cities) are the majority of older women taking care of their sex appeal? I gotta hear your answer to this one. Calgary is a very rich city and I would say that perhaps even 50% of older women here have had some work done. It never ceases to amaze me how many "skin spas" and plastic surgeons there are per capital. There isn't a stigma against it here at all. Oil money and oil men's wives.... So many women dye their hair blonde here, it is hilarious. You'd think we were all Swedes. I am a brunette and I love my hair (very long hair) so I don't prefer to dye it. I am very much in the minority here. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I was looking to date someone from Calgary because of the spectacular national parks nearby (I like hiking) and because Canada is closer to the US than the UK but has plenty of British expats. I know nothing about the city otherwise. When I search several different dating websites, there are few men from the Calgary area, which seems strange. Is there some super secret Canadian dating website? Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Ok, I haven't replied back... I'm not sure what to say... I don't understand why someone with whom I haven't had contact and basically ignored for months would contact me on Valentine's Day. Did he use Valentine's Day to initiate friendly contact (How do Americans view Valentine's Day? Is it just for lovers or also for friends? ), because I had reactived my dating profile some days before? Or is he completely and utterly dense? Don't reply at this point. Just let it go, if you contacted him it would only get his hopes up. Most men become a little irrational with their thinking under such circumstances. Always finding hidden meanings, things that just aren't there and such. Besides, he wasn't honest with you back in November so its unlikely he would be now or on the future. Link to post Share on other sites
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