Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) You all are both totally right.. I won't put myself in that position ever again. I have to accept this person is horrible.. I hate having to think that about my sons mother, but there is no way around it. I can't let her ridiculous actions affect MY emotions. I should know better than that.. Edited January 11, 2012 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Share Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) so lets get the timeline: June 2002 - we meet (she is 21 I'm 32, I tell her over and over I'm too old for her but she won't go away May 2004 - she moves into my place April 2006 - we get engaged April 2006 - she tells me she is preg Jan 2007 - our son is born Sept 2007 - we get married Jan 2009 - I start new much higher paying job, have a fight, she runs to parents house 15 minutes away with son Jan 2009 - she asks to come back, I agree. She cuts off her mother and family because they didn't want her to go back May 2010 - planned huge fight started by her, she runs to parents July 2010 - she suggests MC since I keep asking her to come back, we go July 2010 - huge incident blows up after 2nd MC session, things become ugly. She has been cheating with a coworker for months at this point. Puts temp order on me Sept 2010 - she files for child support Dec 2010 - find out she has a new bf from son, she denies over and over Feb 2011 - get PI and prove she and my son are living with this guy, who is in the process of divorcing his 2nd wife at age 36. She still gets child support AND spousal support and stays on my insurance until divorce is final. Around this time I pay her $2700 back child/spousal support May 2011 - 1yr since she left, she files for divorce, her and lawyer blackmail me into a no fault divorce even though she was proven to be committing adultery with new OM and cheated with another guy when we were together. July 2011 - Divorce is finalized, no fault, 70/30 joint legal custody, $750mo in child support. she is still living with OM. July 2011 - I lose job due to major depression, drop in performance Oct 2011 - Notice baby hump Nov 2011 - Get new job Jan 2012 - Friend confirms exw is pregnant Jan 2012 - Tonite I clearly see engagement ring on left hand. Nowhere near as nice as the one I got her. So, yea. This crazy person in the span of a little over 1.5yrs has divorced, gotten pregnant and engaged to this scumbag OM. Now she is HIS problem. What a piece of work. Edited January 13, 2012 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 so lets get the timeline: June 2002 - we meet (she is 21 I'm 32, I tell her over and over I'm too old for her but she won't go away May 2004 - she moves into my place April 2006 - we get engaged April 2006 - she tells me she is preg Jan 2007 - our son is born Sept 2007 - we get married Jan 2009 - I start new much higher paying job, have a fight, she runs to parents house 15 minutes away with son Jan 2009 - she asks to come back, I agree. She cuts off her mother and family because they didn't want her to go back May 2010 - planned huge fight started by her, she runs to parents July 2010 - she suggests MC since I keep asking her to come back, we go July 2010 - huge incident blows up after 2nd MC session, things become ugly. She has been cheating with a coworker for months at this point. Puts temp order on me Sept 2010 - she files for child support Dec 2010 - find out she has a new bf from son, she denies over and over Feb 2011 - get PI and prove she and my son are living with this guy, who is in the process of divorcing his 2nd wife at age 36. She still gets child support AND spousal support and stays on my insurance until divorce is final. Around this time I pay her $2700 back child/spousal support May 2011 - 1yr since she left, she files for divorce, her and lawyer blackmail me into a no fault divorce even though she was proven to be committing adultery with new OM and cheated with another guy when we were together. July 2011 - Divorce is finalized, no fault, 70/30 joint legal custody, $750mo in child support. she is still living with OM. July 2011 - I lose job due to major depression, drop in performance Oct 2011 - Notice baby hump Nov 2011 - Get new job Jan 2012 - Friend confirms exw is pregnant Jan 2012 - Tonite I clearly see engagement ring on left hand. Nowhere near as nice as the one I got her. So, yea. This crazy person in the span of a little over 1.5yrs has divorced, gotten pregnant and engaged to this scumbag OM. Now she is HIS problem. What a piece of work. You have to accept that she has moved on....you will be better for it...you are caught up in the drama...remove yourself from it...she is gone...why oh why care anymore. she is a broken woman who will have issues forever. what if today she called and saaid she is coming back..what would you say? you would not want her around, believe me...begin healing, remove yourself from her drama...you will not begin accepting and healing as long as she is part of your everyday...it hurts like hell, and then one day you wake up from the gutter, and see the sun shining...and believe when I tell you, it will feel good, and better then ever...and you will have learned to be a better person...let go friend Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 You have to accept that she has moved on....you will be better for it...you are caught up in the drama...remove yourself from it...she is gone...why oh why care anymore. she is a broken woman who will have issues forever. what if today she called and saaid she is coming back..what would you say? you would not want her around, believe me...begin healing, remove yourself from her drama...you will not begin accepting and healing as long as she is part of your everyday...it hurts like hell, and then one day you wake up from the gutter, and see the sun shining...and believe when I tell you, it will feel good, and better then ever...and you will have learned to be a better person...let go friend say these words: I have enough self respect for myself to not get caught up in her anymore She doesnt need you, then you dont need her..why are you needy if she isnt...your a man, be strong once she partakes of more then your loins, she is gone from your life...you will not accept this bs..and she has no remorse...how could you ever sleep with her again...it would be hard enough if she had remorse she jumps from you to om...how weak is that...she is a f----up mess...she isnt strong enough to do it on her own...THINK ABOUT IT Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 mm4: I'm coming to visit you in VA to smack you in the face. Stop it, she sucks - let her be married to a scum bag loser and have his baby. You enjoy your life, your time with your son, what she does is irrelevant. You are bigger (literally) and better than her man. Plenty of women out there - this is a rebirth. Don't see it as a death because there is a silver lining to all of this. A new chance at life the way YOU want it to be. Everything is on your terms from now on and no one can tell you any differently, that's awesome! I am in the same position, it's exciting and scary but in the end it will be for the best. Best of luck, talk to you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Share Posted January 13, 2012 I get that bro, I do. I only put the timeline down to again reemphasize just how absurd the whole thing is. I don't like my son being ringside to all her craziness, but nothing I can do. I've turned a corner and I'm not letting it destroy me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
coopster Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I get that bro, I do. I only put the timeline down to again reemphasize just how absurd the whole thing is. I don't like my son being ringside to all her craziness, but nothing I can do. I've turned a corner and I'm not letting it destroy me anymore. been reading your thread for the past couple of days, while i`m really not in the posistion to give you any advice that i think will help you, i will say onething.....i really hoped you have turned that corner, that you mean it. i really hope you`re NOT going to let you destroy you anymore. cos dude..most of your reply`s just say the same thing over and over and over and over and over...again feel for you, i really do, so much..my heart goes out to you but you`re soooo angry....thats wrong... you cant change anything in that state. You must realise this??? It`s not healthy and will get you no where. good luck m8, things will improve......bet you`ve heard that loads of times?! and they will...but only if you let go NOW Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) Was reading today and this made me think of you MM4. When something bad happens you have 3 choices: 1. You either let it define you 2. Let it destroy you 3. Or you can let it strengthen you Whats it to be? Edited January 14, 2012 by LifesontheUp spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Lexygirl Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 so lets get the timeline: June 2002 - we meet (she is 21 I'm 32, I tell her over and over I'm too old for her but she won't go away May 2004 - she moves into my place April 2006 - we get engaged April 2006 - she tells me she is preg Jan 2007 - our son is born Sept 2007 - we get married Jan 2009 - I start new much higher paying job, have a fight, she runs to parents house 15 minutes away with son Jan 2009 - she asks to come back, I agree. She cuts off her mother and family because they didn't want her to go back May 2010 - planned huge fight started by her, she runs to parents July 2010 - she suggests MC since I keep asking her to come back, we go July 2010 - huge incident blows up after 2nd MC session, things become ugly. She has been cheating with a coworker for months at this point. Puts temp order on me Sept 2010 - she files for child support Dec 2010 - find out she has a new bf from son, she denies over and over Feb 2011 - get PI and prove she and my son are living with this guy, who is in the process of divorcing his 2nd wife at age 36. She still gets child support AND spousal support and stays on my insurance until divorce is final. Around this time I pay her $2700 back child/spousal support May 2011 - 1yr since she left, she files for divorce, her and lawyer blackmail me into a no fault divorce even though she was proven to be committing adultery with new OM and cheated with another guy when we were together. July 2011 - Divorce is finalized, no fault, 70/30 joint legal custody, $750mo in child support. she is still living with OM. July 2011 - I lose job due to major depression, drop in performance Oct 2011 - Notice baby hump Nov 2011 - Get new job Jan 2012 - Friend confirms exw is pregnant Jan 2012 - Tonite I clearly see engagement ring on left hand. Nowhere near as nice as the one I got her. So, yea. This crazy person in the span of a little over 1.5yrs has divorced, gotten pregnant and engaged to this scumbag OM. Now she is HIS problem. What a piece of work. Writing this out is actually a very healthy thing to do in order to help you move forward. It helps you to be able to process what has happened. It helps you to move out of bargaining or denial stages. I went through this too quite a few months ago.. writing it all out. At the time, it was in the form of an email to my ex-husband to see if we could find a way to get back together. We did not. However, I truly believe that writing it all out helped to propel me that much closer to the acceptance stage. The stages of grief are barely ever a straight line and you do bounce back and forth but trust me when I say that you WILL get to a point where you will be in the acceptance stage more and more until you find your future a very exciting concept indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 so lets get the timeline: June 2002 - we meet (she is 21 I'm 32, I tell her over and over I'm too old for her but she won't go away . you had a choice here whether she went away or not - she did wrong to you but you could have avoided a lot if you listened to your concerns early on... part of moving forward is accepting your side of the blame... next time someone "won't go away" get a restraining order! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Right here in Hell beside you MM4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 (edited) I'm sorry DoT.. I guess like the old saying goes.. if you are going through hell.. keep going! I had an interesting saturday night.. an old friend is in town, went out to a bar with his sorta gf and two friends of hers. Apparently they both thought I was "cute" and were "into me". Well.. of course I knock down 4-5 Red Bull/Vodkas and get totally schnockered. We go back to their place and it was just me, my friend, his "gf" and the cuter of the two friends of hers. I don't remember any of it, but apparently I acted like a drunk frat boy with the girl, like I was being way too forward and saying inappropriate things. Well played! We should've just gone home and got some sleep.. she had given her number to my friend to give to me and I coulda hit her up sober and who knows what woulda happened. I sent her a txt apologizing for my behavior yesterday afternoon.. and also asked my friends gf to please apologize for me as well. Both of these women were 28 btw.. 2 to 3yrs younger than my exW. Sigh. Edited January 23, 2012 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Oh well, you didn't want to repeat the age gap mistake anyways and everyone gets a jackass-write-off night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 24, 2012 Author Share Posted January 24, 2012 Thanks... I'm not beating myself up too much. Too bad because she was cute and if nothing else we possibly could've been friends. The exWs thing now is trying to make me out like an irresponsible, uncaring father. Its ridiculous, and I know its untrue. I have the feeling she is up to something, ie trying to take joint legal custody from me. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 The exWs thing now is trying to make me out like an irresponsible, uncaring father. Its ridiculous, and I know its untrue. I have the feeling she is up to something, ie trying to take joint legal custody from me. oh my god - this woman is pathological! I've taken everything...and now I'm gonna take some MORE! She can't even let things rest for a bit. A total crazy-maker. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Now that you know her potential plan, give her nothing she can use. For God's sake NOTHING! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 Even when I give her absolutely nothing.. she comes up with drama like saying our son is "constantly" sick when he comes back from my house. There is nothing this person can't embellish or completely blow out of proportion. The last time this happened, I had him for 4 days over the MLK weekend.. he was tired and sad he had to leave but never once said his tummy hurt or he didn't feel well. I had felt his head and he didn't feel warm. She text me an hour after dropoff saying he had a fever etc etc and how "she'll take care of him like she always does" and "its nice to know you don't care". Um, you're the custodial parent. You have him 70% of the time and always during the week. Sorry, you wanted it this way, so don't blame me for your decisions. Honestly, I've never met a more despicable human being in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Hey MM4, there may actually be some validity to her saying that he is "sick all the time" coming back from your place: 1. I remember awhile back her posting about the garbage she feeds him. When he comes to yours, his system might be going through a "mini-detox" each time. Then he gets the good ole' Mac and Cheese and chips when he goes back to hers. 2. My friend's kids are CONSTANTLY sick. They have discovered that it gets them sympathy, attention and time with their otherwise self-absorbed parents. "ohmygosh you are half a degree warmer then optimum! Mommy will take care of you instead of stupid old Daddy. That's right, Mommy is an excellent Mommy. Time for another trip to the clinic!" 3. If I had to get my ass dragged back to her place, I would be feeling pretty sick too. (Do not tell her any of the above during a heated exchange!) Link to post Share on other sites
Lexygirl Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 This all makes me so very sad for your little boy, MM4 He needs stability and consistancy more than ANYTHING right now Link to post Share on other sites
bigmomma1974 Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 you know there are 2 sides to ever story and your side makes her sound like a witch, where as I'm sure she would make you look like a d!ck. It saddens me to see this little boy going through all this unnessacary bull *****. Makes me want to smack the *****out of her. You just keep doing what your doing and ignore her sickness. This woman needs some mental help.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 you know there are 2 sides to ever story and your side makes her sound like a witch, where as I'm sure she would make you look like a d!ck. It saddens me to see this little boy going through all this unnessacary bull *****. Makes me want to smack the *****out of her. You just keep doing what your doing and ignore her sickness. This woman needs some mental help.. oh absolutely.. i've done some things I'm not so proud of, been desperate and made things more difficult, sure. and believe me, I've paid the consequences 100 times over for my mistakes and have suffered a ton over the last 1.5yrs. she has taken 0 responsibility for anything.. such as cheating on me while we were still together for months, lying about everything, going behind my back to set me up to have an excuse to leave, purposely starting a fight the day she left to give her a reason to leave, her claiming I abused her when she was equally as bad, just in an emotional way, lying under oath in court, trying to take my son away for 2yrs, committing adultery with yet another guy within 6mos of separation, moving our son in with said scumbag and lying about that countless times, every dirty trick she and her lawyer pulled during the divorce, getting knocked up around the time the divorce was final.. oh, I could go on and on and on. She's horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 So I'm finally 100% committed to MYSELF and my SON... the past no longer matters and I'm doing my best to let go of all the hatred I have for my exW. I had a great weekend with my son, when I dropped him off at no time did I even look at my ex and that helped. I'm watching this movie and its inspired me to start juicing.. my friend who is staying with me is committed to it as well. I'm also going to quit smoking once and for all.. first and foremost for my health, secondly because it costs $150mo, and third most women don't like smokers. Check this movie out if you have a chance, its pretty interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 So I'm finally 100% committed to MYSELF and my SON... the past no longer matters and I'm doing my best to let go of all the hatred I have for my exW. I had a great weekend with my son, when I dropped him off at no time did I even look at my ex and that helped. I'm watching this movie and its inspired me to start juicing.. my friend who is staying with me is committed to it as well. I'm also going to quit smoking once and for all.. first and foremost for my health, secondly because it costs $150mo, and third most women don't like smokers. Check this movie out if you have a chance, its pretty interesting. I saw that movie - it was very interesting although it was basically an infommercial for that juicer (very cleverly done and entertaining).... juicing is very good IN MODERATION, balance is the key, get your proteins and whole grain breads too!, those that juice 100% are prone to spikes in sugar levels so take caution.... Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 good deal on the quitting smoking! take that money and get a membership to lifetime fitness for you and your son to enjoy! they have the indoor pool all winter and the outdoor pool in the summer. you can work out, get massages. he can play in the child care and then you two can eat together in the cafe! they have great classes for kids too! it would be a great investment in your health and your relationship! my kids and i went sat night to swim for an hour. we had dinner too. it's so much fun! keep moving forward! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thanks Andy and updown (good to hear from you!).. I'm going to make a concerted effort to improve my health and hopefully it'll help my attitude and how I feel about myself as a person. Sooooooo... this thread needs to die. Alot of GREAT advice but a lot of negativity and embarrassing things I've said. Goodbye to this thread.. if I feel the need I'll create a happy, positive thread dedicated to MOVING FORWARD and improving my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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