Significant necklace?

[HappyAtLast]

"It assumes that somehow in my case, me thinking of the OW is bad for me and my marriage."

 

Here is some advice from a very old man, which, of course, you are free to ignore as you see fit. There is nothing good that comes of you continuing to do this after eight years.

 

Yes, I agree that healing happens on someone's own schedule, not some version of "industry standard", if you will. That said, consider you might be 45 years old (obviously, I have no knowledge of your age). Eight years is 17 percent of your life.

 

While I understand that you say this does not consume you, the fact that you need to view this particular OW's social networking pages is NOT a good thing. There is no other way to slice it, nothing good will come for you, from this.

[Summer Breeze]

I'll do my best to respond, but not to everyone especially if others picked up and ran with the discussion.

 

 

 

This happened a long time ago (ie new jewelry for me). I have known about the necklace since d-day (I have the receipt for it).

 

 

 

I guess I consider this to be cookie-cutter type advice. It's often dished out to BW who are wondering about the OW. It assumes that somehow in my case, me thinking of the OW is bad for me and my marriage. I suspect that many OW are uncomfortable with the thought that the BW might legally retaliate for the affair.

 

 

 

I agree.

 

 

 

Thank you - you get it!

 

 

 

This appeals to my basest feelings.

 

 

 

Thanks Summer you are the first to state what you might actually do or consider doing. I have contacted her adult child, her in-laws, her new man and been to her work. Apart from the new guy it all happened soon after d-day. So if she feels the same way as you do I can expect all these to happen. So far not as far as I know. But really it wouldn't concern me as I've done nothing that any of them would be concerned about.

After this much time I wouldn't do anything, unless BW came around to start things up again. Then I wouldn't hesitate a second to confront her and either stop it or match her actions. I guess that's why I feel at this point you're best to just let her alone. The decision is obviously yours and I hope whatever you do brings you closer to where you want to be and you don't suffer any repurcussions from the actions.

 

 

I think that 's the problem with an OW retaliating. She's often got nothing serious on the BW to embarrass her with, and if they're like me they won't mind at all if the OW outs herself and the H.

 

The other BW seems quite meek compared to me and has not done anything to make life difficult for the OW, but I know she would like to. I suppose it is harder for her as her children still have some level of contact with their father. Whereas I don't have to worry about ongoing relationships between members of my family and the OW.

 

 

My response to your response to my response is in bold!

[SidLyon]

"It assumes that somehow in my case, me thinking of the OW is bad for me and my marriage."

 

Here is some advice from a very old man, which, of course, you are free to ignore as you see fit. There is nothing good that comes of you continuing to do this after eight years.

 

Yes, I agree that healing happens on someone's own schedule, not some version of "industry standard", if you will. That said, consider you might be 45 years old (obviously, I have no knowledge of your age). Eight years is 17 percent of your life.

 

While I understand that you say this does not consume you, the fact that you need to view this particular OW's social networking pages is NOT a good thing. There is no other way to slice it, nothing good will come for you, from this.

 

8 years ago I didn't know about the A. My healing period since d-day has been 5.5% of my life and I'm pleased to say I'm nearly there.

 

 

 

LadyGrey: You certainly don't seem to be in denial. The 2nd sentence I don't comprehend why you or anyone would give someone another chance who has more than one affair. I couldn't live my life with always looking over my shoulder and yes I know it's not fair of me to say that you do, but I would if I chose to stay with someone who had more than one affair. Perhaps on d day was when you found out about the others, so it was one big cluster?

 

 

It was one single massive d-day, 3 years ago this month. I discovered some things after becoming suspicious and he confessed the rest.